our secret green club? Part 8

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning...okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

If your Christmas ornaments are made out of spent shot-gun shells.



You might be a redneck

 

[katlas&kids]

Yes won't be back til April, 6 weeks from now I think

6 weeks, 5 days and about 19 1/2 hours. Not working on the minutes yet. But I don't think I will miss it at all....

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.






You might be a redneck

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

You think a stock tip is
advice on worming' your hogs.




You might be a redneck

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

You think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi.





You might be a redneck

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company





You might be a redneck

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

Your house still has the
"WIDE LOAD"
sign on the back.



You might be a redneck

 

[katlas&kids]

Well, that's just pitiful. I can't imagine what that feels like. (is there a sarcasm smiley out there?) Hi Kelly.

ummm.. have this:

, this:

, this:

and this one:

.

Feel free to choose one or all. And if you need more... Hey back off Jaqueline!! Those are MY smilies!!!!

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'






You might be a redneck

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

Your sister is the third generation
of women in your family to conceive
a baby as a result of an alien abduction.




You might be a redneck

 

[katlas&kids]

Oh no, Mine was done Years ago. My mouth hasn't had any work done in years. All I get is cleanings.

But it's my DS's turn now and he hasn't had it done yet. I feel really bad for him. His mouth has been through so much abuse as is. Pallet Expanders, Teeth Spacers, Top Braces and now this..

He doesn't know he will need them to cut into his gums to pull out the teeth yet. I'm afraid to tell him, he doesn't like dentists as it is. He also had a very hard time with the Pallet Expander, he couldn't eat solid food for 2 weeks and he still has trouble, foods get stuck all on top of this thing.

My oldest had brittle bone disease. Yep calcium so now it is getting his teeth. Cavities all along the gum line. But he does't think the chain soda drinking is helping to cause the problem. Yeah...rite!

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

If you can burp
and say your name at the same time,



you're shur'nuff a redneck.

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

You think Possum is
"The Other White Meat"




You might be a redneck

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.





You might be a redneck

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

You hooked up with your present girlfriend
as a result of a message on the wall of
the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.






You might be a redneck

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

The centerpiece on your dining room table
is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.





You might be a redneck

 

[SleepingBeautyDreamr]

You think a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.


You might be a redneck

 

[MrOakie]

Here's a good clean joke for y'all.

----------

Two car salesman are standing on the sales floor discussing the events of the day. While talking, they notice a blind man with his seeing eye dog walk past the car lot. The man and his dog suddenly walk onto the car lot. He picks up the dog by the tail and starts swinging him in circles around his head. The two salesman are outraged at what they see, and come rushing over to stop the blind man. They come yelling and screaming at the blind man. "Hey, what in the heck are you doing", "stop that this minute", "You can't do that to that poor animal", "what are you doing here". The blind man responds....... "Oh, I'm just looking around"