Our Grand Gathering Adventure:Surprising the Boys! 9/17 WE LEAVE TOMORROW!!!

[hhockman]

Heather, feel free to say what is on your mind anytime. You will do fine. You have the right attitude. You will be in Disney and the weight will just slide off your back. You are a good daughter and trying very hard to get out on your own. But your mom shouldn't say such things. She does it because she wants to be controlling of everything you do. And it is her way of doing so. You try to remember that she obviously is unhappy so let's take it out on someone that she can hurt. Hang in there and remember you are a good person, a good wife and a good mother. Sometimes we (and I do mean me) have a hard time being a good daughter. Your are loved.

Aww Ginny. You just brought tears to my eyes. I SO needed that right this second.

We just had a phone call that was good, but also stressful news. Will got his coach for fall ball again (the draft was last night and he's just NOW calling), but he wants to "talk" to us before the season starts. There's a lot of history behind this. I had what I will nicely call a "nervous breakdown" in the middle of an All Star practice LAST YEAR (June 2008). Nobody has ever quite forgotten it, but I guess it's been let go. Then, this past June Will's coach and one of the assistant coaches had a "talk" with me about a remark that I made after a game. It was totally innocent (They were talking about not going to World Series and I said we should). A lot of stuff happened, Matt was LIVID that they cornered me without him, and there were a lot of apologies. Anyway, at the last game of the World Series I was a little upset about his coaching. I didn't cause a scene. I went off by myself. All of the other coaches questioned his coaching too-and we lost the game and were out. After the game I didn't particularly want to talk to him or his wife, but it was a whole big thing about our friendship and not just about the game. Something they totally don't get. So now he wants to "talk" again (with Matt present this time) and Matt is NOT happy. I don't blame him. I'm not particularly happy either. I'm tired of being singled out (although he did tell Matt he had to talk to some other people too).

And in case you haven't put 2 and 2 together yet, these are Cole's parents. Why can't anything ever just be easy?

(I'm not worried they're going to say Cole can't come. They are going on a cruise and need someone to "babysit" Cole anyway. It's just the whole situation. We all used to be good friends).

Gotta go get the boys! I'll be back.

 

[aaaateamsgrandma]

Aww Ginny. You just brought tears to my eyes. I SO needed that right this second.

We just had a phone call that was good, but also stressful news. Will got his coach for fall ball again (the draft was last night and he's just NOW calling), but he wants to "talk" to us before the season starts. There's a lot of history behind this. I had what I will nicely call a "nervous breakdown" in the middle of an All Star practice LAST YEAR (June 2008). Nobody has ever quite forgotten it, but I guess it's been let go. Then, this past June Will's coach and one of the assistant coaches had a "talk" with me about a remark that I made after a game. It was totally innocent (They were talking about not going to World Series and I said we should). A lot of stuff happened, Matt was LIVID that they cornered me without him, and there were a lot of apologies. Anyway, at the last game of the World Series I was a little upset about his coaching. I didn't cause a scene. I went off by myself. All of the other coaches questioned his coaching too-and we lost the game and were out. After the game I didn't particularly want to talk to him or his wife, but it was a whole big thing about our friendship and not just about the game. Something they totally don't get. So now he wants to "talk" again (with Matt present this time) and Matt is NOT happy. I don't blame him. I'm not particularly happy either. I'm tired of being singled out (although he did tell Matt he had to talk to some other people too).

And in case you haven't put 2 and 2 together yet, these are Cole's parents. Why can't anything ever just be easy?

(I'm not worried they're going to say Cole can't come. They are going on a cruise and need someone to "babysit" Cole anyway. It's just the whole situation. We all used to be good friends).

Gotta go get the boys! I'll be back.

My prayers are with you that this will work out in the boys best interest. I know you and Matt are adults and will deal with whatever this man thinks he needs to do. We just don't want to see the boys hurt in any way. Matt is such a good man. Always seems to know what is in your best interest and very protective of you. HE will make it be right. Extra hugs from us all. Keep us up to date.

Ginny

 

[MICKEY4EVER!]

Sounds like you've got a lot to worry about right now, Heather. I'm sorry! I know it stinks when people you thought were your friends and then suddenly, something's changed and you aren't quite sure why. I've been there, done that. More than once. Some people are hard to figure out.

Hang in there and stay true to yourself and your family! We love you very much. Vent to us anytime.

 

[MICKEY4EVER!]

Oh, and I've typed out a couple of birthday ideas on my TR, if you want to go check it out. Mitchell's turning 5 in December, so I still have a little ways to go. We like to start planning early!

Any ideas that you have, feel free to post!

 

[hhockman]

Thanks girls. It's amazing how good of friends you have become in the short time we've known each other.

Yes, as I keep trying to explain to people who don't understand, we really NEED this vacation. We need this time with our family. Matt and I both know there are plenty of sensible things we could have done with the money. But there isn't anything more important than what we're doing.

We did think they were friends. Close friends at that. Because of a couple of things that have happened, we finally woke up to the fact that we were doing ALL the giving. Now, I'm certainly not someone that gives expecting anything in return, but eventually you realize everything is one sided. And I don't think they've ever figured it out. There are other people on the team, other adults, who I've had discussions with and we are not the only people to make this observation. Things pretty much had to come to a head sooner or later. I'm not sure a conversation is going to help anything. They just plain don't get what friendship is, but it's got to be done.

Will is on the team for the fall and we are happy about that for his sake. Most of his friends from the summer (and the spring, and last fall, and last summer etc) are also on the team. There were only a couple Tony didn't get. Will is very attached to Tony and everyone involved knows that. My most important objective is to make sure Will doesn't get hurt. I will do whatever I have to to make sure he doesn't. So will Matt. But Matt is just as hurt as I am. I don't think they've even figured out that this isn't about baseball.

In any case, Matt left for work MAD . He doesn't anger easily and the fact that he's still mad 2 hours later is very telling. We aren't supposed to have this "conversation" until Saturday, so we'll see what happens in the next two days.

I don't think they'll change Cole's plans, it would be too inconvienent for them, but one of the reasons we haven't told the boys about the trip is just in case they do decide to do something like that. There have been several times where they said Cole could go with us somewhere or spend the night and then changed their minds and Will was disappointed. I figured avoiding that from the outset was the best idea. Plus, more than that, I'm SUPER EXCITED about surprising the boys.

I'll keep you guys updated. You don't know how much I appreciate having someone "outside" the situation to talk to. We just plain don't have any friends here that aren't connected to baseball.


FOR ANYONE THAT MIGHT BE LURKING or anyone that wants DISNEY, I'm really sorry about this little interlude. It's a little applicable as it does have to do with Cole, but I promise we'll get back to our regularly scheduled program in just a bit.

Mel, I'll head over to your TR tonight after the boys are in bed to check out the birthday plans. Somehow I didn't realize that Mitchell was only 6 months older than Christian. I'll bet they'd get along SO well!

 

[aaaateamsgrandma]

Heather, I personally don't understand 'adults' (and I use that term loosely) that tell children they will do something, then back out. Sometimes things do come up and that is where you are smart in case changes have to be made they don't have to know. I can't imagine hurting any child and words hurt. As I previously said. I know in my heart you and Matt will do what is right for your boys and these 'adults' loose out well they weren't your friends to begin with.

 

[DisneyMomLiz]

First, I just wanted to say, for all the trouble you are having to deal with lately between family issues and friends/baseball issues. As some other posters mentioned, you know you will be doing what is best for your DH and your kids, so don't worry about what anyone else thinks or says!!

GO ahead and "borrow" whatever you'd like. I got most of the ideas from jaycns anyway! I think the shirts are adorable too. I just hope my trying-to-grow-up-to-fast 7 year olds don't think they're babyish. They'll deal if they do. I have one other design that I'm planning to iron on too, if I ever get around to it. I have so many "bought" t-shirts that I'm not sure when we'll wear them all anyway! Iron-ons are easy. Just make sure you follow the instructions. I made a bunch for myself, Christian, and a couple friends with Will's All-Star team's logo on them this summer so I'm a "pro" now.

Well pro, I'll be sure to check in with you if I run into any trouble. Hope to work on them tomorrow.

I don't think I realized we were going at the same time either (although it should have been easy enough to figure out by actually LOOKING at your ticker). Do you have a PTR? Will you have a LGMH. I don't actually have one yet, and I'm still a little wary about putting it on because I really don't know THAT many people on the DIS. But I'm starting to see that a couple "friends" are going at the same time, so I might have to break down and do it.

That's what finally made me realize...I read your ticker again more closely

I don't have a PTR, been stalking er, I mean reading too many others that are just too good (like yours). I was afraid no one would read mine , but I'm getting the itch. Unfortunately, probably too late to start a PTR, but I'm determined to write a TR, even if no one reads it, at least I'll have all of my memories in one place...and I can print it and actually have a scrapbook of sorts?!

I do have a LGMH, put it on the diaper/backpack we carried in May (last trip), but didn't spy any others while we were there, but I had just started on the DIS?! This time I'm even planning a DISmeet with a Dis-Friend! Wear your LGMH proudly, or at least stick it on your purse...I'll keep an eye out for them a little more closely this time since I know so many of us will be around this time

Your DS is going to have a great time (even if he has been a few times before)!

Thanks He loves and so do we...that's why it's our only family vacation destination!

And HOW did you get the upgrade? I'm sure it's too late for us now, but it would be such a shame if we were all of a sudden at a different resort than the rest of my family.

I guess, a few weeks ago I got an email that said "surprise" would you like an upgrade to SSR or OKW...call now, only limited available. So as you can imagine I was on the phone immediately. After getting disconnected when I was about to get the upgrade I finally got through (read 35 min on hold, cell phone about to die) and we were blessed with a SSR - Studio. My first ever upgrade!

There's still hope for you, I've been reading a lot recently, about people checking in and getting an upgrade right then and there?! Lots of for you!!!

ok...rambled long enough, sorry. Again for all you are going through and as you stated, soon you'll be at Disney and all will be well

 

[longing2Batdisney]

IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO START; PERFECT TIMING TO TUNE UP YOUR PLANS!!! AND SHARE SO WE CAN AWAIT YOUR TRIP REPORT!

AND I started my PTR WAAAAAAY toooooo early!!! I don't even have a booking yet

 

[mickeystoontown]

Heather, I am sorry that I haven't posted a big hug and a urgent prayer for you before now. We had some bad weather come through and the internet got knocked out.

It's going to work out for the better so try not to worry too much. I say that but I know it's hard not to worry.

Sending hugs your way.

 

[longing2Batdisney]

Heather, I'm sorry I had to go back and read what I did not realized I had missed. I'm sure you and Matt will come to terms w/how to handle the situation at hand. I know it is hard; been there and still go through it with Danny & I's BF's and neighbors. I feel like they really only call when they need me to explain or figure something out. Or they need Danny to repair something. Just keep in mind Will & Cole and keep your distance at other times until things settle down. Just because the kids are BF's doesn't mean you have to be (I learned that the hard way too!!)
Good Luck!!

 

[hhockman]

I just want to quickly say THANK YOU so much to all of you. It's been a hard day. I found out from a friend (who really is a friend-and ended up on a different team) things are much worse than we even knew. Apparently Cole's mom said (in my friend's hearing) that they "weren't going to pick up Will this fall" to "teach me a lesson" so that I would "behave myself come Spring". Really? I'm not sure exactly who this man thinks he is, but he's not my dad, my husband, my pastor, or my Father. So I don't have to answer to him. The friendship is totally done. And it hurts us both. But we also know that we have friends out there, so that helps. I'm not sure what will happen with Cole. On our end we're taking him because we are not about to hurt that child because of his parents. We'll see what happens in the coming weeks.

Thank you all so much for listening to my saga. The good news is, we leave for Disney in 4 weeks and I AM going to have a good time and have a GREAT TR to share with you all when I get back!

you guys!

 

[hhockman]

Okay, who wants to talk about DISNEY?!

I made some lists last week and I figured I'd share them with you. Let me know if you think of anything that's missing:

The Boys' Car Bags (they will all be the same except that Will has a Didj, Christian has a Leapster, and Cole will have neither-or the old LMax)
Nintendo DS + charger + games (I will probably have the game bag)
Didj/Leapster + games
3-4 books to read
Workbook (math or games)
Sunglasses
Movies (in a case shared between the three of them)
Blanket
Small Pillow
Crayons/Pencils
Coloring Book

In all actuality they will probably play the DSs and/or watch movies the whole trip, but might pull out the Didj and Leapster Star Wars games

My Car Bag
Harry Potter 4 and 5 (I'm still getting through 3 for the umpteenth time)
39 Clues Book 5
Alice In Wonderland/Through The Looking Glass (if I haven't finished it)
Anne of Green Gables 5
Unofficial Guide
Passporter
Nintendo DS + charger + games
Scrapbook magazines
iPod + charger
Reservation info
Disney Dollars/Chase Rewards Card

I will probably spend most of the trip reading, but might play my DS some, especially if I manage to get the new Professor Layton game that is supposed to come out next week.

Bag For The Car
change of clothes for each kid (just in case)
DVD Players and chargers (we have 2-the kids each got one for Christmas last year, but one of them wasn't working the last time I tried it so we'll see)
Cooler w/ drinks
iPod cord (to play my iPod through the Auxillary)
Sunglasses for me and Matt

Snacks For The Car (and then the room)
Peanut Butter crackers
Pringles
Triscuits
Grapes/Oranges/Apples
Cheese
Town House Crackers
Sour Patch Kids
Fruit Snacks
Popcorn
Capri Suns
Diet Pepsi
Dr. Pepper
Sprite
Granola Bars
Water

Snacks For The Room (mostly breakfast stuff)
Bagels
Cream Cheese
Rice Crispies
Frosted Mini Wheats
Honey Bunches of Oats
Pop Tarts
Bread
Peanut Butter
Milk
Donuts

Matt is complaining that we are only eating one breakfast out of the room (Tusker House), but I just hate to waste credits on breakfast. I'm not much of a breakfast eater, but he is, and the kids like it, so we might be doing a couple of food court breakfasts. We'll see.

Okay, that's the car. We have everything for everyone's bags and some of the food, but not all of it, already. Next post: suitcases.

 

[hhockman]

I have a much more detailed individual lists in front of me, but here's the basic list for everyone's suitcase. "Essentials" will be listed in the next post. This is just basically clothes.

Clothes
Underwear
Socks
T-Shirts
White Polo/Nice shirt for pictures
shorts (athletic and khaki and jean-even for the boys Lisa! LOL)
tennis shoes
crocs/sandles/flip flops
swimsuits (plus rash guards for the kids)
bras
hats
eye mask
Good Nights (Will still wets the bed-Matt did it until he was 10)
sunglasses (extra pairs)
pajamas

EVERYTHING ELSE to pack
shampoo (adult and kids')
conditioner
razors/blades
sunscreen
beach towels
pillows (POR had some of the worst rated pillows in the UG)
pressed penny books
travel journals (mine and 3 boys')
lanyards (still haven't decided about these yet-but Matt and I have 2 from when we were AP holders)
water bottles
backpacks (for the 3 boys-buying mine when we get there)
cameras (3 POC cameras, my point and shoot and SLR and the camcorder)
memory cards
DVDs for camcorder
camcorder charger
rechargable batteries + charger
camera backpack
watches
fans
bubbles
Mickey's (stuffies-which we will hide until we get there-but I'm hoping this will prevent buying another one-we have 2 average-sized Mickeys)
Guide to the Magic (if I end up getting it)
Christian's Swim Vest
First Aid-band-aids, itch cream (benedryl), neosporin, tylenol, ibuprofen, carmex, aloe, Pepcid, Gas-X, super glue, kanka
Rainforest Cafe Membership Card
TRex GC
Yahtzee electronic game
Pencil Pouches with pencils, colored pencils, erasers, sharpeners
Workbooks
Playing Cards
Uno + Skip Bo
Toothbrushes + Toothpaste (adults' and kids')
Cups
Bowls
Straw Cups (the Disney ones)
Antibaterial Wipes
Antibaterial Soap
Waterless Hand Sanitizer
Bathroom Wipes
My purse
Matt's wallet


Things To Buy
rechargable batteries (we have some, but I want more-too many things take AA batteries)
the rest of the food
Christian's water bottle (Will has this AWESOME Thermos water bottle that he takes to school. It was $13, but it still has ICE in it at the end of the day)
DVDs for camcorder
Ringer Ts and Transfer paper
bubbles
Guide to the Magic for Kids (?)
Christian's Swim Vest (we apparently left the yellow one at White Water, but they couldn't find it)
Shorts for Matt
Shoes for Matt
Star Wars, Presidents, and Dinosaur Fandexes
Goodnights
Pins (?)

Sooooooo, what do you think? What am I forgetting? I know there's something!

 

[hhockman]

Okay, I know we established earlier that I'm a dork but does this song make anyone else want to turn off the lights and use less water? I'm not a big environmentalist as far as that goes, but this song STAYS in my head (good thing I like it) and I keep remembering to turn things off.

OKAY, OKAY...I just admitted I'm a dork!

http://disney.go.com/disneygroups/friendsforchange/#/disneygroups/friendsforchange/

 

[aaaateamsgrandma]

Just making sure you packed the 'jorts' in there. You sound ready. Good for you. Have a great day.

Ginny

 

[cjackearl]

Hello. Is there room for one more? I read the first few pages, then skipped to the last because I'm impatient like that. I promise to go back and get all caught up. Your packing lists look fabulous and very thorough. I saw Anne of GG on your bag list. I've read the whole series, except book 7 which I could only read once, 3 times now. I love that Anne! Your trip is so very close now.

 

[MICKEY4EVER!]

Heather, as I've said before, I know just where you are on the friends situation. I, too, was in a one-sided friendship, where I was doing all the giving and she was doing all the taking.

She's my cousin, so I took her crap for years. I threw her a babyshower and got YELLED at for asking her to get me a list of names and addresses and I was paying for the entire shower by myself, she could have been grateful, but she was not. She demanded CAKE and CUPCAKES. When I told her I was only doing the cupcakes, she got angry and said I TOLD YOU I WANTED CAKE and CUPCAKES!". Geez!

She had her mother in law make her a cake and I did what I said I was going to do. Guess how many people came to this shower??? A grand total of four people. Now I know why she has so many friends.

I loaned her everything I could possibly think of that belonged to my son (crib, swing, bassinet, blankets, clothes, etc.) and then I loaned her a lot of MONEY and then she screams at me b/c I call to chat with her, telling me that I was "getting all up in her business." Whatever. I was just trying to be nice. I told her to take a HIKE! I couldn't take it anymore!

I have talked to her since and asked for my baby things back, just in case we wanted to have another, but I still haven't gotten them. She has since had another child and called to tell me all about it, and mentioned giving my things back. She also said she wanted to be friends again, and she realized that we had both just had a bad day on the day of the phone fight. Um, she was having a bad day, not me! Anyways, I don't really want to start the friendship back up again. I can't do that anymore. I just know how she is and I don't want to take that abuse anymore. But I do want my stuff back, though!

Don't allow them to bring you down, Heather. If Cole can't go, then that's really unfair of his parents, but you are being the bigger person by not taking it out on him and still wanting him along.

 

[longing2Batdisney]

only thing I did not see and maybe I just passed over it was a small first aid pack!!! pain meds(tyenol or motrin whatever you use), benadryl (if you use that) bandaids, antibotic cream, etc.


Just remember that people spread visious rumors. It may be correct what she said but it may also be exagerrated! I lost a very good friend (we are still friends but nothing like before) girl we were both friends with would tell me something and than her something needless to say after we both got rid of her and months of not speaking when we talked alot of things were taken WAY OUT OF CONTEXT!! just beware!!

I would just blow it off for now and worry about Disney and enjoy the family gathering that is about to commence!

 

[aaaateamsgrandma]

You must have a small first aid kit. I put mine in a small cosmetic bag. moleskin, AAA antibiotic ointment, bandaids, motrin and chewable pepto. I even have little scissors and needle and thread in case a button pops.

 

[hhockman]

Cole is not going. I called this morning to take him off of the reservation. Apparently Tony didn't want him to go because we will miss a game and since there are only 10 kids on the team this season, two kids missing would cause us to forfeit.

Yes, Tony is actually taking a fully paid for week long trip to Disney World from a 7 year old because of a baseball game. At least Cole didn't know about the trip beforehand.

Kelly is going to give me the money back for the things I've bought Cole. When I called this morning it didn't sound like Disney was going to charge me the change fee, so that's good, but Kelly said she would pay that too if they charge it.

Honestly, I'm relieved. Not just because of the strain on the the friendship but because the whole thing was getting hard. I know my mom would want to buy things for and do things for my kids that she didn't want to pay for for Cole. So she would either end up not doing for my kids, or doing for Cole too and not like it. We're only getting a small refund (he didn't cost much), but at least now we have a little spending money. Everything out of pocket will be less. And we'll have more room in the car. So it's all good.

I really appreciate all of your prayers and hugs. Tomorrow when we have our "talk" isn't going to be fun, but I'm past the point of caring. As long as Will is having fun, I'm good.

I'm thinking of booking the Pirates League for the boys (if it's not too late). I've wanted to do it since I first heard about it, but couldn't afford to pay for Cole too. I think they would really enjoy it.

Also, we've decided not to do the Portrait session at the Beach Club. When I called they said they are not giving a discount for having prepurchased the CD anymore, so it costs more. Plus they "strongly suggested" we book an extra session with such a big group. I called my dad and we just decided we would either take our own pictures or have a PP photog take one. We can just give my grandparents a picture of everybody standing in front of the castle. One less stressful thing to worry about.

Ginny and Connie-I think I did have First Aid on the list somewhere. I already have a tiny little first aid kit like you get in the travel aisle, I guess I just forgot to put it on the list.

Can someone please tell me WHERE you get moleskin? I know it's to prevent blisters, but I've never seen it anywhere.

27 DAYS!!!