allie5
<font color=blue>WARNING! DHL men should be cautio
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2002
- Messages
- 1,572
Spent the "afternoon" (sort of!) in Casualty today (or is it now called ER
).
You wont believe what I did
.
I was in town on Sat, late afternoon, shops were packed, DS was with me, refusing to wear snug woollen hat and mittens, so was wailing because he was cold....(if anyone has suggestions to keep struggling 2 year olds in said items please let me know :wink: ). Anyway, by the time I get back to the car, he is screaming, shopping is spilling out of the buggy basket and to top it off some ignoramus in a BMW parked 2 inches away from my car so I could barely insert DS into his car seat. So, you get the picture...Im hot and flustered, trying to juggle a squirmsome toddler, a buggy, assorted shopping bags and 6 rolls of Disney wrapping paper (which SEEMED like a good idea in the shop!). Gave up trying NOT to scratch the BMW and thrust DS into his seat at last. Throw shopping into car boot and slam down the tail lift thing....misjudged the angle and brought it down on my nose.
Oooooh, the pain! Saw stars and teetered rather worryingly into oncoming traffic. Made it into the car and couldnt do much! DS was still wailing so (probably foolishly) I drove home, which is only round the corner thank goodness! Mum was baby sitting DD, and when I opened the door she nearly fell over...my face was caked in blood. Cleaned myself up and took some nurofen. Felt a bit shaken but otherwise OK.
Anyway, today, when I get up, Im all dizzy and Ive got a monster headache so decided to call that NHS direct line. They ask all sorts of probing questions (none of which seem relevant, to a bang on the nose, but who am I to argue?). Nice lady chortles somewhat when I explain my mishap, but sportingly, adopts a more suitable manner (after she stops laughing) and tells me a "Health Professional" would call me back shortly. Possibly she was a Health Unprofessional, hence the laughter??
As promised, another cheeky blighter (not showing any more signs of the alledged "professionalism" than the last one) has the audacity to ask if the car was allright! Cheeky so and so! He then enquires to the make of the car, and then goes onto say (and Im NOT making this up!!) "oooh, yes, they are quite big and heavy those, better get yourself off to casualty love". So, my diagnosis was based on the fact that my car happens to be "big and heavy"!! He does elaborate a tad with some big words like "possible concussion" but soon returns to the subject of the car, and how "my brother in law has one, they are very nice, but big. And heavy". Grrrrrr. Just my luck to get the Jeremy Clarkson of the Medical world.
I prepare myself to a trip to Casualty. Supplies have to be enough to last sometime, possibly days. I pack nibbles, drinks, newspaper, and toy with the idea of the laptop, but decide against
. Mum is left in charge of the kiddos, and DH and I set off for the hospital. We promise to write and send money if we are gone for more than a week.
Vague gesticulations are made on arrival at a distant desk where we are to"sign in". A veritable cornucopia of surly NHS employees await to take one's Vital Statistics and I am soon done and look for a spot in which to set Base Camp. To my utter astonishment, we dont even get our bums on the seats before a speedy little nurse has swept my Vital Stats off of the printer, called my name and I am led into a little Ante Chamber. Ooooh. Obviously, I am in the "Department For Stupid Women Who Have Cracked Their Nose On Their Car Boot".
Here we sit for about, oh, FIVE MINUTES....before my name is called again, and I am ushered behind a curtain where the speedy little nurse from before has his turn to chuckle at my misfortune. Takes all the gory details, then lunges at my nose, takes hold and asks "Does this hurt?". Well of course it flippin well does you stupid man. WHO are training our Nurses these days? Nurses R US? Well, apparently, I didnt scream loud enough, so the diagnosis is, my nose isnt broken. Oh, goody.
Helpful Nurse tells me If it HAD of been broken I would have probably karateed him back to Casualty when he touched it. I was tempted with the offer, but passed. Some more questioning, where it was established that I didnt have a thing wrong with me (other than wounded pride) and that to take copious amounts of Nurofen and Paracetamol until the headache goes away. Case dismissed. Whole thing done, dusted and diagnosed in less than 20 minutes!! Amazing advances in the NHS these days!
So here I sit, clutching a multi pack of Nurofen and sporting a boxers nose (well a SWOLLEN boxers nose, not a broken one!!). Dont laugh its not funny. Well not much, anyway.


You wont believe what I did

I was in town on Sat, late afternoon, shops were packed, DS was with me, refusing to wear snug woollen hat and mittens, so was wailing because he was cold....(if anyone has suggestions to keep struggling 2 year olds in said items please let me know :wink: ). Anyway, by the time I get back to the car, he is screaming, shopping is spilling out of the buggy basket and to top it off some ignoramus in a BMW parked 2 inches away from my car so I could barely insert DS into his car seat. So, you get the picture...Im hot and flustered, trying to juggle a squirmsome toddler, a buggy, assorted shopping bags and 6 rolls of Disney wrapping paper (which SEEMED like a good idea in the shop!). Gave up trying NOT to scratch the BMW and thrust DS into his seat at last. Throw shopping into car boot and slam down the tail lift thing....misjudged the angle and brought it down on my nose.
Oooooh, the pain! Saw stars and teetered rather worryingly into oncoming traffic. Made it into the car and couldnt do much! DS was still wailing so (probably foolishly) I drove home, which is only round the corner thank goodness! Mum was baby sitting DD, and when I opened the door she nearly fell over...my face was caked in blood. Cleaned myself up and took some nurofen. Felt a bit shaken but otherwise OK.
Anyway, today, when I get up, Im all dizzy and Ive got a monster headache so decided to call that NHS direct line. They ask all sorts of probing questions (none of which seem relevant, to a bang on the nose, but who am I to argue?). Nice lady chortles somewhat when I explain my mishap, but sportingly, adopts a more suitable manner (after she stops laughing) and tells me a "Health Professional" would call me back shortly. Possibly she was a Health Unprofessional, hence the laughter??
As promised, another cheeky blighter (not showing any more signs of the alledged "professionalism" than the last one) has the audacity to ask if the car was allright! Cheeky so and so! He then enquires to the make of the car, and then goes onto say (and Im NOT making this up!!) "oooh, yes, they are quite big and heavy those, better get yourself off to casualty love". So, my diagnosis was based on the fact that my car happens to be "big and heavy"!! He does elaborate a tad with some big words like "possible concussion" but soon returns to the subject of the car, and how "my brother in law has one, they are very nice, but big. And heavy". Grrrrrr. Just my luck to get the Jeremy Clarkson of the Medical world.
I prepare myself to a trip to Casualty. Supplies have to be enough to last sometime, possibly days. I pack nibbles, drinks, newspaper, and toy with the idea of the laptop, but decide against

Vague gesticulations are made on arrival at a distant desk where we are to"sign in". A veritable cornucopia of surly NHS employees await to take one's Vital Statistics and I am soon done and look for a spot in which to set Base Camp. To my utter astonishment, we dont even get our bums on the seats before a speedy little nurse has swept my Vital Stats off of the printer, called my name and I am led into a little Ante Chamber. Ooooh. Obviously, I am in the "Department For Stupid Women Who Have Cracked Their Nose On Their Car Boot".
Here we sit for about, oh, FIVE MINUTES....before my name is called again, and I am ushered behind a curtain where the speedy little nurse from before has his turn to chuckle at my misfortune. Takes all the gory details, then lunges at my nose, takes hold and asks "Does this hurt?". Well of course it flippin well does you stupid man. WHO are training our Nurses these days? Nurses R US? Well, apparently, I didnt scream loud enough, so the diagnosis is, my nose isnt broken. Oh, goody.
Helpful Nurse tells me If it HAD of been broken I would have probably karateed him back to Casualty when he touched it. I was tempted with the offer, but passed. Some more questioning, where it was established that I didnt have a thing wrong with me (other than wounded pride) and that to take copious amounts of Nurofen and Paracetamol until the headache goes away. Case dismissed. Whole thing done, dusted and diagnosed in less than 20 minutes!! Amazing advances in the NHS these days!
So here I sit, clutching a multi pack of Nurofen and sporting a boxers nose (well a SWOLLEN boxers nose, not a broken one!!). Dont laugh its not funny. Well not much, anyway.
