OT: WWYD? alcohol

[maddiesmom0116]

WWYD? I was at a family birthday party and I see one of the dad's offer his 13 year old daughter a sip of his alcohol (he had a shot glass of whiskey). She turns him down, and he says "go ahead and smell it". She smells it. He then says "go ahead and take a sip". She takes a sip even though she clearly doesn't want to. Both the mom and dad are very open with alcohol and even have no problem letting their toddlers take a sip of a beer. The mom loves to serve the other kids at the party non-alcoholic dacquari drinks in real martini glasses. They come from a european culture where drinking is no big deal.

I find it very disturbing, but it's really none of my business. These people are extended family members so I can't avoid them. Yet, watching stuff like this makes me so mad! What would you do?

My dad let me try beer when I was fairly young and it was so gross I still won't drink it. He should have done the same with Vodka, Rum, Tequila, etc... They may have been doing a similar thing with their child. as long as they don't do this with your kids then i would let it go until you see it progress to endangerment level.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

My dad let me try beer when I was fairly young and it was so gross I still won't drink it. He should have done the same with Vodka, Rum, Tequila, etc... They may have been doing a similar thing with their child. as long as they don't do this with your kids then i would let it go until you see it progress to endangerment level.

You asked and your dad let you try. In the OP's story the girl did not ask and was coerced into it. That was more disturbing than the fact that she tried a sip.

 

[kevschickee]

Well she knows she doesn't like it and maybe it will deter her from it when she is older.

 

[CouponCon]

Personally I would mind my own business.....to each his own.....although the OP also said the toddlers sip beer????? I forgot while I was teaching my kids to walk and talk I also should be teaching them to drink responsibly....

 

[kevschickee]

Personally I would mind my own business.....to each his own.....although the OP also said the toddlers sip beer????? I forgot while I was teaching my kids to walk and talk I also should be teaching them to drink responsibly....

It sure would make them go to sleep easier now wouldn't it

 

[princessmom29]

I am going to have to agree with pp's here who say that they do not see anything wrong. I think that parents who are open about alcohol raise childern who see no mystery in the "forbidden fruit" and do not end up binge drinking ect in their teen years. If they see a parent with a healthy relationship to alcohol, who knows when they have had enough and drinks responsibly they are much more likely to model that behavior and less likely to "go wild." Teen binge drinking and alcoholism is much,much less common in Europe than the US b/c children are taught from an early age that alcohol is nothing special or mystical, and are how to handle alcohol responsibly. I think that is a major failing in alcohol education in the US. Telling a child that alcohol is bad and never to drick ect, is clearly not an effective education program, especialy when they know that a parent drinks.

 

[delmar411]

the only thing that disturbed me from the scene OP described is the pushing of the taste on the girl. No means no, whatever the situation and the father is crossing the line even if he meant no harm. Unintended consequences and all.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

"Morally wrong" How so?

I view encouraging your children to break the law as immoral. If he was encouraging her to smoke marijuana would that be okay too? I mean lots of people also think that smoking marijana should be legal.

To the OP, I think he's a terrible parent and I wouldn't go back around them.

 

[cheriemek]

When I was a kid, my dad always had a beer with dinner. If I was thirsty, I would ask to have a sip of my dad's beer. I never had more than a few sips, and when I was a teen, I didn't want to pay someone to buy beer for me because beer was no big deal. I'm Catholic, and kids have a tiny bit of wine at Mass.

It's a tough call. Times are different now. We want kids to understand that alcohol can be a dangerous thing, as well as a part of everyday society.

 

[dawnbu40]

"Morally wrong" How so?

So its ok for parents to encourage drinking? Wow! What other illegal behaviors should they encourage?

 

[mom2prettyprincess]

Please do not tell my 15 YO DD this! We live in WI.

Actually, most establishments (if not all) in WI will not put their liquor licenses at risk by allowing a parent to let a minor have alcohol.

This really applies to "at home" situations.

Actually, I have been to many establishments in Wisconsin that will and do sell beer or wine to parents that are allowing their children to drink, even the chain restuarants. It is allowed by law. My bff and her husband own a couple of establishments in Wisconsin and many times that I have been up to help them on open of deer season there are lots of dads or even moms for that matter buying alcohol for their children. So it really isn't a matter of putting their liquor license at risk, because it is allowed by law. If the parent wasn't there then yes of course that would be putting it at risk by serving to a minor. But not all that often do you see the parent bring in a 12 year old and get them a beer. It is usually the high school aged or even the in between the 18-21 age.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

How is this on the budget board???

My parents were totally open about drinking with me (as we are with our children) and it helped me to learn moderation...and now I so rarely have an alcoholic beverage I consider myself as a non-drinker. We don't offer the kids (3 &5) drinks, but if they ask we let them have a taste...as long as it isn't something fruity they show no interest. OK, unless you count using orange flavored vodka on a rag for DS' teething when he was an infant.

OP, why is it so wrong to serve non-alcoholic drinks in speciality glasses??? this could be a good thing and teach that you can still have fun without the alcohol.

 

[Bill and Jen]

I think all these posters saying its no big deal are wrong! A parent encouraging a child is morally wrong and illegal. Is there anything you can do? Probably not but I would avoid them and I sure wouldn't let my kids around them!

Abiding the law in no way equals morally right. On the same note breaking the law does not automatically equals morally wrong.

I am sure everyone is aware that segragation was a law, so I assume that at that time it was morally right, and of course now it against the law, so it is now morally wrong ONLY becuase it is against the law?

Look up Lawrence Kohlberg's Six stages of moral development. I bet you might learn a thing or 2.

 

[Tink_fanatic]

Not to start a huge debate, but how come I can send my 18 year old to war but he can't drink a beer legally until he's 21? I mean, this is how it's been for quite awhile but I think that's where the binge drinking in college comes from. "Oh I'm not 'allowed' until I'm 21, so I'll drink all I can until I am legal".

That was a big thing my high school class was fighting for...you could send us across seas to die but we can't handle alcohol? We can put ourselves in debt but we can't handle alcohol? What sense does that make?

Only 14 states and the District of Colombia have outright bans on underage alchhol consumption. In 17 states, there are no minor consumption laws in private homes. In 19 states, there are specific situations in which minor consumption is allowed, usually limited to when the alcohol is served by the child's legal guardian.

Regardless, America's idiotic alcohol rules are why underage drinking is a problem.

I agree with you there, alot of my younger family members are like, what's the stigma behind it? What's so good about it that it's illegal for us to know what's going on?

I view encouraging your children to break the law as immoral. If he was encouraging her to smoke marijuana would that be okay too? I mean lots of people also think that smoking marijana should be legal. Agreed, I do think it should be legal.

To the OP, I think he's a terrible parent and I wouldn't go back around them.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

I'm sorry but I'm not sure what kind of tangent some of you people are getting off into. The OP wasn't talking about segregation, wans't talking about 18 year olds going off to war, wasn't aren't talking about having a sip of wine with your dinner and wasn't talking about bars getting their liquor liscense taken away. The topic was a father encouraging his 13 year old CHILD to consume whiskey. There are certainly some gray areas in concern to underage drinking, but I can't see how this is one of them.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

For those of you who keep stating it is illegal, in most states it is NOT illegal for a parent to give their child alcohol. In some states, it is only allowed in private homes, and other states allow it in restaurants.

I agree with the other posters who say the problems with binge drinking and such are the result of making alcohol taboo. Don't make it a forbidden fruit. That only increases teens' and young adults' desire to consume it.

 

[kevschickee]

I understand that and it was a sip not like it was the bottle. I guess its not a huge deal to me. I would beok if my kid tried a sip here and there

 

[Bill and Jen]

I'm sorry but I'm not sure what kind of tangent some of you people are getting off into. The OP wasn't talking about segregation, wans't talking about 18 year olds going off to war, wasn't aren't talking about having a sip of wine with your dinner and wasn't talking about bars getting their liquor liscense taken away. The topic was a father encouraging his 13 year old CHILD to consume whiskey. There are certainly some gray areas in concern to underage drinking, but I can't see how this is one of them.

So most of Europe is plain wrong? I don't see how you can make a blanket statement like that. In many countries there is no such thing as underage drinking.

And it was a sip of whiskey not a 4 fingered shot, so to try and say there is a difference between a sip of wine and a sip of whiskey seems like a strange judment call.

When people start to condem or defend something (anything) based on illogical and fallacy laced logic, I like to point it out. As I have lurked on these boards for a bit I got fed up with seeing self rightoues and preachy posters so when I see it now I like to point it out.

Maybe I am mistaken but it seemed to me that the vast majority of outrage in this thread was about how it was morally wrong to break the law.

For all that being said, I think that the father forcing thier child to take a sip was wrong, however, not for the reasons I have seen in this thread.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

So most of Europe is plain wrong? I don't see how you can make a blanket statement like that. In many countries there is no such thing as underage drinking.

And it was a sip of whiskey not a 4 fingered shot, so to try and say there is a difference between a sip of wine and a sip of whiskey seems like a strange judment call.

When people start to condem or defend something (anything) based on illogical and fallacy laced logic, I like to point it out. As I have lurked on these boards for a bit I got fed up with seeing self rightoues and preachy posters so when I see it now I like to point it out.

Maybe I am mistaken but it seemed to me that the vast majority of outrage in this thread was about how it was morally wrong to break the law.

For all that being said, I think that the father forcing thier child to take a sip was wrong, however, not for the reasons I have seen in this thread.

I don't live in Europe and neither does the OPs family. Why does everybody keep bringing that up? I could care less what they do in Europe. It's a nice place to visit, but we don't live there. And I'm not being preachy or self-righteous. I am the mother of a 13 year old girl. We do not offer her wine nor whiskey or any other alcoholic beverages. It is against the law and I, personally, would find it morally reprehensible to put MY child in the position. What exactly you find illogical about that, I just don't know.

 

[Bill and Jen]

It is against the law and I, personally, would find it morally reprehensible to put MY child in the position. What exactly you find illogical about that, I just don't know.

What I find illogical is that you say that breaking the law is what is morally reprehensible, not the act of giving the drink.

I'm sorry but I'm not sure what kind of tangent some of you people are getting off into. The OP wasn't talking about segregation...

I find categorically stating that breaking the law is morally reprehensible an illogical argument.

This is why I pointed out that laws are not the reason to set your moral compass. In most cases the 2 overlap. I pointed out 1 out of many, many, many, examples where the law was not morally sound and I would say it was morally reprehensible to obey the law.

Once again, I think the father was wrong but for very different reason then it was against the law.