OT - would you complain to the school? UPDATED

[pantherlj]

DD is 7 in 2nd grade. Right before Halloween (maybe Halloween day?), she said in Music class they watched a movie. Well, I didn't think too much about it - it was a holiday of sorts. She came home yesterday and said they watched another movie in Music. They only go to music once every 6 days. I guess one movie once in a while doesn't bother me but 2 in a row? And, I didn't find the movie appropriate - The Nightmare before Christmas. She was rather upset about how Santa was treated. It has been a long time since I have seen the movie. We own it but it is own we have choosen not to show our girls yet.

I have a voicemail in to the principal but am now questioning it. Should I have gone to the music teacher first? Guess I can't change that action now

UPDATE:

I spoke with the principal. She called back within one hour of my message. I told her my concerns about watching videos 2 classes in a row and about my concerns with "The Nightmare Before Christmas". She said she would look into it and call me back. She left me a message about 1/2 hour later. She is a new principal so I was glad to see how she responded. The music teacher said The Nightmare Before Christmas was a fun "just because" movie for the holiday. She said "Hercules" was shown in parts for the music and tied into the lesson plan. I have never see that movie but have never thought it to be musical?

The principal said all movies must be approved and checked out in the media center. She said they can't show Disney movies (Hmmmmm?) and movies must be G. 2 strikes. Hercules is Disney isn't it? And The Nightmare Before Christmas is PG. I wonder what the librarian will say.

I am glad I called. I don't want to be "that mom" but I think the Principal needs to know what is going on in her school. She is the boss of the teachers. If a customer has a concern about one my employees, I would want them to let me know about it.
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[HeatherC]

NOPE...I think you did the right thing. Lately the schools have been driving me crazy with their ridiculous rules...then they go do something like that. First of all....what does that have to do with music? They should be having them listen to some classical pieces or something.

My kids are now 10, 8 and 5. So far we have been so lucky with teachers. But the rules are crazy. They are pushing the healthy snack thing. Great, right. But then they go serve hot dogs and chicken nugget junk everyday at lunch. Plus...no more recess once you hit 5th grade. That means less exercise. Then a friend of mine sends her son with an oatmeal raisin cookie for snack and the teacher (4th grade) took it away because it wasn't healthy. She certainly called the school.

Then my son comes home yesterday and said one of the teachers on the playground told him that if he wore a baseball cap again, she would take his recess away from him for a couple of days. What? This is not in the building.....it is at recess outside? Plus...he is the type of kid who is very quiet and never in trouble. I told him to wear it and tell her to call me. If I hear this happening again, you can bet I'll be calling the principal.
I understand rules are for a reason, but I do think sometimes the schools are taking too much of the parenting away from parents.

I think you have every right to call on this. After all, it is our tax money that is helping support the schools. Plus, more parents need to voice their opinions...both good and bad.

Best of luck to you!
HeatherC

 

[daisyduck123]

I personally, would not be calling the school because one of my children saw a video in Music class two days in a row. There are/will be bigger battles to deal with later on & I would not want the principal to be hearing from me due to something like this. Your name will get around that you called to complain about a video.

Also, because I am a teacher, I know that whenever we have a substitute for Music class...the students usually watch video. No big deal to me. And about the title of the film....if it's approved by the county, there's really nothing you can do about it.

 

[declansdad]

No matter what the issue, I would contact the teacher first.

 

[krismom]

Yes, it would upset me as well. And having / being a substitute is no excuse- my daughter had a sub all the time last year that the kids called "Mrs. Video"! I have subbed in many subjects / grade levels and you should always be prepared with something, I always brought my lesson plan bag o'tricks- that included games, crafts, etc. The teachers shouldn't be able to just put on a video when they need a break or to get report cards filled out. That's what their prep periods are for. My kids watch videos if the weather is bad- in the auditorium and I thhink that's plenty... it's usually all winter long.

Let us know what the principal thought...

 

[Becky2005]

It wouldn't bother me but my kids always watch musicals in music class. Things they don't get to see here, so it's all good. I can't remember what ages they saw these at though (I have one who is already through, while 2 other ones are still there & 1 to go, so it's all a blur if it was in 1st grade or 5th grade that they saw a particular movie.)

They have seen The Sound of Music but the thing is they don't have time to watch it all in one go, so it's broken up.

I want to say West Side Story but I'm not sure because I don't picture that being elementary school level but ?? (I know *I* have never seen it but somehow DD HAS, so my only conclusion was it had to be during school one time).

I can't remember all of the other ones. I think Mary Poppins may have been one. Although I don't think Nightmare before Christmas fits in with music. I do know that if I think it's PG-13? (I want to say PG but I'm pretty sure my kids have seen some PG movies at school -- I can never remember all the ratings of the kids movies since not all of them are G), we have to sign a permission slip. I even had to sign a permission slip for my 7th grader to watch Frankenstein in Language Arts class this year. I know there was another one when she was younger too, it was based on the book they were reading and they were doing a project on it though. It wasn't a we have nothing better to do so let's play this movie.

Otherwise, if we have 1/2 day before a holiday type of thing, a lot of times movies are played. I'm thinking tomorrow my kids will probably end up with movies (it's 1/2 day).

I'm sure your concerns will be addressed though. If you have concerns it's good to speak up.

 

[HGD24]

Nightmare Before Christmas is rated PG, meaning that parental guidance is suggested because "some material may not be suitable for children". That to me means that this teacher should not have been showing this movie to 7 year olds and I would also take issue with it.

As for the title being approved by the county, a parent won't know that until they call and inquire so I say, go for it, call the Principal and get to the bottom of the story.

 

[SusanMomOf2]

I complained once last year to the teacher because what they taught didn't coincide with my Christian values. Something about rainbows, pots of gold, and leprechauns but no mention of Noah's Ark... I don't know why it bothered me so much. (Nothing against pots of gold, but I'd have liked the other mentioned as well.) After school, I taught my daughter at home about Noah and the ark (for the 10th time), and wrote the teacher a letter. Her teacher went to church with us (and sympathized with me) but didn't have any control over what was taught. I thought, at least, my concerns should he heard by someone. I don't know who would have been the best recipient of my little letter. Teacher, principal, school board? Anyway... I see where you're coming from. First of all, yes, the limited music time should be spent on learning music, and also, maybe a heard up notice about what movies they will show would be good. I've never seen that movie, but I can imagine some 7 year olds might not like it. Maybe next time, write or call the teacher, but don't feel bad about calling the principal. At least you did something.

 

[wrldpossibility]

I have a 2nd grader too. I would have been upset, although more about the choice of video than the fact that they watched one. PG may be fine by some parents, but I personally take it on a case by case basis, so would have wanted to know the title ahead of time. NBeforeC would NOT have been ok with me...I know it would have upset my DS.

And I agree with others...when they do watch a video, it should have something to do with music or musicals.

As far as what to do, I would have contacted the principal directly about the video choice (to see if this title is approved, etc), but I would have left the music teacher a message letting him or her know of my actions, so they are aware. Good luck with this!

BTW, for the teacher who said not to rock the boat about little issues, I agree in part...I do know parents with that "reputation" for complaining in the school, and they are not appreciated. So I would pick and choose my complaints. But if you are positively active in the school on a regular basis, I don't think the admin. or teaching staff will think badly of you for one or two complaints. It shows you are on top of things and involved.

 

[wrldpossibility]

I complained once last year to the teacher because what they taught didn't coincide with my Christian values. Something about rainbows, pots of gold, and leprechauns but no mention of Noah's Ark... I don't know why it bothered me so much. (Nothing against pots of gold, but I'd have liked the other mentioned as well.) After school, I taught my daughter at home about Noah and the ark (for the 10th time), and wrote the teacher a letter. Her teacher went to church with us (and sympathized with me) but didn't have any control over what was taught. I thought, at least, my concerns should he heard by someone. I don't know who would have been the best recipient of my little letter. Teacher, principal, school board? Anyway... I see where you're coming from. First of all, yes, the limited music time should be spent on learning music, and also, maybe a heard up notice about what movies they will show would be good. I've never seen that movie, but I can imagine some 7 year olds might not like it. Maybe next time, write or call the teacher, but don't feel bad about calling the principal. At least you did something.

Not to hijack the thread, but I found this post interesting. I'm a Christian too, but I would never expect the story of Noah to be taught (assuming you are in a public school). In fact, if it WERE taught in conjunction with a study on leprechuans, I may dislike that, as it would lump a Biblical story in with other myths and legends (like the St. Patrick's Day stuff they were studying). Many would agree that it is a myth, but that's exactly why we have the sep. of church and state, right? So that that isn't decided by the school district.

I'm happy to teach my religious beliefs at home. I do understand your desire to have your voice heard though, and I'm glad you had a teacher who listened.

 

[pantherlj]

UPDATE:

I spoke with the principal. She called back within one hour of my message. I told her my concerns about watching videos 2 classes in a row and about my concerns with "The Nightmare Before Christmas". She said she would look into it and call me back. She left me a message about 1/2 hour later. She is a new principal so I was glad to see how she responded. The music teacher said The Nightmare Before Christmas was a fun "just because" movie for the holiday. She said "Hercules" was shown in parts for the music and tied into the lesson plan. I have never see that movie but have never thought it to be musical?

The principal said all movies must be approved and checked out in the media center. She said they can't show Disney movies (Hmmmmm?) and movies must be G. 2 strikes. Hercules is Disney isn't it? And The Nightmare Before Christmas is PG. I wonder what the librarian will say.

I am glad I called. I don't want to be "that mom" but I think the Principal needs to know what is going on in her school. She is the boss of the teachers. If a customer has a concern about one my employees, I would want them to let me know about it.

 

[wrldpossibility]

You have a good principal! So do we, and I feel so lucky! Sounds like the music teacher may have brought his own movies in and not checked them out of the library. Both those movies are Disney, and as you said, at least one is PG. There is another non-Disney Hercules, but there's no way it's G. Maybe he only showed a clip from it, that tied to the lesson? That I could understand better. I'd ask the principal if those titles are indeed approved. I wouldn't comment further on the fact that they watch a lot of movies unless it continues to be pattern.

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

I probably would have tried the teacher first but don't see anything wrong with calling the principal. I would have a BIG problem with the showing of the Nightmare Before Christmas to my 7 year old. I have a 7 year old son that could have handled it just fine but that's MY decision as a parent regarding a PG movie. My 7 year old neice would have been very upset by the movie.

 

[SusanMomOf2]

I wasn't looking for all my religion to be taught in the public classroom when I wrote that letter. I remember growing up and being taught about the Roman and Greek gods (and other myths, legends, and gods) in high school but never about God. I sometimes wish that the Bible would be treated as literature just like other things are. And the thing that got me was that of all the things my daughter remembered about the rainbow was the pot of gold, and I was hoping she'd remember all the times we talked about Noah's ark. Now, I'm sitting there trying to tell her the REAL story behind the rainbow, and it seems like her school work had her thinking the mythologies were real. The teacher had placed little footprints of a leprechaun going through a doorway in the classroom, and the kids were sort of taught that there had been a little man in the classroom that morning. (This was all a part of the St. Patricks Day lesson.) If they can teach that the little man is real, can't they also say, "But there is another story about the rainbow that some of you may know..." and lead into the ark story? I'd love it if the entire public world out there was Jesus-centered (not going to happen, I know). But I really don't like other junk (yet the Irish myth, to me, is fun and imaginative) infiltrating my daughter's mind when they won't let the Bible squeeze in here and there. I have to give her a reality check from time to time, and more often that I think should happen. Oh well... at least I said something. Nothing is going to change though, which is why, like you said, I also find it so important to teach what you believe at home and equip our kids with the spiritual armor.

Not to hijack the thread, but I found this post interesting. I'm a Christian too, but I would never expect the story of Noah to be taught (assuming you are in a public school). In fact, if it WERE taught in conjunction with a study on leprechuans, I may dislike that, as it would lump a Biblical story in with other myths and legends (like the St. Patrick's Day stuff they were studying). Many would agree that it is a myth, but that's exactly why we have the sep. of church and state, right? So that that isn't decided by the school district.

I'm happy to teach my religious beliefs at home. I do understand your desire to have your voice heard though, and I'm glad you had a teacher who listened.

 

[NotUrsula]

What do rainbows have to do with the story of the Ark? My mind may be going from old age, but I don't remember any rainbows in Genesis. (OK, I double-checked and found the rainbow reference, but I still think that you're misreading the pot of gold story. While the rainbow will supposedly lead you to a pot of gold, nowhere does the legend say that the rainbow exists because of the presence of the gold.)

The Irish story of the pot of gold isn't about magic, it is about being made foolish by greed. In Irish folklore the Wee Folk are always tricking greedy humans, and having one fall for that story would make a particularly fine trick, as it is utterly impossible to follow a rainbow to its end.

BTW, the reason that the Bible is not often taught as literature pre-college is that doing so would cause an uproar among Christian parents. When you read the Bible as literature you must criticize it and discuss the changes and reinterpretations that it has gone through over the course of centuries, and doing so requires accepting the premise that it was written by man. Many Christians, especially those who belong to more conservative sects, find that idea offensive.

 

[Madi100]

I personally think that before you called the principal you should have called and talked to the teacher. The main reason being is that you talked to your child and got the story and it may be different from the teacher's. What if the teacher was showing one small part of the movie to explain something? What better way to teach than to show an example of something that kids love - cartoons? Also, you have now gone above the teacher's head. My husband runs a business. If you have a problem, and you go and talk to him about it, he is more than willing to make the situation right. When you go over his head and write a letter to the main company and deal with it that way, he is so much less likely to want to help you.

I would have no problem going to our principal. I am very close to our principal, and it's only because I have gotten myself very involved with our school. Most of the kids know me, and all of the teachers know me. If there is a problem, I feel comfortable going and talking to them. I have made it very important to me to be available and be "known" at our school so I know what is going on in the lives of my children. I too would be very concerned if my child watched Hercules in school. We used to own that movie, and I got rid of it when I had children, because it think it is violent.

Hopefully your situation is resolved with little conflict.

 

[wrldpossibility]

I wasn't looking for all my religion to be taught in the public classroom when I wrote that letter. I remember growing up and being taught about the Roman and Greek gods (and other myths, legends, and gods) in high school but never about God. I sometimes wish that the Bible would be treated as literature just like other things are. And the thing that got me was that of all the things my daughter remembered about the rainbow was the pot of gold, and I was hoping she'd remember all the times we talked about Noah's ark. Now, I'm sitting there trying to tell her the REAL story behind the rainbow, and it seems like her school work had her thinking the mythologies were real. The teacher had placed little footprints of a leprechaun going through a doorway in the classroom, and the kids were sort of taught that there had been a little man in the classroom that morning. (This was all a part of the St. Patricks Day lesson.) If they can teach that the little man is real, can't they also say, "But there is another story about the rainbow that some of you may know..." and lead into the ark story? I'd love it if the entire public world out there was Jesus-centered (not going to happen, I know). But I really don't like other junk (yet the Irish myth, to me, is fun and imaginative) infiltrating my daughter's mind when they won't let the Bible squeeze in here and there. I have to give her a reality check from time to time, and more often that I think should happen. Oh well... at least I said something. Nothing is going to change though, which is why, like you said, I also find it so important to teach what you believe at home and equip our kids with the spiritual armor.

Well written. I see your point now.

And the point about the Bible being taught as lit is exactly what I was trying to hit upon. I'm a more liberal Christian, so I don't mind seeing the Bible studied and debated as lit, and getting its "fair time" in classrooms, but I know many people more conservative than me who would.

 

[pantherlj]

Another update .....

The musical teacher left me a voicemail message. She didn't sound too happy with me She said she wished I had called her instead of making it into something bigger than it needed to be. I can see her point to some degree but even in hindsight, I don't think I would have thought to call her instead of the principal since she is a speciality teacher, not the every day teacher.

She told me she sent home a note earlier in the year with a list of movies they would be watching and left an automated voice message about the Nightmare before Christmas. The message she left was about the kids being able to dress up for Halloween in her class not a movie. I check my child's folder daily - never got a thing. She said the voicemail let parents know they were going to watch song segments of the nightmare before Christmas movie. My child said that she played the whole movie and actually skipped through one of the songs. . She said Hercules was because of an emergency substitute she had to bring in that day. Doesn't match with what the principal told me about it being part of lesson plans

She asked that I call her back so that she can accomidate my child because she would love to be able to teach her music. Teach her music? Seems like all she does is have them watch movies

So, I guess I need to decide if I call the principal back or the teacher. I don't want her taking this out on my child now.

I guess I would think they would need consent of some sort to show a PG movie if the district only allows G movies?

Thanks for listening. Still not sure what my next step should be.

 

[pantherlj]

I personally think that before you called the principal you should have called and talked to the teacher. The main reason being is that you talked to your child and got the story and it may be different from the teacher's. What if the teacher was showing one small part of the movie to explain something? What better way to teach than to show an example of something that kids love - cartoons? Also, you have now gone above the teacher's head. My husband runs a business. If you have a problem, and you go and talk to him about it, he is more than willing to make the situation right. When you go over his head and write a letter to the main company and deal with it that way, he is so much less likely to want to help you.

I would have no problem going to our principal. I am very close to our principal, and it's only because I have gotten myself very involved with our school. Most of the kids know me, and all of the teachers know me. If there is a problem, I feel comfortable going and talking to them. I have made it very important to me to be available and be "known" at our school so I know what is going on in the lives of my children. I too would be very concerned if my child watched Hercules in school. We used to own that movie, and I got rid of it when I had children, because it think it is violent.

Hopefully your situation is resolved with little conflict.

Wish I had read this earlier today I have updated below. I do feel bad for not getting the story from the teacher first. I still wonder what is going on though because it is very different than what my child is saying happened.

 

[Gillian]

Thr Nightmare before Christmas is pretty scary! Yes, it's a musical, but really not appropriate for 7 year olds. Although, it does have Danny Elfman music, which almost makes it right for everyone.

I'm not sure how I feel about the Bible being taught in public schools in any way. Probably the teachers would have to seek out other relious writings and discuss them in class as well. It just doesn't seem the right forum to me. It Most kids around here go for some kind of religious education and learn about it at home.

But, as was mentioned, school work is often a good jumping off point for other discussions. And that's why I'm glad we don't have a DVD player in the car. Well, of course I'd like one, but it forces us to have conversations in the car on the way home from school.