OT~ Would this bother you? alittle venting here

[ampc3]

Ok I am probably over reacting (My Dh tends to say that to me alot)I am also just venting
Ok so this morning I get a phone call from my neighbor to ask if I can take her DD to school b/c she missed the bus, sure no problem (my kids don't ride the bus in the am)

I go out to start the car and my battery is dead! so I send the kids back to the girls house who I am taking and have them ask her mom to take them etc... The girls Aunt says she will take them, ok thank you so much!

So when the kids come home from school today they tell me that the girls Aunt was smoking while she took them to school. I guess she had the windows open and DID ASK if they minded!?

ok here is my beef... We are a non smoking family, I detest smoke. If someone wants to poison there body then that is their choice. However I do not want to be around it NOR do I want my kids around it.

First I thought my gosh this lady can't wait the 10 min to get the kids to school to light up! Then I was like yes, I guess that was nice she asked them if they minded, but my kids said they had no idea how to answer b/c they didn't want to be rude! What adult asks a child if they mind if they smoke? If she is asking isn't that b/c she knows somewhere that this is wrong to do? Like I said I probably am over reacting, this was a one time thing for her to drive them. I didn't nor will I say something, but it just sortof erked me!
Would this have botherd you?

 

[middleofamerica]

I totally agree that she should have just waited the ten minutes and not exposed the children to the smoke. Yes, that would have totally ticked me off!

 

[mommytobug]

I agree with your feelings about it. I probably would have not let them ride anyway. Her car and her choices even though they disgust us. Think about it. What are you really going to say or do? You cant tell her not to smoke in her own car. But, for the record, I would be upset and would have expected otherwise. Dont let them ride again. They can go to school late or not at all.

 

[deedeetoo]

I have to say your overreacting.

We are non-smokers and have always taught our children that cigarette smoking is bad, they should never do it, etc.

But come on. This woman was doing you a favor and the kids were only with her for 10 minutes. They aren't going to contract lung cancer from that. She was smoking in her own car. Last time I checked that wasn't against the law. I think this is an excellent opportunity for teaching the kids how addicting cigarette smoking is: "See once you start smoking you can't even go for a ten minute car ride without wanting to have one. Do you want to ever be like that?"

 

[Feralpeg]

I think you are over-reacting. I'm a non-smoker and don't like to be around it, but the lady did you a favor. Yes, she probably could have waited, but she did ask if it was okay and she probably doesn't think much about it since she smokes. Let it go!

 

[scorpad99]

OK coming from a ex-smokers perspective, I also have a friend who sometimes in a glitch will drive my kids home from school (if my car isnt running or I`m running late) and the school is less than 5 minutes from my house. She smokes in her car even though my DD tells her she has asthma and asks her not to................but in a jam whatelse could I do? Leave her at school?, Make her walk home alone at 11? It is rude, should she do it with other ppls kids in her car, NO, but it is her car, and mostly on a regular circumstances, I wouldnt allow my kids in her car or home for that matter.
JMO

 

[MSSANDRA]

I would write if off as a learning experence but not allow them to ride wtih her again. My DS can not tolerate smoke but he is older and would have told her. I would not have expected your children to know how to handle the situation but this gives you a chance to discuss it with them. The learning experence .

 

[daisyduck123]

I would've minded too.

Boy, smoking in a car with children (esp. other people's kids) really does say something about what type of person she is. IMO (a low-life). I really do lose respect for people when I find out they smoke. It's just such an awful, disgusting habit.

 

[ampc3]

well like I said initially I probably was/am over reacting. I never had any intensions of saying anything. I was simply venting.

It irked me that the lady couldn't go 10 min without lighting up! And yes she did do me a favor but ONLY b/c she sortof had to if she wanted her kid to get to school too lol!
Since my battery was dead.
Yes using this as a learning experience is exactly what we did, both on what they could have said and smoking in general.
Thanks for letting me vent

 

[maxiesmom]

I would've minded too.

Boy, smoking in a car with children (esp. other people's kids) really does say something about what type of person she is. IMO (a low-life). I really do lose respect for people when I find out they smoke. It's just such an awful, disgusting habit.

Just because someone smokes does not mean they are a low life. My mom has smoked from the age of 16, and cannot stop. It is an awful addiction! What a horrible thing to say!

I think your comment is horrible and disgusting as well!

 

[mrsg00fy]

I also detest smoke and I have two children who I don't want near smokers. That being said....I think that you are way overreacting. If I understand this correctly, we are talking about 10 minutes here. The woman did you a favor. Chalk it up to a lesson learned....and if you are ever in that bind again....you are better armed to make the decision as to whether to accept the offer of a ride for your kids or not.

 

[ampc3]

everybody keeps saying "what a favor she did for me" first off , she called me in the am to take HER dd to school b/c SHE missed the bus. So yes she did end up doing the favor but only b/c HER dd needed to get to school too. I could have called and SHOULD have called others to do ME the favor, but just sent my kids with her. LESSON LEARNED... And yes it was only 10 min that is my point! SHE couldn't go 10 min without lighting up in front of the kids!

 

[iluvdizknee]

Everyone is forgetting the bottom line here, yes it is her car, yes she was doing her a favor, but THERE WERE KIDS IN THE CAR. YOU DON'T SMOKE AROUND CHILDREN, YOURS OR ANYONE ELSE'S PERIOD!!!!.
It is a rule of smokers, or should be. Children should not be exposed to smoke if at all possible. 10 mins is not a long time for goodness sake!

 

[Hannathy]

Just because someone smokes does not mean they are a low life. My mom has smoked from the age of 16, and cannot stop. It is an awful addiction! What a horrible thing to say!

I think your comment is horrible and disgusting as well!

I agree with you there. Even if you don't like it they are doing something perfectly legal. Many fine and up standing people are and have been smokers, believe me it takes a lot more than smoking to make you a low life.


I think the OP is over reacting. 10 minutes in a care with open windows is not a danger to your children for heavens sake.

 

[dogluva]

If you went over and started yelling at her, then you'd be over reacting. However, you are just venting about it so you are not overreacting. I would be mad as well. Light up after the kids get out of the car.

My son's boyscout leader smoked on camping trips there and back. He told me after he stopped going. I was upset but not enough to call him up and scream. After all, it was a volunteer position but still, not much of role model behavior.

My father died of lung cancer when I was twelve. I saw him wither away to 75 pounds. I don't ever want my children around second hand smoke so I can see why you would be upset.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I think it was inconsiderate, but nothing to be angry or upset over.

 

[disneynewbee]

I would also have been very upset. I have a 4yo dd who was born with lung disease and has had a part of her lung removed she also has asthma. If someone asked her if she minded if they smoke she wouldn't say yes she's a kid. I don't smoke but if I did I would never smoke around anyones child including my own. She didn't know if any of these children had medical issues that are affected by cigarette smoke and asking a child is not good enough. Kids don't understand the severety of this stuff. Also I have to say again what is 10 minutes out of your life, she could have waited. I don't think badly of smokers but I do think badly of people who expose children to smoke whether it be their own or others.

 

[daisyduck123]

Just because someone smokes does not mean they are a low life. My mom has smoked from the age of 16, and cannot stop. It is an awful addiction! What a horrible thing to say!

I think your comment is horrible and disgusting as well!

Ok sorry, you are right...that was not a nice thing to say.

Although the level of respect I have for someone does drop dramatically when I learn someone smokes. It is just soooooo disgusting.

 

[Just(donald)Ducky]

Speaking from a healthcare perspective (I'm a respiratory therapist), it's not just smoking around kids that can be harmful. there is new research that says that the chemicals from ciggarette smoke can stick to clothing, and after up to two hours can be inhaled and cause an asthma attack.

Furthermore, smoking inside a car is the WORST POSSIBLE TIME TO SMOKE PERIOD. Windows up or down. Enclosed space = more exposure.

Now, speaking as a smoker (yes, I'm a respiratory therapist who smokes), I can honestly say that I have never smoked in the car when children were present.

Even when we were stranded on the side of the road, in whiteout conditions, in -30 degree weather. The wind would whip snow off the ground, it would hit your pant leg, immediatly thaw due to body heat, but then re-freeze, then thaw, then re-freeze etc. etc. etc.

My Dfi and I stuck our upper bodies out the window and smoked, while the kids were under blankets in the back of the mini-van. Even just getting that much out of the car makes a difference.

Furthermore, 10 feet is the rule. After 10 feet most of the chemicals that can cause asthma attacks or do damage have been diluted into the atmosphere. So don't sit and hold your kids and say "It's ok, we are outside...."

Yeah. I'd have chewed that lady up and down the block.

 

[dogluva]

Speaking from a healthcare perspective (I'm a respiratory therapist), it's not just smoking around kids that can be harmful. there is new research that says that the chemicals from ciggarette smoke can stick to clothing, and after up to two hours can be inhaled and cause an asthma attack.

Furthermore, smoking inside a car is the WORST POSSIBLE TIME TO SMOKE PERIOD. Windows up or down. Enclosed space = more exposure.

Now, speaking as a smoker (yes, I'm a respiratory therapist who smokes), I can honestly say that I have never smoked in the car when children were present.

Even when we were stranded on the side of the road, in whiteout conditions, in -30 degree weather. The wind would whip snow off the ground, it would hit your pant leg, immediatly thaw due to body heat, but then re-freeze, then thaw, then re-freeze etc. etc. etc.

My Dfi and I stuck our upper bodies out the window and smoked, while the kids were under blankets in the back of the mini-van. Even just getting that much out of the car makes a difference.

Furthermore, 10 feet is the rule. After 10 feet most of the chemicals that can cause asthma attacks or do damage have been diluted into the atmosphere. So don't sit and hold your kids and say "It's ok, we are outside...."

Yeah. I'd have chewed that lady up and down the block.

Please stop smoking. As a respiratory therapist, you must see first hand what it is like to die from Lung cancer.

Ironically, my father was also a respiratory therapist. He didn't quit either but I wish he had. He would have been able to witness me graduate from High school and college, gave me away at my wedding and most, importantly, meet his 12 grandchildren.

By the way, my father smoked 3 packs a day and he was the furthest from a low life there ever was.