OT-why do i want another child?

[Honeystar120608]

I have a 4 yr old ds, and a 3yr old dd. They are 14 months apart, will be 2 grades apart, and for the past 2 yrs I have been wanting another. Our house really can't house another person. It's 3 bedrooms (duplex). We already feel cramped. DH is dead set against it, he wants a more secure job (works for a US company), he wants to buy a bigger house. Wants more money.
Dh really doesn't want another. Lately he has been having irregular heart beats, was hospitalized and is now on Meds. He seems to be doing great now, but I can't really bring this up. AND it's been 2 yrs of him saying no. I'd feel bad just stopping birth control, which I have come close to doing, but I just cant.
I just have nowhere to go. DW really is a great distraction for me. But I can't always be planning trips to DW. I wish I didn't want another... Im exhausted of the thoughts always lingering..I trully am. And our DS starts kindergarten in Sept. WE have no baby stuff left.
I just needed somewhere to go and whine basically. Im a stay at home mom, we manage and obviously if we can afford DW, we are fine financially. I just feel like if I dont do something about having another child, Im always going to regret it. I feel like someone is missing. I feel like I was meant to be a mother to more children. And believe me, if I could just turn this feeling off, i would. As much as I long for another child, I know it would be much easier not having one. in pretty much every aspect. But those things dont feed the soul.
And DH, he's sick of hearing about it. His answer's no...ive gotten mad at him, cried, ignored him, yelled, nothing has worked. He said maybe in a few years. But to me... ds will be in grade 3, dd starting school. That's when I get ME back.
I dunno what to do. I just really needed to go somewhere to talk. My Mom is a grandmother to 5 (my step sister has 3) and she says no more. Not that it really matters... but i can't talk to her about it.
My best friend just found out she is pregnant. ANd Im SO happy for her. She has a dd who is 2.5. I love them all dearly. But being around her pregnant... I just want to shake this feeling and give her her lime light kwim? I cant go to her and tell her how much I wish I was pregnant. My life trully doesn't suck, my kids are great, I love them ...but that is just more fuel to drive this force.

ACK! Sometimes I just want to go crazy and out of my head. I just dont know what to do with this feeling. Does anybody get me? ANy words of wisdom?

 

[disneynuts777]

I wish there was an anwser for you.
DH sounds like he really dead set against anymore. Do you really think that you could live the rest of your life if you went behind his back and stopped taking your BC and you did get pregnant?
Feel free to whine but try not to make it an addiction. You should feel blessed at the two healthy happy children that you have. Is there an underlying issue at the overwhelming need to have a third? No matter how old your children get they will always need you. I have two teen DD's and there is still nothing like getting a hug from your own Mom.
Have you thought about getting a part-time job when both the chilren are in school?
Get addicted to the Disboards. I happily roam here even when I am not plannng a trip.
Be happy for your friend. Share your advice and your own memories.

 

[c&m]

If there is no buy in from your DH to have a 3rd child, then maybe you should reconsider. If you do have a 3rd without him buying into it, you will most likely be taking care of the baby (plus your 2 older kids during the day) by yourself, no matter how tired you are from the late night feedings. The lack of sleep will cloud your thinking and feelings of resentment that you are doing all the work will set in. I have had friends who have had that happen to them. Some ended up divorcing, and some are in contentious, strained relationships. Not that I'm saying that this will really happen to you. Your DH may love and tend to the baby once it arrives. But I truly think you should listen to your DH's feelings on the matter. Your feelings DO matter too; the urge to have another because your other kids are growing up so fast is quite typical (I for one have felt those baby urges on many occasions throughout the years). I agree with the PP that you should find a part-time job or volunteer position to shift your attention to other things. Your children are getting older, getting easier to take care of, and you may have more time on your hands. Take those as blessings.

... ds will be in grade 3, dd starting school. That's when I get ME back.

I don't think you will really get the "ME" back. Having 3 kids would give you less time as they get older and participate in more sports and activities. I only have 2 and they already suck up a lot of my time with all the chauffeuring I do. I can't imagine juggling 3 kids and their activities like my SIL does (they have 3 teens). She has less time than ever because of their schedule demands. Weekends and evenings are never their own -- always about tournaments, practices, rehearsals, games, etc.

 

[Honeystar120608]

Thanks guys, I did wake up in a better place. It will always be in the back of my brain, but I do KNOW that the life we want, involves only 2 children. We want to travel, we want the extra money floating around, and I do want a part time job. But Not until dd goes to school in 2.5 years. DH knows that DW is sort of a fix for me and my baby craze. And he is really good about it saying as long as he has a job and we can afford it, we will go.
I didn't want anyone thinking I would get pregnant behind him. I said I would never do it. Yes, it has crossed my mind to stop bc, but I would never do it. Not without him on board.

to the pp, when you said my feelings matter too... That means a lot. There have been many of times where I just feel like he always has the final say in this matter. SO thank you!

And I do foresee volunteering at the kids school and time for driving them around and such... and 3 would add to that. I know. My step sister has 3 under 3 and I just can't imagine the life they have layed out for themselves. They have to move because they can't afford their rent.

ANyway, thank you very much, I was just in a tough spot last night, I get those moments... all in all I know IM happy, Im not sure if it's being a stay at home mom or what... my adult mind gets bored really fast.

Thanks guys!

 

[michelle1]

I'm 42 and my kids are 11 and 13 and I still feel sometimes like I should have had a third child. Our life now is hectic with all of the kids activities and we love to travel so I know 2 is the right number for us. I would have loved 3 just the same but I have many friends with 3 and it is alot different...I never see both parents together at their kid's sports because one is off with another one of the kids activities, there are many places that they don't travel to because it would require paying for an extra room..society caters to families of 4 for the most part. I'm sure you've heard all of the arguments! You won't believe how much busier your life gets once the kids are a little older but it's so much fun and nice to have some time for myself also.

 

[maiapapaya]

Honeystar, I was going to suggest volunteering somewhere working with children, but I see you already came up with that idea on your own. I have volunteered at my daughter's school in various capacities for the last three years. It is very rewarding. You get to participate in this very important part of your children's lives, plus the other kids are fantastic to work with (at least at my DD's school).

I'm glad you're feeling better today.

 

[hockeymom3]

Well I was in your shoes a couple years ago. My first two are 18 months apart and 1 year apart in school. When my youngest was almost 4 I started wanting another baby. My husband wasn't against the idea, but he also wasn't exactly for it either. Well, within a month I was pregnant with # 3. So we didn't have time to ponder over it anymore. People would say to me "you may regret not having a third, but you will never regret having a third" and for me, thats been true.

Sure life would have been easier at times - my son was just starting primary and I could have had days to myself (I was a SAHM too) to do something. There were no more bottles, cribs, diapers, night-time feedings. But who needs easy?? So 3 months after both kids started school, baby # 3 arrived just after Christmas.

He shared a room with us, now shares a room with his big brother and they LOVE it.

I wouldn't change things for the world!!!

My husband was laid off from a very secure job in September. It was a shock. We had just forked out thousands of dollars on a back yard, a wrap around deck, booked this Disney vacation. And despite all this, having # 3 makes very little impact on us financially. Sure he'll soon cost us thousands of dollars playing hockey and an extra plane ticket to Disney but he's worth it - I'm not giving him back!!

Its tough. Part of me says your husband will love having another one if it happens (although I don't know him! LOL) but its hard.

I don't envy that you have to make this decision - but I do know how it feels because I went through it. Whatever choice you make will be just fine!! Good luck

 

[hockeymom3]

I should also mention that when my baby was just a few months old I became a realtor - so anything is possible with 1, 2, 3 or even 4!!!

 

[SoNewToDisney!]

OP, you are not alone, I can't believe how hard deciding about #3 has been. The first two were no-brainers!

DH & I both go back & forth. Right now we are both kind of on the "yes" page which is scary. I also feel someone is missing at the dinner table but the thought of starting all over with a baby

But then, in a few years I'll be at the stage we are at now...I dunno..

 

[Bea]

I totally get where you are coming from. Our first two were no brainers. For years I was undecided on a 3rd (DH was on board, either way). I would get "the feeling" walking through baby cloth sections, and look at family pictures and know there was a face missing but I guess I just wasn't ready yet. So finally after years (and I do mean many of them...) we decided on a 3rd. There's 11 years between him and his oldest sibling, and 8 between him and our middle child. I wouldn't change a thing. He adds so much joy into all of our lives.

Like another poster said, "you won't regret having one more, but you may regret not having it". And I did regret but took matters into my own hands before it was too late.

 

[dancin Disney style]

I understand too.....my girls are 19 and 10. I wanted a third and still do but I really love my life now and wouldn't want to go back to all the baby stuff. We really love to travel and when #2 came along we couldn't. We had to move to a larger home which sucked all of our extra money for about 6 years.

If you are really feeling the urge to mother something how about a puppy? or try to find a baby to babysit full time which would also bring you some extra income. I know how nuts that sounds but since your DH is totally against another baby you need to channel those feelings and your free time.

 

[SandraC]

After my first child was born, I wanted to have 3 more kids. My first child was born with complex congenital heart defects that can not be repaired. She's had three heart operations so far and is stable. We waited until her three operations were over to have a second child. When I got preggy with ds, dd was 6 years old. While preggy, I wanted to have a 3rd children immediately after my second. I thought I'd be sad to close my baby factory, but after my second child, I'm thrilled to be done. I loved being preggy and I adore my family, but I feel complete. It's so funny because I NEVER thought I'd want to stop having kids, but I'm done and looking forward to grandkids in about 15 years. Sandra

 

[mom22belles]

The world ( and more importantly WDW ) is designed for families of 4!

Having 3 kids means ....

having to get 2 rooms and most resorts.
1 person will always have to ride alone or be the one holding the bags while eveyone else rides.
more often then not the will try and squeeze you into a table of 4
when you have 3 kids they out number you !
you can easily share 2 meals between 4 people, but it is hard to do that with 5

Nancy

P.S. If my post upsets you I am sorry. It is ment to be light hearted.
I too struggled with the 2 or 3 issue. Both my Dh and said we where done at 2
But things happen and when we discovered I was pregnant with number 3 with both nearly fainted. After a long heart to heart we both decided to go ahead with it. I am not sure what would have happened if we both weren't on board.
All I can offer you is a big

 

[greenclan67]

Hey guys, just wanted to add, I am someone that has always wanted to be a Mom! I come from a family with 8 siblings. I was the youngest and was always pegged as the "mom" of all 8. There is 18 years between my oldest brother and myself.(My poor mother) there is 8 years between the one next to me. I always say they save the best for last!!!!!!!!!
I have 2 girls, aged 9 & 7. Both were very difficult pregnancies, with different complications. But I must add my first pregnancy prior to my girls, was twins. They were also girls, and unfortunatly at 23 weeks pregnancy I went into pre-term labour, and neithier of them survived. I had my oldest daughter 10 months after losing them, and 22 months later my 2nd daughter. I was preg 3 times in less then 3 years. When I had my youngest daughter, I had blood pressure problems, she was breech, and they figured she was going to weigh in at around 10 or 11 pds at term. This lead to a C-section, and she was 9lbs 6 ozs, 2 weeks early. I made a decision at the time, to have my tubes tied. I shouldn't have made that decision so quickly, but I did. After about a year or so, I had that yearning to have another, and I knew I couldn't. Also getting pregnant initially wasn't easy for me, I had to take clomid to conceive the first time. Then about 2 years after my youngest daughter, my husband said he wished we would have had a 3rd as well. So I was in a place where we both wanted something we couldn't have. I have a wonderful husband, that knows I made the tubal decision, for numerous reasons, and it saved him from having it done!!!!! We did go see a dr about reversal, and I was 32 at the time, he told us to take 6 months to a year to think about it after getting all the info, he said in that time, if I still felt like I needed/wanted to get it done he would do it. We took our first trip to WDW that year, and did think about it, it was all we thought about. In the end, when the 1 year date came up, there is still a very strong longing for both of us to have another child, we will and always have felt we were missing someone and we were meant to have more children, but their was also a realization when we came home from WDW and taking our girls to do these things, how much older they are now, and we can do stuff with them, that having another baby would take away from the 2 wonderful, beautiful girls we were given. In the end we decided not to have another baby, and it was a hard decision to make!!! Probably one of the toughest ones yet. My youngest daughter almost begs me on a daily basis to have or adopt a baby. If it was that easy to adopt I would, but it isn't! I still long and have empty arm syndrome, but know that I made a great decision for my girls. We did take another trip this year, and it re-confirmed our desire to give everything to the 2 gifts we were given.
I will add as an end, that I do home childcare, and have for the last 9 years. I have babies here all the time, and you would think it would help, but when I have pregnant mommas ready to have their little ones, and I get to hold them, and smell them, cuddle them, it is very, very hard, to tame the beast of the baby gods, but I have learned that people are more then willing to lend me their babies for that time. And yes in the last 3 or 4 years, it has been far easier to give them back. I don't think I could do the sleepless nights again.
Whichever you decide will be the right one for you, it may not feel like it at the time, but eventually it will. I wish you luck, and I know it is a hard thing to turn off. It does get easier, and focusing on what I have and what I have lost, has made things seem better for me. Good luck!

 

[Honeystar120608]

After my first child was born, I wanted to have 3 more kids. My first child was born with complex congenital heart defects that can not be repaired. She's had three heart operations so far and is stable. We waited until her three operations were over to have a second child. When I got preggy with ds, dd was 6 years old. While preggy, I wanted to have a 3rd children immediately after my second. I thought I'd be sad to close my baby factory, but after my second child, I'm thrilled to be done. I loved being preggy and I adore my family, but I feel complete. It's so funny because I NEVER thought I'd want to stop having kids, but I'm done and looking forward to grandkids in about 15 years. Sandra

Im so glad your dd is doing much better! What I long for is that done feeling. I wish I had it..I really do!

The world ( and more importantly WDW ) is designed for families of 4!

Having 3 kids means ....

having to get 2 rooms and most resorts.
1 person will always have to ride alone or be the one holding the bags while eveyone else rides.
more often then not the will try and squeeze you into a table of 4
when you have 3 kids they out number you !
you can easily share 2 meals between 4 people, but it is hard to do that with 5

Nancy

P.S. If my post upsets you I am sorry. It is ment to be light hearted.
I too struggled with the 2 or 3 issue. Both my Dh and said we where done at 2
But things happen and when we discovered I was pregnant with number 3 with both nearly fainted. After a long heart to heart we both decided to go ahead with it. I am not sure what would have happened if we both weren't on board.
All I can offer you is a big

I totally agree. That is something I tell myself all the time, 4 just fits BUT! That doesn't make the feeling go away. I wish it did. I want it to. I try to make it go away by saying this. But... no luck. Im gonna give it another 8 months. If my mind or dh's mind changes then we will go in that direction. Even if I have to live with this... I just hope it gets better and easier. lol
Oh no! It doesnt upset me, trust me, you put it in a very logical ways. And whats most frustrating is that i know this. This is the battle of the heart and the head.

Hey guys, just wanted to add, I am someone that has always wanted to be a Mom! I come from a family with 8 siblings. I was the youngest and was always pegged as the "mom" of all 8. There is 18 years between my oldest brother and myself.(My poor mother) there is 8 years between the one next to me. I always say they save the best for last!!!!!!!!!
I have 2 girls, aged 9 & 7. Both were very difficult pregnancies, with different complications. But I must add my first pregnancy prior to my girls, was twins. They were also girls, and unfortunatly at 23 weeks pregnancy I went into pre-term labour, and neithier of them survived. I had my oldest daughter 10 months after losing them, and 22 months later my 2nd daughter. I was preg 3 times in less then 3 years. When I had my youngest daughter, I had blood pressure problems, she was breech, and they figured she was going to weigh in at around 10 or 11 pds at term. This lead to a C-section, and she was 9lbs 6 ozs, 2 weeks early. I made a decision at the time, to have my tubes tied. I shouldn't have made that decision so quickly, but I did. After about a year or so, I had that yearning to have another, and I knew I couldn't. Also getting pregnant initially wasn't easy for me, I had to take clomid to conceive the first time. Then about 2 years after my youngest daughter, my husband said he wished we would have had a 3rd as well. So I was in a place where we both wanted something we couldn't have. I have a wonderful husband, that knows I made the tubal decision, for numerous reasons, and it saved him from having it done!!!!! We did go see a dr about reversal, and I was 32 at the time, he told us to take 6 months to a year to think about it after getting all the info, he said in that time, if I still felt like I needed/wanted to get it done he would do it. We took our first trip to WDW that year, and did think about it, it was all we thought about. In the end, when the 1 year date came up, there is still a very strong longing for both of us to have another child, we will and always have felt we were missing someone and we were meant to have more children, but their was also a realization when we came home from WDW and taking our girls to do these things, how much older they are now, and we can do stuff with them, that having another baby would take away from the 2 wonderful, beautiful girls we were given. In the end we decided not to have another baby, and it was a hard decision to make!!! Probably one of the toughest ones yet. My youngest daughter almost begs me on a daily basis to have or adopt a baby. If it was that easy to adopt I would, but it isn't! I still long and have empty arm syndrome, but know that I made a great decision for my girls. We did take another trip this year, and it re-confirmed our desire to give everything to the 2 gifts we were given.
I will add as an end, that I do home childcare, and have for the last 9 years. I have babies here all the time, and you would think it would help, but when I have pregnant mommas ready to have their little ones, and I get to hold them, and smell them, cuddle them, it is very, very hard, to tame the beast of the baby gods, but I have learned that people are more then willing to lend me their babies for that time. And yes in the last 3 or 4 years, it has been far easier to give them back. I don't think I could do the sleepless nights again.
Whichever you decide will be the right one for you, it may not feel like it at the time, but eventually it will. I wish you luck, and I know it is a hard thing to turn off. It does get easier, and focusing on what I have and what I have lost, has made things seem better for me. Good luck!

Your story is very interesting! And I SO remember saying in DW last time there is no way we could do this with 3 kids. Mainly because we had strollers. ACK! I totally don't want one now, then in 20 mins I will be all about having another. SO frustrating!! Yes, I think...as dh says...we are perfect. We are paired. DS loves doing all the things that dh does...video games, computers...very techinical. DD is a total princess so I have my little doll to dress. She loves to go shopping and talk about DW and just do stuff. AAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I need a magic pill to take the baby syndrom away. Does it really get better with time?? If I knew this would go away, the EASY route is to not have any more. I would opt for that road, if I knew I would feel ok around pregnant Moms and babies and big families. I'd be so scared of loosing a child in DW with being outnumbered!
Ok today, I don't want another. Perhaps if I just keep convincing my friends around me to keep getting pregnant and I can go thrift store buying for baby clothes and babysit for them, this will go away? SO they have all costs and responsibility, but I get all the fun?? Wow, that sounds exactly like grandchildren. SO what I REALLY want is grandchildren. BUT my kids are 3 and 4. I have like 20-25 yrs to go!! That is A LOT of DW trips to keep me occupied!!!!!! WOOHOO!

 

[Honeystar120608]

Honeystar, I was going to suggest volunteering somewhere working with children, but I see you already came up with that idea on your own. I have volunteered at my daughter's school in various capacities for the last three years. It is very rewarding. You get to participate in this very important part of your children's lives, plus the other kids are fantastic to work with (at least at my DD's school).

I'm glad you're feeling better today.

Thanks so much, Im still conflicted, but not going out of my head conflicted. I do very much want to volunteer, but honestly..and this perhaps is coming from an inexperienced place since neither of my kids are in school, I don't think I would care if i have 2 kids 3 kids 4 kids, I will still be doing that at whatever capacity that I can. But again, my tune could change when DS is in school. Which is why I have it in my head that Nov/Dec is a good time to start thinking about it and talking about it again. DS will be in school by then so we get a feel for that school life we are so foreign to.

Well I was in your shoes a couple years ago. My first two are 18 months apart and 1 year apart in school. When my youngest was almost 4 I started wanting another baby. My husband wasn't against the idea, but he also wasn't exactly for it either. Well, within a month I was pregnant with # 3. So we didn't have time to ponder over it anymore. People would say to me "you may regret not having a third, but you will never regret having a third" and for me, thats been true.

Sure life would have been easier at times - my son was just starting primary and I could have had days to myself (I was a SAHM too) to do something. There were no more bottles, cribs, diapers, night-time feedings. But who needs easy?? So 3 months after both kids started school, baby # 3 arrived just after Christmas.

He shared a room with us, now shares a room with his big brother and they LOVE it.

I wouldn't change things for the world!!!

My husband was laid off from a very secure job in September. It was a shock. We had just forked out thousands of dollars on a back yard, a wrap around deck, booked this Disney vacation. And despite all this, having # 3 makes very little impact on us financially. Sure he'll soon cost us thousands of dollars playing hockey and an extra plane ticket to Disney but he's worth it - I'm not giving him back!!

Its tough. Part of me says your husband will love having another one if it happens (although I don't know him! LOL) but its hard.

I don't envy that you have to make this decision - but I do know how it feels because I went through it. Whatever choice you make will be just fine!! Good luck

We sound very much alike!! I never take the easy road. I prefer doing things, working to achieve something. Which is why it's hard for me, how hard can I reall work to get a 3rd baby. lol Only trying to convince dh that it would be so much fun. But I do believe that we wont be able to do DW until that child is 3 yrs old. Just to make it easier on us. And as long as Im ok with that... Im at a point where I feel the kids need these trips, which is crazy! I never had them. We got to go to PEI every summer, and to me that was the best! WE also love North Conway in NH. BUT like you said, even though the world is based on 4 people, I trully dont think that is a reason not to have a child. What, because there is an extra person for a hotel room? lol that sounds so ridiculous to me. And Im the type of person, I find ways around things. I make do with what we got and make the best out of the money we have and decisions we make. I don't think the easy excuse of "the world is built for a family of 4" is enough of a reason. That being said,the world is only built this way because for many decades families only had 2. Seems like these few generations coming up there are a lot of families that are larger!

I totally get where you are coming from. Our first two were no brainers. For years I was undecided on a 3rd (DH was on board, either way). I would get "the feeling" walking through baby cloth sections, and look at family pictures and know there was a face missing but I guess I just wasn't ready yet. So finally after years (and I do mean many of them...) we decided on a 3rd. There's 11 years between him and his oldest sibling, and 8 between him and our middle child. I wouldn't change a thing. He adds so much joy into all of our lives.

Like another poster said, "you won't regret having one more, but you may regret not having it". And I did regret but took matters into my own hands before it was too late.

lol you crack me up. I can't say much to taking the matters into your own hands except that I do indeed aplaud it. My mother did with my sister and she is SO Daddys little girl. BIG TIME. She is 13 yrs younger than me. I absolutely know my DH would LOVE another. I know he would, but there are too many BUTS

Ok, 15 mins ago I didnt want a baby, back onto wanting one. BAH BAH BAH!!!! lol

I am going to be working on the storage room building it into a room. Just a room, not a nursery not a bedroom, but once that option is there, we have that room. I think it is one less weight in DH's head. Also, the house needs some painting and a few things done to it that I can do being home. Well, i think it is just me lessening the fog in his mind. TO him there is a to do list and he cant see baby if there are things to do.

SO FUNNY how #1 we conceived and planned after 5 months dating, 2 months living together, married 7 months pregnant (in which shortly after getting pregnant he lost his license for unpaid fines, and lost his really good job!) SO we moved into a crumby trailer, I worked part time, then he got a job right when I was put off work at 8 months pregnant. Has been there ever since, we moved shortly after and wanted another ASAP. Now we HAVE money, we HAVE a house, he is at a job that pays decent, yes he is over worked, but there is no dream job, and he keeps saying he needs a secure job. WHAT IS THAT?? He wants a government job, but at that, can you say you will never get laid off or fired? I think that fate has a way of working things out...it's unbelievable how true I think everything is meant to be. SInce being with him, EVERYTHING just seems to work out. There are always options, we are never without possibilities. MEN THINK SO DIFFERENTLY THEN WOMEN! Holy smokes!

SIDE NOTE--My kids are watching Monsters Inch, my 3 yr old dd calls it MOnsters Stink. I thought it was funny --

 

[SandraC]

I feel done with my kids and you don't feel done with your kids....how about I send my kids to your house? THEN you'll get that DONE feeling!

 

[Honeystar120608]

I feel done with my kids and you don't feel done with your kids....how about I send my kids to your house? THEN you'll get that DONE feeling!

lol nice try. hahahaha!

 

[dancin Disney style]

I feel done with my kids and you don't feel done with your kids....how about I send my kids to your house? THEN you'll get that DONE feeling!

I've got one to send as well. Mine has a drivers license and can babysit for you too.

 

[BitsnBearsMom]

You could always come do my job for a week or so. I wipe snotty noses, change dirty diapers and feed 5 kids that aren't mine Mon to Fri 8am to 5pm - although the great hugs, smiley faces and giggles make my job so worth it!! But still - a week doing my job would cure the urges - you get your babies during the day when they are happy then can send them home for the sleepless nights!! Best of both worlds!! AND you get paid for it!!

I wanted a 3rd right up until my youngest hit 4.5 yrs old - then we started travelling and travelling really is designed for a family of 4!

My boys are at great ages now at 9yo and almost 15yo. It's nice to go see a movie that isn't a cartoon, go golfing, or just for dh and I to be able to go out whenever we want on our own.

We fixed my urges by getting a puppy too - I keep telling the boys that he's my best kid

I couldn't imagine life with a 3rd now - our life just feels complete!