OT-Why can't I be happy for them?

[J&J'sMOM]

Long story short---my best friend and her family went down to WDW on the 11th for a basketball tourney that their daughter was in. They were supposed to come back tomorrow, but I got an email this morning saying they're staying the rest of this week too! This is their first trip there and before they went they had NO Clue what it was going to be like. They didn't make any ADR's, they didn't even know that WDW has 4 parks! I was kind of upset that she didn't ask me for any advice before they went. ( We go alot and are going in 22 days). My husband says that I should be happy for them, they obviously are having a great time, and want to see everything. I think deep down I'm jealous and hate feeling this way! Although we go often, we have never stayed for 2+ weeks! To make it worse, before they left, she wasn't excited at all about going! I'm trying to look at it from my husband's perpesctive...but it's hard. Thanks for letting me vent............
Any advice on how to just be happy that they are finally understanding why we love it so much?

 

[solgent]

I don't think it's jealousy exactly. I think it's competitiveness.

I think you kind of wanted them to have a bad time so that you could say or think, "I told you so. You should have asked me for advice. You should have taken advantage of my knowledge. You shouldn't have gone down there unprepared." Part of you felt superior to them because you had so much experience and they had none, and you believed they would suffer for it, which would confirm your superiority.

But things haven't worked out that way, so now you can't feel superior! They might even feel superior to you. They might be thinking, "Hey, J&J's Mom spends so much time and effort planning her trips, but we had a fab time without having to bother with all that!"

How to get over it... first thing is to acknowledge to yourself what is going on in your thoughts and feelings. Do you compare yourself often with BF? Do you need to feel that you're better off or at least as well off? I think these type of feelings are pretty natural and you won't get rid of them, but your goal is not to have them overwhelm you to where you can't be happy for a friend.

 

[DVC Sadie]

solgent, I totally agree. Great post.

OP, if the person who is WDW is a true friend then it should not be too difficult to be "happy" for them.

 

[Aristomommy]

When BIL and SIL went for ther first trip to DL, they also thought they would just show up and do whatever they wanted. ALthough DL is easier to navigate than WDW, they went during springbreak week and it was crowded. DH and I tried to help them with planning etc. since we were doing our own planning for DL for the following year. We even offered to go together, but they didn't want to wait.

I was a little upset by their attitude as well, but they did come back frustrated and unhappy because they mostly walked around in crowds the whole day. Everything was "too much waiting" and they finally left early.

I don't know if you are jealous since you are going soon yourself. I think if your friend had asked for advice or tips, you would have been excied to help her plan? Not everyone is a planner and they may have found this the hard way, but loved it there so they wanted to stay longer. When they come back, be excited to hear about their adventures. You will find out that they probably weren't able to do as much or even didn't know about fun things available to them, and you feeling will go away

 

[saratogadreamin09]

just get over it, espically since your going in 22 days


i go a lot too and i've never stayed over 9 days so i can see why your upset that a non disney freak is staying so long but just wait untill your trip comes

 

[littleteapot]

Long story short---my best friend and her family went down to WDW on the 11th for a basketball tourney that their daughter was in. They were supposed to come back tomorrow, but I got an email this morning saying they're staying the rest of this week too! This is their first trip there and before they went they had NO Clue what it was going to be like. They didn't make any ADR's, they didn't even know that WDW has 4 parks! I was kind of upset that she didn't ask me for any advice before they went. ( We go alot and are going in 22 days). My husband says that I should be happy for them, they obviously are having a great time, and want to see everything. I think deep down I'm jealous and hate feeling this way! Although we go often, we have never stayed for 2+ weeks! To make it worse, before they left, she wasn't excited at all about going! I'm trying to look at it from my husband's perpesctive...but it's hard. Thanks for letting me vent............
Any advice on how to just be happy that they are finally understanding why we love it so much?

I don't know what your problem is......but I'm totally jealous you're going in 22 days and I won't get to go for at least a year.

 

[dzone1]

You sound like a great friend.

 

[J&J'sMOM]

You sound like a great friend.

Oh, and I'm sure your are always the best a friend could ask for too.

 

[MightyMom]

Maybe you're not really her best friend. I couldn't imagine ever thinking or feeling this way about my BF and her family. I love them like family... and I would be thrilled if they were going to WDW for 2 weeks.

That's the only explaination I have..... it's probably not what you wanted to hear. Sorry.

 

[kimsuenew]

Maybe you're not really her best friend. I couldn't imagine ever thinking or feeling this way about my BF and her family. I love them like family... and I would be thrilled if they were going to WDW for 2 weeks.

That's the only explaination I have..... it's probably not what you wanted to hear. Sorry.

ITA!Last summer, my BFF of 30 years went with her family to WDW (my family was booked to go during free dining... and it was the first trip ever for both of our families). I was so excited for her! And we gladly welcomed any pointers/recommendations that she had for our trip 2 months later! While we were at Disney I sent them postcards (one to the family and a seperate princess one to her daughter alone), as did they (to us) when they were down. We get to go back this September (sadly they do not due to financial reasons) but she is still happy for us. I do not understand the jealousy. Be happy for her and geesh... a mere three weeks later it will be your turn!

 

[jnzimm]

just get over it, espically since your going in 22 days


i go a lot too and i've never stayed over 9 days so i can see why your upset that a non disney freak is staying so long but just wait untill your trip comes

Aren't you the same person trying to talk your sis out of taking her kids to WDW.

 

[coolbeans]

My best friend took her kids over spring break this past spring! I was soo excited for her, they had a blast. Even if I wasn't going I can't imagine not being excited for her!!!
When they come home compare notes, see what they loved and what didn't work for them. You may learn a thing or two.

 

[LoveTwoTravel]

Be happy for others. Happiness for others does not diminish your own happiness: there is not a finite amount of happiness in the world.

Life is too short.

 

[kimsuenew]

Be happy for others. Happiness for others does not diminish your own happiness: there is not a finite amount of happiness in the world.
Life is too short.

I love your reply!! There is so much truth in this!!

 

[mamaLori05]

I guess I don't really see what there is to be jelous over, especially since you are going in a few weeks. The only think I can think of is that they didn't ask you for help. Please don't take this the wrong way, but some people just don't like to plan things and prefer to take it easy and go as they please while on vacation. I know my family fits in that category. For our last trip this past spring I set up a few ADR's (3 to be exact for a 10 day trip), and we actually liked it better when we didn't have any ADR's. We liked just eating when we were hungry, and seeing/going to things when we wanted to. In fact, we are leaving for Myrtle Beach soon and have nothing planned other than our hotel and air reservations. I know we will have a good time because we are just very laid back. Doesn't take much to please us. Maybe your bf is the same way.
Also, since this is their first trip, they probably just want to make sure they see everything. You mentioned that you go often, but not everyone has that opportunity. Maybe they don't know when they will be back again, so they are making the most of this trip.
Anyway, I would try as hard as possible to just be happy for them. When they get back, ask them about their trip. Maybe you'll find out something that you'll want to see when you go in a few weeks.

 

[mamaLori05]

Aren't you the same person trying to talk your sis out of taking her kids to WDW.

Hey neighbor! I don't live far from you!!! We're from Waukesha! Went to Whitewater in college and visited Janesville all the time!!

 

[saratogadreamin09]

Aren't you the same person trying to talk your sis out of taking her kids to WDW.

NO!!!!! i totally messed up that post. my grandmother doent want them to go and i was looking for advice for them

and not my sis(i'm an only child), my aunt

 

[J&J'sMOM]

Be happy for others. Happiness for others does not diminish your own happiness: there is not a finite amount of happiness in the world.

Life is too short.

You have really struck a cord with me!

Thank You- I'm always telling others that life is too short and to live in the moment, but it seems today I need to follow my (& your) advice!

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

To me it doesn't sound so much as you are jealous but that Dis has always been "your thing" and you were hurt that she didn't come to you for advice to make her vacation great but has ended up having a fabulous time anyway... I know my sister has been eager to help us schedule, plan and make the most of every second of our up coming vacation but we're very different people- she wants to take in every single thing or she will feel cheated out of part of her vacation as she's got it in her head what are things she must do, where as we're more stop and smell the roses type of people- anything we see and do will be a huge bonus for us so we're not going to feel cheated out of missing things we miss as we prefer a less scheduled approach with 4 small kids.

I would look forwards to the fact you'll now have another thing in common as friends- a love of disney vacations!

 

[LoveTwoTravel]

You have really struck a cord with me!

Thank You- I'm always telling others that life is too short and to live in the moment, but it seems today I need to follow my (& your) advice!

Happy to help! Some days you just have to decide/choose to be happy (whether for yourself or others). It's a choice to *sit on the happy side*!

Why don't you do something nice for her Disney-related then you'll be involved in the *magic* of her trip! Maybe just have the front desk take them a note saying you're thinking of them and glad they love it as much as your family does (that doesn't even cost anything other than a few moments of long distance). And in your own mind start getting excited to hear about the things they loved and discovered when they return.

You've got the power to transform how you look at this!