OT: Why are all the working moms running our PTA?

[jodifla]

I'm an active member of my son's preschool, and it's so odd to me that the working moms are the ones doing everything for the PTA!

They are the ones who ran for office, show up for the meetings, and run the events!

I expected it to be run by the SAHMs for time reasons, but that doesn't seemt to be the case.

What's the case with your PTA?

 

[Luv2trav]

What's the big deal? Are they not doing the job? Moms are moms regardless if they are working or not. We all care about our children's education. So if they can manage the time I don't understand what the problem is.

 

[Disney_Dreaming]

SAHM's are just as busy as working mothers in my opinion. I'm a SAHM and my son attends a preschool co-op. While I'm not a board member I am part of a committee, clean the school once a month and also aide once a month - sometimes more. I also drive on every field trip.

 

[Whosemom]

here's a few reasons.

I am there to help with lunch at least once a week. I go on every field trip for which drivers are needed. I pitch in when something's needed as I am in and out of the building.

I consider myself a SAHM, but until recently I worked a part time job a couple evenings a week - as do many - so all those evening meetings were just out of the question. Besides that, SAHM evenings are just as packed as working mom evenings - dance, music lessons, sports, Bible study...its in the evening for us too, even if we are home in the day.

Even if that weren't the case, I'm just not a meeting kind of person. We have this same thing at church. There are people at the meetings planning big a-few-times-a-year events, and those of us that do the less spectacular work week after week. Like Sunday School, and delivering things collected in drives, and helping with youth group, etc etc

When my oldest started school, I signed up for room mother 2 years in a row. It then came to my attention that people who needed very scheduled occurences that they could plan half a day off for were wishing for those spots. So I stopped signing up to be in charge.

Thank God for making us all different! There's jobs to suit everybody and our kids need us all. Between us, everything is covered, If you meeting types didn't cover the big events, that would be a loss, and if I wasn't there for mundane day-to-day stuff, that would be a lss as well.

 

[jillyjoey]

At my kids' school --the PTO is all SAHM -- to the exclusion of those few of us working moms. (Except when they want us to write out those nice big checks). All meetings and activities are held during the school day -- so we either have to take off work or miss the activity.

I have a problem with them holding PTO meetings at 2:00 pm at a local restaurant. I have a problem with them doing PTO activities (like decorate-a-tile) during school hours rather than at night (how it used to be). I have a problem that every time they ask for volunteers it is during the school day.
When I asked the PTO president why everything was done during the school day -- her answer -- we don't want to give up our weekends. Well, that's fine for them but what about the rest of us.

Sorry -- this is my rant as a working mom.

 

[Whosemom]

Jilleyjoey, that isn't fair! I'd be upset, too. Having the meetings during the day does totally cut you out.

I can see some of the activities being in the day. If you want all the kids to get to participate in any given project, it has to be during a school day.

 

[debster812]

For us it's just the opposite. I have been BEGGING to be able to help with the PTO, and help out at DS's school for several years. However with group of parents currently running things, the meetings are held at 3pm on a Tuesday afternoon (sorry, can't make those, I work 45 minutes from home) each week.

There are several of us working outside the home moms who have made several requests that they have at least one meeting at night during the week, and so far they have not wanted to make changes. So I still can't be more involved.

Yet, this is the same group who complains that it's always the 'same group of people' doing everything, and that NO ONE will help.

I guess it doesn't matter the circumstance, there's always going to be problems with how things like this are scheduled and run.

 

[jillyjoey]

Jilleyjoey, that isn't fair! I'd be upset, too. Having the meetings during the day does totally cut you out.

I can see some of the activities being in the day. If you want all the kids to get to participate in any given project, it has to be during a school day.

The decorate-a-tile event was always in the evening (for the past 3 years). It is a family event. This year they changed it to during the school day. The event always involved the parents helping their children design and decorate their tile. This year -- another parent- helped my children. I have no idea what DD(pre-k) designed. DS complained that no one helped him and his tile was awful. At $20 a piece -- I am quite upset.

A co-worker of mine has his DD in the same school. He makes the same complaints as I do. The PTO will ask for volunteers for committees .... I always sign up but never get called. Then you get a notice in a backpack that they have no volunteers --- As my co-worker described it -- it is their own little clique.

 

[mrsltg]

A co-worker of mine has his DD in the same school. He makes the same complaints as I do. The PTO will ask for volunteers for committees .... I always sign up but never get called. Then you get a notice in a backpack that they have no volunteers --- As my co-worker described it -- it is their own little clique.

This is the way at every school. The PTO/PTA Mom's are one big happy clique. At my dd's school there are constant complaints that volunteers don't get call-backs. There is also the assumption that a father is incapable of handling anything at all (my dh works evenings so he is home during the day).

Oh well - I'm not going to fight over it! I figure this goes down in the "Mommy Wars" category and I'm not wasting my time participating!

 

[bellarella]

Well, depending on the type of jobs the women have it may be easier for them to attend meetings and volunteer than it is for SAHMs. If you are a SAHM it is likely that you don't have any child care arrangements. Some schools are not accommodating of younger siblings. Some ages don't lend themselves to tagging along even if the school does allow other children I know some of my friends with more flexible jobs are able to use lunch hours, etc. to do many things that I can't do because there is no one to watch my children

This isn't meant as a "one type of mom has it harder/easier than another" comment. Just a possible explanation. I have WOHM moms who have no flexibility to their schedule or work to far away and can't do volunteer work at school. I also have SAHM friends who do have family, etc. who can provide child care so they can do a ton of work at the school. I'm in the boat where I rarely have anyone who can watch my kids during the day, so if it isn't a tag along sort of event, I can't help.

 

[shoegirl1020]

I'm active on our PTO and it's always at night. 6:30 p.m. in fact. Unfortunateyl there are sooo few of us. However, the principal is very involved in our PTO. I would take my issue of early PTO meetings directly to the principal and even to the superintendant. It's not fair that "they don't want to give up their weekends" so YOU have to loose out.

 

[laceemouse]

Well, we homeschool now, but when we were in PS (actually several, we moved a lot) it was the opposite! We were always in highly rated districts in upscale burbs and most of the moms stayed home anyway. The SAHMs ran the PTA for sure, and I was pretty active too. They did offer some things in the pm for working moms to be able to come, but they usually didn't come anyway. I do agree that in some schools we were in the PTA was very cliquish, but in others we all worked together very well. I am not the kind to be in any clique, but I am very active and involved in whatever we do (church, for instance, and now all of our homeschool activities!) I guess the moms in your area must be very type A!!! They CAN do it all....wow!

 

[bunny]

Our PTL is run by a group of SAHM's. All the meetings are during the day in the morning. They never have meetings in the afternoon or evening. They prefer to meet during the day. I have complained about it but there is really nothing anybody wants to do about it. The last PTL meeting only 5 people showed up besides them. We have about 150 to 200 kids at our school. When I questioned the PTL president about it, she laughed. I think if the whole PTL is run by 6 people and only 5 other people attend the meeting it is crazy. The only time they seem interested in other parents helping is when it comes to fundraising. I told her I wasn't doing any more fundraising until they disclosed where they were spending the money. We do a lot of fundraising and they exclusively decide where it is being spent. They also don't tell anyone how they spend it. I don't think they are doing anything wrong, but I would like some input.

 

[Jen76b]

I'm a board member of my DS's PTA and about half the board members are working mom's (myself included). We have a problem with getting volunteers to help out at any time of the day (during school or after school). I would think it would be easier for a SAHM to help during the day, but our school doesn't like for people to bring their younger child b/c of misbehaving we've had over the years. Some people don't watch their little ones well enough and they get into trouble.

We've always had our family events during the evening so that families are able to attend. I don't understand why they would be during the day. That just doesn't seem fair to the parents.


Edit- Forgot to add.. does anyone ever attend the general meetings to voice their concerns? I know we never had questions at our general meetings, and it's always a low turn out. The only time we have a full house is if a certain grade is performing after the meeting. Then it's usually parents who don't care about the meeting and just want us to hurry up so they can see their kids.

Jen

 

[KristiKelly]

Our PTA consist of both working moms, sahm, & dads. Our PTA pres. is a DAD. He has done an outstanding job, is very enthusiastic, and did away with the junk selling fundraisers .

I don't see why it matters if it's a working mom/dad or not. If they decide to run for whatever position, so be it.

I'm a SAHM, I would not run for pta president. I loathe public speaking!!! I do help with all classroom parties, I do duty free lunch for our teachers once a month, I put snacks in the teachers lounge, helped with a breakfast in DS 4th grade class yesterday before the big writing test.

With most schools there are plenty of places to volunteer. If you feel left out, speak with the principal, I'm sure she'll find something for you.

 

[jillyjoey]

I'm a board member of my DS's PTA and about half the board members are working mom's (myself included). We have a problem with getting volunteers to help out at any time of the day (during school or after school). I would think it would be easier for a SAHM to help during the day, but our school doesn't like for people to bring their younger child b/c of misbehaving we've had over the years. Some people don't watch their little ones well enough and they get into trouble.

We've always had our family events during the evening so that families are able to attend. I don't understand why they would be during the day. That just doesn't seem fair to the parents.


Edit- Forgot to add.. does anyone ever attend the general meetings to voice their concerns? I know we never had questions at our general meetings, and it's always a low turn out. The only time we have a full house is if a certain grade is performing after the meeting. Then it's usually parents who don't care about the meeting and just want us to hurry up so they can see their kids.

Jen

The problem with our meetings is this -- they are during the day. You will get a notice the day of the meeting. Lots of good that does - as I don't see the notice until I pick my kids up from school -- which is after the meeting. From what I have heard -- only the board members attend the meetings.

The PTO was not like this at one of my DS's previous schools. Like another poster, a DAD was president and the meetings were held at night -- and we saw how money is being spent. I know there are few working moms at their current school - -. It just seems that we don't count (except for all those monetary donations).

 

[Mouse House Mama]

My oldest will be in kindergarten in September. I am a SAHM and plan on joining the PTA. I have to admit though- I cannot attend meetings during the day. I will have 3 other kids younger than ds and no child care. I do not live near any family and they all work anyway. My close friends also work. I certainly hope they have meetings at night. I remember when I was a kid my Mom tried to join in and it was a clique then as well. I just think that is so wrong. We all want to participate for our kids. Working or not we should all be afforded the opportunity to be a part of it. JMHO.

 

[jillyjoey]

My oldest will be in kindergarten in September. I am a SAHM and plan on joining the PTA. I have to admit though- I cannot attend meetings during the day. I will have 3 other kids younger than ds and no child care. I do not live near any family and they all work anyway. My close friends also work. I certainly hope they have meetings at night. I remember when I was a kid my Mom tried to join in and it was a clique then as well. I just think that is so wrong. We all want to participate for our kids. Working or not we should all be afforded the opportunity to be a part of it. JMHO.

You are absolutely correct. Everyone should be able to be a part.


Maybe I would feel differently if I was part of the PTO clique.

 

[Jen76b]

The problem with our meetings is this -- they are during the day. You will get a notice the day of the meeting. Lots of good that does - as I don't see the notice until I pick my kids up from school -- which is after the meeting. From what I have heard -- only the board members attend the meetings.

The PTO was not like this at one of my DS's previous schools. Like another poster, a DAD was president and the meetings were held at night -- and we saw how money is being spent. I know there are few working moms at their current school - -. It just seems that we don't count (except for all those monetary donations).

There should be 2 meetings. 1 is a meeting for just the board members. The 2nd is the general meeting for ALL PTA members. If you paid your dues, you are allowed to attend the meeting.

I agree that it seems wrong to have the board meetings during the day since it doesn't allow everyone works that wants to be on the board to attend.

I would find out when your General meetings are and voice your concerns. Since you will have other PTA members at the meeting, maybe other parents will join in and want to know answers to the same questions you have.

Like others said, you can talk to the Prinicpal. If you don't have luck with that, or don't feel comfortable talking to him/her, check to see who your local council rep is. Everyone should have one for their area. I beleive you can go to your state's PTA website to find that info.

Jen

 

[robsmom]

Our Pta alternates meetings between day and night but it is monthly so there are maybe 3 or 4 a year at night. all the real work is done by small group that does it during the day. I went to the first night meeting and i signed up to help with a few committees. One was the kindness committee (helps families in need)- have not heard from them. the second was to help with the school concerts/shows- the chairperson called me on a monday afternoon right before christmas - told me that she had prop chanukka candles that needed to be fixed for the 3rd/4th grade christmas show. I said sure i could do them that weekend. she said that i needed to pick them up that day and have them back by wednesday. I said that unfortuantely i was leaving for the airport in a few minutes and would be back on thursday (business trip). She then very rudly said "well why did you sign up for this committee" - well gosh i didn't know they would need me to be on call 24X7. Our Pta also complains about lack of support but they all have the martyr complex.