OT: what's with "save the date" wedding announcements?

[eliza61]

What a coinicidence, I got one yesterday. I assumed it was because the wedding is in Negril, Jamaica and this gives peope a lot more time to think about attending.

 

[ZPT1022]

I actually really like the idea of receiving information about hotels and other things to do in the area. It's very hard to make hotel reservations not knowing anything about the surrounding areas. I guess a wedding "packet" for out of town guests would be nice (haven't received one of those), but I still think an "announcement" would be nicer wording than "save the date".

Being nitpicky here but a "wedding announcement" indicates that a wedding has already taken place and that the happy couple or their parents are letting you know that they are now married. I think that happens more when people elope or have small destination weddings but still want to share their happy news with the people who didn't get to celebrate with them on the actual date.

I think to most people "save the date" means "save the date if you would like to come to our wedding" not "save the date OR ELSE!!!"

That's my impression for save the dates as well.

I guess we're odd, but we're not going to plan our vacation dates around our 2nd cousin's wedding, who we never see, and who live out of state, but with the wedding locally. For that matter, if my DH's company Christmas party that date, we'll might go to it instead. Whether we were "told" to save the date or not!!!! I would plan around very close family and friends, but then I would think that I would write their dates on our calendar. A reminder from them would be fine.

I don't think you're odd- we missed my cousin's wedding and a good friend of mine's wedding because we were in WDW. We live in CT and conveniently enough both weddings were in NJ a few towns apart and on back to back days but hey, I wasn't canceling my 2 1/2 week WDW vacation for either of them. Now had I found out about the weddings BEFORE I booked, I may have booked my vacation to start a week later and been able to go to both weddings but since I knew nothing about them I didn't do that. I guess that is the point of save the dates. Had I known about the weddings before I booked my trip, I may have been able to plan differently, but at 6 weeks out my final payment was due and there was no way I was canceling for a wedding I had just found out about. I mean, I knew the weddings were happening but it was more of a vague "in the fall" or "in September" than a specific date.

 

[AXOalum]

Wedding Planner Extraordinare checking in

Save the dates are commonplace now - with the costs of weddings growing each year (even the "simple" ones) and with the increased "busy-ness" of all our lives, it is sometimes hard to schedule something with just 6 weeks notice. My calendar is already planned through December of this year, with dates already scheduled through May 09 - life just gets busy. The magnets are usually cute ways to remember your loved ones and to let them know that it is important to the B&G that you attend their wedding. It should never be viewed as offensive - gee, I'm a wedding planner, and my brides always send me their save the dates, although of course they are already on my calendar and I am usually talking to them at least two or three times a month.

And if they want to "waste their money" reminding someone about the (hopefully) biggest day of their lives, then really, it is their choice. Just think of it this way... stupid little magnet that costs probably $4.50 each = you are special to us and we want you to be there to celebrate with us. The cost of you attending the big day = Priceless

 

[mamaLori05]

As for the terminology, I hate to say it but I think it is something you will need to get used to as it is pretty much the standard now a days. I think to most people "save the date" means "save the date if you would like to come to our wedding" not "save the date OR ELSE!!!"

Yup, I have to agree here too. We too have a crazy schedule and it's nice to know the date ahead of the invitations so that we can plan accordingly, especially if we really want to go to the wedding. They are meant to be a nice reminder for people like us, definatly not meant to be selfish in most cases. STD are very much welcomed here!

Then again I got married five years ago and it was the norm back then too. Maybe whether or not you accept them depends on how long ago you got married and whether or not it is the norm in your area. I guess if you had never heard of it before I could see how you could take it as a selfish thing, but I'm almost positive it wasn't meant to be like that.

 

[Zeebs]

We sent them, they just had the date on them and the city as the rest we hadn't sorted out at that point.

1. To give people time to save to come to the wedding if they so wished.

I guess we're odd, but we're not going to plan our vacation dates around our 2nd cousin's wedding, who we never see, and who live out of state, but with the wedding locally. For that matter, if my DH's company Christmas party that date, we'll might go to it instead. Whether we were "told" to save the date or not!!!! I would plan around very close family and friends, but then I would think that I would write their dates on our calendar. A reminder from them would be fine. Isn't this just what a Save the Date is?
I'm sorry, but I also don't see how the STD help lock down the number attending. We try to be very respectful of the RSVP date, so hopefully that date is prior to final payment for the wedding family. It won't lock down the numbers but you will be able to gage the numbers from people saying to you it is in my calendar.
I guess I need to try to think of the STD as an "announcement" or "reminder" and not a "you better not schedule anything on our wedding day". And again, a packet of information for out of town guests would have been awesome. Too bad that's not what we got (twice). Would have made more sense to me.

And, these cards come about 6 months prior to the wedding. Hey, a LOT can happen in 6 months. Ok, but that's ok, atleast I will have the date saved. Isn't that the point

Is this a new thing that everyone is doing? Or is it just a few wacky people?

Don't count myself as wacky, but hey who knows

Wedding Planner Extraordinare checking in

Save the dates are commonplace now - with the costs of weddings growing each year (even the "simple" ones) and with the increased "busy-ness" of all our lives, it is sometimes hard to schedule something with just 6 weeks notice. My calendar is already planned through December of this year, with dates already scheduled through May 09 - life just gets busy. The magnets are usually cute ways to remember your loved ones and to let them know that it is important to the B&G that you attend their wedding. It should never be viewed as offensive - gee, I'm a wedding planner, and my brides always send me their save the dates, although of course they are already on my calendar and I am usually talking to them at least two or three times a month. Totally agree,

And if they want to "waste their money" reminding someone about the (hopefully) biggest day of their lives, then really, it is their choice. Just think of it this way... stupid little magnet that costs probably $4.50 each = you are special to us and we want you to be there to celebrate with us. The cost of you attending the big day = Priceless

Maybe they just annoy the people who don't want to go but now can't say it was too short notice to arrange, accommodation, baby sitters etc

Kirsten

 

[#1 Pocahontas]

I don't think I have ever received one. I did once for a birthday party (via email) but that was just because my friend was really excited about her daughter's party and wanted to make sure people could come. LOL

I don't think they are a bad idea to send out. Most wedding invites that we receive arrive about a month or so before the wedding. We are usually booked solid on weekends so early notice is always appreciated.

I agree, they probably just sent them to everyone on their list.

 

[disykat]

Maybe the Bride and Groom could send the OP a "just in case you might want to know when our wedding is and maybe even mark your calendar so you will know in case you decide that our wedding is important enough for you to work around so you don't plan other things on the same day because we'd love to have you there if it doesn't interfere with your other plans and are hoping to make it easier for you to plan" card.

 

[tadamom]

I'm laughing out loud at all the STD's being "shared" on this thread.

Me Too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If only he had sent out a S.T.D.!

I think STDs are nice.

STD are very much welcomed here!

Cracking up!!! The Tag Fairy would have a field day with these!

Anyways....I have only received 1 of the Save The Date cards, it was from a co-worker of my DH and they sent them out b/c it was an out of town wedding that would have required a hotel stay.

Nobody did Save the Date cards when I got married 11 years ago but they might would have been good to send out b/c one of my DH's cousins actually forgot about our wedding and remembered it when she got to church the next morning to see the birdseed all over the parking lot. She must have been having a really bad day to forget b/c her sister actually served in the wedding!

 

[AXOalum]

Maybe the Bride and Groom could send the OP a "just in case you might want to know when our wedding is and maybe even mark your calendar so you will know in case you decide that our wedding is important enough for you to work around so you don't plan other things on the same day because we'd love to have you there if it doesn't interfere with your other plans and are hoping to make it easier for you to plan" card.

You owe me a new computer screen... actually, it belongs to my boss and she is returning from her Disney trip on Monday morning, so you will probably need to overnight it

 

[Aliceacc]

And if they want to "waste their money" reminding someone about the (hopefully) biggest day of their lives, then really, it is their choice. Just think of it this way... stupid little magnet that costs probably $4.50 each = you are special to us and we want you to be there to celebrate with us. The cost of you attending the big day = Priceless

Let them know about vistaprint.com

If you sign up for their email notices, they'll let you know when their fridge magnets are free-- the first 25 you order anyway. (and,yes, I have been known to place multiple orders.)

The quality isn't extraordinary, and you do pay for shipping and handling, but they're most certainly NOT $4.50 each.

 

[mamaLori05]

Me Too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








Cracking up!!! The Tag Fairy would have a field day with these!

Anyways....I have only received 1 of the Save The Date cards, it was from a co-worker of my DH and they sent them out b/c it was an out of town wedding that would have required a hotel stay.

Nobody did Save the Date cards when I got married 11 years ago but they might would have been good to send out b/c one of my DH's cousins actually forgot about our wedding and remembered it when she got to church the next morning to see the birdseed all over the parking lot. She must have been having a really bad day to forget b/c her sister actually served in the wedding!

I totally didn't read it that way until you mentioned it!!! That's pretty funny!!

OT- but could someone please let me know or pm me what the tag fairy is?

 

[labdogs42]

I love save the dates. I did them for my wedding ten years ago and I think they were just becoming popular then. Sometimes, if you aren't super close to the bride and groom, but you are invited to the wedding, it is nice to know that far in advance in case you need to make hotel or plane reservations to attend the wedding. If I only got two month's notice, I might be busy or I might not get a good deal on my flight. If I have 6 month's notice, I might be more likely to attend the wedding. I really like these cards!

 

[KristiMc]

Maybe the Bride and Groom could send the OP a "just in case you might want to know when our wedding is and maybe even mark your calendar so you will know in case you decide that our wedding is important enough for you to work around so you don't plan other things on the same day because we'd love to have you there if it doesn't interfere with your other plans and are hoping to make it easier for you to plan" card.

 

[alikat99]

I know that I got married almost 10 years ago, and I sent out a STD letter. I made it like a newsletter format with things like hotel information, etc. We decided on it, because we were getting married the week before Christmas, and knew that the holidays are busy for almost everyone, so we just wanted to give everyone a heads up, especially since a lot of family was from out of town.

 

[lclark0621]

We sent Save The Date cards for our wedding 11 years ago. It was a Disney Wedding & also had the hotel reservation form.

Many many people travel for weddings. Just because YOU aren't going to, doesn't mean the people who have to think about flight arrangments dont like knowing very far in advance so they can start looking at travel.

It seems today some people are darned if the do and darned if they dont.

I am sure at some point there will be a post complaining about a couple that didn't send the Save The Date cards out so people were not given enough time to make flight arrangments (and given todays airline costs, the difference in a couple of weeks could make a big difference in price).