OT What is age approriate 2nd grade?

[Erin1700]

She is so lucky to have you!!

I have a 3rd grade DD so this is some of the things that works for us.
When DD would bring home a list of spelling words that all ended the same way -gh as you said, I would actually tell her.."nothing on this list ends in F" sometimes it just needed to be said outloud! I remember her having all -ie words and I had to physically say "they are all ie".

not sure if this is cheating, but if you have her spelling book home one night, copy the words for the next week and start working on them over the weekend. Maybe do it in a fun way...sidewalk chalk, window markers, etc.

I know you are very loving to her or else you wouldnt have her, but make sure she "overhears" you and your husband saying positive things about her to each other.

Find a subject she is good at in school and reward her for it. Sometimes making a big deal about something that comes easy to her, will boost her confidence!!

And know that second grade really does stink!! that was my DD's worst year even though she did great academically.

 

[kellyg403]

She is so lucky to have you!!

I have a 3rd grade DD so this is some of the things that works for us.
When DD would bring home a list of spelling words that all ended the same way -gh as you said, I would actually tell her.."nothing on this list ends in F" sometimes it just needed to be said outloud! I remember her having all -ie words and I had to physically say "they are all ie".

not sure if this is cheating, but if you have her spelling book home one night, copy the words for the next week and start working on them over the weekend. Maybe do it in a fun way...sidewalk chalk, window markers, etc.

I know you are very loving to her or else you wouldnt have her, but make sure she "overhears" you and your husband saying positive things about her to each other.

Find a subject she is good at in school and reward her for it. Sometimes making a big deal about something that comes easy to her, will boost her confidence!!

And know that second grade really does stink!! that was my DD's worst year even though she did great academically.

Great idea. Hadn't thought about that!

 

[es45]

You've gotten some great advice and I agree with a pp that a consistent schedule is key.

If she is getting after-school care where they don't have them do homework and they don't tutor them, then that is the time to play and relax after school. Perhaps she should start homework after putting away her things when you get home. You are right, after dinner they are often too tired to focus.

I also like the suggestions from woodkins of spelling exercises to reinforce learning; we did this with our DD8 last year when she had some problems with spelling. If sentences are too difficult (since she is already struggling with spelling) then she could write each letter in a different color or write the entire word in squiggles or blocks. She could draw a picture and "hide" her spelling words in the drawing. She could also create word steps, like
c
ca
cat

My DD8 really likes doing these exercises to help learn spelling and these were all suggestions from her 2nd grade teacher.

Best wishes to you and your DGD. She sounds like a wonderful child who had to grow up much too fast. What great grandparents you are to give her the opportunity to go back to being a child.

 

[iwrbnd]

I would google "innattentive ADHD" and just see if the symptoms match what you see at home. Her history will complicate a diagnosis but you also don't want to ignore a real problem if it's there. Hang in there, you're doing a wonderful thing!

 

[DisneySJB]

Kudos to you!! You are giving your GGD chances in life she may or may not have had otherwise.

My DN (7) has been thru a rough time since DS and BIL divorced. He is actually taking classes thru the school on self esteem and how to deal with having divorced parents. Maybe your school has a program you can get involved in? It isn't "therapy" so you would not be breaking the terms of your agreement, but it could teach her some life skills that might be helpful.

 

[WillieBearsMom]

Do you mind if I ask what your DGD does at the after school program? Do they tutor, work on homework, or is it a time to rest, play with friends, etc? I am asking because I am a teacher and our after school program is where students are tutored by teachers or high school students in honor society. Just curious.

I was thinking that if your DGD is working on school work/being tutored for that additional time after school until 5:00, she may just absolutely be burned out by the time she gets home. Try allowing her to take a break and do a fun activity with her when you get home. (I know time is limited after 5:00 because of making dinner, etc. so this may be hard to fit in) There is a magazine that I use as a teacher sometimes called The Mailbox. (you can find it at http://www.theeducationcenter.com/tec/) You can get grade specific magazines and they are filled with fun, educational things you and your DGD could do together! Most of these activities are fun and the kids forget that they're educational. You could even make these activites rewards for after she does her homework instead of before.

I would also step back during homework and allow her to do it herself because it sounds like she is taking for granted that you'll tell her answers if she rushes through. If she genuinely doesn't understand, then you should step in and help.

Also, I feel that the teacher should be more concerned for the genuine well-being of your DGD. It seems that she is taking the situation too lightly. Your GD has been through so much, and this teacher should be offer suggestions to help you be able to help your granddaughter in a more effective way. If this were a student in my classroom, I would definitely be doing more for her. Perhaps the lack of concern from the teacher is felt by your DGD. If a child doesn't like/respect a teacher (or feels that the teacher doesn't like or care for them), the child will not work up to potential for the teacher.

One more thing (I like to talk, can you tell?) there is a great learning center, called Sylvan Learning Center. There are 1100 of them across North America. I am not sure where you are located, so I don't know if there is one close to you, but worth looking into. This would be a great place to take your DGD for some extra reading and math help. The professionals there are great and she would get one on one attention from them in these subject areas. Here is where you can find the locations of Sylvan. (http://tutoring.sylvanlearning.com/find_a_center.cfm )

You are a wonderful person for caring so much. I teach so many children that don't have anyone to care for them, so I know just how lucky your DGD is! Keep up the great work you are doing!

 

[kellyg403]

I would google "innattentive ADHD" and just see if the symptoms match what you see at home. Her history will complicate a diagnosis but you also don't want to ignore a real problem if it's there. Hang in there, you're doing a wonderful thing!

Very interesting! I will mention that early on, a couple weeks into her coming we realized that when we give her directions, we have to ask her to repeat them back to us. We were thinking we were not speaking clearly, not on her level etc. We could say dgd we need you to pick up your room before you go out and play. We would send her up the stairs. I would go up to help after about 15 minutes and she would be sitting there. I would ask if she was picking up her room, and she would say to me I didn't know that you meant for me to clean up my room. So now, when I ask her to do something, in case I have said a word she is not familiar with or used in a way she hasn't heard before, I have her repeat the instructions back just in case. A couple times what she heard and what I thought I said were totally different! I am learning all over how to speak 'child'... But, a few times I actually don't think, even looking 'at' me she really was listening. Which I am quite sure is appropriate. She also does not stay engaged in one task for very long. She flits and flutters a lot if that makes sense. But also, I would think age appropriate. Very little holds her interest for long except for playing at the park. She could do that for hours!

Kelly

 

[iwrbnd]

Very interesting! I will mention that early on, a couple weeks into her coming we realized that when we give her directions, we have to ask her to repeat them back to us. We were thinking we were not speaking clearly, not on her level etc. We could say dgd we need you to pick up your room before you go out and play. We would send her up the stairs. I would go up to help after about 15 minutes and she would be sitting there. I would ask if she was picking up her room, and she would say to me I didn't know that you meant for me to clean up my room. So now, when I ask her to do something, in case I have said a word she is not familiar with or used in a way she hasn't heard before, I have her repeat the instructions back just in case. A couple times what she heard and what I thought I said were totally different! I am learning all over how to speak 'child'... But, a few times I actually don't think, even looking 'at' me she really was listening. Which I am quite sure is appropriate. She also does not stay engaged in one task for very long. She flits and flutters a lot if that makes sense. But also, I would think age appropriate. Very little holds her interest for long except for playing at the park. She could do that for hours!

Kelly

One thing children with ADD struggle with is "active memory" which is different than "rote memory" which they tend to be very good at. Active memory requires you to remember something just long enough to complete the task. Multiple step directions usually floors them, too. You will also see disorganization, forgetfulness, messy handwriting and trouble with social cues. They don't need to have all of these and there are many more things to look for, I'm just naming a few off.

My oldest son has innattentive ADD. He was always such a sweet and calm child that I never would have thought of this but I finally took him for an evaluation when he was in 1st grade. I was tired of disciplining him for things I felt he wasn't doing on purpose! For example, I would tell him to get his shoes on and then find him doing something else. I would about kill the boy until I could see in his eyes there was no defiance at all! We tried everything before finally putting him on meds. I didn't want to do it but I feel it literally saved his life! He could finally live his life without getting in trouble! He became so much happier and thrived! After being on the meds for so many years he's learned what it feels like to stay on task and be successful and has finally gone off them (Junior in high school) and is doing great! Good luck.

Oh, and one more thing, don't expect her teacher to tell you they suspect this because then the school district has to pay for it. If you ask her teacher straight out if you should get her tested for ADD the teacher can legally say "If it was my child I would". At least that's how it is in our school district. Good luck!

Also, I'm not one to think ADD every time a child not "in the box" but once you see a real case and then see them being correctly treated you change your mind. Their brains are just wired differently. Not bad, just different. And it's not just drugging them to get them to behave either so hopefully nobody will flame me here. I have 3 boys and only one has ADD and he happens to be my very quiet/easy going child. My middle son (pictured below) is a wild and crazy frat-boy type of kid that doesn't have ADD plus I LOVE his spirit and would never do anything to "calm him down" because he's a typical, fun-loving boy! ADD, though, is a whole different ballgame that can really hurt their social/emotional and educational development!

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

Very interesting! I will mention that early on, a couple weeks into her coming we realized that when we give her directions, we have to ask her to repeat them back to us. We were thinking we were not speaking clearly, not on her level etc. We could say dgd we need you to pick up your room before you go out and play. We would send her up the stairs. I would go up to help after about 15 minutes and she would be sitting there. I would ask if she was picking up her room, and she would say to me I didn't know that you meant for me to clean up my room. So now, when I ask her to do something, in case I have said a word she is not familiar with or used in a way she hasn't heard before, I have her repeat the instructions back just in case. A couple times what she heard and what I thought I said were totally different! I am learning all over how to speak 'child'... But, a few times I actually don't think, even looking 'at' me she really was listening. Which I am quite sure is appropriate. She also does not stay engaged in one task for very long. She flits and flutters a lot if that makes sense. But also, I would think age appropriate. Very little holds her interest for long except for playing at the park. She could do that for hours!

Kelly

My oldest is 7 and in 2nd grade. I find that "clean up your room" is not specific enough for him. I have to say, "Put all your books back on the shelf. Clean up your checkers. Put away your magic stuff. Put your toys back in your toybox." Kids this age are very literal and need specific directions of what you expect.

He also does not like to come straight home and do his homework. His school hours are 7:50-1:50 and we get home around 2:00. I usually let him decompress for about an hour with reading, playing outside, playing in his room, etc, then try to get him started on his homework around 3:00, then if it's completed by 4:00, he can play his DS or sometimes on my computer. He needs motivation or else he drags it on and on and on and it really frustrates me because he is very bright and can do it quickly, he just doesn't want to.

Have her practice her spelling words tactilely, i.e., spread some plastic on the table and squirt some shaving cream on it and let her write them with her fingers. Some kids learn better that way.

Good luck to you all. I think it's wonderful that you are being a solid, steady influence in her life.

 

[mjkacmom]

One thing children with ADD struggle with is "active memory" which is different than "rote memory" which they tend to be very good at. Active memory requires you to remember something just long enough to complete the task. Multiple step directions usually floors them, too. You will also see disorganization, forgetfulness, messy handwriting and trouble with social cues. They don't need to have all of these and there are many more things to look for, I'm just naming a few off.

My oldest son has innattentive ADD. He was always such a sweet and calm child that I never would have thought of this but I finally took him for an evaluation when he was in 1st grade. I was tired of disciplining him for things I felt he wasn't doing on purpose! For example, I would tell him to get his shoes on and then find him doing something else. I would about kill the boy until I could see in his eyes there was no defiance at all! We tried everything before finally putting him on meds. I didn't want to do it but I feel it literally saved his life! He could finally live his life without getting in trouble! He became so much happier and thrived! After being on the meds for so many years he's learned what it feels like to stay on task and be successful and has finally gone off them (Junior in high school) and is doing great! Good luck.

Oh, and one more thing, don't expect her teacher to tell you they suspect this because then the school district has to pay for it. If you ask her teacher straight out if you should get her tested for ADD the teacher can legally say "If it was my child I would". At least that's how it is in our school district. Good luck!

LOL about the shoes! If they aren't right in front of him, and he has to go looking, he'll take one walk-about, and then sit down on the couch, and watch TV. Even DH, undiagnosed ADD, can't do 2 step directions (if I ask him to bring up the laundry and turn off the light, it will be one or the other). I told him I wanted him medicated, too!

 

[ShannonMB]

I just thought of another thing with the homework, if you don't mind my chiming in again. If she is just filling in answers so that you will be forced to sit with her and correct them/work with her on them, maybe she is enjoying that attention. You sitting down with her, working together on something, focusing all attention on her. It seems like such a simple thing, but if I had to guess, her parents probably weren't good with one on one quality time. She is probably starved for this! She also might be testing you. *Maybe if gma and gpa see I'm no good at this stuff, they'll just forget about it and we won't have to bother with it*. I really believe if you continue to stress how important this is to you and continue to make homework a positive but necessary thing, she'll get the hang of it.

 

[iwrbnd]

LOL about the shoes! If they aren't right in front of him, and he has to go looking, he'll take one walk-about, and then sit down on the couch, and watch TV. Even DH, undiagnosed ADD, can't do 2 step directions (if I ask him to bring up the laundry and turn off the light, it will be one or the other). I told him I wanted him medicated, too!

That can also be listed as a symptom under "male gender"! I call it "Stop looking like a man!"

 

[jen2207]

My son had problems in 2nd and 3rd grade holding his attention. He is not ADD or ADHD or any problems. Just a typical boy. I struggled and argued and threatened and tried a reward system all to luke warm response.

So this year (4th grade) I just determined that doing homework at home was just too distracting. It was like as soon as his feet hit the doorstep - his brain turned off on school work and couldn't get it back on. So I now have him either go to his dad's office right after school, or to the library. It has been a tremendous change for him. Partly because I think the structure and atmosphere of the library or his dad's office makes him slow down and work.

All year we have promised him a cell phone if he gets straight As. He gets his quarterly report card tomorrow and I have already checked his grade online - HE DID IT!!!! So he gets to pick out a cell phone next week.

I think having a different environment from home to do his work was a great help. But also I admit, part of it was just that he is growing up too.

If the library thing hadn't worked, my next option was going to be to go to Sylvan Learning Center, or something like that.

Good Luck!!

 

[gower525]

Hi, I am a 2nd grade teacher and I have my own third grader. While some of this sounds like normal 2nd grade type behavior, I am noticing some warning signs. You need to have a conference with the teacher. The school cannot (in our district) diagnose ADD or ADHD. We can only recommend that you speak with your pediatrician. That sounds like a possibility, however it is hard to tell with so much going on in her life. I am more concerned with her inability to retain info. Did you mean that she literally couldn't respond to 2+2 without a long pause? If so, that Is well below a 2nd grade math level. We expect 2nd graders to solve a page of simple addition (30 problems) in 1 1/2 minutes. We are currently adding and subtracting double digit numbers with and without regrouping. 50% on a spelling test is an F. The school (after lots of paperwork) can give her some tests to see if she perhaps has some sort of learning disability. If so, they are required to provide her some additional resources. Do you know her reading level? Our district expects a second grader to be at a level 24 by the end of the year. If the school does not suspect a learning disability, then I would consider retaining her. Again, just speak with the teacher and let her know how concerned you are. Good luck. Feel free to ask me specific questions about 2nd grade expectations.

 

[kellyg403]

Hi, I am a 2nd grade teacher and I have my own third grader. While some of this sounds like normal 2nd grade type behavior, I am noticing some warning signs. You need to have a conference with the teacher. The school cannot (in our district) diagnose ADD or ADHD. We can only recommend that you speak with your pediatrician. That sounds like a possibility, however it is hard to tell with so much going on in her life. I am more concerned with her inability to retain info. Did you mean that she literally couldn't respond to 2+2 without a long pause? If so, that Is well below a 2nd grade math level. We expect 2nd graders to solve a page of simple addition (30 problems) in 1 1/2 minutes. We are currently adding and subtracting double digit numbers with and without regrouping. 50% on a spelling test is an F. The school (after lots of paperwork) can give her some tests to see if she perhaps has some sort of learning disability. If so, they are required to provide her some additional resources. Do you know her reading level? Our district expects a second grader to be at a level 24 by the end of the year. If the school does not suspect a learning disability, then I would consider retaining her. Again, just speak with the teacher and let her know how concerned you are. Good luck. Feel free to ask me specific questions about 2nd grade expectations.

Yes, a very long pause. She does get the right answer but, only after much thought. We also have been having issues with subtraction, but only say 10-5 or 12-4. If the number is over ten and she can not use her fingers she will not get the answer. Most of her work in the last week has been borrowing etc. I have tried explaining that it might be easier to say 4 + what equals 12? But I confused her more. Her reading level is probably high first grade. She is having 'comprehension' issues. Any chapter books and she can read 6 pages but not be able to tell me what it was about. For example, she read a story about a mouse's shadow. It had him jumping on the bed etc. She wrote on her summary sheet the mouse had a shadow that moved in an out. So we sat and reread the book. Aloud. I asked questions every page, what is he doing now, where is he going to go next do you think. She redid the summary and did perfectly! Her teacher did tell us that her time tests are poor. One of the reasons she has issues with the spelling tests is also because she thinks so much on the first two, that she will miss three and four totally. The others are spelled wrong. Tonight we did the spelling words again. Trying what another recommended, writing c then co then cou and having her say them out loud. She missed four the first time we tried and then the second time all of them again. She still wants to use the 'f' instead of the gh/ph and I also did what another mentioned and just laid it out there only ph/gh no f's in any word.

I emailed the teacher today. Hopefully she will be able to get back to me. I did request a conference, did ask about tutoring and also asked if there was a possibility she could spend a little more time 'noticing' where we may 'really' be. I.e, should I start over in math with basic 2+2? Start using a timer???

THanks for all your help!
Kelly

 

[kellyg403]

Do you mind if I ask what your DGD does at the after school program? Do they tutor, work on homework, or is it a time to rest, play with friends, etc? I am asking because I am a teacher and our after school program is where students are tutored by teachers or high school students in honor society. Just curious.

I was thinking that if your DGD is working on school work/being tutored for that additional time after school until 5:00, she may just absolutely be burned out by the time she gets home. Try allowing her to take a break and do a fun activity with her when you get home. (I know time is limited after 5:00 because of making dinner, etc. so this may be hard to fit in) There is a magazine that I use as a teacher sometimes called The Mailbox. (you can find it at http://www.theeducationcenter.com/tec/) You can get grade specific magazines and they are filled with fun, educational things you and your DGD could do together! Most of these activities are fun and the kids forget that they're educational. You could even make these activites rewards for after she does her homework instead of before.

I would also step back during homework and allow her to do it herself because it sounds like she is taking for granted that you'll tell her answers if she rushes through. If she genuinely doesn't understand, then you should step in and help.

Also, I feel that the teacher should be more concerned for the genuine well-being of your DGD. It seems that she is taking the situation too lightly. Your GD has been through so much, and this teacher should be offer suggestions to help you be able to help your granddaughter in a more effective way. If this were a student in my classroom, I would definitely be doing more for her. Perhaps the lack of concern from the teacher is felt by your DGD. If a child doesn't like/respect a teacher (or feels that the teacher doesn't like or care for them), the child will not work up to potential for the teacher.

One more thing (I like to talk, can you tell?) there is a great learning center, called Sylvan Learning Center. There are 1100 of them across North America. I am not sure where you are located, so I don't know if there is one close to you, but worth looking into. This would be a great place to take your DGD for some extra reading and math help. The professionals there are great and she would get one on one attention from them in these subject areas. Here is where you can find the locations of Sylvan. (http://tutoring.sylvanlearning.com/find_a_center.cfm )

You are a wonderful person for caring so much. I teach so many children that don't have anyone to care for them, so I know just how lucky your DGD is! Keep up the great work you are doing!

Her afterschool program is actually daycare, her parents were opposed to daycare so we kinda spun it has 'fun school' for her. She gets to play. They ride a bus from school to the center so it solved some logistical problems for us in the beginning. We were running around like chickens with our heads cut off for that week. I also felt that she need the social experiences to start to heal. Friends and playing at this age is so important in my view. For her even more so. We have no younger neighbor kids, we moved here when our kids were younger and all of the neighbors children and ours grew up together. We don't even have friends with children or grandchildren this age. Typically they are 4 and younger. So, getting her with children her own age to just be a kid felt like a priority at the time and to ease a little of the stress we were experiencing.

I will definitely start looking into Sylvan or something similar. With attny's fees and the added expense of daycare, right now we are stretched to the limit. We can not add her to our health insurance until we get a court ruling so we have moved some of our emergency money to medical fund to get a physical and eye test. I inadvertently scared her by telling her we were going to go to the dentist to get a cleaning. She has never been to a dentist and I did not know that. So, that will have to wait for a few weeks. As you have probably guessed the parental issues are serious.

Thanks for all your kind words and helpful advice, I will be hoping to have that conference with her teacher next week.

Kelly

 

[kellyg403]

That can also be listed as a symptom under "male gender"! I call it "Stop looking like a man!"

my two teen sons, 16 and 14 are very, very much like this. If I don't specify the exact location..well..it won't be found!

I tend to want to throw in the xbox, call of duty every other word so I know I actually am getting their attention!

 

[kellyg403]

I just thought of another thing with the homework, if you don't mind my chiming in again. If she is just filling in answers so that you will be forced to sit with her and correct them/work with her on them, maybe she is enjoying that attention. You sitting down with her, working together on something, focusing all attention on her. It seems like such a simple thing, but if I had to guess, her parents probably weren't good with one on one quality time. She is probably starved for this! She also might be testing you. *Maybe if gma and gpa see I'm no good at this stuff, they'll just forget about it and we won't have to bother with it*. I really believe if you continue to stress how important this is to you and continue to make homework a positive but necessary thing, she'll get the hang of it.

I am not sure either which possibilty is correct! It could very well be a little bit of both. Actually, it has been her and her parents against the world since she was born. They really have never worked so they were together 24/7 as much as possible. Attendance at school was one of the issues that resulted in dgd current situation. This is why I am thinking it has more to do with being 'behind' as opposed to a disability. But, I really don't want to rule that out either so we can catch and deal with it. She is a smart little girl, very very good. You could not ask for a more polite girl. Self sufficient in so many ways. She eats great, everything I was worried about. She has only cried the first week for her parents. Since she very rarely even talks about them except in passing. Sometimes we talk about them and that right now they want her to stay with us so they can get their lives together a little bit and they want her to be safe until they can. We have taken the spare bedroom and turned into an Icarly showcase! We tried having her go to her desk but out of sight equaled not much work getting done. We would find her an hour later, no homework done and she would be playing with her zhu zhu pets instead. So we have her at the dining table where we can supervise from the living room. I am using the less is more approach and let her come to me when she wants to talk about it. I think she is smart enough that she is doing some breaking down of the situation. She even told dh a few days ago that she thinks she will go back to her parents house when they have a house and a job to take care of her. We haven't said that but somewhere along the line she thought of this.

Kelly

 

[Ericandjenng]

Sorry, I didn't read the whole thread and I may be repeating someone else's suggestion. Do you have any close friends or know of any teenagers (ie. church friends, neighbor's kids, etc) that would be willing to act as a big sister/brother role? They may have better luck getting her to focus on things like homework.

Hang in there!!! You're doing a great thing!

 

[Erin1700]

I also want to add from my previous post...you might want to pick just one thing to work on at a time. It is too much to try to fix her reading, math and spelling problems all at once. This weekend work on math maybe, next weekend forcus on something else.