OT: What bizarre / funny "rules" do you have in your house?

[Missoutandabout]

We've only got one 3 year old but have found ourselves imposing various strange rules in our household for quite some time now. Both my husband and I, upon actually speaking the words, had moments of "Seriously, did I just say that?" You know, that exact point in time when you realize how alternate-universe parenting can be. Anyway, if these rules weren't enforced, I'm pretty positive the world would implode from her naughtiness.

Some of the rules I refer to:

• No "beat-boxing" at the table.
• No painting with boogers on the windows.

What are some of your bizarre household rules?

 

[Debbie7452]

NO dancing in the kitchen!!
NO dancing in front of the TV!!
NO dancing during dinner!!

Seriously....just STOP dancing!!

We sound grumpy don't we...we have two high school daughters who dance on the drill team and in competitions and they are just constantly dancing all over the place. Sometimes it just gets annoying (and dangerous...RE: the kitchen rule)

 

[badblackpug]

No flushing anything that didn't come out of your bottom.

This was instituted after an Ipod and a DSi went for a "swim."

 

[princessmom29]

NO dancing in the kitchen!!
NO dancing in front of the TV!!
NO dancing during dinner!!

Seriously....just STOP dancing!!

We sound grumpy don't we...we have two high school daughters who dance on the drill team and in competitions and they are just constantly dancing all over the place. Sometimes it just gets annoying (and dangerous...RE: the kitchen rule)

My DD6 is a dancer. We have those plus
NO dancing with anything breakable.
The result of a snowglobe casualty.

 

[debraW76]

We've always had the rule "Shirts must be worn at the dinner table"

This was recently modified to "Shirts AND PANTS must be worn at the dinner table" when my 7 year old showed up with just a shirt and undies.

We have 4 boys so we also have the rule "Don't touch *yourself* at the dinner table"

No pole vaulting across the ditch.

No riding my laundry baskets down the stairs

No riding anything down the stairs

No sitting on the shelves in the closets

"Going out" clothes means clothes that match and just because your pants are yellow and your shirt has yellow in it doesn't mean it matches

No going outside in just your white socks

Do not sit in such a way that people can see your but

If you make an imaginary cupcake and pretend eat it in front of your siblings then you have to make an imaginary cupcake for your siblings also.

If your brother asks for an imaginary vanilla cupcake, then you can't pretend to make a chocolate one just to trick him

 

[POOHDRMR]

No walking to the left of the coffee table after I vacuum because I like to see the marks for at least a day or two-you only need to walk on the one side to get around the living room.My dd will tell people when they come over -don't walk over there my mom just vacuumed!!Everyone thinks I am crazy!!

 

[3BoysRDisneyFreaks]

I have 4 boys and I found myself saying "no rubbing your *tinkler* on the patio door" last weekend to the 4 year old. I guess it is now a new rule.

Sarah

 

[Bitsmommy]

No sitting in the refrigerator.

No eating from the dog bowl.

The slit in your underwear isn't a pocket and shouldn't be used as such. If you do use it as a pocket when mom isn't looking, DO NOT drive the Thomas the Train that you just had in your "pocket" in my clean cereal bowls. It isn't a pocket and those AREN'T Canyons.
Yes, I know it is gross, but it happens in my house!!!!

Keep your hand out of your "pocket" and off your "goober"

As you can tell, I have a boy that doesn't like clothes very much!

 

[mom2faith]

I can only think of one - but it works so far:

Pick your nose in the bathroom only.

Kids are going to pick those boogers, but it has to be in the bathroom and hands must be washed afterwards.

 

[Missoutandabout]

These are absolutely classic. Literally laughing out loud here. I'm glad to see "the crazy" is so widespread.

 

[Jdougherty]

1. The dog is not a stool/couch/horse or to be ridden (fat beagle)

 

[mjkacmom]

I've been really trying to enforce the no soccer/football/handball in the living room, but it's a losing battle...

 

[CruisinEars]

For my dd9 we have no roller blading in the house after 8:30pm.

She loves to skate around the kitchen island and my hubby goes to bed around 8:30.

 

[sk!mom]

If you make an imaginary cupcake and pretend eat it in front of your siblings then you have to make an imaginary cupcake for your siblings also.

If your brother asks for an imaginary vanilla cupcake, then you can't pretend to make a chocolate one just to trick him

That's awesome! I have two "only" children (11 years between them) so I never had the need for cool rules like that but I grew up with 4 siblings so I completely understand it!


I can't really think of any funny rules but friends always laugh when they here that everyone in this house must shamwow the shower after each use, and everyone loves my "if you eat a meal then you must either help cook it or be on the clean up crew."

I'm the only cook so that rule has saved me 25 years of dinner dishes. DD14 wised up in the past year and has joined the cooking crew any time that she's home. I love that- more fun to cook with company. Oh, and lest anyone think I'm mean, DH came up with the dinner rule and he fully embraces the shamwow rule since we had our bathrooms remodeled. He, also, wants to shower together a lot more. He tries to act romantic but I'm on to him. It takes me longer so he's out first and I'm left to shamwow.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Not IN the house but I found myself telling DGS 3 he is not to allowed to hit DS during the prayers at church .DS of course wanted to know if he was allowed to hit him AFTER the prayers!!

 

[Happy Mom2]

My family thinks I'm crazy because I am literally LOL!!

 

[disykat]

"No blowing on the dog's bottom." Seriously, why they think this is funny is beyond me!

This one is probably common, but we also have "no farting at the dinner table." I have a "fart jar" and anyone who lets loose during dinner owes me a dollar in the jar.

Every once in a while I take myself out for coffee. Honestly, as the only girl in an all boy family - I deserve it!

 

[AJRitz]

We've always had the rule "Shirts must be worn at the dinner table"

We had that rule when I was growing up - until the night my middle brother managed to get Spaghetti sauce on the BACK of his shirt. Then an addendum to the rule was added that middle brother was PROHIBITED from wearing a shirt at the table on spaghetti nights.

Favorites around here include:

1. No using your food as a musical instrument. (Everything DS3 puts to his lips is a wind or brass instrument in his mind).

2. When dresses no longer fit, they go in the garage sale/donate pile. They do NOT just get moved to your shirt drawer. (DD7 gets very attached to her clothes)

3. Corollary to #2 - when the sole is peeling off your shoe, the shoes go in the trash.

4. People are friends, not food! (DS3 had some biting issues there for a while)

5. You are not a frog, and the living room furniture is not lily pads.

 

[dzorn]

No flushing anything that didn't come out of your bottom.

This was instituted after an Ipod and a DSi went for a "swim."

You realize that is an issue with the toilet paper? I prefer than flushed too.

Denise in MI

 

[MomtoAlexnWilliam]

I love this!!! Thanks for the laughs!