OT - Vent - Teacher's Version of School Wellness Policy

[crisi]

A lot of you seem to be advocating setting up an advesarial relationship with the teacher. ("Telling her exactly what you think of the contract" is a statement that comes to mind.) I like to think that the teachers and I work in partnership. And that in that partnership I have to respect her sphere of control. For once thing, if I set up the relationship as adversarial, I shouldn't be surprised when my kid gets stuck sitting next to a disruptive kid, when the teacher refuses to pre-prep homework when I pull my child for a few days, or when my kid isn't getting the benefit of the doubt on grading.

Teachers have a lot of ways to make my life, and my child's life, easier or more difficult. I wouldn't pick a battle on a "healthy snacks contract" that I fundamentally agree with early in the school year.

 

[edk35]

Yeah, the lunches they serve aren't exactly healthy - and my DS buys lunch every day - usually he skips the main lunch gets the alternate which is either a hotdog or pizza - so there was that irony as well.

And truly, I don't have a problem with the requesting healthy snacks, but to make it what is essentially a contract - that's what I have a problem with.

My son just started middle school. Besides the REGULAR school lunch. THEY can get these HUGE pizza slices, nachos with cheese sauce, mozzarella sticks, chips, cookies and even Ice-cream. No wonder he no longer wants to take lunch. Apparently it is NOT cool to take your lunch in middle school. In elementary school he bought lunch like 2 times a week. Our oldest son who is a jr. in high school has NOT taken lunch since 5th grade. He eats the same exact lunch every single day. He gets 2 or 3 soft pretzels and a bag of baked Lays chips. ALL CARBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I went to school we had REAL food.

 

[luvmy3]

A lot of you seem to be advocating setting up an advesarial relationship with the teacher. ("Telling her exactly what you think of the contract" is a statement that comes to mind.) I like to think that the teachers and I work in partnership. And that in that partnership I have to respect her sphere of control. For once thing, if I set up the relationship as adversarial, I shouldn't be surprised when my kid gets stuck sitting next to a disruptive kid, when the teacher refuses to pre-prep homework when I pull my child for a few days, or when my kid isn't getting the benefit of the doubt on grading.

Teachers have a lot of ways to make my life, and my child's life, easier or more difficult. I wouldn't pick a battle on a "healthy snacks contract" that I fundamentally agree with early in the school year.

Making a parent sign a contract stating they will only send in healthy snacks and lunches is not in her "sphere of control" though, that the issue many pp's have. If she wants to limit snacks to only what she deems healthy then she needs to detail exactly what that is, like others here have shown whats healthy to one, is not to another. The teacher has no right to "control" what a family decides is healthy, although she has the right to control what comes into her classroom. She has absolutley no right to tell a parent what to pack for their child's lunch, though. The contract was the wrong way to do that in many of our opinions, and as a parent I think its our job to have open communication with the teachers so they understand why we feel the way we do, so there really is nothing wrong with telling her what is thought of the contract. That is exactly what a partnership is IMHO. (Unless you would want to tell her what she could do with the contract, then I think that would definitey set up an adversarial relationship).

 

[crisi]

Making a parent sign a contract stating they will only send in healthy snacks and lunches is not in her "sphere of control" though, that the issue many pp's have. If she wants to limit snacks to only what she deems healthy then she needs to detail exactly what that is, like others here have shown whats healthy to one, is not to another. The teacher has no right to "control" what a family decides is healthy, although she has the right to control what comes into her classroom. She has absolutley no right to tell a parent what to pack for their child's lunch, though. The contract was the wrong way to do that in many of our opinions, and as a parent I think its our job to have open communication with the teachers so they understand why we feel the way we do, so there really is nothing wrong with telling her what is thought of the contract. That is exactly what a partnership is IMHO. (Unless you would want to tell her what she could do with the contract, then I think that would definitey set up an adversarial relationship).

She absolutely does have a right to define healthy within her own classroom. That is within her sphere of control. If you disagree with her as a parent, you can have a dialog with your children at home about what your family considers healthy and why and how this differs than the teachers, while respecting the teachers right to control and manage her own classroom.

And of course schools have established a right to tell you what you can't pack in a child's lunch - schools all over the country are "peanut free." Its been established that the schools can control what is "healthy" for the school population.

 

[luvmy3]

She absolutely does have a right to define healthy within her own classroom. That is within her sphere of control. If you disagree with her as a parent, you can have a dialog with your children at home about what your family considers healthy and why and how this differs than the teachers, while respecting the teachers right to control and manage her own classroom.

And of course schools have established a right to tell you what you can't pack in a child's lunch - schools all over the country are "peanut free." Its been established that the schools can control what is "healthy" for the school population.

I'm not disputing that however she hasn't listed what is or isn't healthy. What happens when a parent sends in a snack that they fee is healthy, and the teacher disagrees? Who is right? If the teacher wants to set rules as to what is allowed, i.e- no soda, no candy, etc thats one thing, by having that contract she is leaving it up to the parent to decide what healthy is for their child but giving herself absolute authority to say no sorry that isn't what I consider healthy when something is sent in.
Telling a parent to only send in helathy snacks and lunches is not controlling her classroom, its trying to control the parent. Making a rule of exactly whats not allowed in her classroom at snacktime (leave lunches completely out of it), and letting the parent decide whats a healthy option (not found on the list) for their own child, thats controlling her classroom.

You can't compare "healthy eating habits" with a LTFA, one can kill within a matter of minutes.

 

[crisi]

I'm not disputing that however she hasn't listed what is or isn't healthy. What happens when a parent sends in a snack that they fee is healthy, and the teacher disagrees? Who is right? If the teacher wants to set rules as to what is allowed, i.e- no soda, no candy, etc thats one thing, by having that contract she is leaving it up to the parent to decide what healthy is for their child but giving herself absolute authority to say no sorry that isn't what I consider healthy when something is sent in.
Telling a parent to only send in helathy snacks and lunches is not controlling her classroom, its trying to control the parent. Making a rule of exactly whats not allowed in her classroom at snacktime (leave lunches completely out of it), and letting the parent decide whats a healthy option (not found on the list) for their own child, thats controlling her classroom.

You can't compare "healthy eating habits" with a LTFA, one can kill within a matter of minutes.

And one kills over years, but kills many more people - and much younger than previously, affects the health of the majority of the population, increases medical costs for society. And unlike a peanut allergy, that a child will eventually learn to self audit and be able to avoid situations on their own, most data suggests that if bad eating habits are established in childhood, they are set.

Some parents do a lousy job of determining what is healthy. If there is something you think is healthy that isn't on the list, send it and see what happens or email her about it with your rationale of why its healthy.

And again, why create an adversarial relationship with your child's teacher over snacks? If having that level of control over your child is really that important to you, maybe public school isn't the right place for you and your child?

 

[punkin]

A lot of you seem to be advocating setting up an advesarial relationship with the teacher. ("Telling her exactly what you think of the contract" is a statement that comes to mind.) I like to think that the teachers and I work in partnership. And that in that partnership I have to respect her sphere of control. For once thing, if I set up the relationship as adversarial, I shouldn't be surprised when my kid gets stuck sitting next to a disruptive kid, when the teacher refuses to pre-prep homework when I pull my child for a few days, or when my kid isn't getting the benefit of the doubt on grading.

Teachers have a lot of ways to make my life, and my child's life, easier or more difficult. I wouldn't pick a battle on a "healthy snacks contract" that I fundamentally agree with early in the school year.

This is so true. I have had many battles with many teachers over the years, but only over things that were vital to my child's education and well being. This is so minor, it wouldn't even blip on my radar in the grand scheme of things.

 

[krcit]

Sure they are allowed, but they don't. I mean, if little Mike (who is allergic to bananas) can have goldfish(provided by me), why can't little Johnny? Shoot, the parents were supposed to send in individual snacks for the first two weeks, since we were waiting for a final class list before making the schedule. Only about 1/2 the parents sent anything, so I had to either buy some snacks or have kids crying because they were hungry.

I'm starting to be sorry that I named my son Johnny That is always the name used in these type of threads....should've named him Brian like I wanted to

 

[luvmy3]

And one kills over years, but kills many more people - and much younger than previously, affects the health of the majority of the population, increases medical costs for society. And unlike a peanut allergy, that a child will eventually learn to self audit and be able to avoid situations on their own, most data suggests that if bad eating habits are established in childhood, they are set.

Some parents do a lousy job of determining what is healthy. If there is something you think is healthy that isn't on the list, send it and see what happens or email her about it with your rationale of why its healthy.

And again, why create an adversarial relationship with your child's teacher over snacks? If having that level of control over your child is really that important to you, maybe public school isn't the right place for you and your child?

You still can't compare how the school handles those situations. Poor eating habits can be controlled, a LFTA cannot, so the school has a responsibility to keep the students with them safe while they are in their care. Poor eating habits doesn't require that kind of control by the school, however they are required to educate and can easily do that when it comes to poor eating habits. If they were truly concerned with helping those kids who need it when it comes to nutrition, and were less concerned with overstepping their boundaries and controlling what we do with our children, they would revamp the whole school lunch system. Until they do that "talk is cheap" as they say.

You are right some parents do a lousy job of determining whats healthy for their child however its not the teachers job to determine what is healthy for their students, other people's children. If I send my kids to school with chocolate milk and a nutrigrain bar, thats my choice for my kids, the teacher doesn't get to decide that my kid isn't allowed to have that because she feels its unhealthy. If its on a banned list fine, but unless it is specifically noted what she deems unhealthy, she has no right to decide for me and my child what they should be eating when I send it in with them. I also don't have to explain to her why I think its healthy, thats so not her business. However if she was going to tell my child they couldn't have what mom sent in because it was unhealthy, she should be the one explaining why.

And again, I don't feel discussing and bringing up concerns I have with a what a teacher expects of me creates and adversarial relationship. I think in this circumstance the teacher expecting that contract to be signed has already done that to every parent of a child in that class.

 

[torinsmom]

I'm starting to be sorry that I named my son Johnny That is always the name used in these type of threads....should've named him Brian like I wanted to

Sorry If its any help, I have never had a Johnny in my class. Maybe that's why I picked that one.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm starting to be sorry that I named my son Johnny That is always the name used in these type of threads....should've named him Brian like I wanted to

Sorry

 

[scbelleatheart]

I have found this entire thread extemely interesting. I agree with many of the posters. My last two are in college now (both athletes) but I remember the school lunches were anything but healthy. I think a mid morning snack is a good thing and for many different reasons but to define "healthy" is difficult.
Before snacks, back in the 70's, my mother got permission for my sister to get a "snack" around 9am. Her snack was a hard boiled egg. We were a family except my father who refused to eat first thing in the morning. I compromised by eating a hamburger patty no bun as I drove to school. Sis had her egg at school.
School breakfast now is french toast sticks, pancakes, breakfast burritos w/potatoes, hash browns all foods I think are unhealthy.
Define "healthy"? Everyone has a different concept, especially the USDA and school lunch program.

 

[abs730]

This may have been stated, just started reading the posts but someone mentioned that demanding healthy snacks is not about control of the classroom but about control of the parents from the teacher I totally disagree. Do you know how children behave differently after eating junk food? Demanding healthy food is helping to keep control of her classroom with less interruptions, and tiredness when they crash from all that sugar. I am a teacher and in the district children may not bring candy to school for their lunch or snack.

 

[MomToOne]

A lot of you seem to be advocating setting up an advesarial relationship with the teacher. ("Telling her exactly what you think of the contract" is a statement that comes to mind.) I like to think that the teachers and I work in partnership. And that in that partnership I have to respect her sphere of control. For once thing, if I set up the relationship as adversarial, I shouldn't be surprised when my kid gets stuck sitting next to a disruptive kid, when the teacher refuses to pre-prep homework when I pull my child for a few days, or when my kid isn't getting the benefit of the doubt on grading.

Teachers have a lot of ways to make my life, and my child's life, easier or more difficult. I wouldn't pick a battle on a "healthy snacks contract" that I fundamentally agree with early in the school year.

Seems to me the teacher has set up the adversarial relationship here, by demanding a contract to be signed. She could have just as simply written a letter explaining she wanted only healthy snacks, and giving the reasons why. It would be as effective as any fake "contract" - any parent that will ignore the letter will also ignore the contract.

The saying "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" comes to mind here. Also, education also tends to be more effective at getting compliance than authoritative demands - how about sending home some information from a third party that discusses the benefits of healthy snacks vs. the problems caused by non-healthy?

 

[tinkarooni]

I have read the whole thread and am still not sure if I would sign. The contract she asked you to sign seems way to vague for many of the reasons people talked about already. I can say for sure though that I also would not make a stink so to speak. Whether I agree with the teacher about this issue or not she will be in charge of my child all year long. I would try to keep it on an even keel and address it with a positive tone. Maybe simply ask the teacher to define what she's talking about. Maybe a no candy, soda or chips policy would be better.

I really posted because I wanted to comment as others have about the food in middle and high school. My DS12 is a middle schooler who started this year. The cafeteria is ridiculous as well. Nachos, Pizza, Slushies, Ice cream, French fries and burgers everyday. Sure they have a salad bar but no one seems to eat from it. I am super proud of my son who has decided he still wants to mostly take his lunch, he buys maybe once a week and we compromised on one "extra" every two weeks. Extra being the aforementioned crap. I think that it is a reasonable compromise we reached and he gets some freedom. I'm really proud that so far all my teaching about healthy eating has sunk in even though the school in my opinion is doing just the wrong wrong wrong thing with school lunches. Now my younger DD10, she is still a challenge with eating. We'll see..... I appreciate that teachers are trying, although maybe this teacher is a little misguided, but the problem needs to be fixed at the top, the cafeteria dishes up way worse stuff every day to lots of children. How come the schools aren't worried about that?

 

[tlbwriter]

This is really an issue?
Johnny can't go on the swings so he stands there and pouts until Jane gets off or Johnny goes and plays on the slide, or the monkey bars, or the rock wall, or the fireman pole, or the ....... or the......... There are a ton of other things kids can be doing on the playground, sitting there sulking because they can't go on the swings is not a good thing, however that has nothing to do with the lack of options, it has to do with the parents who let their child believe tha they always should get what they want when they want it.

Actually, I think we're saying the same thing. It doesn't matter if swings are there or not. There's something else to do. So why get your panties in a knot because the swings are removed?

 

[crisi]

Seems to me the teacher has set up the adversarial relationship here, by demanding a contract to be signed. She could have just as simply written a letter explaining she wanted only healthy snacks, and giving the reasons why. It would be as effective as any fake "contract" - any parent that will ignore the letter will also ignore the contract.

The saying "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" comes to mind here. Also, education also tends to be more effective at getting compliance than authoritative demands - how about sending home some information from a third party that discusses the benefits of healthy snacks vs. the problems caused by non-healthy?

My kids get "contracts" all the time. We get them to from the school. Its part of the "I read the rules and I understand the rules" that establishes communication that is often lacking in our school system. So I don't find anything odd about the idea of a contract. And I'm frankly surprised you all do - I got contracts back when I was a kid - in the 1970s and 1980s. This isn't a new classroom management strategy.

One worked wonders last year for my daughter who was having a hard time remembering to turn in homework. It laid out the expectations for her, for me, and for the teacher.