OT: Tweens shaving legs

[SEA333]

Hi All,

I know this is OT, but my 9 1/2 year old 4th grade DD was told at school that her legs are hairy, so of course she came home crying her eyes out. Sigh. Her legs look fine to me, but she does have dark brown hair, so of course her leg hair will be darker( more noticable) than a blondie, which all of her friends happen to be.

Now she wants to shave her legs - I told her she was too young and that once she did it, she would have to keep it up, etc, etc. I've been asking around and getting mixed reviews - some say that 10 is a good age if the girl is bothered by the hair, 11 is more acceptable, and "6th Grade" has been the standard answer. DD will turn 11 the summer between 5th and 6th grade. When I told her she should wait till 6th grade, I about lost her in a puddle of tears LOL

Now I am rethinking it a little....she is very responsible and careful. She has been using knives and cooking with me on a hot stove/oven for years. I think she would be OK with a razor - I would of course supervise her at first.

I was thinking I would tell her that she can start shaving when winter is over this year. She will be just about 10.

Thoughts? When did you, or your daughters start? Any tips or advice?

Thank you!!

 

[happymommy]

That is about when I taught my DD about shaving (she has very dark thick hair - thanks in part to my having thick, but blonde, hair, and my DH is Asian and has very dark hair). She hit puberty about that time, and I really wanted to help her do her underarms.

I had her in the bathtub (I have a huge one, so she used to take baths in there) and did it for her at first for a while. It was just easier that way.

Of course, now, she is a total tomboy and to my dismay, couldn't care less about her legs!

It's pretty safe, but I got some fun shave cream and did it for her at first (she liked the smell of the fruity ones). I think whenever you decide is best for your family works - but I would be sad if she were feeling bad about herself in any way. I hope they weren't teasing her, but sounds like not.

 

[mm1971]

Hi All,

I know this is OT, but my 9 1/2 year old 4th grade DD was told at school that her legs are hairy, so of course she came home crying her eyes out. Sigh. Her legs look fine to me, but she does have dark brown hair, so of course her leg hair will be darker( more noticable) than a blondie, which all of her friends happen to be.

Now she wants to shave her legs - I told her she was too young and that once she did it, she would have to keep it up, etc, etc. I've been asking around and getting mixed reviews - some say that 10 is a good age if the girl is bothered by the hair, 11 is more acceptable, and "6th Grade" has been the standard answer. DD will turn 11 the summer between 5th and 6th grade. When I told her she should wait till 6th grade, I about lost her in a puddle of tears LOL

Now I am rethinking it a little....she is very responsible and careful. She has been using knives and cooking with me on a hot stove/oven for years. I think she would be OK with a razor - I would of course supervise her at first.

I was thinking I would tell her that she can start shaving when winter is over this year. She will be just about 10.

Thoughts? When did you, or your daughters start? Any tips or advice?

Thank you!!

DD will be 11 next month and have not heard any issues so far from her or her friends. I know it doesn't help the decision, but we try to teach DD that it is her choice, not peer pressure or an ignorant school mate that should determine how she behaves, looks, etc.... With us, it has not even been an issue.

Now onto the question. If your DD feels insecure or that it is time, then it is probably time. The time will be different for everyone and the cues will be there. What is the harm if she wants to shave her legs? Is it just the inconvenience? There are other options to shaving with a razor as well. Maybe look into the options and choose what is best.

 

[JessM]

If she wants to shave her legs I would let her and show her how to do it. When I first asked my Mom said no I was too young but obviously I did it anyways with her razors and just soap... ouch.

 

[RoyalMom]

I'm not ready for that yet!

But when the time comes for my daughters to learn to shave, I will most likely get some of those razors with the protective wire over the blade (do they still make those?) like my mom got for me (30-some-odd-years ago) ...

 

[cheer25mom]

If she is asking, it is time! don't make her wait. My mom made me wait until I was 13, and I still vivdly remember how horribly embarasing it was. My DD will be 10 in October and i expect it from her any day. She is a dancer and competitive cheeleader so It is just a matter of time.

 

[SEA333]

If she is asking, it is time! don't make her wait. My mom made me wait until I was 13, and I still vivdly remember how horribly embarasing it was. My DD will be 10 in October and i expect it from her any day. She is a dancer and competitive cheeleader so It is just a matter of time.

Thank you!!! My DD also dances and cheers - and as a matter of fact, she got the idea to shave from one of her cheer friends, who is in 5th grade.

 

[GaBelle]

If she is asking, it is time! don't make her wait. My mom made me wait until I was 13, and I still vivdly remember how horribly embarasing it was. My DD will be 10 in October and i expect it from her any day. She is a dancer and competitive cheeleader so It is just a matter of time.

I agree. If she's asking it's time.

 

[LMN]

My oldest daughter will be 14 next month and came to me a few years back wanting to shave her legs. I really didn't want her to get started with shaving because its such a pain to keep up with, but I knew she was self conscious and didn't want her to suffer thru that either, so we came up with a compromise. I bought her Nair and that is what she used up until a few months ago when she said she really wanted to try shaving. So, she is shaving with razors now, but the approx 1 1/2 years she used Nair worked really, really well. I'll use that plan again in a few years when her little sister gets to that age!

 

[SEA333]

DD will be 11 next month and have not heard any issues so far from her or her friends. I know it doesn't help the decision, but we try to teach DD that it is her choice, not peer pressure or an ignorant school mate that should determine how she behaves, looks, etc.... With us, it has not even been an issue.

Now onto the question. If your DD feels insecure or that it is time, then it is probably time. The time will be different for everyone and the cues will be there. What is the harm if she wants to shave her legs? Is it just the inconvenience? There are other options to shaving with a razor as well. Maybe look into the options and choose what is best.

Thank you! The funny thing is, DD is super independent and a leader, and she has never cared before about what people did or thought, even to the point where I actually had to say at times "You know, sometimes the best leaders know when it's OK to let someone else lead and you follow. Not everyone has to do things your way all the time, and if they don't, you can still play- you don't have to walk away". She really marches to her own drummer (she is a pretty good artist , and you know how they can live in their own world sometimes! LOL), and will take herself out of a situation before doing what she doesn't want to do.

That's why I am re-thinking this...because she *is* so self-led and it is really, really bothering her. If she was a "follow the crowd" kind of girl, I would probably tell her no, wait till she is older.

I really appreciate your input!!

 

[jennyjinx3]

My 9 yo DD has just started shaving her legs ( I mean I help her with it) and we really should be doing her underarms soon too. Same reasons as the OP.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

Alison is almost 10, and I helped her pick out an electric razor when she became self-conscious about her leg hair. She is blond, but it was thick enough to be noticeable.

There are so many other challenges at this age that can't be controlled (periods and pimples are right behind leg hair) that I don't see the harm in helping the child make this one a non-issue.

 

[SEA333]

That is about when I taught my DD about shaving (she has very dark thick hair - thanks in part to my having thick, but blonde, hair, and my DH is Asian and has very dark hair). She hit puberty about that time, and I really wanted to help her do her underarms.

I had her in the bathtub (I have a huge one, so she used to take baths in there) and did it for her at first for a while. It was just easier that way.

Of course, now, she is a total tomboy and to my dismay, couldn't care less about her legs!

It's pretty safe, but I got some fun shave cream and did it for her at first (she liked the smell of the fruity ones). I think whenever you decide is best for your family works - but I would be sad if she were feeling bad about herself in any way. I hope they weren't teasing her, but sounds like not.

Thanks! That's part our issue, too....Even though I have dark-ish brown hair, I have (mostly) Northern European genes and DH has Latin American genes, so our kids all have dark brown hair/eyes, and their skin, while it tans well, is still a lot fair-er (is that a word??!!LOL) than most Latin Americans. DS13 just started shaving back in May because his hair on his face was starting to fill in more and since he is really my most fair-skinned child, it was really getting noticable! LOL I'm still trying to adjust to the fact that my 13 year old is shaving, and now we are dealing with the 9 1/2 year old This childhood thing is going by wayyyy to fast for me!

I don't think the kid was teasing her, really...I think it was just an obnoxious 4th grade observation that the kid probably said in front of everyone and DD got embarrased. It doesn't help, either, that even though we now live in the Western Chicago suburbs, where there is a HUGE hispanic, and other races too, population around us, the area that we live in is a very small community with one elementary school, and (to DD) it seems like everyone she knows has blonde hair LOL It's not true, of course, but her perspective kills me since we have only lived here for 3 years, having moved from a small town of 3000 people in MI where 99% of the population seemed blonde! LOL Kids.

Thank you for your advice!

 

[SEA333]

Thank you, thank you everyone! I think I will take DD to buy a new razor and let her do it this weekend - it is the kids' homecoming weekend for football/cheer, so I will have her do it Friday night so she can look and feel awesome for her games and *I* will be the cool, fun parent over DH for once! LOL (I'm kidding about the last part...kind of....) LOL

And, really, when you think about it, what difference is an extra year of "keeping up with it" (like I was worried about) going to matter when she will be doing it for the next 50 - 60 years anyway??!! At that point, 58 years won't be any less "better" than 59, right?

 

[maplevale]

Hi All,

I know this is OT, but my 9 1/2 year old 4th grade DD was told at school that her legs are hairy, so of course she came home crying her eyes out. Sigh. Her legs look fine to me, but she does have dark brown hair, so of course her leg hair will be darker( more noticable) than a blondie, which all of her friends happen to be.

Now she wants to shave her legs - I told her she was too young and that once she did it, she would have to keep it up, etc, etc. I've been asking around and getting mixed reviews - some say that 10 is a good age if the girl is bothered by the hair, 11 is more acceptable, and "6th Grade" has been the standard answer. DD will turn 11 the summer between 5th and 6th grade. When I told her she should wait till 6th grade, I about lost her in a puddle of tears LOL

Now I am rethinking it a little....she is very responsible and careful. She has been using knives and cooking with me on a hot stove/oven for years. I think she would be OK with a razor - I would of course supervise her at first.

I was thinking I would tell her that she can start shaving when winter is over this year. She will be just about 10.

Thoughts? When did you, or your daughters start? Any tips or advice?

Thank you!!

I was that girl! My mom found out I was shaving (by stealing hers or my dad's razor) in grade 4 when I sliced my leg open.

She bought me an electric razor (which I recently found at her place and brought home for my girls when they get older). It didn't give a nice smooth shave- but it made the hair much less visible and was MUCH safer!

If she wants to use a regular razor - I have much better luck with men's razors (I get them at Costco for a huge pack) and mens shaving cream. Have her sit in the tub and to it (with you around to guide her the first few times) and get a good lotion to put on afterwards.

 

[tlh0726]

My oldest daughter will be 14 next month and came to me a few years back wanting to shave her legs. I really didn't want her to get started with shaving because its such a pain to keep up with, but I knew she was self conscious and didn't want her to suffer thru that either, so we came up with a compromise. I bought her Nair and that is what she used up until a few months ago when she said she really wanted to try shaving. So, she is shaving with razors now, but the approx 1 1/2 years she used Nair worked really, really well. I'll use that plan again in a few years when her little sister gets to that age!

My DD turned 9 beginning of Sept. She asked to shave her legs about 2 weeks ago and I kinda blew it off hoping we would get past warm weather and wouldn't have to address it again till spring.

Using Nair is what I was leaning toward to start with.

 

[maplevale]

My DD turned 9 beginning of Sept. She asked to shave her legs about 2 weeks ago and I kinda blew it off hoping we would get past warm weather and wouldn't have to address it again till spring.

Using Nair is what I was leaning toward to start with.

I would rather teach my kid to shave. I used Nair in high school - used it fine several times, then once I got a severe burn! Not sure what was different.

 

[luvmy3]

OP, there is a razor out there with wires over the blades that dd used when she first started learning. It was a perfect beginner one. Unfortunately I can't remember who makes it.

 

[Hisgirl]

I still remember sneaking off and shaving my legs with my older sister's razor and my best friend's brother brushing up against my knee and yelling, "Dana Shaved Her Legs! Dana Shaved Her Legs!".

I said when my DD was old enough to care then I cared too and that's when she did it. She was 9.

Make sure to teach her about how to stop a cut with bits of tissue and tell her if and when the time comes to get a pedicure, don't shave her legs the day of, so she won't have any tiny nicks exposed to possible germs.

Also mention the leg hair ring in the tub and her new cleaning responsibility. My hubbie can only use a blade 5 times, so I snag his old ones and use them for a month at least, ha!

Your baby is growing up! She'll be a woman soon, la la la la...

 

[ktlm]

I started in 5th grade. My Mom had an electric razor and I "borrowed" it. She wound up buying me my own electric razor and telling me I was not old enough for a manual "blade" razor, but I could use an electric one until I was older. I used it for years before switching. No fear of a kid cutting their legs, yet a kid who was happy to have the hair gone. That is what I will probably do for DD when the time comes. I can't handle the thought of handing a blade over to her at that age!