Thanks y'all, I'm just so stunned. Honestly, I thought she was one of my BFF's; I handmade 5 gifts for my 5 closest friends, and she was one of them. We could call each other, any time, day or night; I've watched her kids when she was sick, she's watched mine when one of them was in the hospital. Another "friend" of ours who in my estimation would have been more on the periphery as we don't share a faith, etc. and who started working over a year ago was there.
The only difference between me and the group there was that I have kids with special needs. And I can't help but wonder if that is the reason we weren't invited, which in a way would make it even worse. None of the others in that social circle have kids with needs. And I just saw her last week when she brought a gift to our house, and she didn't say anything, or seem different. I'm just confused and stunned, and angry at myself that I'm letting it affect my family's Christmas.
Wow, wow, wow! I haven't read any further than here yet, but had to respond to this. We are in a similar situation with our neighborhood friends. We have a group of neighbors that we had been friendly with for several years. There are four families in a group and our house happens to be in the center of the other three. When our kids were small, I started having a Christmas party; the original purpose of which was to meet neighbors who had small children, three of us having moved into the neighborhood within a year or so of each other and started families. It started out great, and we all became friends, as did the kids. We added on a Summer BBQ with fireworks party and as the years went on and the kids started school, more friends were added to the list but the neighbors were always included.
In the last couple of years we have noticed a lot of back and forth between the other three houses - which, of course is very obvious because of the situation of houses. Our kids do not understand at all why they are excluded from the group. DH and I feel it is because DS has ADHD and we have enrolled the kids in a school that will address his needs. His "boisterous" behaviour was commented on from time to time when they were younger, in a somewhat snide way really by two of the dads. It was after we switched their school, though that the exclusion began.
Now, in the interest of neighborhood surface harmony, we continue to invite the three families. This Christmas, only one came and only briefly, which was fine. DH didn't want to include them at all, but I said that would make it worse. He thinks it can't get worse than to see the kids all traipsing back and forth to one house or another and ours not invited along.
I completely understand how you are feeling, Nicole. I was also close to the moms, one in particular in the early years - maternity leave years, I guess. That is the other thing, I think. They are all working moms and we opted for me to stay home. I'm sorry you had such a blatant realization at Christmas. Not a very merry feeling at all! I hope you have enjoyed the holiday with your family and been able to put it out of your mind. I know it will come back again and again and you'll wonder. I sure have over the past two years. DH was much quicker to see the writing on the wall and told me what was what, but I made excuses for a while. Now I am firmly living in reality and look for playmates for the kids from school rather than in the neighborhood. Your situation is a little different in that it was your own friendship rather than friends through your kids.
I'll go on now and read the rest of the thread - I'm sure there will be good advice there that I can steal as well.
Well, see now that is the reason I usually don't respond before reading through the whole post!
Amazing.
