OT: Things you never thought you'd hear your child say

[jeepgirl30]

So i'm a little red faced this am!

My DS6 has a little routine we have to do when I drop him off at daycare in the am. We have to kiss and do it infront of his friends. They all say ewwww and he laughs and we do it again. I keep teasing his one friend i'm going to kiss him too and sometimes blow him a kiss.

So this am we kiss and his lil buddy starts saying eww and my DS yells "Blow him mommy, blow him".

Yikes!!!

 

[janloz]

That is too funny don't you just love it when they say something and it has a dual meaning that can get you in trouble.

Here is one from my DS when he was 3 years old and I was pregnant with DD. We were in church with MIL/FIL and DS was sitting in my lap during the homily so it was really quite and DS pull on the top of my shirt and very loudly announces "Boy mommy, you have really big ****ies!" I wanted to crawl under the pew and my MIL almost fell off the pew laughing.

 

[crmom7054]

Those are both too funny! Kids are hilarious.

We were hanging Christmas ornaments on the tree last month and my 4-year old came and asked me "Can I get a hooker?" I just looked at him like WHAT??? and it turned out he wanted an ornament hanger.

 

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

Those are both too funny! Kids are hilarious.

We were hanging Christmas ornaments on the tree last month and my 4-year old came and asked me "Can I get a hooker?" I just looked at him like WHAT??? and it turned out he wanted an ornament hanger.

This one made me laugh so hard! Out of the mouths of babes!!!

 

[ericar]

My daughter was 2 and sitting quietly at her little table coloring and we heard her say something that sounded like a bad word while mumbling to herself. I asked her to repeat what she said. She said loudley," I said O Sh*t I dropped my crayon". From that day on we were extra careful in watching our language.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

When my son was in preschool ( he's 6 now) he declared " I like to touch my *****" to his preschool class. His teacher said she just blinked at him like an owl for about a minute, then said "okay" and just went about her business..talk about over sharing.

Last year, his Kindergarten teacher told me that during "Just Say No" week ds stood up and told the visiting police officer and the whole class
"MY DADDY SMOKES DRUGS! " Now, you have to understand that the lesson included teaching that cigarettes and tobacco are drugs. So, since DH smokes he got outed to the officer. I almost peed my pants!!

 

[PoohHappens]

OK I just spit the ice cream I should not even be eating. I was not quite expecting that.
I would just die. I realize none of the children would even have any reference point, but there had to be other adults there.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

Those are both too funny! Kids are hilarious.

We were hanging Christmas ornaments on the tree last month and my 4-year old came and asked me "Can I get a hooker?" I just looked at him like WHAT??? and it turned out he wanted an ornament hanger.

One of my DH's uncles likes to tell a story about his ds who once claimed that he and daddy 'shared hookers' at school when he came to visit one day(they both put their coats on the same coathook).

 

[trasor]

My 3yo DD and I go into a crowded bathroom. When we get into the stall she says, quite loudly, "Mommy, I need to see your pee pee. Grandma's pee pee has hair on it. Does your pee pee have hair on it?" Need I say that there was an awful lot of choking and coughing going on in that bathroom.

 

[Goofy'slady]

**WARNING - some may find this offensive**

Let me preface by saying that my family is multi-cultured which is nothing but a fancy way of saying some folks in my immeadiate family are black/bi-racial(me), some are white and some are Asian(my husband). We aren't your typical colored family but we still use a certain word that alot of people find offensive. I'm sure most know what word I'm talking about.

Well my 3yr old was retelling a story she over heard my BIL tell my mum and she couldn't quite get all the details out but at the end of the story she did managed to get "That N*gga is CRAZY momma" I couldn't hold in my laughter but I did manage to tell her that calling someone that even if it was just her uncle wasn't nice. When I told my BFF she laughed so hard soda flew out of her nose because as she put it you don't expect a child to say something like that especially one who looks just as white as Snow White herself.

Needless to say we've stopped saying the word around the kids.

T.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

We've had to censor our language around DS too..I have a mouth like a sailor sometimes and my favorite word used to be 'stupid'. Well, last year at school DS got in trouble for saying "This stupid.." and "That's stupid" and calling various things "Stupid *word*s".

I stopped using the word stupid around him as much.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

After a few days at Disney waking up at 6 AM or before my DS5 looked asked me and DH if we could go back to the hotel to take a nap because he needed his "beauty sleep." This then became his phrase for every morning we tried waking him up befoe he was ready..."No, I need my beauty sleep!"

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I invited a new friend from DS's preschool class over to play, and when she and her moms arrived at the door DS ran up and called out.

"Hi Suzie, I'm screwing my nana, want to help?"

She said "Yes" and they ran off leaving me stammering

"I have no idea what that means, I'll have to go find out".

Turns out grandma was in the kitchen being a robot, and DS and Suzie were fixing her with an toy electric screw driver.

 

[DizneeMommy]

OK, I'm laughing until I'm crying! DH was trying to watch TV and finally muted it and had me read all these out loud to find out what was so funny!! Needless to say, he's now laughing as hard as I am!

 

[sl_underwood]

Too funny...
My dd, now 12, has embarrassed me so many times with comments to others.

Once when she was about 5 we took a field trip to the fire station with her kindergarten class, they talked about testing smoke alarms, well mine had went off that morning while I was making breakfast so dd shouts "My mom tests the smoke alarm every time she cooks!" All the adults shot a glance my way. They never did ask me t bring anything that year.
Later in the year (same teachers) she proceeded to tell her entire class how her daddy and I shower together to conserve water.

 

[Cibahwewah]

Okay, Christmas Eve service at church. DS (5) is a wise man in the play and I'm waiting for his big moment. DD (2) is sitting on her daddy's lap and has been squirming/wiggling/noisy the whole time--no nursery that night. There is a quiet point in the service, and she finally sits back, sticks her thumb in her mouth, and her other thumb in her belly button. Don't ask me why she does that, it's just a comfort thing. She then says, in her loud two-year-old voice, "Daddy, you wanna touch my belly button? Take your dinger (finger) and put it in the hole." OMG, DH was mortified and laughing so hard (silently) that there were tears in his eyes. Then she said "Daddy, you crying? Don't be sad Daddy, it's okay!" The 2 or 3 rows of people around us were giggling and snickering for several minutes. DD was enjoying the attention and laughter, being the center of attention, smiling and waving to everyone.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

At Turtle Talk with crush both my DS5 and Dd3 we picked to talk with Crush.

When asked where she was from DD answered, "My mom and dad."...she knows where she lives and apparently where she comes from. Dh and I wanted to crawl under the bench.

DS asked Crush, "Do you taste like chicken?" I was crying I was laughing so hard because Crush didn't seem to know what to say. Living in the Bahamas fishing laws are different than the US and it is legal to catch turtles. Yes, he was put up to it!

 

[Disney1976]

I invited a new friend from DS's preschool class over to play, and when she and her moms arrived at the door DS ran up and called out.

"Hi Suzie, I'm screwing my nana, want to help?"

She said "Yes" and they ran off leaving me stammering

"I have no idea what that means, I'll have to go find out".

Turns out grandma was in the kitchen being a robot, and DS and Suzie were fixing her with an toy electric screw driver.

Ok, OT, but oh my gosh! This reminds me of a story about my dad. When he first came to this country many years ago from Italy, he got a job in an airline manufacturing/maintenance plant doing basic repairs, cleaning up the shop, etc. while he learned the language. At some point, someone corrected him while he was speaking and explained to him about putting the "ing" suffix at the end of certain verbs -i.e., you weren't sweep, you were sweeping. Well, I guess my father just assumed all verbs got that suffix attached. So, the next day at work, he and a co-worker were putting screws into the wing of a plane. His boss eventually came looking for him, and my father told him "Oh, I was very busy, I was screwing on the wing of the plane!" His boss just looked at him confused so my father tried to explain himself further: "Yes, me and the other man, we were on the wing of the plane screwing! I didn't think it would take hours, but there were so many! I'm tired!"

Not sure how long he kept that job.

 

[cheermom1]

when my dd was 4 we lived in an apt. complex that another friend lived as well from high school - i stopped at her apt. to tell her something but she wasn't home so i was talking to her dh about why I stopped - my dd asked for something to drink - i told her to wait that we lived in the next apt building - she asked tow other times right in a row then she looked at me and put her hand on her forehead and leaned back and said "you better hurry b4 i melt" now mind you this all happened within a min......

 

[MommaSnowwhite]

When my DD was in Kindergarten she was sledding in the front yard with a friend. They were playing on a large heap of snow when my DD yelled "Mom Look! Come look at our butt holes!" I almost wet my pants. She repeated it a couple of times before I could answer. They had been sitting in the snow and left "holes" in the snow with their back sides.