OT: Things you never thought you'd hear your child say

[Faldred]

When my DN (now 15) was much younger, she hard a hard time learning how to say the word "ridiculous" correctly, dropping some of the sounds in the word as a young child will do when learning it.

So, she wound up telling my dad one day what sounded like: "that's d*ckless, Grandpa!"

 

[kim929]

One day after running a bunch of errans, we were driving back home when my ds who was 4 at the time says: Mommy I am so horny. I stop my singing and ask what did you just say. So he repeats I am so horny. I sat there processing that and asked slowly, honey what does that mean. Horny mommy you know ahhhhhhhhhh with the stretching motion. yawny he was yawning.

 

[kgle]

Oh goodness, my almost 3 year old is the king of "Kids Say the Darndest Things"

1. We were at the store one day and I wouldn't let him do something. He got really mad at me, narrowed his eyes, and growled "Mommy, you're makin my nerves."

2. I just now asked him if he wanted his butt changed (diaper) and he said "No, no thank you".

3. We were at Target last night and he was pretending to be a pirate and saying "arrgh", then decided in the checkout lane he was going to be a dinosaur. Well he starts growling and says "Arrghh I'm a dinosaur, I'm gonna eat your b***ies". Yes, there were people in line with us.

4. We were at JC Penneys in the lingerie section and I was in line to buy some panties...he sees the bras and says "Big ****ies!" really loud, over and over. I kept trying to shush him trying not to laugh and the lady behind me, all innocent like, asked me what he said. I told her and her eyes got wide as saucers like it was the most terrible thing a 2 year old could say.

Needless to say, public outings with us are quite entertaining.

 

[coolbeans]

OMG!! this is too funny!!

I have one to share... last year myself and DS (2) were at our local Costco getting food for our Halloween party.. the whole week had been spent getting stuff for the party including my costume (a pirate).. anyway, in Costco was an older gentleman with an eyepatch and you guessed it DS was yelling "ARGH, A PIRATE" just as loud as he could.. I was as red as possible and tried to explain to my little monster but him being 2 it just didn't matter.

 

[2manyprincesses]

This thread is sooo funny, but DH is used to me sitting here laughing so he's not asking why. Sooo.... I'll share one about him!

DD (5 or so at the time) was on the deck playing. She had already been told to come in and she kept saying "In a sec, in a sec." Finally, after a few go arounds with this, DH opens the back door and YELLS, "NO MORE SECS!" I busted out laughing and he looked at me blankly for a minute before he realized what he said!

Note, that we live in a pretty close together townhome community. So the odds are pretty good someone heard it!

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

When DD was 7 and DS was 3, my mom & I took them on a road trip to Pennsylvania to visit Sesame Place and Hershey Park. DH stayed home. We were looking for a place to eat about 9:00 at night. DD was reading all of the signs. She yelled out, "Hooters is open!" DS yelled, "I like Hooters!" Then DD said, "I don't think Daddy would like us to eat at Hooters." DS replied, "Why not? He likes Hooters!"

My mom and I could not stop laughing! Thank goodness there was an Applebees open right across the street!

 

[BeckyScott]

Okay, slightly different but Disney-related--

Last year, we flew in to Orlando, and trekked over to the ME bus. It was only about 1/3 full when we got there, so of course it stayed for probably another half hour waiting to fill.

My 10-year-old looked at me and said really really loudly-
"If it's so Magical, then why are we still sitting in the parking lot?"

 

[luv2go2disney]

When DD was 7 and DS was 3, my mom & I took them on a road trip to Pennsylvania to visit Sesame Place and Hershey Park. DH stayed home. We were looking for a place to eat about 9:00 at night. DD was reading all of the signs. She yelled out, "Hooters is open!" DS yelled, "I like Hooters!" Then DD said, "I don't think Daddy would like us to eat at Hooters." DS replied, "Why not? He likes Hooters!"

My mom and I could not stop laughing! Thank goodness there was an Applebees open right across the street!

That reminds me of when my DS6 was about 3 and he would go to Hooters with my DH (it had recently opened so my DH thought it was sooo cool and they have such good wings there as my DH says) Anyway during the field trip to Hooters my DH and his pals taught my little DS to say "Hooter B**bies" I was so irriated because everytime after that when heard Hooters he of course had to pipe in with the rest of his phrase! So for that I will tell you one to embarass my DH!

When my DH when he was a little had trouble pronouncing "K's" and he attended a daycare called Kiddy Castle, therefore EVERYTIME he said the name of his daycare he proudly announced that he went to T iddy T astle. My MIL still talks of embarassing moments on this one!

 

[JacobsMommy11002]

Ok, I have two. My son was probably only 3 at the time, and he would walk in the bathroom all the time on my or DH. One day we were at my MIL's pool, and DS says "I have a little p***s.....but Daddy has a great, big p***s!" I about died of embaressment.

Then, just a month of two ago we went to the Texas Roadhouse for dinner. They have peanuts at the table there, and my DD4 was wearing a sweater with two pockets in the front. She was sitting their stuffing peanuts in her pockets till they were stuffed full. When we asked what she was doing, she said she was being a squirrel. I few moments later the waitress comes up to check on us, and Abby pops up and says "I'm a squirrel, see my nuts?" I have never laughed so hard in my life!

 

[CrAzY4DL]

Ok, I have two. When DD5 was about 3 she went into the bathroom stall with me in Target and when I pulled down my pants to sit down, she says, oh so loudly "Mommy, you sure have a big butt!" Yes Jyl, thank you sooooo much. LOL There were some laughs but hey, I DO gots a big butt!! HAHAHAHA

This story isn't mine but it is HILARIOUS to me! A friend of mine has 4 kids, one 11 year old boy, 2 girls and then a younger boy. When the youngest boy was 2, when he didn't know the name for a word, he would insert a different word into his sentences. The word he subsitituted was c o c k (because his older brother was always c-o-c-king his guns). So he would walk around saying "My c*** hurts", "Come see my c***" and on and on. Now, imagine being on the phone with friend and hearing 2 year old saying this. OVER AND OVER! HAHAHAHAHAHA I told her, yeah my two daughters aren't playing with him anymore!! HAHAHHAHAHA

 

[ilandrazdsw]

My DD3 just bowed down to her father and said, "Yes, your majesty." Out of theblue...too cute.

 

[angelat]

A friend of mine from a previous job (a pharmaceutical company)had a granddaughter about 5 years old. At school they were talking about jobs that their parents and grandparents had and she said, "my grandma sells drugs." !!

 

[BC Disney Lover]

These are great! My kids keep asking me why I'm laughing so hard. Here's a couple I thought were cute.

My oldest son at about 3 couldn't say the word fish, somehow it came out as sh*t so when we went shopping in the seafood department he would yell "look at the big sh*t" and in restaurants he would ask for sh*t and chips.

My second son(4) is always being told to keep his hands out of his pants. One day while shopping I asked why he had his hands in there and he replied. "I'm just making sure it's big!"

And my whole family will never forget when my little sister was about 10 she came home and told us, while rubbing her eye, that her cli*oris was itchy when she really meant cornea!

 

[Harlie]

Ahh I have two faves

1)
DS4 then 3 points and asks me How do you take that off (that being my bra) I replied to him "Very Carfully" and his response was "Can you teach me"

2)
Also DS4 it was at the 23 of December and DS4 was giving my DH a hard time he refused to get dressed and was still in his PJs when I came home from work. I asked hime why was he not dresses and he shrugged and said Im just lazy thats all. That is not the best part I told him that he better apologize to daddy for giving him a hard time today or santa may not put him on the nice list. This was at supper time and I left to change my clothes and when I came back DS4 was still eating to which I reminded him that he better eat and stop playing with his food because bad boys don't get presents , and his reply was so matter of fact like he sighed and rolled his eyes and said "But I apologized to daddy mom so you can kiss my big fat butt!" Now my older kids have never talked to me like that before so it came as a total shock and my reponse was laughing ans I said "what" DD9 was there and was laughing her hinney off she heard the same thing.

 

[Forevryoung]

My all time favorite about myself:

I was 2 when my cousin was born. After he spent the weekend at my house, between diaper changes and bath time and whatnot I guess I had seen "something". I was having the conversation with my mom the next morning sorting out that boys and girls are different. "I have a _____ and Matt (cousin) has a _______, Mommy has a ______ and DADDY has a _____."

Well I ran into my parent's bedroom at that point, jumped on Daddy (who was sleeping) and screamed "daddy, daddy I want to see your p*n*s"

According to Mommy, Daddy was quite shocked to wake up like that!

 

[IrishMinnie]

So i'm a little red faced this am!

My DS6 has a little routine we have to do when I drop him off at daycare in the am. We have to kiss and do it infront of his friends. They all say ewwww and he laughs and we do it again. I keep teasing his one friend i'm going to kiss him too and sometimes blow him a kiss.

So this am we kiss and his lil buddy starts saying eww and my DS yells "Blow him mommy, blow him".

Yikes!!!

That is funny!!

My DD5 wanted my mom, her grandma, to blow on her macaroni and cheese because, according to her, "Grandma is the best blower in the world"!!

 

[ilandrazdsw]

DD3 has been afraid of Santa since her first Christmas. In '07 we allowed her to watch her uncle dress as Santa and told her he had a secret...HE WAS Santa. She was fine and all year we would remind her of the secret. '08 we had Christmas early since we were going to be in WDW. Santa knocked on the door, came in, and started giving presents. DD looked at him and with a disappointed face said, "You're not Santa! You're Uncle Terence." and ran to me on the verge of tears. We were all rolling!!! Once I reminded her that DU had a secret she was fine. DS5 still believes he was the real one from the North Pole..."because mommy emailed him and asked him to come early."

 

[CrzyforPiglet]

I was in Costco with my DS3 and he saw some body wash and asked me what it was. I explained it was to use in the bath and in what was probably his loudest voice he shouted "I need a bath because I'm covered in pee pee and poopy."

I could have died!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

When DD was about 3-1/2 she was having issues with her "private place" due to potting training. The doctor gave us some ointment and told me to have her sleep without undies for a while. About a week later my mom called to see how "things" were going. She asked my DD who said something along the lines of "everything's okay Grammy, it just needed a breath of fresh air!"

 

[jenok0426]

Last year we took our first family trip to Disney. My DH took my DS who was 4 at the time into the bathroom. My DS went into the stall and when he stood up the toilet automatically flushed. He then asked "is everything here magical?" I guess there were quite a few laughs in the mens room.