OT-Teens and cell phones

[F4disneyfan]

Well all I can say is I am glad our society up here doesn't dictate the need for KIDS to carry cell phones. As I said our kids will not have one till they can afford to purchase the phone and pay for the usage be it pay as you go or a monthly contract. Like I said not even my wife and I use ours other than maybe a couple times a week and only if we know we are going out and somone needs to get ahold of us as per our instructions to them to call the cell otherwise we ALWAYS leave home without it LOL. Sorry that was a bad play on the Amex don't leave home without it ad LOL. We get 200 minutes a month and unlimited evening and weekends and I think we use a total of about 10-15 minutes a month on it and that is it.

 

[DVCLiz]

Both of my daughters have cell phones. DD18 got hers when she was 14, and DD13 got hers for her 13th birthday. I think in a few years, as the age creeps down, most kids will probably have cell phones by the middle elementary grades, but my girls were in the middle as far as getting their phones - some had them a year or so before they did, and some didn't get them until high school.

I'm totally in favor of them having their own phones. It's great to be able to get in touch with them whenever I want to, and to know that we can have a private conversation. Maybe I already know that my daughter is to be picked up at 4pm from school, but what I really want to know is how she and her best friend resolved the squabble they were having yesterday. Maybe I want to ask her something that she doesn't want to answer standing in front of the school secretary.

I don't have a problem with another parent making that decision for their own child, but I'm getting a little tired of parents who still see this is a "moral" issue, or as a "good" or "bad" parenting issue. A phone is just a phone. It's usually 10 bucks a month on a family plan, and calls are free to callers in your network. The cost of the original phone varies, but it isn't out of line with any other small electronic you might buy a child. I'll bet a Leapster is more expensive than a cell phone. As long as you set some rules, and remember that you can change the plan or the circuamstances, I don't see any problem with cell phones for kids, at whatever age you decide to let them have one.

I also don't have any problem with my kids using their phones to chat. I don't want them using my house phone for as much talking as they do!! I had a second "teenage" line that I'm getting ready to drop because everyone calls them on their cell phones now. I just bought a big enough plan to allow for everyone to get the minutes they normally use.

 

[WAHMto5]

Both of our oldest have them and they are a lifesaver, especially for us!! First, I would not let my children drive without one in the car. It is not like it was and if they were to break down, run out of gas, ect.. I DO NOT want them flagging another car down to help them out. Though I do not like them to use it while they are driving of course.
I also love it for when they are out with their friends and need to call home or I need to call them, there are not pay phones everywhere like there used to be The last reason for us is all of our kids are HUGE into sports and it saves me so much time for them to call after practices and games to be picked up and not have to wait there until the coach decides to let them out.

 

[DVCLiz]

If your kids have had friends get in trouble about texting, just add the unlimited texting feature to their phones. It's 5 bucks a month. I'd rather be on the "sensitive to the way kids are communicating these days" side than the "no kid of mine will have a phone until she has a job and can pay for it herself" side.

Different strokes, I guess...

 

[trennr]

Cell Phones are the cigarettes of the 21st century!!!

Really I can't stand them.

My kids will get their own Cellphones when they can afford to buy and pay for it themselves.

Of course they are only 12 and 7 and both boys...so...hasn't come up yet.

Our Family has the total of one Cellphone...it's my wife's and its a Tracfone. She's got a 1 year card and has barelyput a dent in the minutes.

 

[allison443]

I don't have a problem with another parent making that decision for their own child, but I'm getting a little tired of parents who still see this is a "moral" issue, or as a "good" or "bad" parenting issue. A phone is just a phone. It's usually 10 bucks a month on a family plan, and calls are free to callers in your network. The cost of the original phone varies, but it isn't out of line with any other small electronic you might buy a child. I'll bet a Leapster is more expensive than a cell phone. As long as you set some rules, and remember that you can change the plan or the circuamstances, I don't see any problem with cell phones for kids, at whatever age you decide to let them have one.

I agree!

 

[tjmw2727]

My 12yo dd got a cellphone when she started middle school. She takes a bus 40 minutes each way and I wanted her to be able to reach me or dh if necessary.

She is responsible with it, it stays off and in her backpack during school hours but if she misses the bus or if a bus breaks down I want her to be able to call us. We are in a residential area but her school is in a more rural area and they do not offer pay phones for students.

She also has more afterschool activities this year and again they are not all close to home due to where we live. This way she can contact me if practice ends early or runs late etc and I can call her if I am running late as well.

We got her a trac phone and I supply her with a enough current minutes for the necessary calls. If she chooses to use her phone to chat then she pays for those minutes. So far she has been very responsible and I don't anticipate any issues.

One thing I have learned as a parent is "never say never" but to judge the situation as it presents and make the best decision for my family.

TJ

 

[jenrein]

Cell Phones are the cigarettes of the 21st century!!!

Really I can't stand them.

My kids will get their own Cellphones when they can afford to buy and pay for it themselves.

Of course they are only 12 and 7 and both boys...so...hasn't come up yet.

Our Family has the total of one Cellphone...it's my wife's and its a Tracfone. She's got a 1 year card and has barelyput a dent in the minutes.

My daughter did pay for hers when she was 9

 

[F4disneyfan]

Both of my daughters have cell phones. DD18 got hers when she was 14, and DD13 got hers for her 13th birthday. I think in a few years, as the age creeps down, most kids will probably have cell phones by the middle elementary grades, but my girls were in the middle as far as getting their phones - some had them a year or so before they did, and some didn't get them until high school.

I'm totally in favor of them having their own phones. It's great to be able to get in touch with them whenever I want to, and to know that we can have a private conversation. Maybe I already know that my daughter is to be picked up at 4pm from school, but what I really want to know is how she and her best friend resolved the squabble they were having yesterday. Maybe I want to ask her something that she doesn't want to answer standing in front of the school secretary.

I don't have a problem with another parent making that decision for their own child, but I'm getting a little tired of parents who still see this is a "moral" issue, or as a "good" or "bad" parenting issue. A phone is just a phone. It's usually 10 bucks a month on a family plan, and calls are free to callers in your network. The cost of the original phone varies, but it isn't out of line with any other small electronic you might buy a child. I'll bet a Leapster is more expensive than a cell phone. As long as you set some rules, and remember that you can change the plan or the circuamstances, I don't see any problem with cell phones for kids, at whatever age you decide to let them have one.

I also don't have any problem with my kids using their phones to chat. I don't want them using my house phone for as much talking as they do!! I had a second "teenage" line that I'm getting ready to drop because everyone calls them on their cell phones now. I just bought a big enough plan to allow for everyone to get the minutes they normally use.

Up here we don't get a traditional minutes package like you guys in the States do ours is a family plan designated is a max of 350 minutes a month to share for the family at 100 bucks a month and 30 Cents a minute each minute over that so our family plans are not all that great unlike you guys that can get 1000 plus minute family plans. . That plan is for only 2 people and then an additional 15 dollars a month for each additional person to share the minutes.

 

[NotUrsula]

Those of you in Canada may be in for a change. They just deregulated phone service there, and you will probably find that, as here in the US, the phone companies will largely choose to get OUT of the coin payphone business.

In the US phone service has all been commercial and completely de-regulated for quite some time now, and coin payphones are just not profitable now. They are frequently vandalised or stolen, and they have to be serviced to collect the coins. Nowadays they are never placed on public property; they are all on private property where the business owner has to buy the phone and pay a fee to maintain the phone line; most schools can't afford it.

The only places where you still see payphones with any regularity in the US are in airport and train stations, and inside of courthouses, where cell phone use is normally restricted or banned. These days a lot of them require a credit card to use. Even bars have been getting rid of them, and they used to always keep them so that drunks could call a cab.

At 10, my DS doesn't have a working cell phone, but he does have one of my old ones that no longer has a number attached to it. He mostly wanted it for the fun of playing games on it and to look cool -- after all, the other kids don't have to know that it isn't fully operational. He CAN use it to dial 911 if there were a true emergency, all he has to do is keep it charged. We're not a big phone-yakking family, and DH & I both use pre-paid wireless phones that cost under $100 to operate for a year. When DS gets to the point where he is frequently in situations where he is alone away from home, I'll reactivate the phone he has.

PS: for the person whose child lost a phone very quickly: If it was paid for with a CC, the buyer's protection on the CC should have paid up to replace the phone. If it happened less than a year ago, you might still be able to file a claim.

 

[F4disneyfan]

Those of you in Canada may be in for a change. They just deregulated phone service there, and you will probably find that, as here in the US, the phone companies will largely choose to get OUT of the coin payphone business.

In the US phone service has all been commercial and completely de-regulated for quite some time now, and coin payphones are just not profitable now. They are frequently vandalised or stolen, and they have to be serviced to collect the coins. Nowadays they are never placed on public property; they are all on private property where the business owner has to buy the phone and pay a fee to maintain the phone line; most schools can't afford it.

The only places where you still see payphones with any regularity in the US are in airport and train stations, and inside of courthouses, where cell phone use is normally restricted or banned. These days a lot of them require a credit card to use. Even bars have been getting rid of them, and they used to always keep them so that drunks could call a cab.

At 10, my DS doesn't have a working cell phone, but he does have one of my old ones that no longer has a number attached to it. He mostly wanted it for the fun of playing games on it and to look cool -- after all, the other kids don't have to know that it isn't fully operational. He CAN use it to dial 911 if there were a true emergency, all he has to do is keep it charged.

PS: for the person whose child lost a phone very quickly: If it was paid for with a CC, the buyer's protection on the CC should have paid up to replace the phone.

It has been de regulated here for a number of years and Bell is still teh only game in town to offer pay phones all teh lines are owned by Bell and the other companies lease line service so it won't make to much difference anyhow. Sprint and AT&T were talking a big game 2 years ago about how they would come in and run all their own lines etc but it has worked out cheaper for them to lease the lines from Bell. So in teh 2 plus years since de regulation nothing has changed at all. Prices have actually gone up not down since deregulation took place.

We also son't have an issue with pay phones being stolen up here vandalised yes but stolen nope not to often.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Cell Phones are the cigarettes of the 21st century!!!

Really I can't stand them.

Our Family has the total of one Cellphone...it's my wife's and its a Tracfone. She's got a 1 year card and has barelyput a dent in the minutes.

There are many days I agree with your sentiment! Although I think my feeling has more to do with people's cell phone etiquette (or rather, their lack of etiquette) than it does with the actual cell phone itself.

 

[auntie]

Okay...let me first say that I am pretty much a non-believer of allowing teens to carry cell phones all the time (only because they tend to use them when it is inappropriate or not necessary-during school hours or at home to chat with their friends). However, DD13 and DS15 are now at the point where they have the budding social lives and activities. I have found myself handing off my own cell phone to them when they are out with their friends, on trips with the recreation center or at school functions (dances, football games, etc.). I do this so that they can call me for rides home, to let me know they arrived safely, to check in and stuff like that-not for them to call their friends-and they don't.

I am ready to break down and get them phones (probably Disney or another type that I can monitor and limit its use of). I intend on only letting them have the phones when there is an activity or something where having the phone in their possession would be necessary (otherwise I will hold onto them). Because when they take mine, then I am left with nothing and tend to be tied to being home by the phone just in case (not to mention I get calls for my business on my cell phone sometimes). Anyhoo...DH is against cell phones for the kids PERIOD! However, he is not the one who is taxi service for the kids and it honestly would give me peace of mind if heaven forbid there is an emergency of some sort. Has anyone else with teenagers struggled with this issue?

PLEASE...DO NOT get your 13 and 15 year old's Disney phones. They are way past the age for that. They will be ridiculed by their friends. Don't make them targets for humiliation. The phone they have will probably have a two year contract. They don't want to be 15 and 17 year olds with Disney phones. That being said..I mostly certainly think a 13 and 15 year olds should have phones. Mostly for the reasons you mention. I have found them to be great parental tool..as well as a privilge for the kids. There is never a reason not to know where they are..and who they with. Believe me when I say, you are just entering into those years. I have a family plan..we share minutes...and most of their friends are on the same network, so there are seldom the huge bills you would hear about from even a couple of years back. Each of their phones is an additional $10.00 a month(Verizon) each also has texting and photos. Now, this means nothing to me..I answer the phone or make a call..but for kids..they love it. It is a part of teen culture and like it or not..they don't communicate the same way mom and dad do. Sometimes I watch my kids texting..and think why don't you call them?..They just don't..this is what they do. I know many parents facing this at this age and have the same...NEVER is my teen going to have a phone until they can pay for it. I buy my kids shoes..and clothes. I think of the phone in the same manner. It's as much for me as it is for them. If they don't abuse it.(going over minutes..or using in school) I'm fine with it. A small price to pay to keep in touch with your family. Our schools know all the kids have phones..and they are permitted to use them in a comon area..when not in class. Phones are supposed to be turned off during class time. If the kids are dissrupted during instrcution..the parents are notified that the cell phone has been a distraction. They leave it to you to dish out the ramifications. In this time of Columbine..VT..and especially living in NY after 9-11..there is NO WAY my kids of that age wouldn't have phones. I've have kids who have had the advantage of phones..my younger two..are 15 and 19..however my older son is almost 27..and he didn't have one until senior year of high school. It has been a huge asset to me as a parent being able to know where the younger two are and who they are with, and times to be picked up..all the things you mention. Of course there are those that will abuse the privilige..but that's what your here for..to teach them not to.

 

[DVCLiz]

PLEASE...DO NOT get your 13 and 15 year old's Disney phones. They are way past the age for that. They will be ridiculed by their friends. Don't make them targets for humiliation. The phone they have will probably have a two year contract. They don't want to be 15 and 17 year olds with Disney phones. That being said..I mostly certainly think a 13 and 15 year olds should have phones. Mostly for the reasons you mention. I have found them to be great parental tool..as well as a privilge for the kids. There is never a reason not to know where they are..and who they with. Believe me when I say, you are just entering into those years. I have a family plan..we share minutes...and most of their friends are on the same network, so there are seldom the huge bills you would hear about from even a couple of years back. Each of their phones is an additional $10.00 a month(Verizon) each also has texting and photos. Now, this means nothing to me..I answer the phone or make a call..but for kids..they love it. It is a part of teen culture and like it or not..they don't communicate the same way mom and dad do. Sometimes I watch my kids texting..and think why don't you call them?..They just don't..this is what they do. I know many parents facing this at this age and have the same...NEVER is my teen going to have a phone until they can pay for it. I buy my kids shoes..and clothes. I think of the phone in the same manner. It's as much for me as it is for them. If they don't abuse it.(going over minutes..or using in school) I'm fine with it. A small price to pay to keep in touch with your family. Our schools know all the kids have phones..and they are permitted to use them in a comon area..when not in class. Phones are supposed to be turned off during class time. If the kids are dissrupted during instrcution..the parents are notified that the cell phone has been a distraction. They leave it to you to dish out the ramifications. In this time of Columbine..VT..and especially living in NY after 9-11..there is NO WAY my kids of that age wouldn't have phones. I've have kids who have had the advantage of phones..my younger two..are 15 and 19..however my older son is almost 27..and he didn't have one until senior year of high school. It has been a huge asset to me as a parent being able to know where the younger two are and who they are with, and times to be picked up..all the things you mention. Of course there are those that will abuse the privilige..but that's what your here for..to teach them not to.

I totally agree with every word you have written. The idea of getting a Disney phone or another type of a monitored phone for a 15 year old, or even a 13 year old, is just amazing to me. Do these parents stand over the household phone when their children are making calls? I can't imagine needing to have that much control over my children.

For those of you who say, "Not until s/he can buy his/her own phone and pay for it!", would that really be the case? I know my DD13 could have easily made enough in babysitting money to buy a cell phone and pay the monthly basic plan for at elast the last year and a half. Are you assuming that you won't have to deal with this until your older teen gets a real job?

 

[auntie]

Well my kids are younger but they will not have cell phones until they are working and can purchase the phone and pay for the service on thier own. There are plenty of pay phones around if they would need a ride home or to call for anything just make sure they carry some change with them. There really isn't a need for a teen to have a cell especially if they aren't payng for it on their own. Hell the wife and I hardly ever use ours LOL we call it our electronic leash and it normally sits at home on the microwave I think we have taken it with us one time in the last 2 months. We only ever take it with us if we will be driving someplace that is over an hour away otherwise we usually leave it at home.

I can't recall the last time I even saw a pay phone where I live. I'd probably have to look pretty hard to find one. I see you m ention your children are young. I know I never thought I'd give a cell phone to a middle schooler..but times have changed ..at least where I live. 9-11 is always in the back of our minds. We think about when we get on the rail everyday to go into the city..and most of us living where I do were personally effected by that day one way or another. I don't live in fear..but I did learn that you need to have a family plan about how you get in touch or meet up with your family in the event of a tragedy. That was one of the many realities we learned from the horror of that day. Something ,I guess people and children living in the middle east have been doing for quite some time. When your kids are little(lucky you..I miss those days )..you can protect them from those sort of things. They are seldom out of your site. As the grow older..the realities of the world, are sometimes beyond your control. Truth is though..anything can happen. Everytime my 19 year old daughter leaves the house she says "okay mom, I'm leaving, love ya!"...and I say "Love you too...do you have your phone?" She's had her phone since she was in middle school, and within days after Columbine there was an incident in our school. She wanted to call home..and the office didn't let her, because they didn't want an bunch of alarmed parents there. After that day..she went to school with a phone in her purse..and was told to use it whenever she felt the need to call home. I wasn't going to make her pay for it...she needed to feel safe, and that she could reach home when she needed to. $10.00 is a small price for peace of mind.
I don't think there is a right or wrong..or that is a good parent/bad parent moral issue. It depends also to a great extent on where you live, availability of a public phones. Also there is a huge difference..at least I think between giving a firefly phone to a 9 year old..and a teen of 13 or 15 having a phone so that there whereabouts are known to the parent. Especially when they are involved in social and sporting activities.

 

[Jen66]

Well all I can say is I am glad our society up here doesn't dictate the need for KIDS to carry cell phones. As I said our kids will not have one till they can afford to purchase the phone and pay for the usage be it pay as you go or a monthly contract. Like I said not even my wife and I use ours other than maybe a couple times a week and only if we know we are going out and somone needs to get ahold of us as per our instructions to them to call the cell otherwise we ALWAYS leave home without it LOL. Sorry that was a bad play on the Amex don't leave home without it ad LOL. We get 200 minutes a month and unlimited evening and weekends and I think we use a total of about 10-15 minutes a month on it and that is it.

I am sorry if I was misunderstood, but I said reality dictates my DD's cell phone possession, not society (huge difference). She is an extremely active and responsible young lady who, at 12, is involved in many school, church, and community activities. We like the knowledge that wherever DH and I are, she can contact us. The reality of most of our lives does not allow us to sit by a phone at home waiting by a phone.

 

[Becky2005]

My opinion is it really depends on the circumstances, etc...

A lot of times circumstances dictate that "it's time" -- as someone had mentioned previously practice being over at 4 when normally it went to 6.

I had an instance where the activity bus was about an hour late, school was already closed so had no idea where/when my child would get home. I was *just* about to call the bus company to see if the bus had done it's route yet when I saw it pull by. That pretty much tipped the scale.

Once she made the cheerleading squad (the calendar we got for times of practice/games & reality were 2 different things), I knew it was time.

She has hers off & in her backpack in her locker during school hours. I'm not sure ours has text capability (she has never used it).

We are on the Verizon family plan and basically I bought her a basic phone (and myself too) -- it has no camera in it. The only downside is there is no screen when it's closed to see who's calling either (DH's has that & I wish mine did). DD & I have the same type phone. I didn't need anything fancy & neither did she but I wanted something a little more than you can only call X numbers because of other situations in the past where it would be a good thing to be able to call other numbers.

I have detailed billing so I can see every number that she calls/receives. She has had it since last October and she barely uses it & then it's basically calls to me.

Will I get my 10 year old one when he's in middle school? Who knows, it depends on what he is involved with at the time. IF it gets necessary, then yes, I will probably get him one.

 

[Becky2005]

There are not plentiful pay phones everywhere. They are few and far between where I live. The old "don't leave home without a couple of dimes for a phone call" that was my parents motto no longer holds true in many areas. yeah, I know, I'm old!

I was just talking about this with someone at the park district when I got DD her cell phone. As I'm talking to her, she agrees with me about the pay phones and mentions the park district just had theirs taken out.

Yep..sure enough, on the wall where there was a payphone, it doesn't exist anymore. My kids take a ton of park district classes, if the office is closed, there could be a problem.

I know our Middle School had pay phones (.80/call!) but they built a new school that my DD goes to & I have no idea if they actually included pay phones or not. When I went to school there was an entire row of payphones on the wall. I'd be hard pressed to find that now.

 

[auntie]

I can't honestly remember the last time I used a public phone has to be years. I don't even know what it costs. I know my younger two have never had to use them. If a kid or teen has an emergency are they going to have enough money to use one on them? Then hope the call goes through. A cell is much easier..and they are bound to reach someone in a time of need...without searching for a phone that is likely broken or not even available to them.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

I can't honestly remember the last time I used a public phone has to be years. I don't even know what it costs. I know my younger two have never had to use them. If a kid or teen has an emergency are they going to have enough money to use one on them? Then hope the call goes through. A cell is much easier..and they are bound to reach someone in a time of need...without searching for a phone that is likely broken or not even available to them.

I can remember when I last used one-because I locked my keys in my car-WITH my cell phone! I had just finished grocery shopping and loaded everything in the trunk, when I slammed the trunk shut with my purse in there as well. Yes, it was a blonde moment. I was lucky that there was a payphone in the shopping center (but I had to walk quite a ways for it) so I could call DH. But...I didn't have change and had to do a collect call (DH almost didn't pick up because he didn't recognize the number). Turned out that collect call ran us about $8! What an ordeal. Anyhoo...it did make me think about payphones and the fact that they are not so plentiful anymore. I'm not even sure my kids know how to use one if they don't have change on them! Gosh, that's scary, but true. Before that incident though, it probably was a good 10 years since I had the reason to use a payphone.