OT-Teens and cell phones

[F4disneyfan]

I can't recall the last time I even saw a cell phone where I live. I'd probably have to look pretty hard to find one. I see you mention your children are young. I know I never thought I'd give a cell phone to a middle schooler..but times have changed ..at least where I live. 9-11 is always in the back of our minds. We think about when we get on the rail everyday to go into the city..and most of us living where I do were personally effected by that day one way or another. I don't live in fear..but I did learn that you need to have a family plan about how you get in touch or meet up with your family in the event of a tragedy. That was one of the many realities we learned from the horror of that day. Something ,I guess people and children living in the middle east have been doing for quite some time. When your kids are little(lucky you..I miss those days )..you can protect them from those sort of things. They are seldom out of your site. As the grow older..the realities of the world, are sometimes beyond your control. Truth is though..anything can happen. Everytime my 19 year old daughter leaves the house she says "okay mom, I'm leaving, love ya!"...and I say "Love you too...do you have your phone?" She's had her phone since she was in middle school, and within days after Columbine there was an incident in our school. She wanted to call home..and the office didn't let her, because they didn't want an bunch of alarmed parents there. After that day..she went to school with a phone in her purse..and was told to use it whenever she felt the need to call home. I wasn't going to make her pay for it...she needed to feel safe, and that she could reach home when she needed to. $10.00 is a small price for peace of mind.
I don't think there is a right or wrong..or that is a good parent/bad parent moral issue. It depends also to a great extent on where you live, availability of a public phones. Also there is a huge difference..at least I think between giving a firefly phone to a 9 year old..and a teen of 13 or 15 having a phone so that there whereabouts are known to the parent. Especially when they are involved in social and sporting activities.

We don't have middle school our schools go from JK to grade 8 then off to highschool from grade 9-12 so no worries there LOL. Our 10 year old is very very active with her cheeleading school chior and afterschool activities but again no need for a cell the school has people there and also a pay phone for the kids. Does she want a cell she has asked if we would ever get her one we said no to her that was the ned of it we have never heard her say anything about it again. Up here a phone call at a pay phone costs 25 cents for all local calls 911 and 411 are free. The ids if they have no money can even pick up the phone dial 0 and mae a local collect call if they don't have any change. It isn't about good or bad parenting I just think our society is trying to dictate that you are lost without your cell phone hell when I was a kid and I am sure like many of you we never had cell phones and never needed them.

 

[lcrane]

I used to be one of the parents that would say not my child now they both have cell phone and I am glad that we did it. Yes we have Varizon and it is great they know the rules if it is not in your network don't call untill after 9:00pm Weekends are free we have not had any trouble with this.

My daughter got in trouble one day regarding the cell phone she went on a field trip that neither one of us remember about she called me to let me know what was going on that she would not be at school and she would not be returing untill later in the night. The school ask me why she was using her cell phone at that time and I told them that we till our children that if anything feels out of the ordinary that they need to call us ASAP and that was what she was doing at the time (she or I did not remember about the field trip and that was out of the ordinary for her). The principle understood and said that this was on of the reason that they let kids carry cell phone they just can not be on unless it is an emergency.

Lisa

 

[auntie]

When your child is ten I might agree that they probably don't need a phone yet. The Disney type..and fireflies are about tapping into a new market..sort of gimicky I think. Yes.. Although I didn't have a phone when I was young..and my odler son (26)..he didin't either. However I do see with my younger two, it has made keeping in touch easier..and no excuses from teens who couldn't find a phone, for being late or not being where they are supposed to be. They certainly work in the parents advantage in that regard. Also..when your little girl(and she's still your little girl..when she's a new driver and away from the house at 16 or 19) is driving her own car at night on a dark road..it's nice she can call home for help. Not get out of the car looking for a pay phone. No, I didn't have that option, but I'm glad my daughter does have it.
We could all get along with out them..we could do without tv's, microwaves, or computers also...but I'm sure glad we have them.

 

[F4disneyfan]

When your child is ten I might agree that they probably don't need a phone yet. The Disney type..and fireflies are about tapping into a new market..sort of gimicky I think. Yes.. Although I didn't have a phone when I was young..and my odler son (26)..he didin't either. However I do see with my younger two, it has made keeping in touch easier..and no excuses from teens who couldn't find a phone, for being late or not being where they are supposed to be. They certainly work in the parents advantage in that regard. Also..when your little girl(and she's still your little girl..when she's a new driver and away from the house at 16 or 19) is driving her own car at night on a dark road..it's nice she can call home for help. Not get out of the car looking for a pay phone. No, I didn't have that option, but I'm glad my daughter does have it.
We could all get along with out them..we could do without tv's, microwaves, or computers also...but I'm sure glad we have them.

Actually at 16 she will not have her own car again unless she is buying it herself. As for the computer and microwave well the microwave we have is only ever used for making popcorn LOL. Actually they are now marketing a new cell phone for seniors much like the firefly for the kids I think it was verison that has it but I don't remember I just recall seing the ads. It is made by Samsung and called the jitterbug here is the link.
http://www.info4cellphones.com/cell-phones-for-seniors.html

As for communicating with the kids while they are not around the house we have FRS/GMRS radios if the kids are out playing off our block they take one with them so we can call tehm in for dinner.

 

[swillis]

I personally think that times, and our society has changed so much, that the need for cell phones is much greater now. Of course if my DD's school had pay phones she could use that to call me if she missed her bus, but as a working mother, I wouldn't be at home
I would be in transit from my job to the house, and I wouldn't know she missed the bus until about an hour too late. Because we are now such a "on the go" society, the need for cell phones is real. A lot of families juggle so many daily activities that it's not unlikely for the family to be out at different activities until the early evening.

I don't think it's bad parenting either way..what works for your family is best.

 

[auntie]

Couldn't agree more. I think also it depends on where you live..lifestyle plays another part in the decision when or if to get a child a cell phone. The OP has teens..not little kids..and it certainly sounds as if they would be a good parenting tool..and a privilige for kids also.

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

Another thing -

If your child says they're at "so and so's" house and you have your doubts - all you have to say is, "Oh, good, take a picture and send it to me right now."

I'm glad my kids have phones - ever since 9/11 - when we couldn't find loved ones for days (and some never did come home that day) - my kids will never, ever be without one. Compound that with my son's friend dying, Columbine, now VA Tech, daily craziness of life - it's not a luxury anymore.

They may lose texting privileges or other things - but the phone - never. Funny thing - they've never broken our trust and caused us to even consider doing any type of punishment...

 

[F4disneyfan]

I personally think that times, and our society has changed so much, that the need for cell phones is much greater now. Of course if my DD's school had pay phones she could use that to call me if she missed her bus, but as a working mother, I wouldn't be at home
I would be in transit from my job to the house, and I wouldn't know she missed the bus until about an hour too late. Because we are now such a "on the go" society, the need for cell phones is real. A lot of families juggle so many daily activities that it's not unlikely for the family to be out at different activities until the early evening.
I don't think it's bad parenting either way..what works for your family is best.

Oh we are much like this but for our family we made choices and that is I am at home all day with our son till he starts school then the baby is born in June and teh wife is off on maternity for a year. But how we work it is I am home all day and the wife works 6:30 till 2 and then she is home at 2:30 Then I go to work from 3-11 so there is always a parent at home with the kids for all the running around like hockey practices and games and power skating and cheerleading practive and competitions and after school activities. We sacrifice our parent together time to make time for our kids it works great for us as we are always spending time with the kids maybe not together both parents but we sure do have an active roll in all thier social activities etc. Which also eludes to the fact that the kids have no need for a cell phone even if dropped off at an activity so another kid can then be taken to their activity. I guess up here we don't worry to much about these things as it sure isn't the norm for kids in grades 5 6 7 or 8 to have or need a cell hell even many of our highschool kids don't have or need them. Not to mention the fact that many ids just can't handle the responsability of them like tonight at teh movies one teenage girl had her phone out throughout teh entire shor sending text messages to her boyfriend and when I commented to her about the phones being turned off all I got was a mind your own damn business a hole. Things like this lead me to believe that kids shouldn't havve the damn things anyhow.

 

[barbmouse]

My dd has a cellphone and is very responsible with it. She is actually quite stingy with her minutes. It is a lot like her money...she does not like to part with hers but mine is ok! We tell her she has x # of minutes to use a month and she has never gone over! We felt like many other posters that once they are in MS and are so busy it is so nice to have that contact with them. My dd also babysits and just feels safer with her cell.In an emergency the home landline could be out or unavailable It is a decision that we have made which works for us. My ds will not have a cell until MS as well.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I can not image my DS NOT having a cell phone. We got him his first pre-paid phone in 6th grade and put him on our plan a year later. It makes us all feel a lot better. He carries his at ALL times. He is quite active in lots of things. Our awsome principal has no issues with the children carring thier cell phones as long as they do not use them in any way during class. Before and after school and in emergancies, they are fine. Ds has asthma and has often called me on his during the day when he had an asthma attach in PE. The children know the rules and respect them so that phones are really no problems at all in our school. I really do not know ANY of DS friends that do not have cell phones. DS is very responcible and we have NEVER had issue one with the phone.

My only problem with cell phones and teens is being sure that they absolutly do not use them while driving. It is now not legal in NC for teens to talk on the cell phone while driving unless they are talking to thier parents .



Best friend just gave her children 10 and 12 thier first phones.