Okay for starters I did not text him first he text me with a stupid question, when I gave him my honest opinion which he did not like that is when things got ugly. Did I admit I was wrong, yes I did, did I apologize to him, yes I did. #2 because your child is 18 and a legal adult does not mean that they are done being mothered, those that commented calling me a troll, you don't have children or are a terrible parent in my opinion. I am an over protective parent, in todays society that is what it takes to protect your child from the terrible people out there, this is what is wrong with most of the kids today their parents think they are grown at 13, because mom and dad are too busy with their life and career the parents ignore the kids, throwing money at them. Please understand that I am not okay with her dating men this much older than her, but as it was pointed out she is growing up and making her on decisions, I am a sounding board, but also her mother and I do not want her falling so hard that she cannot recover for a very long time, being a young adult is when you are to be having the best time of your life, not trying to get over a bozo like him. I am learning to back off, but when I am asked a question by anyone I will answer with an honest answer, can most of the posters here say that, from the flames that were thrown at me, I doubt if they could in person, only hiding behind a monitor in the safety of there home. For those of you that gave your honest opinion and did not throw flames thank you, understanding about being a GOOD parent and trying to help your child is not a crime. Again thank you.
Have a nice day everyone!
I am sorry for this long off topic post, but I need the advice of everyone here on the DIS.
A little history, I am sorry but it is long.
My 18 year old daughter is beautiful and could have any guy she wants. She has moved on from the high school boys they are way to immature, she prefers men in their mid to late 20"s. She has plans of going to college locally. She is not looking for a husband, but does not want to jump from guy to guy.
Okay this really did happen by the way. Daughter meets guy thur a good friend, good friend gives him a phone number which just happens to be my phone number. Guy does not know this, so he texts me, after getting thur awkward moment of who are you and what do you want game, I discovered who this was. My daughter stared texting him and they went out on their first date shortly after that. They had a wonderful time, so much so that they went out the following night, they were to hang out on Sunday but he had family things to do. Now please remember that he was 27 at the time she was 18. My daughter became very ill shortly after this relationship started and was hospitalized after having emergency surgery. This man did not even show up to the hospital, and barely text her and really started putting distance between them. So then the harassment started (we think by an old boy friend, but could never confirm) this was happening to all of us, my daughter her dad and I along with the new guy. She was blamed for the harassment from the new guy. They in turn stopped seeing each other. He told her that he is extremely attracted to her and maybe next year they can try this again. Now mid year the bozo and I have a text conversation, we were both having a bad day and well it was not one of my prouder moments as a mom. I did let him know that he hates all of us and that he is a pedophile. That did not go over well and you can imagine where the conversation went from there. We both needed a time out way before it got to this level. But what is done is done, yes I did apologizes to him but was never acknowledged on his end.
Fast forward, well it is next year and what do you think happened. My daughter contacted him, had a nice text, (what the heck is up with that, pick up the phone once in a while and actually talking, you can at least pick up tones in the other persons voice, that will give you some confirmation of what is going on.) She asked if they could hang out on friday night, he said maybe. Now he never confirmed that they would hang out on friday night. So he texts her about 5pm and tells her that they may still be going out, he will let her know. Well at 830 I asked what was going on she said that he text her and got busy. WTH is wrong with this man, she is a beautiful smart girl who would do anything for anyone, she is a good girl with her head on straight. My daughter could have her pick of guys but she is hung up on this clown. Now back to the rest of this. So I asked if they were going to do this another time? Valid question I thought, she simply said I don't know. I asked if he said anything, she said no that he was sorry but not a hint that they would be talking anytime soon. So my daughter text him to see if he was busy so they could just text and fill each other in on what has been going on in each others lives. Nothing, he never text her back. Now I know that this man works a lot of hours, but I also know that he is a Jack Mormon and likes to hang out with his friends. I am not sure if her age is bothering him or what the deal is, but he needs to be honest with her, this is not fair. I think that this man is just jerking her along, but she doesn't see it. Love is blind right? Is there really hope for this relationship or does he need to come clean. My daughter will not give up on this relationship. They also do not see each other, they live across town from one another and he works a lot, my daughter works and goes to school.
Ideas on how to guide my daughter? My daughter has asked that I not talk to him about what happened previously, she says when the time is right. This just drives me crazy to watch her bowing down to this clown, I need some thoughts or ideas on this, anything will help. TIA.
Have a nice day everyone!
I am sorry for this long off topic post, but I need the advice of everyone here on the DIS.
A little history, I am sorry but it is long.
My 18 year old daughter is beautiful and could have any guy she wants. She has moved on from the high school boys they are way to immature, she prefers men in their mid to late 20"s. She has plans of going to college locally. She is not looking for a husband, but does not want to jump from guy to guy.
Okay this really did happen by the way. Daughter meets guy thur a good friend, good friend gives him a phone number which just happens to be my phone number. Guy does not know this, so he texts me, after getting thur awkward moment of who are you and what do you want game, I discovered who this was. My daughter stared texting him and they went out on their first date shortly after that. They had a wonderful time, so much so that they went out the following night, they were to hang out on Sunday but he had family things to do. Now please remember that he was 27 at the time she was 18. My daughter became very ill shortly after this relationship started and was hospitalized after having emergency surgery. This man did not even show up to the hospital, and barely text her and really started putting distance between them. So then the harassment started (we think by an old boy friend, but could never confirm) this was happening to all of us, my daughter her dad and I along with the new guy. She was blamed for the harassment from the new guy. They in turn stopped seeing each other. He told her that he is extremely attracted to her and maybe next year they can try this again. Now mid year the bozo and I have a text conversation, we were both having a bad day and well it was not one of my prouder moments as a mom. I did let him know that he hates all of us and that he is a pedophile. That did not go over well and you can imagine where the conversation went from there. We both needed a time out way before it got to this level. But what is done is done, yes I did apologizes to him but was never acknowledged on his end.
Fast forward, well it is next year and what do you think happened. My daughter contacted him, had a nice text, (what the heck is up with that, pick up the phone once in a while and actually talking, you can at least pick up tones in the other persons voice, that will give you some confirmation of what is going on.) She asked if they could hang out on friday night, he said maybe. Now he never confirmed that they would hang out on friday night. So he texts her about 5pm and tells her that they may still be going out, he will let her know. Well at 830 I asked what was going on she said that he text her and got busy. WTH is wrong with this man, she is a beautiful smart girl who would do anything for anyone, she is a good girl with her head on straight. My daughter could have her pick of guys but she is hung up on this clown. Now back to the rest of this. So I asked if they were going to do this another time? Valid question I thought, she simply said I don't know. I asked if he said anything, she said no that he was sorry but not a hint that they would be talking anytime soon. So my daughter text him to see if he was busy so they could just text and fill each other in on what has been going on in each others lives. Nothing, he never text her back. Now I know that this man works a lot of hours, but I also know that he is a Jack Mormon and likes to hang out with his friends. I am not sure if her age is bothering him or what the deal is, but he needs to be honest with her, this is not fair. I think that this man is just jerking her along, but she doesn't see it. Love is blind right? Is there really hope for this relationship or does he need to come clean. My daughter will not give up on this relationship. They also do not see each other, they live across town from one another and he works a lot, my daughter works and goes to school.
Ideas on how to guide my daughter? My daughter has asked that I not talk to him about what happened previously, she says when the time is right. This just drives me crazy to watch her bowing down to this clown, I need some thoughts or ideas on this, anything will help. TIA.
