ot: teen nick inappropiate?

[Ava]

I agree - defensive! And I was surprised, too, and I have a dd14, who watches what she wants, as do her gf's.

I was surprised too. I don't have a DD14 (yet), but when I was a teenager I was also allowed to watch what I wanted.

 

[Ava]

All three of them do watch Glee, and while I do think parts of it are suggestive, the 7yo and 4yo like the songs. I don't think they catch on to the "more adult" parts.

This is a good point. I think kids take things in on their own level. Dirty Dancing came out when I was around 7 or 8, and was one of my favorite movies after my older cousin introduced me to it. It wasn't until I saw it many years later as a young adult that I realized what Penny being "in trouble" really meant, and that she had an abortion. As an 8-year-old, I just thought she was sick or got hurt; I didn't read any more into those scenes. As kids gets older, they start to ask questions, which is when mom & dad need to be ready & willing to answer some awkward ones.

 

[jrmasm]

But, IIRC, in the episodes of Full House when DJ & Stephanie are dating/making out with boys, they are teenagers. Their behavior is appropriate for their age. And any misbehavior, like sneaking out, has consequences. They get caught & punished or some wacky mishap occurs that makes them realize they've done wrong & they apologize. I think the "moral" of the episodes is usually good, even if some scenes depict inappropriate behavior. It shows the characters making mistakes & learning from them.

I don't think it matters what the moral is. The subject matters isn't appropriate for 6 years old.

A lot of the episodes are fine but not all of them.

 

[mjkacmom]

This is a good point. I think kids take things in on their own level. Dirty Dancing came out when I was around 7 or 8, and was one of my favorite movies after my older cousin introduced me to it. It wasn't until I saw it many years later as a young adult that I realized what Penny being "in trouble" really meant, and that she had an abortion. As an 8-year-old, I just thought she was sick or got hurt; I didn't read any more into those scenes. As kids gets older, they start to ask questions, which is when mom & dad need to be ready & willing to answer some awkward ones.

I think Grease came out when I was 10, and I loved it, and the music! Isn't a pussywagon a car full of cats?

 

[princessmom29]

^ Wow, defensive much?

I don't think princessmom was condemning anyone for their parenting, I think she was just surprised that people still "police" what their teenagers watch.

exactly. I was certianly not attacking or being critical. I was simply expressing suprise. No offense was intended. I think WAYYY too much was read into what I said. Of course everyone is free to parent as they see fit. It just really does suprise me that people are still policing TV and movies in the teen years. My parents never did for me, and we didn't for my sister. She is signifcantly younger and I basically helped raise her. WE don't have to do al ot of policing for my DD. I certianly don't let her watch Criminal Minds or CSI at 6,but she is a bright, failry amture child that really enjoys a good epic battle secene and can put it in its proper perspective. Overt sexual content and gory or acutely personal violence are pretty much the only thing we feel the need to screen at this point.

 

[pixiewings71]

^ Wow, defensive much?

I don't think princessmom was condemning anyone for their parenting, I think she was just surprised that people still "police" what their teenagers watch.

No not defensive much. She judged me based on a quick post and gave her opinion on something that she has no direct knowledge of. She is not a parent of a 14 year old and as explained I do not have to "police" what my DD14 watches she is capable of making her own choices and generally makes the same choices that I do on her behalf.

I agree - defensive! And I was surprised, too, and I have a dd14, who watches what she wants, as do her gf's.

Really? you let your DD watch whatever she wants to? So the Criminal Minds I described would be OK for your DD to watch? It was pretty graphic and IMO not appropriate for a 14 year old. And I know I'm not the only parent in our group who "polices" what our kids watch as the parents I'm friends with talk about TV with me. Saw? Old School? These are OK for your DD14 to watch?

I think Grease came out when I was 10, and I loved it, and the music! Isn't a pussywagon a car full of cats?

We watch Grease, the kids love it and yes, they think the pussywagon is a car full of cats. LOL Well I'm sure DD14 doesn't anymore but DD10 does. In fact we watched this just a few weeks ago, there are some parts that I cringe at but overall it's a really good movie.

exactly. I was certianly not attacking or being critical. I was simply expressing suprise. No offense was intended.

Really? It sure seemed that way to me, and if you weren't being critical or judging my parenting then why did you not reply to me instead of replying to someone else? IMO Your post was offensive and critical.

I was just looking over our movies and out of all that I see sitting on my shelves the only ones my kids truly aren't allowed to watch are the horror movies (devils rejects, halloween, event horizon) and movies with nudity, I'm not a prude but as a parent it is my job to make sure my kids are raised well and if that includes not watching Teen Nick then that's what it is. I find it surprising that others don't "police" what their children watch on TV. Again, my kids don't live in a bubble, I'm not a helicopter parent but there are some things on TV (and in movies) that kids shouldn't see and as the parent I'm the one who makes those decisions in the end.

I also find it ironic that the 2 threads I'm participating in on the family board in one we are talking about how much freedom we give our kids and in another I'm being condemned for "policing" what is shown on my TV. Interesting contrast there.....

 

[princessmom29]

No not defensive much. She judged me based on a quick post and gave her opinion on something that she has no direct knowledge of. She is not a parent of a 14 year old and as explained I do not have to "police" what my DD14 watches she is capable of making her own choices and generally makes the same choices that I do on her behalf.



Really? you let your DD watch whatever she wants to? So the Criminal Minds I described would be OK for your DD to watch? It was pretty graphic and IMO not appropriate for a 14 year old. And I know I'm not the only parent in our group who "polices" what our kids watch as the parents I'm friends with talk about TV with me. Saw? Old School? These are OK for your DD14 to watch?



We watch Grease, the kids love it and yes, they think the pussywagon is a car full of cats. LOL Well I'm sure DD14 doesn't anymore but DD10 does. In fact we watched this just a few weeks ago, there are some parts that I cringe at but overall it's a really good movie.



Really? It sure seemed that way to me, and if you weren't being critical or judging my parenting then why did you not reply to me instead of replying to someone else? IMO Your post was offensive and critical.

I was just looking over our movies and out of all that I see sitting on my shelves the only ones my kids truly aren't allowed to watch are the horror movies (devils rejects, halloween, event horizon) and movies with nudity, I'm not a prude but as a parent it is my job to make sure my kids are raised well and if that includes not watching Teen Nick then that's what it is. I find it surprising that others don't "police" what their children watch on TV. Again, my kids don't live in a bubble, I'm not a helicopter parent but there are some things on TV (and in movies) that kids shouldn't see and as the parent I'm the one who makes those decisions in the end.

I also find it ironic that the 2 threads I'm participating in on the family board in one we are talking about how much freedom we give our kids and in another I'm being condemned for "policing" what is shown on my TV. Interesting contrast there.....

AGIAN. no one is critizing YOU. Period. I am just truly suprised. That is all. As I said, I am significantly older than my younger sister, I essentailly could have been her mother and helped raise her(she lived with me at one point), so I have raised a teenager. We never policed what she watched. It suprises me that people do. I just cannot think of anything on TV, even today, that I wouldn't have let her watch as a high school freshman, yes even last week's criminal minds. I feel that she was mature enough at that age to digest it and realize it is nowhere near acceptable behavior and move on. It is your buisness how you choose to raise your children and I am certianly not bieng critical of that. It appears that many others here read my post as I intended it, simply as an expression of suprise at the fact that there are those out there who are still policing what teens are watching becuase I have never seen a need. It was not a value judgment at all, and I am sorry you took it that way.

 

[mjkacmom]

Really? you let your DD watch whatever she wants to? So the Criminal Minds I described would be OK for your DD to watch? It was pretty graphic and IMO not appropriate for a 14 year old. And I know I'm not the only parent in our group who "polices" what our kids watch as the parents I'm friends with talk about TV with me. Saw? Old School? These are OK for your DD14 to watch?

...

Really, although she hates scary movies, and has no interest in Criminal Minds (ds12's favorite show, BTW), I let her watch what she wants. She's very involed in musical theater, so has seen Rent. Ds12 loves Sweeney Todd - very gory, but he loves the music (he also loves theater). My 2 older kids' friends all have older siblings, so they started watching things out of the house years ago. I don't censor books, either. When ds12 was 10, he kept glorifying war, after playing some video games outside the house. We watched Saving Private Ryan, to show him what war can really be like.

I do have to admit I was hoping my kids didn't notice the painting of 2 muscular naked men making out when we ere at a caste party we went to when dd14 (then 12) was in a local theater's production of The Sound of Music! But with theater, dd has matured a lot, because she's usually one of the youngest there.

 

[princessmom29]

Really, although she hates scary movies, and has no interest in Criminal Minds (ds12's favorite show, BTW), I let her watch what she wants. She's very involed in musical theater, so has seen Rent. Ds12 loves Sweeney Todd - very gory, but he loves the music (he also loves theater). My 2 older kids' friends all have older siblings, so they started watching things out of the house years ago. I don't censor books, either. When ds12 was 10, he kept glorifying war, after playing some video games outside the house. We watched Saving Private Ryan, to show him what war can really be like.

I do have to admit I was hoping my kids didn't notice the painting of 2 muscular naked men making out when we ere at a caste party we went to when dd14 (then 12) was in a local theater's production of The Sound of Music! But with theater, dd has matured a lot, because she's usually one of the youngest there.

Sounds like we are operating on similar philosophies. This is my goal for my house when DD is a teen. Kids have thier own interests and are mature enough to handle them!

 

[princessmorgan]

I don't have teenagers yet, but I have 4 daughters and you bet I'm going to monitor what they watch on TV when they're 14 and even when they're 17. Some people call it policing; I call it parenting. As long as my children are living in my house, they are going to live by my rules. If my husband and I don't watch shows like Family Guy, Jersey Shore, or the Teen Nick dramas, why would I want my daughters to watch that stuff? Every parent has a right to allow or not allow their children to watch or participate in whatever they choose. I hope we can all respect each other's opinions.

 

[pixiewings71]

AGIAN. no one is critizing YOU. Period. I am just truly suprised. That is all. As I said, I am significantly older than my younger sister, I essentailly could have been her mother and helped raise her(she lived with me at one point), so I have raised a teenager. We never policed what she watched. It suprises me that people do. I just cannot think of anything on TV, even today, that I wouldn't have let her watch as a high school freshman, yes even last week's criminal minds. I feel that she was mature enough at that age to digest it and realize it is nowhere near acceptable behavior and move on. It is your buisness how you choose to raise your children and I am certianly not bieng critical of that. It appears that many others here read my post as I intended it, simply as an expression of suprise at the fact that there are those out there who are still policing what teens are watching becuase I have never seen a need. It was not a value judgment at all, and I am sorry you took it that way.

I apologize if you feel I over-reacted to your reply. I hope you can re-read it and perhaps see where I'm coming from. You did target me, when you quoted my post and basically said I was crazy for "policing" what DD14 watches on TV. I also have 2 younger siblings, much younger, and my Mom also "policed" what we watched on TV. Bottom line, there are some things on TV that I do not feel are appropriate, so until DD is paying for her own TV she will respect what we tell her not to watch.

Really, although she hates scary movies, and has no interest in Criminal Minds (ds12's favorite show, BTW), I let her watch what she wants. She's very involed in musical theater, so has seen Rent. Ds12 loves Sweeney Todd - very gory, but he loves the music (he also loves theater). My 2 older kids' friends all have older siblings, so they started watching things out of the house years ago. I don't censor books, either. When ds12 was 10, he kept glorifying war, after playing some video games outside the house. We watched Saving Private Ryan, to show him what war can really be like.

I do have to admit I was hoping my kids didn't notice the painting of 2 muscular naked men making out when we ere at a caste party we went to when dd14 (then 12) was in a local theater's production of The Sound of Music! But with theater, dd has matured a lot, because she's usually one of the youngest there.

I honestly can't see why CM would be OK to watch. I just have to disagree with you on this one. I don't think a 12 year old is mature enough to process fully what CM is all about, altho I don't know your DS and you do so that's a decision best left to you. And while I love Saving Private Ryan (and Forrest Gump) my kids won't see them for at least a couple more years. I don't censor books either, if my kids want to read them they read them. DD10 wants to see Sweeney Todd (big Johnny Depp fan) but so far I've managed to resist letting her. DD22 told me it's "not that bad Mom" but I haven't seen it so I don't know. lol

Sounds like we are operating on similar philosophies. This is my goal for my house when DD is a teen. Kids have thier own interests and are mature enough to handle them!

Not all kids are mature enough to handle them, this I know from first hand experience and not good first hand experience. Unfortunately you'll just have to take my word. No, not one of my kids, one of my kids' friends and no, it wasn't not a pleasant outcome.

I don't have teenagers yet, but I have 4 daughters and you bet I'm going to monitor what they watch on TV when they're 14 and even when they're 17. Some people call it policing; I call it parenting. As long as my children are living in my house, they are going to live by my rules. If my husband and I don't watch shows like Family Guy, Jersey Shore, or the Teen Nick dramas, why would I want my daughters to watch that stuff? Every parent has a right to allow or not allow their children to watch or participate in whatever they choose. I hope we can all respect each other's opinions.

I certainly didn't expect to get "called out" for my post, I was quite surprised that so many people questioned me on it. We don't watch "garbage" TV as adults, as you said why let the kids watch it?

 

[princessmom29]

I apologize if you feel I over-reacted to your reply. I hope you can re-read it and perhaps see where I'm coming from. You did target me, when you quoted my post and basically said I was crazy for "policing" what DD14 watches on TV. I also have 2 younger siblings, much younger, and my Mom also "policed" what we watched on TV. Bottom line, there are some things on TV that I do not feel are appropriate, so until DD is paying for her own TV she will respect what we tell her not to watch.

Agian, I am sorry if I inavertently offended you but I DID NOT "target" you. I don't like the implication that I called anyone "crazy" that is a word I DON'T use in connection with a person, ever. It has really nasty connotations and I don't like it. I have said multiple times that everyone is free to parent their own children however they see fit. The only implication I tried to make was that it was highly suprising to me that some are policing what their teens are watching as it is something that was never done in my home, and not soemthing that it would enter my mind to do.

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Did you say 14? You are still policing what a 14 year old watches? That is very suprising to me. I teach high school, and most of the 14,15,16 year olds that come through my room make thier own viewing decisions, and frankly are certianly intelligent and mature enough to do so. I cannot imagine telling my DD at 14 that she is "not allowed" to watch anything!

With all of the scary horrible things our kids are getting into today - pregnancies, drugs, bullying, etc... shouldn't we be giving KUDOS to those parents who do "police" their tweens and teens? Just a thought....

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Some people call it policing; I call it parenting.

:

 

[princessmom29]

With all of the scary horrible things our kids are getting into today - pregnancies, drugs, bullying, etc... shouldn't we be giving KUDOS to those parents who do "police" their tweens and teens? Just a thought....

Do you REALLY want to know what I think? Well, then here it is. This is only MY opinon, and what I choose to do. YMMV.
Here are a few key lessons years of teaching high school and dealing with teens have taught me:
I would rather teach my teen to know right from wrong, and be able to think for herself and react effectively to an questonable situation than to shelter her from anything "inapproiate". Why? Because there will come a day, and no matter how much you shelter them it WILL come, when thay are going to be faced with all of this "inapproiate" stuff in real life. For most it is LONG before they are 18. If you don't believe me, then spend just one day in a high school fading into the background and really listening to teen conversations when they think you don't hear. They are faced with sex, alcohol, and myriad of other potential pitfalls EVERY DAY. What they watch on TV is the least of your worries. Kids who are sheltered form everything, and whose parents do their best not to let them be exposed to anything "questionable" have NO clue how to react and are much more likely to get pulled along with the crowd or give in to the first boy who shows interest becuase the KNOW they are different form thier peers and are just trying to fit in. Kids whose parents actually allow exposure to the "questionale" in life and discuss how to handle is are confident in themeslves and and usually do fine.
I know many will likely disagree with this, but I spend 7 hours a day emmersed in teen life, and have wached countless children go through this. I WON'T be raisnig DD in a bubble and policing her every choice and move becuase I have seen the disaster that can result. I want her to be armed with the confidence to do the right thing. That means I have ot relinquish some control and allow her to make her own decisions, not the least of which is what she will watch on TV. I just have to wonder what else parents are policing if a 14 year old cannot even watch and R rated movie, and what the consequences of that will be.

This is not to say that I won't be involved in her life, know where she is going, and who she is spending time with. I will however be letting her make her own decisons in as much as I can. I cannot be with her every minute. If she cannot pick her own TV shows, then how is she going to pick her own boyfriends? Make the important decisons like when to have sex and with whom? Sould I go ahead and get palstered because everyone else is? Becuase wether you realize it or not, the vast majority of teens are fraced with these decisons, even at 14. If they have never been exposed to the realitys of life, not even on those "inapproiate" TV shows, then how are the supposed to make mature informed decisions about them?

I think there would be less of all the things you listed if there was an open and honest dialouge going on about the fact that they exist, nad how to deal with them rather than an attempt to shield our children from any mention of them.

 

[Cinderella94]

Do you REALLY want to know what I think? Well, then here it is. This is only MY opinon, and what I choose to do. YMMV.
Here are a few key lessons years of teaching high school and dealing with teens have taught me:
I would rather teach my teen to know right from wrong, and be able to think for herself and react effectively to an questonable situation than to shelter her from anything "inapproiate". Why? Because there will come a day, and no matter how much you shelter them it WILL come, when thay are going to be faced with all of this "inapproiate" stuff in real life. For most it is LONG before they are 18. If you don't believe me, then spend just one day in a high school fading into the background and really listening to teen conversations when they think you don't hear. They are faced with sex, alcohol, and myriad of other potential pitfalls EVERY DAY. What they watch on TV is the least of your worries. Kids who are sheltered form everything, and whose parents do their best not to let them be exposed to anything "questionable" have NO clue how to react and are much more likely to get pulled along with the crowd or give in to the first boy who shows interest becuase the KNOW they are different form thier peers and are just trying to fit in. Kids whose parents actually allow exposure to the "questionale" in life and discuss how to handle is are confident in themeslves and and usually do fine.
I know many will likely disagree with this, but I spend 7 hours a day emmersed in teen life, and have wached countless children go through this. I WON'T be raisnig DD in a bubble and policing her every choice and move becuase I have seen the disaster that can result. I want her to be armed with the confidence to do the right thing. That means I have ot relinquish some control and allow her to make her own decisions, not the least of which is what she will watch on TV. I just have to wonder what else parents are policing if a 14 year old cannot even watch and R rated movie, and what the consequences of that will be.

This is not to say that I won't be involved in her life, know where she is going, and who she is spending time with. I will however be letting her make her own decisons in as much as I can. I cannot be with her every minute. If she cannot pick her own TV shows, then how is she going to pick her own boyfriends? Make the important decisons like when to have sex and with whom? Sould I go ahead and get palstered because everyone else is? Becuase wether you realize it or not, the vast majority of teens are fraced with these decisons, even at 14. If they have never been exposed to the realitys of life, not even on those "inapproiate" TV shows, then how are the supposed to make mature informed decisions about them?

I think there would be less of all the things you listed if there was an open and honest dialouge going on about the fact that they exist, nad how to deal with them rather than an attempt to shield our children from any mention of them.

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Do you REALLY want to know what I think? Well, then here it is. This is only MY opinon, and what I choose to do. YMMV.
Here are a few key lessons years of teaching high school and dealing with teens have taught me:
I would rather teach my teen to know right from wrong, and be able to think for herself and react effectively to an questonable situation than to shelter her from anything "inapproiate". Why? Because there will come a day, and no matter how much you shelter them it WILL come, when thay are going to be faced with all of this "inapproiate" stuff in real life. For most it is LONG before they are 18. If you don't believe me, then spend just one day in a high school fading into the background and really listening to teen conversations when they think you don't hear. They are faced with sex, alcohol, and myriad of other potential pitfalls EVERY DAY. What they watch on TV is the least of your worries. Kids who are sheltered form everything, and whose parents do their best not to let them be exposed to anything "questionable" have NO clue how to react and are much more likely to get pulled along with the crowd or give in to the first boy who shows interest becuase the KNOW they are different form thier peers and are just trying to fit in. Kids whose parents actually allow exposure to the "questionale" in life and discuss how to handle is are confident in themeslves and and usually do fine.
I know many will likely disagree with this, but I spend 7 hours a day emmersed in teen life, and have wached countless children go through this. I WON'T be raisnig DD in a bubble and policing her every choice and move becuase I have seen the disaster that can result. I want her to be armed with the confidence to do the right thing. That means I have ot relinquish some control and allow her to make her own decisions, not the least of which is what she will watch on TV. I just have to wonder what else parents are policing if a 14 year old cannot even watch and R rated movie, and what the consequences of that will be.

This is not to say that I won't be involved in her life, know where she is going, and who she is spending time with. I will however be letting her make her own decisons in as much as I can. I cannot be with her every minute. If she cannot pick her own TV shows, then how is she going to pick her own boyfriends? Make the important decisons like when to have sex and with whom? Sould I go ahead and get palstered because everyone else is? Becuase wether you realize it or not, the vast majority of teens are fraced with these decisons, even at 14. If they have never been exposed to the realitys of life, not even on those "inapproiate" TV shows, then how are the supposed to make mature informed decisions about them?

I think there would be less of all the things you listed if there was an open and honest dialouge going on about the fact that they exist, nad how to deal with them rather than an attempt to shield our children from any mention of them.

Very well put. I hadn't thought of it from that perspective.

 

[pixiewings71]

My children do not live in a bubble, they know bad stuff can happen and they do know about teen pregnancy. I was 16 when I had my oldest DD, we are open and we do talk, DD14 tells me regularly how awesome it is that she can come and talk to me about anything at all, her friends come talk to me because they can't talk to their parents about personal things. Most of my girls friends (all 3 of my girls) call me Mom. I never said that they weren't allowed to watch R rated movies, they can but only AFTER they are reviewed by us, their parents, and deemed appropriate enough to watch. I do not want my 14 year old, or my 10 year old to feel that they need to be what TV or movies suggest they should be, I want them to be what they feel they should be, to that end we do limit what they do see. I don't police their every choice, I work with them to make (what I hope are) the right choices but I do have the right to make the final decision.
Tonight when I picked DD14 up after school she came up with 2 kittens, obviously undernourished and not from a house cat (no houses near enough for the kitties to have come from either). I asked what the situation was, she said "Mom we (she was with friends) watched these kittens for a long time, at least an hour, they were just playing over there (she pointed to some bushes) and we watched to see if Momma Cat would come back. We never saw a Momma Cat and we didn't get close until we knew you were almost here (she and DD10 were texting so DD14 knew where we were and how long it would take to get to her), we can't just leave them here, we need to take care of them and adopt them out. I know it's going to be hard, I know M will be upset but we can't leave them here." so she brought home 2 kittens, she fed them, she made a box for them to sleep in and she has them with her in her room. Obviously I can't be doing too bad a job if she's that aware of what's going on. Again, my children do not live in a bubble, I'm not a helicopter parent and I give my girls more freedoms then a lot of parents I know. But I stand by what I said earlier, I do not like the content on a lot of TV these days and I will continue to screen what they watch.

I do understand what you're saying princessmom and I agree with you, clearly we have differing opinions on how to be successful and we will have to agree to disagree. Which is 100% fine, it's totally possible for people to have different opinions, that what makes life so interesting. I'll stick with what I've already done with DD22 and you can stick with whatever you did with your sister, different strokes for different folks.

 

[polkadotsuitcase]

Things were so much simpler back in the day when we only had three TV channels to choose from!

Although, I'd gotten some of my favorite '80s movies for my kids to watch and I was surprised at what flew then that is definitely cringe-worthy today!

 

[mrsr2ro]

I'm not looking forward to the preteen/teen years, that's for sure. Forget TV, I'm freaked out about the internet and what all can be found there!

My brother and his wife, who are fairly conservative in raising their kids, have a 12yo who convinced them to let him buy an ipod touch with his holiday/b-day money. They did thinking it was just a music player. After he already had it they realized it's capabilities regarding internet access. Sure they put whatever controls they could on it but I assure you a 12yo knows how to get around them.