OT- Son blew it for Christmas

[tl_swift]

I am so mad at my son right now. His main present for Christmas was an Ipod clock/radio that I shopped for at 4:00AM on Black Friday. He just told me that he lost his Ipod last week and he is just now getting around to telling me. I am just so upset with him because he has been making irresponsible decisions left and right the last couple of weeks. Also, this weekend DH took special time to take him shopping for Christmas and get his suit for a concert he has coming up. Well, after they picked up the suit and got lunch DS told him he had to go back home and work on his school final. Dad was glad he was making a school decision but... he doesnt have free time all the time to take him to the mall when ever he wants. Then.... after all that DH goes to check on how his progress was going and found him playing Runescape online. DH blew a gasket

 

[starrzone]

I only ask because he sounds like my 15-year old brother's twin! My bother wanted me to take him shopping a couple weeks ago for Christmas presents. I told him repeatedly to TELL ME if he couldn't make it, because I had to arrange some things to be able to take him. Well, sure enough I ask him on Sunday morning: "So, do you still want to go shopping this afternoon?". "Uh...I guess so...Johnny called and wanted me to go play squash with him"...Well, I reminded him that HE was the one who asked ME to go shopping, I had cleared my afternoon, and we WERE going to go!

It's a teen boy thing (assuming your son is a teen)...they are always losing things, or think they lost them. I would suggest double and triple checking to make sure the IPod really IS lost, and then tell him that he has to buy a new one with his own money. I know that's worked with my brother in the past, and now that he has a job and has to spend his own money on things, he's a lot more careful.

 

[noahdove]

I would take the new IPOD clock/radio back and fast!
If his IPOD really was a treasure, then he would have kept better track of it. My girls now grown and on their own, knew this was the rule in our home..My married daughter now uses the same line on her step-daughter..so far, nothing lost...and she is very appreciatative of everything she has here...good luck, and I am not sure that I agree that it's a teen thing...but I would double check to see if he really lost it......

 

[tl_swift]

I only ask because he sounds like my 15-year old brother's twin! My bother wanted me to take him shopping a couple weeks ago for Christmas presents. I told him repeatedly to TELL ME if he couldn't make it, because I had to arrange some things to be able to take him. Well, sure enough I ask him on Sunday morning: "So, do you still want to go shopping this afternoon?". "Uh...I guess so...Johnny called and wanted me to go play squash with him"...Well, I reminded him that HE was the one who asked ME to go shopping, I had cleared my afternoon, and we WERE going to go!

It's a teen boy thing (assuming your son is a teen)...they are always losing things, or think they lost them. I would suggest double and triple checking to make sure the IPod really IS lost, and then tell him that he has to buy a new one with his own money. I know that's worked with my brother in the past, and now that he has a job and has to spend his own money on things, he's a lot more careful.

Yes, he is just about 15. In fact he will be 15 on the 15th of this month. Thankfully he found the Ipod. It fell between his bed and the wall. Until just recently he has always been pretty good about keeping track of his stuff. I know this year as a freshman in highschool it has been a little hard. His best friend moved. His other close friend changed schools. So I am trying to be understanding but in the mean time he is driving us crazy!!!

 

[starrzone]

I figured he was around that age!!! I know my brother drives my mother crazy...and HE knows he does it too! He sounds just like your son- he says he lost something, but it's really in his room under a pile of stuff that he hasn't gotten around to cleaning up yet. 15 year olds are hilarious, though- they're not kids, but they're not yet old enough to drive. My brother has one close friend from when he was 3, and a group of them always hang out together. It's always a hoot driving them places- being a chauffeur is a great way to get the "scoop" on what's going on! I think that letting him know that you're mad at him (whether he misplaces something or does something else) is a good thing; I'm glad my mother did that to me. It helped me to take better care of my possessions and to consider how my actions impacted others.

 

[DawnM]

I didn't really understand what you were saying about the mall....do you mean your son has more shopping to do and didn't get it done? They got the suit they went for right?

You as parents have every right to say, "I am available to take you to the mall on this date and at this time, please plan your school work accordingly or you will not be able to go to the mall as I don't have any other times available."

Dawn

 

[Iott Family]

I didn't really understand what you were saying about the mall....do you mean your son has more shopping to do and didn't get it done? They got the suit they went for right?

You as parents have every right to say, "I am available to take you to the mall on this date and at this time, please plan your school work accordingly or you will not be able to go to the mall as I don't have any other times available."

Dawn

I totally agree with what Dawn is saying and I so totally understand what you are going through. As the mother of four with a tweener we are now going through this. Issues with responsibility for her actions, decisions and being accountable and getting her priorities lined up. I swear im going to be bald from pulling my hair out, so to speak! Im told they do eventually get it together but in the mean time we have removed certain privelages until she steps up to the bat responsibly. Just know you are not alone, many of us share your pain, and you are the parent and parents wield the power, not the child!

 

[LisaNJ25]

i have a 15yo also.. ugg what headaches lol

He bough himself an xbox 360 on black friday.. i was planning on giving him money towards if for xmas. He knew we couldn't afford the whole thing. HE was impatient and wanted it NOW so I made him use his money..

I took it away from him a few days ago since he would not clean his room.. the rule also was the room had to be clean to put the xbox in there and play it. He got around that by bringing his tv to the dinning room and playing it there.. I gave him a few days and let him play to get it out of his system.

I checked him room today and its almost spotless I havent seen the floor in about a year lol

ohh.. and he had this mindset that since he paid for it with his money I had no right to take it away

 

[aterriq]

ohh.. and he had this mindset that since he paid for it with his money I had no right to take it away

Tell you agree with him but then he has to get his own source of electricity.

 

[TXTurtles]

ohh.. and he had this mindset that since he paid for it with his money I had no right to take it away

When I was his age I would have said the same thing and even presented a fantastic case for myself (my parents thought for a while I'd go into law with all the arguing I did) ... unfortunately I would have forgotten that, while the game system was mine, the TV, electricity, and floorspace all belonged to my parents!

 

[mandysbus]

my parents would have said, "yep, its yours....you just cant play it on our tv anymore"

 

[NicRI]

I'd give him the present anyway.... And tell him now he's got to do something extra to earn the money for a new Ipod (If he doesn't have job already).

You don't have to make the trip to return the gift, and you get more stuff done around the house if he wants a new one.

(You can get referbished ones from Apple's website.)