OT: Skipping Kindergarden

[ThreeMusketeers]

Thank you so much for all the advice. I tottally agree. And I am glad that someone else said it! I needed some back up here. We were told by the school, and 2 evaluators that she should skip kindergarden or go into this private school in the area that is geared towards "gifted"children.
Well, I know my child best. And although DH is " happy" that she is "gifted" and is all for her going right into first grade. I am NOT!
She is very smart. And not just reading early, she counts to crazy high numbers, as in over 200, can do it by 10's, 5's, 2's. She has been adding and subtracting all year. (on paper), she is VERY creative and thoughtful for her age... Can tell time on a face clock. Her writting is really good. Blah blah blha i can go on. She is very bright. (educationally) but socially, she still has issues listening to the teacher and not talking in class.(which they think she does b/c she is bored.) And the full day thing is really something that she will need to get used to. Even though the teachers think that she could very well do this. I don't. And I think that is the way it will be determined here. I really think that Kindergarden will be good for her in other ways..and my husband and I are pretty educated people. We can give her some extra "mindful" stimulation here at home and by traveling.

 

[solgent]

haven't read the replies, just want to share my experience

1) when I was in school the "cutoff" was 12/31. everyone born the same calendar year was in the same grade. my birthday is 12/19 so I was one of the youngest. I entered school at 1st grade (at the age of 5 years, 9 months) & the school skipped me to 2nd grade. I graduated from HS at 16 and from college (Ivy League) at 20. it was fine. to me just the way it was & I didn't experience any problems.

2) for twin DDs, the cutoff is now 9/1. you must be 5 by 9/1 to enter K. their birthday is 9/15. they went to a private preschool. so at the age of 5 years and 50 weeks, they entered K. I knew they were advanced but the school assured me that all children are challenged at their own level. we were fine with that. after a few weeks the school (both of their K teachers, the guidance counselor & the principal) recommended moving them to 1st grade. they are in 7th grade now & it is fine. they have friends & are doing well academically.

so I think skipping is perfectly OK to do-- IF the school thinks it's right for your child and you agree. I myself would not try to make it happen. In both cases of myself & my kids, my interpretation is that that particular school was simply saying they could best serve the child's needs in the next grade. at another school things might have gone differently & that would have been fine too. I am not in favor of skipping or against it. it is a very individual thing-- based on just on the child's capabilities, maturity, etc., but also on the approach that school prefers to take.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I wouldn't have her skip kindergarten. She needs the time to develop socially and emotionally. Also, remember that kindergarten has changed a lot in the past several years. When I went (in the 70s, yikes!), we did a lot of painting, playing, etc. It's now a lot more academic. Even a bright preschooler can gain a lot from the experience. And, if you send her to 1st grade early, she'll always be a year behind her classmates in terms of growth and development. They'll be maturing before her, driving before her, etc. Plus, if she's truly more advanced academically than the other kids her age, she'll have a distinct advantage. She'll have the chance to become a role model for the other kids in her class and could potentially develop some wonderful leadership skills. Any teacher would love to have a child in the class like that.

If school remains less than challenging for her, you can get her into some afterschool programs to keep her stimulated. How about piano lessons, learning a foreign language or art? Ask her what she might like to learn about. The possibilities are endless!

 

[zoemurr]

My DD read the Little house series on her own at 4. She was multiplying, and is just crazy smart. (She didn't get it from me..) On the advice of her preschool teacher I had the elem school test her 5 mos before K. Her IQ was off the chart, and her reading/comp was 5th grade. She is very tall and mature, but there was NO WAY that she could skip K. (She missed the cut off by 6 weeks.) This is just NOT DONE.

So we went with K. She liked it, but was doing terrible work on purpose. She wouldn't answer questions in front of the class, write more than 2 words on her paper, or check out chapter books. "I feel different and don't want anyone to know I can read." It was very sad.

Near the end of the year I met with her "would be" 1st grade teacher. She had mapped out a whole year of "special" things my kid would be doing.. by herself. Own reading and math assignments. It looked great on paper, but I knew she would still feel different. So I brought up skipping her. Now that the school knew her it wasn't a problem at all, and she was moved up the next week.

That was near the end of K and then she went to 2nd grade when she should have gone to 1st. She was one of 2 kids in the district to get a perfect score on the 3rd grade IQ test, and most people don't even know she skipped. She is very social, and has already decided to take a year off between HS/college (with our blessing) to catch up.

So.. maybe you should start K and see how it goes? A mid year skip worked fine for us. The other thing you need to consider though, is that there are quite a few kids (boys mainly) who are 2 years older than her because so many people hold their kids back now.

Good luck.. we lost a lot of sleep over this too. A skip can definitely work if it is the right kind of kid.

 

[tfiga]

My son was turning 5 on our cut off day for Kindergarten, so I had him go to a young 5 program offered in our district. Well when he went to Kindergarten he was bored and I thought about skipping him up...Next thing I knew he was excited about school...His teacher had seen the problem and asked him to help another child to learn to read. My son went from being a shy and quiet child to a self assured confident boy. Academically he did not learn alot in Kindergarten but he received something far more valuable, self esteem and confidence. Maybe I am lucky but every teacher we have had has made sure my son was challenged...I would suggest send her to Kindergarten..You can always advance her later, but it is a lot harder to hold her back.

 

[CampbellScot]

Pretty much everybody has already said this...but as a lisenced social worker and behaviorist (and a child who graduated high school at 16)I gotta chime in...Kindergarten is a very important time that is unique unto itself. It is a time where children learn social skills and group socialization dynamics. Kindergarten isn't so much about the "academics" as it is learning about "how school works"...how to be a member of a class...a place where tantrums of toddlers are no longer the background music to your day. It's a place where "using your words" isn't just a suggestions but a requirement. They learn about "seat work" and raising your hand...all the things a kiddo needs to know about school. They have the opportunity to observe "older kids" and how they behave while at school. Pre school isn't Kindergarten, no matter how precocious your child may be. By and large, children who have skipped kindergarten have a harder time socially as they age. Younger children are in a class full of kids who are older and more mature, however slightly. They will be expected to behave like a first grader. This puts a lot of pressure on a child who may be academically gifted but is socially behind. This is not a good mix. It often leads to anxiety and behavioral issues. Also think about where you will be placing your child socially in middle and high school..even college...b/c it does matter...more so as they age than when they are young...IMHO...

Let your little one experience the padded world of kindergarten where she will have a nice gentle bridge between preschool and "the real world".

In my experience, I was always the youngest and shortest kid in the class. I earned the nickname "Pixie Dust" (how appropriate for a Dis board!) I didn't mind it really, but everyone treated me like the class mascot. I was a first grader moved into third grade. I WAS an oddity. The bigger girls would have me sit on their laps. I won't even go into what happened when I was a 12 year old high school Freshman...it was SO hard. Suddenly my friends were dating older boys, hanging out with seniors...and there I was...a child. It was a lonely experience a lot of the time. I couldn't even get my lisence until my senior year. It wasn't all bad but there were "issues". I hung out with older girls...I started to lie about my age. I was witness to things a "should be" middle schooler probably shouldn't have been. Then there is College at 16...same issue...I was a child amongst young adults. Of course in college I flat out lied and said I was 18. I wasn't having the condescending looks of my high school years, NO WAY!

My parents never knew how tough it was b/c I did so well academically and I was invovled in so many activities and sports...they thought it had worked out well. Of course those same experts that said I would be bored in first grade are now dead set against children skipping grades...I think my generation of kids were part of a social experiment...the results varied.

anyhow...that's one "skipped" kiddos story!!! Take from it what you will...but I would suggest you let your little girl stay with her age mates and supplement her schooling with special classes or lessons outside of school. She'll do just as well but not be a social freak!

good luck!!!

 

[taximomfor4]

My DD read the Little house series on her own at 4. She was multiplying, and is just crazy smart. (She didn't get it from me..) On the advice of her preschool teacher I had the elem school test her 5 mos before K. Her IQ was off the chart, and her reading/comp was 5th grade. She is very tall and mature, but there was NO WAY that she could skip K. (She missed the cut off by 6 weeks.) This is just NOT DONE.

So we went with K. She liked it, but was doing terrible work on purpose. She wouldn't answer questions in front of the class, write more than 2 words on her paper, or check out chapter books. "I feel different and don't want anyone to know I can read." It was very sad.

Near the end of the year I met with her "would be" 1st grade teacher. She had mapped out a whole year of "special" things my kid would be doing.. by herself. Own reading and math assignments. It looked great on paper, but I knew she would still feel different. So I brought up skipping her. Now that the school knew her it wasn't a problem at all, and she was moved up the next week.

That was near the end of K and then she went to 2nd grade when she should have gone to 1st. She was one of 2 kids in the district to get a perfect score on the 3rd grade IQ test, and most people don't even know she skipped. She is very social, and has already decided to take a year off between HS/college (with our blessing) to catch up.

So.. maybe you should start K and see how it goes? A mid year skip worked fine for us. The other thing you need to consider though, is that there are quite a few kids (boys mainly) who are 2 years older than her because so many people hold their kids back now.

Good luck.. we lost a lot of sleep over this too. A skip can definitely work if it is the right kind of kid.

Maybe I am getting a bit OT here, but how does one get a perfect score on an IQ test? I know that some tests have a "ceiling" where it will cluster kids, but then there are other IQ tests (such as the old Stanford Binet LM) they will pull out and lift the ceiling. They did this for my dd when she was 7...and then stopped the IQ test 2 days later, when she had scored into the "Profoundly Gifted" IQ range...the psychologist said there was no need to continue the test, we had gotten a quite high-enough number, and said "Think Doogie Howser."

My dd will (if she stays put in her grade) graduate high school at 16. She truly needs another grade-skip. For kids who have THAT high an IQ, one grade-skip isn't going to really cut it. They will move to a higher grade, then still learn faster and need another gradeskip later.

Oh, and high achievers and "gifted" kids are not always one and the same. MY dd that I mentioned above also has ADHD...she is not medicated, and will will always work hard to get A's and B's because of issues with that.

Beth

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

I am not a believer in skipping grades. Both my kids are very gifted (high genius IQs) and we did not consider letting them skip grades. Even gifted programs at school may not be challenging enough for some kids, so you may as well keep them with their age group peers and provide enrichment programs and activities on your own, or see what you can get your school district to provide. Be warned many schools provide lots of help for kids with problems and none for gifted kids (yes, BOTH deserve extra support).

You learn far more in school than just academics!

 

[taximomfor4]

I am not a believer in skipping grades. Both my kids are very gifted (high genius IQs) and we did not consider letting them skip grades. Even gifted programs at school may not be challenging enough for some kids, so you may as well keep them with their age group peers and provide enrichment programs and activities on your own, or see what you can get your school district to provide. Be warned many schools provide lots of help for kids with problems and none for gifted kids (yes, BOTH deserve extra support).

You learn far more in school than just academics!

We made the opposite decision for one dd, as stated in my pp...we went ahead and put her in Kindergarten at the correct age, then skipped her later as needed. We figured, let the school teach her academics, and we will worry about her socialization. We do this through church youth group, music, and dancing (with mixed ages). She is 13 (will graduate high school in 3 1/2 yrs) now...her best friends that she spends the most time with outside school are between 12 and 14 yrs old.

We are more worried about whether we'll let her go "away" to college than how she'll feel when classmates start driving.

Honestly, when she was gradeskipped, it was down to either doing that or pulling her out of school altogether to homeschool her. We felt the better plan was to go ahead and gradeskip, and when all the foreseen (by others) gloom and doom struck THEN we'd pull her out and homeschool her. So far, none of the dire predictions have occurred. Nobody knows her age, although I guess the day will come when she'll let it be known. Her self esteem is awesome. She is very involved in extracurriculars (science club, 1st chair in the strings orchestra, painting a mural in the 9th grade hallway, etc). All those things have multiple grade levels in them.

So she, so far, is one of the kids that was suitable for gradeskipping. Do I advise it to other parents? Nope, I advise talking to the school's teachers, etc, talking to a psychologist or psychoeducational counselor (we talked to 3 total, in her extensive testing and 2 yrs of counseling during and after the skip). But for SOME kids, it is fine to do. Problem is, you can't always tell which kids until it's done and the cards fall!!

 

[Mrs.PrinceCharming]

I've taught both first grade and kindergarten for many years. I wouldn't recommend for her to skip. To encourage her at home, I would get her a journal and let her write, write, write. Kindergarteners are expected to write stories with a beginning, middle, and end by the end of the kindergarten year.
Many of my "brighter" kids love writing it journals and they write amazing stories.

 

[sdrsdd]

As a kindergarten teacher---my answer is NO WAY!!!!
I think you would be making a HUGE mistake. Academics are only one part of kindergarten (don't get me wrong, a very important part), however your child will gain social and emotional skills that will help her for the rest of her years in school. Remember childhood is not a race, it's a journey! Let your child be a kid. Just my opinion.

 

[LoriMomx5]

Of my five children ,Four have started school. My twins 10 are in fourth and not identified as "gifted" ,however are A and A-B students and one is pulled out for Flexible learning groups with the GT teacher. My 9 year old is in third grade and is in the gifted and talented program since seocnd grade. We were told by his kindergarten teacher that he "had finished" kindergarten when we went for his first parent/teacher conference in October that year. We were told that they had a policy in our public school district concerning not "skipping grades". They did pull him out for "extra" reading with the reading specialist and extra learning activities. We now have another kindergarten son who reads chapter books at 3+ grade level and is being pulled out with 6 other kindergarten students by the GT teacher for special learning as GT is not offerred officially in kindergarten. He has also been placed in first grade for reading only. The school system has tried to offer as much as possible for my kids and I think it has been best for them not to skip a grade especially from a social aspect as mine did not go to pre K. They have a stay at home Dad who reads to them alot and makes everyday life a learning esperience. We may eventually home school as long as my husband stays home. Best of luck with your decision. These are difficulty decisions when your child's future is concerned. Lori.

 

[cancer_survivor_06]

I recently have had to deal with this issue to some degree. My DD6 started school when she was 2 not daycare. She started at a Montessori School where she learned everything colors, numbers, reading, math, writing and sign language and more. The year that she would have been in the preschool program the school closed so we had to move her. I opted to move her to the shool at our church since they purchased all of the material from her last school. During the fall we had to deal with hurricane Katrina and so the school didn't open until Jan., but since I was away for treatments I elected to put my girls in daycare since my parents were keeping my girls half of the month. When the school opened DD6 went to the school and her teacher from her last school was there. During this time she began to read even more she was writing sentences and doing math in double digit addition and subtraction. This past year she started Kindergarten but since I wasn't home for the regular registration time period I didn't get her into the school I had planned. I chose to send her back to school at the church since they added a kindergarten program. I have since been disappointed they have been teaching her handwriting and how to count because of this I got worried that she would lose the things that she learned so I purchased the workbooks from the walmart had she works in them everyday. Even though we do this I still worried so I recently had her tested at Sylvan Learning Center. She tested really well her communication skills tested at the level of a 7 yr old and a 7 yr 9mth old. Obviously my DD has always like yours been very smart for her age. As for math she tested on the level of a first grader and her reading skills she tested at the level she should be at.

I would consider asking her teachers to challenge her a little more. I definitely would skip 1st grade because even if she is ahead right now she might not be when she moves into first grade. Best of Luck with your decision.

 

[Barbers2005]

When I was a kid, I had the option of skipping grades twice- kindergarten and 5th grade. Both times my mom opted not to skip, and I was disappointed, but in retrospect I'm glad. In fact, dd4 starts school this fall and there's a good chance we'll be given the option to skip K, but dh and I have decided to let her start school with kids the same age as her and challenge her more at home when she's with us. Besides the social skills learned in kindergarten you have to remember that a child who skips grades will always be younger than his or her peers. It may not seem like a big difference, but since she'll always be with kids older than her there will be a subtle but constant pressure to grow up and be older than she is (maybe older than she is emotionally prepared for). In middle school, she'll be one of the last to develop and reach puberty, which could wreak havoc on her self esteem. I know that it's a long way away, but consider that she will only be 17 when she heads to college. That is really tough. Not only are you not considered an adult, but students that young are left out of much of the campus social scene (can't go to clubs, can't drive at night, can't pledge at some greek houses, ). The biggest factor, though, is that by moving ahead a year in school, she will be finished with college and be an "adult" (ie expected to support herself) younger than she would have otherwise. It's like taking away a year of her childhood.

 

[SmallWorld71]

As a first grade teacher I must give you an emphatic no! I have occasionally gotten children who were home-schooled in kindergarten or didn't go for some other reason and things are sooooo hard for them, no matter how smart they are. The things they learn in kindergarden are so much more important than just academic knowledge.
That said, I have a second grader who has always been very ahead for his grade so I understand your concern. Instead of not sending her to school, talk to the teacher about your concerns. A good teacher is able to challenge all kids. My son's kindergarten teacher was great about this and I talk to each year's teacher about this both before school starts and during the year. (Nicely, of course ) Currently, his second grade teacher has him working on 3rd and 4th grade spelling and math (his favorite subjects) and he is helping to write a classroom newsletter along with other challenging projects. This allows him to be around his peers but still be academically challenged. If your school system/ kindergarten teacher does not see this as an important issue, then I think you have a concern.
If you do decide not to send her, don't skip kindergarten. Look for some good home schooling programs. I also have a pre-schooler and I think the gap between pre-school and first grade is much bigger than most people realize.
Good luck with your decision.

 

[shelly3girls]

You have received many reasons not to skip so I won't repeat them but you can challenge your DD in many other ways. Here are just a couple I can think of...

learning an instrument (piano, violin, etc.)
projects at home (my kids love science stuff)
travel
art classes
sports that may challenge her physically

All these things will stimulate her in other ways. I always think of skipping this way...would I want my 13 year old DD interested in 18 yo boys when she hits hs???

 

[LandChildWorldAdult]

Well. I actually agree that *K* shouldn't be skipped if it can be avoided. I'd rather see an early entry to K or a skip of 2nd (usually a consolidation year) but if skipping K is suggested, it is worth a shot - say a trial of 6 weeks (or a bit more). If it doesn't work out, back to K.

But my biggest beef with this thread is all the suggestions to enrich outside of school, like that was "nothing". In my area, lessons of any kind cost $10 or MORE for each 45 minute session. That is a ton! If I can get my kids to where they don't need *MORE* lessons than other kids to stay engaged, by shaving the cut off date by a few days or months, I don't think that is a big deal at all. SOME very bright/gifted/whatever kids do just fine in age-grade based placements, others DO NOT.

My oldest missed the cut off by 15 days, I put him in an alternative placement and he's now a "young" 2nd grader. I cannot *imagine* how they would be challenging him academically in 1st grade -- he's simply too far ahead. They are doing a passable job in 2nd. But he'll also likely be off to college early to boot -- virtually everyone on both sides of his family has started at 16 or earlier (one at 11!!! PhD at 18, from Harvard). So I am not the least concerned with how he'll deal with driving "late". If middle school/junior high stink, I'll pull him to homeschool for a few years.

Anyway, different strokes for different folks. And *parents* should decide, since they are the ones who have to deal with the consequences, good and bad.

I'm guessing I'll do the same with my 14 month old, who has a nice vocabulary now and complies with requests to "go get your shoes" and has a 15 minute attention span.

Good luck in making the right decision for YOUR child and YOUR family.

 

[Barbers2005]

Challenging your child more doesn't necessarily require a lot of money, just some parental involvement. As a kid, my parents encouraged curiousity and discovering stuff for yourself (the library is your friend). My mom went to a local school supply store and picked up a bunch of workbooks and flash cards to build vocabulary and math skills. I do the same sort of stuff with dd4. We visit the library weekly and practice reading together. I help her with writing letters and word recognition a few days a week. She has a couple of sets of flash cards for learning basic words and beginning addition- sometimes we play with these together and other times she practices on her own. Learning is a game for her. When she asks me questions like "where does static electricity come from?" or "what happens to the sun at night?" dh and I explain it to her in a way she can understand and encourage her to be curious about how things work (if we don't know the answers we look them up together at the library or online). I'm not saying that any one way of doing things will work for everyone, but for people who want to challenge their kids beyond the educational system, there are opportunities that don't cost a bundle.

 

[cedmonds]

As a teacher of first grade I would say skipping a grade is never a good idea. She is only 4.5. Developmentally she would be better off staying with her peers. most school districts will not just let you skip kdg, and move to first grade. I know in some staes kdg is optional but that does not mean you can just move on to first. first grade is hard both academically and socially. I see huge differences betwen my january birthday kids and my August through December kids.
I think it is wonderful you are working with your child and encouraging reading. There is so much more then just reading words, comprehnsion, fluency etc are also very important. You can continue to enrich your child , going to museums, library etc... but please think long and hard before pushing your child ahead/

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Challenging your child more doesn't necessarily require a lot of money, just some parental involvement. As a kid, my parents encouraged curiousity and discovering stuff for yourself (the library is your friend). My mom went to a local school supply store and picked up a bunch of workbooks and flash cards to build vocabulary and math skills. I do the same sort of stuff with dd4. We visit the library weekly and practice reading together. I help her with writing letters and word recognition a few days a week. She has a couple of sets of flash cards for learning basic words and beginning addition- sometimes we play with these together and other times she practices on her own. Learning is a game for her. When she asks me questions like "where does static electricity come from?" or "what happens to the sun at night?" dh and I explain it to her in a way she can understand and encourage her to be curious about how things work (if we don't know the answers we look them up together at the library or online). I'm not saying that any one way of doing things will work for everyone, but for people who want to challenge their kids beyond the educational system, there are opportunities that don't cost a bundle.

Acutally, we do all of these things as well!