OT School Punishment Issue - WWYD?

[ALittleDisneyFan]

I don't necessarily think hitting and/or pushing will resolve issues. Keep in mind, I was picked on when I was younger- I learned that having a sense of humor about the situation helps, and even stops it. In the OP's sons situation it would have been "oh really? you think I suck? Is that all you can come up with?" then turning it around on the bully- and making the bully look dumb. Bullies want to scare and/or make you feel weak inside- the trick of it is not to be afraid, and most likely they will move on.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I don't necessarily think hitting and/or pushing will resolve issues. Keep in mind, I was picked on when I was younger- I learned that having a sense of humor about the situation helps, and even stops it. In the OP's sons situation it would have been "oh really? you think I suck? Is that all you can come up with?" then turning it around on the bully- and making the bully look dumb. Bullies want to scare and/or make you feel weak inside- the trick of it is not to be afraid, and most likely they will move on.

While that may work some of the time I can assure you that it will not work most of the time. I speak from experience. I don't advocate hitting etc. but if my kid is getting picked on then the bully better be able to stand on his/her own because I do tell my kids that if they have done all they can to stop someone - including telling a teacher or adult- then they have my permission to fight back. My dh put up with some kid bullying him when he was younger until he couldn't take it anymore and he knocked the tar out of the kid. Needless to say he was never bullied again. Some may feel it's wrong and that's okay- but in my experience the parents of the bully usually have a "not my child" attitude. If my kid was bulllying there would be consequences at home. We teach them to treat everyone the way that they want to be treated. We also teach them to stick up for themselves and others. No child should have to endure bullying. It is wrong and so often the school turns a blind eye because they think "kids will be kids". I don't agree. JMHO.

 

[martyshoney]

I realize that I am going to have an unpopular opinion. I truly don't want to offend anyone. It's just my opinion. (worth just what you paid for it) So, I'll lay it out there and then duck for cover.

I think your son did the right thing. Once the confrontation turned physical, I think he had the right to do whatever HE deemed neccessary at that moment to protect himself. I don't think your son should have been punished at all. This was not a "who threw the first punch" question. Your son did nothing that was aggressive. He merely did what he needed to do to protect himself from bodily injury.

I totally agree with you 100%! We always tell our kids, do NOT hit or get physical with another child but if they start don't just stand there and take it and let them hurt you even more, do the minimal to get out of the situation. B/c just as in the OP story, the kids who start it don't get it any trouble which is just awful. To me that is saying that name calling and teasing are okay, that is just as hurtful as anything physical.

 

[mytwotinks]

Don't the same laws apply at school that apply to the rest of the world? If I am walking in a parking lot and somebody holds me down and puts their hand over my mouth, heck yeah, I am going to bit them as hard as I can. You are allowed to defend yourself, right? I think that if my kid did that and got punished I would have been pretty upset. Especially if the principal agreed that there was nothing else that could be done. That principal was punishing the child for not letting himself get beat up or at the very least humiliated. That is so wrong.

My dd had a kid bullying her last year in the 2nd grade. It was constant. She was being pulled off of her lunch seat, pulled out of line to get a drink, having her foot stomped on, the kid even stole a pencil from her and then licked it in front of the teacher so she wouldn't have to return it. I get told the whole time that the bully has "emotional" problems and can't help it. So what am I supposed to do? Eventually my kid is going to end up with emotional problems too if this bully doesn't leave her alone. I would never have told her to be physical, but I would also have smiled a little inside if I had to go up to school because it happened. A kid can only take so much and then they blow!

 

[seashoreCM]

The principal (not necessarily any principal referred to in this thread) who simply tells a kid to "deal with it" and then turns his back deserves a lot of blame for any problems that follow.

Meanwhile, unfortunately, failure to serve the detention will likely lead to more bullying since then your kid will be looked upon as getting more favorable treatment.

As far as being sent to alternative school goes, too bad the real bully wasn't found out sooner.

Disney hints:
http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

 

[ilovejack02]

I know I am not going to have the popular opinion here so I am zipping up my flame suit! Personally- I would not have been mad that if it was my ds that shoved the bully. I also would have immediately informed the principal that my ds would not be attending detention unless the name caller was punished as well. Maybe he wasn't right to shove- but I will not tolerate my kids being tormented at school or anywhere. I personally was a kid who was on the receiving end of those chanter type kids. I never stuck up for myself (I "ignored" them) and it never stopped. Truthfully- if I had knocked the tar out of one of them I can guarantee they would have stopped. I would be on the phone to the principal ASAP. It is not too late for the other kid to be punished and for his parents to be notified. Oh- and as for the poster who mentioned that their kid bit another child who was covering their mouth and dragging them to the gorund- I don't think the kid was wrong. Of course it's not okay to walk up to someone and bite them but in that particular situation that child had no other choice. Imagine the panic you would feel if three people were pulling you to the ground and cover ing your mouth. I also would not have let my kid be punished for that even if I had to report the incident to the police as they were physically hurting your child and nobody stopped it. That is the school's responsibility. They are supposed to keep your child safe while they are there. I understand understaffing- believe me I do- I just think that the school needs to figure out what to do then because I will not allow my child to suffer because of it. Okay- flame away...

No flaming here!!! Im on board with you LOL!

 

[perdidochas]

BTDT..I would call the school and make a fuss about your DS being bullied. It is not fair that just your DS got into trouble.

I HATE bullies...

We moved to FL last year and my DS was expelled after 1 1/2 days of school. He got bullied and then stood up for himself and he is the one that got expelled and sent to an alternative school. I later found out that the bully has got a few other kids expelled and nothing ever happened to him.

Expelled? Not just suspended? Did you fight the expulsion? You do have a legal right to fight an expulsion.