OT: Q. regarding school

[rt2dz]

I've just posted this on the community board also, but since so many visit one board and not another, I just thought I'd get some imput here also.

Without going into all the reasons why I could be typing for a week if I gave EVERY example), I am about to "request" a teacher change for my DS (Kindergarten). I know this isn't going to go over very well; or at least I don't think it will.

I want to go in with all my ducks in a row. How would you go about it?

Some pertinent information: Basically, I think it is a personality conflict between her and DS AND between her and myself. I don't think her teaching style is very good for DS either. He hates her, he's learning to hate school and I think one of the other teachers would give him a totally different experience. I've been trying to point out positive things, but I really can't find any. And I don't discuss how I feel to him or around him, so he isn't picking up on my feelings. I know we all have to learn to deal with what we're given, but this is such a crucial year. Nor am I the only parent who feels this way.

 

[8 Ears]

I say "do it"! One year I considered requesting after school started and didn't. Boy do I wish I had!! This coming from an Ed. Tech who works in another district and not a teacher but if you feel that strongly about it than you need to. Some may disagree but with having been in your shoes, I say yes. Best of luck all around

 

[ryka]

I am going to request that my daughter's teacher is changed too. I found out she is pregnant and will be leaving in a couple of months. Last year 2 teachers left to have babies and the kids in their classes went from one sub to the next. I know my daughter will benefit more if she has just one teacher and not getting a new teacher every week like they have done in the past.You should do what is best for you and your son.

 

[rt2dz]

I am going to request that my daughter's teacher is changed too. I found out she is pregnant and will be leaving in a couple of months. Last year 2 teachers left to have babies and the kids in their classes went from one sub to the next. I know my daughter will benefit more if she has just one teacher and not getting a new teacher every week like they have done in the past.You should do what is best for you and your son.

You know, that's funny. That was one of the reasons why I originally felt an Ut Oh pang. She's due to have baby #3 in December. Baby #2 is 18 months & baby #1 is 3. She says she's coming back and will only be out of class 4 weeks since she is due right after Winter Break starts. She has free child care (her mother), so that isn't an issue.

But the funny thing is (and I don't want this to be a SAHM v. Working Mom thing--I have nothing against working moms), I don't know if I want someone who would give up the majority of her child's day to go to work being with my child. It isn't the working thing, it's the fact she'd rather be with someone else's child than her own for such little money when they are that little. If it is not in her own children's best interest (at that age) to be with her (and it isn't a lot of money) than why is it in my child's best interest to be with her? OK, maybe it's the insuriance... I don't know.

That isn't why the change, but it is something that bothers me.

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

I would request a change. Sometimes children and teachers do have personality conflicts. My oldest son could not stand his Kindergarten teacher in General Education and both him and I got the feeling that she felt the same way. After 2 months he was tested into the Gifted and Talented Program and every teacher that he has had since her has absoutely adored him. Actually, I recieved a call from his last year's 1st grade teacher yesterday because she was seeing how he was doing in 2nd grade and because she missed him! Anyways, my oldest daughter startede Kindergarten this year and she was given the same teacher as my son had originally in Kindergarten. I was very upset but let it go and y'know what- they get along like peas and carrots! Her and this teacher really like each other- very odd but their personalities are probably more compatible. So, even though you are changing your son's teacher please don't blacklist her for any of your other children. Lord knows they might just like her!

 

[Pamle]

I hope your school system is better than our school system with this. Ours will not change for anything. They figure that everyone is going to meet people that they don't get along with, and they have to learn to deal. Now, I agree with that to a point. If your Kindergartener is hating school, then it's in his best interest....but it depends on your school.

As far as changing because a teacher is pregnant........I have serious doubts that would happen. Every parent of a young child feels it's better to have continuity with the same teacher; however, they can't do that......so they won't move one child because of that.

 

[rt2dz]

We're not changing because she's pregnant. It was a concern I have, and to a certain extent it has evolved due to her personality. And I'm not the only parent that isn't exactly liking her; I'm just the one that is willing to become "that" parent.

One thing that happened on Friday has to do with disipline. Is that spelled right? Oh well, anyhow...The kids get a gold star if they are good all day. Silver stars if they've had a few issues (several warnings to stop talking and such). Blue stars if the issues are repeative and they've already been moved down. And Red stars if a conference is needed. Well, DS came home all excited to get a gold star. Only two kids got a gold star that day. Well, if 15 kids got yellow stars (or below), it seems to me that maybe the teacher is having a bad day & taking it out on the kids.

There is also a mother of multiples and she has several of the K teachers. This is the only one she doesn't like. And the child that has her, is the only one hating school. And suddenly having stomach aches when its time to go to school. And, yes, she took her child to the Dr. to confirm it is nerves/school issues.

Every other K teacher has sent home what they are doing during the week, A list of sight words, Suggested reading lists, and what needs to be done at home (quasi homework). This teacher gives NO communication. When asked about it at open house, we were told not to worry about it. Excuse me? I don't think so.

Plus, she doesn't give them recess because there just isn't time. The other schools are require mandatory recess for proper socialization 2-3 times a week and all the other K teachers at our school give them recess. These kids are being isolated b/c they can't make friends.

And there is so much more. If I want a teacher change, you better believe I will get it. I just need to figure out what I need to go into a meeting with the principal armed with. Either they will move him, or I'll figure out some way to go over the school's head and get him into another school in our district.

 

[Pamle]

Hey, I agree with you. I'm just relating my experience. I did get my dd moved in 2nd grade, but it nearly took an act of God. Her teacher shook her for not speaking loud enough. I was irate. My daughter didn't tell me until a month or so after it happened. The teacher was out on medical leave. When she came back, the principal moved her. The principal caught hell for moving her, I was told, but she was wonderful to me. The teacher taught for 2 more years....but my children were not to have her for anything.

In fact, last year, my 2nd daughter would have had her just for social studies......all the classes switched and spent a 1/3 of the year with each teacher. I was getting ready to go up to the new principal who didn't know anything about my situation, when the teacher must of made the request. I was informed that my daughter would not be going to her and would get the instruction from her regular teacher. The odd part was 2 days after my daughters class started going to her for social studies, the teacher walked out of the school in the middle of the day, and has never come back. Nobody knows what happened. Many, many complaints had been made about this teacher over the years, and I tend to think the new principal had something to do with getting rid of her.

 

[disneyjunkie]

And there is so much more. If I want a teacher change, you better believe I will get it. I just need to figure out what I need to go into a meeting with the principal armed with. Either they will move him, or I'll figure out some way to go over the school's head and get him into another school in our district.

JoyG posted a great response to your thread on the community board.

I think all parents need to realize that just as they talk to other parents about teachers, teachers talk to each other about parents.

No teacher wants "that" parent in thier class. When teachers get "that" parent, they tend to do everything by the book. They are more cautious than normal because they don't want any run- ins with the parent.

As far as your issue with mothers teaching.

 

[rt2dz]

As far as your issue with mothers teaching.

No, no, no. That is not what I meant. I have nothing against working moms, was one until DS was 15 months old. And certainly not if they work as teachers. As a matter of fact, I think teachers are generally better teachers if they are parents. Not that you can't have good, fantastic even, childless teachers.

What I meant was THIS particular teacher would rather be with other children than her own 3 at newborn, 18 months & 3 years old--critical years. That even she feels her children are better off with her mother than with her. It's much more the vibe she gives. I don't really think it's a "we need the money" issue. Or "I just love my job so much" thing. I don't think she really does like the job. Or rather, little kids.

And this is soooo anti towards how I would thought I'd react. It's just really that bad. For example, every other class has recess. Hers doesn't because it is only a half day program and that just doesn't leave enough time for them to get everything in. So these kids are cut off from each other--no socialization and they are feeling isolated. At open house, more than one parent tried to bring this up to her and she just basically said "too bad, I'm sorry you & your child feel that way". How can all the other classes fit in recess? And how can she leave school early to go to a OB appointment? And really, there is one mom of multiples who says the child that has this teacher is falling behind her other children. She's using the information & stuff that comes home with her others so that this one doesn't fall behind. What about the rest of us that don't have a clue on what is going on with other classes?