OT: pre-school or Kindergarten? Can't decide.

[princessmom29]

Also realize that as being one of the oldest they will also be the first to drive, the first to turn 18 and think they are an adult and the first to turn 21 amongst their peers.

There are pros and cons to bein the oldest and the youngest.

And if they do play sports many times (not in all leagues) they can not play with their classmates. I know our Little League is very strict on age and many of the older kids in my DS12's grade can not play with their classmates.

My sister was the first to turn 21 in her group of friends, and was the first to be pressured into buying beer for the rest of them! Sometimes being the oldest is NOT a good thing, but a liability.

 

[ShannonMB]

My sister was the first to turn 21 in her group of friends, and was the first to be pressured into buying beer for the rest of them! Sometimes being the oldest is NOT a good thing, but a liability.

Very true! Our local news covered a story last week about a big house party in our suburban community where the police were called and broke it up. All the kids under 18 had their parents called to come and get them -- the over 18 year olds went to jail!

 

[sdrsdd]

I am a kindergarten teacher (10 years)---I have a son whose b-day is 7-13 (our cutoff in Missouri to start k is 7-31---so he would have been the YOUNGEST)---I waited ---he is extremely smart, but I do not regret my decision. In my class this year---my 2 most immature boys(those I have the most trouble with behavior issues are JULY b-days and thier parents didn't give them another year to mature---they are both fine academically just really immature compared to the rest of their peers...) ---think way down the road too---not just about the kindergarten year---anyway good luck---this is a hard decision to make---I know!

 

[tam626]

I just have to say two things that annoy me that I have seen on this thread. I find it rude the people who say "I am in no rush for our child to grow up" and the others who say "I am giving my child the gift of time."

I don't think anyone is rushing their kids growing up. I bet if you took a poll nobody wants their kids to rush through childhood. Just because you send your kids on time to school because that is truly what is best for them and you don't keep them home because you don't want them to grow up (not saying all people do this) doesn't make you a parent who is kicking them out the door. It is insulting to insinuate that.
The whole gift of time thing imo is of the same vein. Unless the kid truly isn't ready what exactly is the gift? Just because as a parent you (a general you) don't want to send your kid to school because you will miss them (and we all miss them) doesn't make it some special gift. I think keeping your child back just because you will miss them is selfish. Again- not saying all parents do this but there are some out there.

Sorry to go OT but I just really find those two things to be so condescending.

Oh wow, some people take things so personally. I said this for myself. I did not say " why are you in such a rush for your child to grow up?" People can be so touchy. I have a 23 year old & an 18 year old, that's why I said it. Get over yourself. I am so sick of people wanting to pick at everything that's said on this board. Most of us just want advice & then listen to others opinions, not pick apart everything that's said.

 

[tam626]

I had a child that still napped when she went to K it took her, and the others in her class who were used to a nap about 2 weeks to adjust. If that is your only reason for holding him back, I wouldn't do it simply based on that.


I am gald someone else feels the way I do. I am not in a hurry for my child to grow up, but I want her to get every learing experience she can, and while I would love for her to stay little forever holding her back form progressing with her age peers in not in her best interests. I do not appreciate the implication that this makes me somehow a less caring parent. I am with you in that I think the whole "gift of time" bit is often a justification for the parent keeping thier baby another year because that is what they want, not because it is what the child needs. You are right, some people honestly buy into it, but for a air number it is a justification for selfishness.

As I said in my original post, his preschool teachers think it's best to hold him back. He is too young in their opinion & mine. No I am not holding him back because of his naps or because I want to be with him. His teachers & my dh & I are making the best desicion for our child. I was giving my opinion & think it's ridiculous how easily people can get offended.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Oh wow, some people take things so personally. I said this for myself. I did not say " why are you in such a rush for your child to grow up?" People can be so touchy. I have a 23 year old & an 18 year old, that's why I said it. Get over yourself. I am so sick of people wanting to pick at everything that's said on this board. Most of us just want advice & then listen to others opinions, not pick apart everything that's said.

This is just totally rude and uncalled for. I did not quote you or make a post about you specifically. It was a general comment about something that I hear all the time. I don't need to get over myself and I am not picking anything apart. It is simply my opinion and clearly I am not alone in my thoughts on it.
I wish you the best.

 

[Suellen]

I find the alternating cutoff dates from state to state interesting.

Ours is October 15th. So in Maine they feel kids that are still 4 and will be for approx. 7 weeks of school are ready ~ while another state feels thats a Child that has been 5 for four weeks before school starts justifies holding them back another year.

Has anyone else run into the Success Orientated Schooling option?

 

[tam626]

My ds will be 5 August 13th & I am sending him to preschool another year. He is ready for kindergarden but it is all day here & he still naps. There is no way he will be ready to be in school all day. His teachers agree that it's best to wait another year. I'm not in any rush for him to grow up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tam626
Oh wow, some people take things so personally. I said this for myself. I did not say " why are you in such a rush for your child to grow up?" People can be so touchy. I have a 23 year old & an 18 year old, that's why I said it. Get over yourself. I am so sick of people wanting to pick at everything that's said on this board. Most of us just want advice & then listen to others opinions, not pick apart everything that's said.

This is just totally rude and uncalled for. I did not quote you or make a post about you specifically. It was a general comment about something that I hear all the time. I don't need to get over myself and I am not picking anything apart. It is simply my opinion and clearly I am not alone in my thoughts on it.
I wish you the best.

Pretty sure I am the only one that said this & if you found it offensive, then I apologize.

 

[tam626]

I wanted to add this:

We went to register DD today and there was two options:

All Day Kindy or SOS I & II

The SOS is basically a two year Kindy. I don't think my DD needs so I didn't read a lot about it BUT I wonder if you can sign this up and then skip the second year if it seems like they really don't need it.

Also not sure if they offer this kind of program everywhere.

I think it would be nice if every state had this option. I don't think we have that in Pa. but it's something to check into. Thanks.

 

[vettechick99]

As a 1st grade teacher, IMO it's not the readiness for school academics, but the social maturity of a child that will dictate how well they do. I know so many smart children, but because they are so immature, they struggle.

This next baby for us will have a mid-August birthday. We have already decided to keep him/her out another year.

 

[JamesMom]

Again OT.

I am curious about the other end of the spectrum. I see some people here who are planning on having 7 year olds in kindergarden which means that they will be legal adults while Juniors in High School (not to mention driving as freshman!!!). Additionally, I don't think I like the idea of a 16 year old in the same class as an 18 yr or a 19 yr senior boy taking a 16 yr junior to the prom. The reason the ages are put in place in Kindy is so they can graduate before or around the age of majority. Just a thought.

I personally think we ask too much of our Kindy as it is - 7 hours of classwork a day with 15 min daily recess [in my north Texas district]. Lots of worksheets and expectations. Kindy is now first grade and PK4 is now the new Kindy. If we actually treated our children like the children they are we might not have to worry about sending them 'too early' or whatever. Kindy used to be 3 hours a day of play based learning and social skills - what was wrong with that? What more are we teaching them in the later grades that us older generation didn't get to? I managed to earn 2 masters degrees without the benefit of preschool,, full day kindy or being able to read until 2nd grade. What's the rush? *off soapbox*

 

[nmmom95]

I am a kindergarten teacher (10 years)---I have a son whose b-day is 7-13 (our cutoff in Missouri to start k is 7-31---so he would have been the YOUNGEST)---I waited ---he is extremely smart, but I do not regret my decision. In my class this year---my 2 most immature boys(those I have the most trouble with behavior issues are JULY b-days and thier parents didn't give them another year to mature---they are both fine academically just really immature compared to the rest of their peers...) ---think way down the road too---not just about the kindergarten year---anyway good luck---this is a hard decision to make---I know!

I think that that is an unfair generalization. My first grader has a July birthday, he is one of the youngest in his class, and he has never had behavior issues. He was more mature than his brother, who started kindergarten at 5 1/2. As several posters have stated, I think that it has more to do with the parents' expectations and the child's general personality.

 

[sdrsdd]

Sorry! I was just stating how it is in my class this year---just my professional opinion. As I stated, it is a hard decision to make and I am not judging anyone!

 

[sdrsdd]

Kindergarten expectations most likely vary from state to state...I know things have changed tons since I first started teaching 10 years ago. My students are expected to read and write and do so much more! It's hard for me to believe some states start kindergarten at 4 years old!!!

 

[nmmom95]

Sorry! I was just stating how it is in my class this year---just my professional opinion. As I stated, it is a hard decision to make and I am not judging anyone!

No apology necessary I can see your point as a teacher. To be fair, my son was born an old man. LOL Even his teachers say it. I didn't mean to judge, either. I really do believe that each child is different. I have two boys who are night and day. My older son never wanted to sit and practice writing, my little one loves to. I would say they are equally intelligent, so I don't think that is a factor.

 

[Suellen]

What more are we teaching them in the later grades that us older generation didn't get to? I managed to earn 2 masters degrees without the benefit of preschool,, full day kindy or being able to read until 2nd grade. What's the rush? *off soapbox*

From what I can tell it takes like and additional 6 years to learn the "new" math.

Not sure what was wrong with the old math.... but I figure I got about two years to learn the new math so I can help my child with homework.

 

[Leajess99]

As a 1st grade teacher, IMO it's not the readiness for school academics, but the social maturity of a child that will dictate how well they do. I know so many smart children, but because they are so immature, they struggle.

This next baby for us will have a mid-August birthday. We have already decided to keep him/her out another year.

What is to say that by holding a child back a year they will mature anymore?? I know a child with a December birthday that is quite immature so was his mom to hold him out another year and send him when he was almost 7 to see if he matured?? Kids mature at different rates and you never know how they will socially mature.

 

[Mkrop]

This cracks me up. Two of the kids who are in constant trouble in my son's 6th grade class were held back and are a year older. Then another boy who was held back has no beahvioral issues whatsoever. So how do you explain that? The kids were held back so you think they would be more on target with their peers but instead they are the immature goofs who get in trouble all the time. So the theory of being more mature by waiting a year does not seem to be something you can universally apply.

I dont think you can really tell. All kids are different. Some are ready to go no matter what age and some are not.

I do think the concerns of having such wide age ranges in classrooms as the kids get older is a valid concern.

 

[MACfamily4]

I just read a book entitled Boys Adrift. Dr. Sax is the name of the author. He devotes an entire chapter to the issue of boys, school, and the age at which we expect them to sit quietly and "learn" in this country. It's a very interesting read all-around, but you might check it out in light of your question. Good luck!

 

[MindyLuvsMickey]

My son started kindergarten this year with a birth date of Aug. 26th. There is one other student (a girl) in his class that is younger.

I debated whether or not to send him this year. Academically, he is just fine but he's terribly shy. The first couple weeks were rocky. He cried daily before getting on the bus and he was having some behavior changes at home, too.

Within a few weeks, he was into the routine and adjusting just fine. Now, he enjoys school, has lots of friends and is doing exceptionally well with the academic aspect of school. He's one of the top in his class, despite being one of the youngest.

Only you know how your little guy will do. For us, we knew that once in the situation, he would do well. Best of luck to you!