OT: Potty training girls

[Pembo]

How do you NOT get frustrated with them? I just want to SCREAM at her, just use the *&^%$# potty?! I know that won't help, but I'd feel better.

My dd is 3 next week. For a year we've had the potty and the panties. Every day I ask, would you like to use the potty and wear panties today and she always says no. I think she'd wear diapers forever.

Today we are just not wearing diapers. I hope she gets it.........

Let's keep this thread going, all of us pt parents need support...........

btw, I have 2 ds's, 9 & 6 1/2, I had to force both of them at age 3 as well. I think my kids would wear diapers forever. I sure was hoping that the old adage, "girls are easier" would be true but so far she is by far the most difficult.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Ok--I lost my internet yesterday--so I was purposefully ducking out of this thread.

Thanks for all the tips.

We went to Wal-mart and got a new potty "toilet"--we had a seat for the regular toilet---but I think having her own just seemed right. She wanted Pooh at $20--but I went cheap at $10 and got her a 10-pack of underwear.

The BRIBE:
1 M&M for every trip to the toilet......1 M&M pack (the halloween size) for going potty + she gets to pick a sticker that came with the toilet and decorate.

The REWARD: No more diapers and successful potties---we go to the dance store and get her dance shoes and a dance bag (right now she just wants a Dora backpack-so whatever she wants!).

The TACTICS: Still working on it......but when it's time to try-she gets an M&M...she wants a pack and I remind her that is for "going".

The READINESS FACTOR: She has pottied on the potty before...she has changed her own diaper before ("mommy--please 'buckle' my diaper"). She's woken up dry several times...and the girl can HOOOOOOLLLLD it like you wouldn't believe. (Except when it's time to go and a toilet is nowhere to be found)

She had one tiny tinkle yesterday--I didn't want to reward...but hey--technically the kid went! That was yesterday around 5pm. She didn't have a wet diaper overnight---so this a.m. I sat her on her potty and her sis' joined in on the big run. Remember that part about holding it---holy cow!!! But she went! Too bad she's only 2 and hasn't figured out the more often she actually goes (not just sit)--she'd have a lot of m&m packs by now.

A friend who works at the post office suggested when we were in yesterday to do cheese--so at least it isn't all about candy. So we might pickup some cheese blocks. The kid loves cheese almost as much as chocolate.


She will be permitted to do dance class in August b/c she wants to and has shown readiness (she learned my older daughter's recital routine--a little rough around the edges...but she knew it). Sending her in a diaper seems inappropriate to me. So I'm using the whole dance thing as her incentive to be a big girl.

I will take the posted advice of "not turning back"--we tried potty training a couple months ago--and she did go several times. But then "I" gave up.

Thanks for all the tips! I'm checking out Dr. Phil!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

How do you NOT get frustrated with them? I just want to SCREAM at her, just use the *&^%$# potty?! I know that won't help, but I'd feel better.

My dd is 3 next week. For a year we've had the potty and the panties. Every day I ask, would you like to use the potty and wear panties today and she always says no. I think she'd wear diapers forever.

Today we are just not wearing diapers. I hope she gets it.........

Let's keep this thread going, all of us pt parents need support...........

btw, I have 2 ds's, 9 & 6 1/2, I had to force both of them at age 3 as well. I think my kids would wear diapers forever. I sure was hoping that the old adage, "girls are easier" would be true but so far she is by far the most difficult.

I do think that somewhere between 2.5 and 3.5--the kid makes a decision to go or not go potty. I totally believe that it is her personal mission to be "baby" forever since the "perks" are really good!

 

[lillygator]

I am in potty training mode right now as well. DD will be three on Halloween and I have got to get her trained before our December cruise or she won't get to have fun in the kids club...

I had a seat at first - I was adament no cleaning a chair - but I went ahead and broke down and bought the FP musical thing...in hindsight a normal potty chair is the way to go. We have Cinderella, Princess, Nemo and friends panties....this weekend I plan on putting her in the panties only this weekend but we will be going out of town Saturday to a softball tournament for DH and then Sunday I am going to be working. So maybe I should start later....but she woke up this morning took off her pull up and went potty...we clap and have a potty party everytime...I did start with the candy reward but that lost its appeal very quickly - not sure why as she loves candy....

 

[Pembo]

My dd has definitely decided to NOT use the potty. It's now 2:45 and she's gone thru about 6 prs of undies/shorts. She thinks it is fun to take the wet things to the laundry in the basesment and then go upstairs, second floor, to get new clothes.

I put her on the potty every 30 mins but she seems to go just after we sat on the potty. AUGH!

Lisa I like the M&M thing. One for trying a whole pack for going. I need to go to Walmart tonight so I think I'll stock up on Candy.

Preschool is our motivation or should I say MY motivation. LOL

Tried Dr Phil's Potty party thing. Winnie the Pooh did a great job on the potty this morning and he had a very fun party.

 

[Gillian]

Great ideas! I am thinking about starting to train DD, who just turned 2. She can't change her own diaper yet, though.

One thing that has worked well for us with DS 5, is to always make him try before we leave the house or when he looked like he had to go. No pressure, no guilt, just try. Make it routine so they don't give you the "I don't have to go story." And never say I told you so when they do go.

DS often says he doesn't have to go, when he really does (waking up in the morning, for one thing). We just use the "please try" thing and it works. I say thank you for trying whether he goes or not.

Now he knows 2 bathroom rules - you always (try to) go when you wake up and before you leave the house (any house).

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Hey---we just ventured out of the house with only panties...brought the potty along. She "tried" the potty at our destination. And tried "once" in the car. We did have one accident this morning when still at home. The cable guy was here...my attention was diverted. But she came right to me.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Just bumping to say....IT'S WORKING!!!!

 

[blueeyez]

I went thru the same thing. I felt just like you. I just wanted to scream and cry. After my DD was pretty well potty trained with very few accidents for about 2 weeks, and then had an accident. She was so devestaded that she would literally not get off the potty! I'm serious. As soon as she would go and then start pulling up her underwear she'd say oh I have to go again. I never heard of this before. She was so afraid of having an accident. To get her to go #2, I let her read one of my disney catalogs while she sat on the toilet. This will sound so gross, but it worked. After she went she would flush and say bye bye to the poopy! DD10 was mortified to witness this. I always said I will never use bribery, blah, blah, blah. Let me tell ya, I had absolutely no problem buying that $15 Dora doll if that meant no more money on diapers!!! Now it's just getting her to not wet the bed. Any suggestions? Oh yea, Good luck with this. Don't worry, they won't have to take diapers to work in their briefcase!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Can't help you on wetting the bed--my oldest was in pullups for 6 months at night and stayed dry. She had her first accident a few weeks ago. But I am guessing she was in super deep sleep.

I even break the traditional rules and they get beverages before bed all the time--and the one I am currently training can often times wake up with a dry diaper.

Knock on wood--no accidents today and her potty seat has been traveling with us .

 

[CapeCodFam]

Just did this w/ds he turned 3 in june. Started a month before his third birthday and just like my other two boys was wearing underwear at his party.
He was peeing in the big potty but, pooping in the little potty. Until we were in WDW last week, didn't have a little potty just a big one and a handicapped one at that. (I beleive there a bit taller ) Had one accident he hated it. Next morning locked himeself in the batroom. Next thing I knew he came out whoopin and hollerin i did it , idid it! We got rid of the little potty for good. By the way what worked for him everytime he went we would cheer for him real loud and sing your a big boy now. kids are all different and they won't be going to college in diapers. (and probally not kindergarten either)

 

[Windy City Heather]

My DD will be 3 on Thursday. Last February we tried to potty train. After about 6 hours I knew she was not ready. I was fine with that and thought I would try again in a couple of months. The spring was really busy for us so I did not get to it (I work full time so I needed an open weekend). I planned an open weekend last week. The last week of June she started to show some interest. I would ask a lot if she had to go on the potty 1 in 20 times she would go. 2 weekends ago she was asking to go a lot more often. We were at a fest most of the weekend so it was a little harder. The first time she went on a big potty I gave her a Frosty (something she really wanted). She had the smallest drop but she felt it and she knew she went. It was a huge step. I feel that you should reward for even the smallest drip because they feel it. In the beginning they need to learn that feeling.

We trained full time last weekend. We put her in underwear or nothing. We would give her 2 stickers and 5 M&M's (she came up with the numbers) for going on the potty. Every once in a while she would get something nicer (chalk, small puzzle etc.) BM's got something even nicer (she has issues, I can't get enough fiber in this kid). We did not reward for just trying because we would have lived on the potty.

Saturday morning was hell, by noon I was pulling my hair out, by 3 she was telling us she "pee pee on potty" and would run to the potty to go. I went in there about 3:30 and there was pee in her little potty. I ask my DH if he forgot to clean it out and he did not. She went by herself. We made a really big deal about that. No more accidents that day or Sunday. One on Monday, a few with my father in law on Tuesday and none since. She makes it through naps and has even been dry on 2 mornings. One night she woke me up to go potty.

Every child is different but I really think it is so much easier to wait until they are ready. If they are ready potty training is easy. If they are not ready it is months of headaches and accidents. I know everyone wants to be done with diapers but are diapers really that bad (except for the expense). I think diapers are easier than cleaning accidents all the time.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Okay---today's update!!!!

I bought a mattress protector and put it on her mattress and told her if she tried to go potty when we got home that I'd "let" her wear big girl panties to bed. She tired--one drop came out....but the effort was their and she picked one of her new pairs of panties.

Put her to bed. She comes out after 30 minutes and tells me she has to go pee pee on the potty....so on the potty she goes....and she goes!!!! Yeah!!!!

So we are making excellent progress. The fact that diapers are NOT an option....is actually working.

[all is not perfect...she did have a BM in her panties earlier today--I guess she will take a little bit for that].

 

[LoveWDW]

I had boys, but maybe the same tips work.

I waited until they were dry all night, which happened around age 3. Then one weekend I devoted to potty training.

I put the child in training pants, and every half hour or so I took the child to the bathroom. No bribes, no scolds, just praise upon performance and staying dry.

Saturday we had about 6 wet pairs of training pants. Sunday we had 2 pairs. After that, only the occasional accident. The child was trained.

I've heard to not go back to diapers once training pants are started, because the child finds it easy to forget the training then. I also recommend not trying to train the child when a new baby is introduced into the household. I held off training my oldest until the baby was a few months old.

 

[Windy City Heather]

We have not had one BM accident in underwear. The first day she had nothing on and had a BM. We told her that she needed to do that on the potty too and she said o.k. We also told her that if she had a BM in the big girl underwear we had to throw them away. I don't know if this had anything to do with no accident but it might be worth a try. All of her underwear are princess, dora, elmo, wiggles and blue. I think she would not want to part with any of them.

 

[summersfam4]

We are big believers in panties! My first DD had to opposite issue than most kids, she had no problem doing a BM in the potty, but she just kept peeing right down her leg, I finally put her back in diapers for a little while letting her tell me when she needed to do a BM in the potty but she used the diaper for everything else. A couple of months later we were outside before lunch and I said " let's go in for lunch", where she told me "just a minute as soon as I finish doing Pee-pee" that's when I knew she had it! That afternoon we bought some new panties that had Winnie the Pooh on them and some plain white ones and she knew that if she pee-peed on Pooh that she would have to wear the plain white ones so there were really no "accidents" after that. DD2 decided that she didn't want diapers a week after her 2nd birthday so only panties for her. Within a couple of days there were no accidents, she was doing everything in the potty and even wearing panties to bed, she was proud to be a "big girl".
Edited to also say, I know the little potty on the floor works for some but my whole idea about learning to use the potty was to stop having to clean "it" up my girls never even knew that there was a potty that sat on the floor and little DD couldn't be happier to go to the bathroom grab her special seat from under the cabinet "the tiny one that fits on the potty so she won't fall in " and climb up, does her business, get down flushes and puts the seat away. She feels like a real big girl using the big potty like the rest of us! And yep, I pack a messenger bag to go to the store with potty seat topper, an extra change of clothes, and some Clorox clean-up wipes to wipe the seat off with after sitting it on a Public potty!

Good Luck!
Kelly

 

[Pembo]

I need some serious help here. My 3 yo has NEVER peed on the potty. We sit and sit and sit. I've tried M&M's, I've tried putting her on every 20 mins. No matter how long she sits there she just won't go. I've tried being stern, I've tried acting nonchalant, I've given her the choice, I've made the choice. NOTHING works! She'll sit with no luck and then before her 20 mins are up to go back on the potty she'll have wet pants. I've tried making her responsible for those wet clothes. Taking them to the laundry, getting dry etc. She likes it.Now she takes off her pants and changes them even if they are dry.

My 2 boys were alot easier than this. They would "go" when we put them on the potty. And everyone told me Girls are easier to train then boys. HA!

I don't know what to do. I'm SO frustrated!!! She stays dry for hours. She is usually dry in the morning. And no she won't even go first thing in the morning. I had her on the potty for a couple of hours one morning and she didn't go. I finally had to get her dressed and then she went, in her panties.

Any suggestions out there???????? Preschool starts in 6 weeks!!!

 

[sk!mom]

Two questions-

Does she want to wear panties?

Is there anything that she REALLY wants?

The answer to both of those was yes for my DD when she was not quite 2.5

She had a 5 year old cousin that she idolized and she really wanted panties and a Barbie like Emily's. She had been asking for both for about a month. I kept refusing the Barbie because I can't stand Barbie and the panties because she was so young I was reluctant to try. Finally I decided to try it and took her shopping for her favorite of each. The Barbie went on the mantel with the promise that she could have it on Saturday (this was Monday) if she used the potty all week. I then explained that you cannot go to the bathroom in the panties and if she did she would be back in diapers. She was trained in a week with only one accident. When she had the accident I put her back in a diaper for the rest of that day and then started fresh the next morning. She never had another accident. It was surprisingly easy. I had a son who was MUCH more difficult.

 

[Windy City Heather]

Pembo, I think the hardest thing was getting her to pee the first time. Are you using a little potty? Try putting it in front of the TV, load her with liquids and have her sit and watch tv or try reading books until you get that first pee. Then have a party. Act like it was the best thing she has ever done.

 

[robinb]

I need to potty train my soon-to-be 3yo and wanted to do it "boot camp" style--meaning...done in a weekend and finished (for the most part!).

I have nothing to offer you except for and .

Potty training my DD was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life. We tried everything ... bribes, easy to use potties, pull-ups, picking out her own undies, having a "naked weekend", a potty schedule, reading books, watching videos, stickers, candy, toys, stressing about it, not stressing about it, and so on. Nothing seemed to work. She finally potty trained herself (duh!) somewhere around 4 years old, but still has "accidents". At almost 6 she often chooses what she is doing NOW over using the potty when she needs it. I now know her "potty dance" and ask her if she needs to use the potty. I sometimes need to ask her a couple of times before she is able to transition from what she's doing to say "yes!".

Yes, she is very strong willed and she is completely in charge of her own body.

Good luck!!