OT: Nighttime Potty training

[jnsma]

Sorry for the off topic...

Any advice or suggestions for getting DD4 to use the potty at night? She hasn't had an accident during the day for 6months and uses underwear all day. But we are still using pullups for bed.

I honestly don't know if she just isn't ready or is lazy and doesn't want to get up or if she just doesn't care.
We get her to go before bed and try to get her to go first thing in the morning (there is lots of "but I don't have to). She does have a tendancy to just lay around in bed after being woken up in the morning.

She has made it a few times and we made a big deal about it. She was very proud but never 2 days in a row. We've told her if she makes it 3 nights in a row, she can go without a diaper.

Considering giving her a shot the night before the next sheet changing day.

I don't want to use threats and haven't really pushing the matter, but she just turned 4 and it seems like it is time.

Meanwhile, DS4 one day just decided he was ready and hasn't had a problem.

Any thoughts or suggestions?
Thanks!

 

[eclairemom]

I don't have any personal experience because DD had an iron clad bladder at 2 and never peed at night long before she was potty trained during the day. But, I have heard people swear that your need to get rid of the pull up and go cold turkey with plastic lined mattress covers and the knowledge that you may have to change sheets in the middle of the night. I would make sure fluids were cut was back in the evening if you haven't done so already.

 

[Disney1976]

Generally speaking, a couple things have to happen before a child can achieve nighttime dryness. First, their bladder has to be able to hold enough urine to get through an entire night's sleep. Second, their body has to develop a hormone that curbs nightttime urine output. Without this, a child's body will continue to produce urine as if they were awake. A child's bladder capacity is very small, figure about one oz. for every year old they are, plus one. Thus, a four year old's bladder can comfortably hold around 5 oz.! With regard to hormone production, all child develop differently, which is why it's possible to have one child who is dry at night immediately, and another who wakes up soaked every morning. Some children don't develop this hormone well into their teen years. As your daughter is already waking up dry on certain mornings, it seems her body MAY be starting to produce this hormone. You also have to factor in genetics -if one or both parents was a bedwetter (especially the father) your child is likely to be one too!

Most pediatricians will tell you that bedwetting isn't a "concern" until the child is around 7 years of age, and even then, only if it is bothering the child or preventing them from participating in activities. At that point, if the child is willing to participate, there are things you can try to do to prevent the bedwetting.

I can tell you with my former stepson, he was nearly seven and was wet just about every night. Not just a little either, it was a flood. His pediatrician suggested a few things to try before trying things like alarms/drugs:

1) During the day when the child has to go to the bathroom, encourage them to "hold it" for a couple minutes before they go. This stretches out the bladder and can increase muscle control.

2) DON'T limit fluids in the evenings, but do limit WHAT they drink. Caffeine drinks and milk seem to make many children wet more, but water is fine, even juice was fine. Limiting drinks can be dangerous to a child, especially in a warm climate or during summer months, but more importantly, she stressed, was that over time, drinking in the evenings will likely cause the child to have a full bladder while they sleep, and over time, the bladder will get used to holding all the additional fluid and/or your child will get the sensation of having to go and wake up. A child who isn't prevented from drinking liquids after a certain hour is also less likely to try and "sneak" drinks.

3) DON'T wake the child up in the middle of the night before you go to bed. Again, the goal is for the child's bladder to adjust to being able to hold a night of urine production and/or the child to become alert to the feeling of a full bladder and wake up. If you take the child to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you might save one pullup, or wet sheets, but you're actually slowing the body's natural development.

Take it for what it's worth. These were her suggestions, and I will say that I did start seeing results in my stepson's wetting with these methods over time.

One last thing - the use of a diaper or pullup at night isn't going to make your child keep wetting the bed longer, nor are they being lazy. Their bodies simply haven't caught up yet. You can't train a child to do something when they are asleep. Once a child's body is ready to the point where they can hold it all night (or wake up during the night to go on their own) then they will wake up dry, regardless of what they wear to bed. In the meantime, it's one diaper/pullup a night -it ensures everyone gets a good night' sleep (which is more important at this age anyway) and helps keep laundry to a minimum. I would consider waiting longer than 3 days before making the switch to underwear though. Give it at least a couple of weeks, if not even a month, of dry nights, before switching. Otherwise, the first time your child has an accident, they are likely to think they failed.

 

[EthansMom]

This is what worked for us...

We limited the amount of liquid our child had after dinner. If he/she insisted they were thirsty, we'd let them have a few sips of water after dinner, but otherwise, the drink at dinner was last liquid of the day.

We made sure that he/she used the restroom right before bed. DD would sometimes argue that she didn't need to pee, but I always insisted that she should "try" to push some pee out.

For DD the two above things worked well and she was potty-trained at night pretty quickly. DS, though, apparently loved the convenience of going in his pull-ups at night. As you may know, pull-ups are glorified (and expensive) diapers. They are designed to wick moisture away from the skin... so a child doesn't feel wet. I switched DS to old-style training underwear and plastic pants (purchased at Walmart) instead of pull-ups at night. Before bed, I would emphasize to DS that he needed to get up to use the restroom at night or he'd get wet and then I was gentle with him when I had to change him and the sheets ("It's okay, everyone has accidents."). He wet himself a few times at night before he figured out that it was easier to get up and use the restroom. He hasn't had an accident since.

 

[LuvBaloo]

My DD3 loved her pullups, she could wake up in the morning and just go pee. We ended up just taking her pullups away once I noticed she'd wake up dry most days, but by the time she was getting dressed she'd be wet. We remind her to go pee before going to bed. Sometimes she doesn't want to try and I've resorted to telling her she has to sleep in the bathtub if she doesn't try. She's had some accidents, and we don't make a big deal about it, accidents happen; however, some of those accidents would happen after she refused to try going pee before bed, which is why the "sleep in the bathtub" threat came about. We don't get mad at the accident we get mad that she doesn't listen about trying before bed. If she wakes up wet in the night, just wipe down quickly change the sheets and put her back to bed. Now accidents are rare.

 

[molly2004]

I have to agree with a previous poster who said to let it come at the child's pace. My boys are 4.5 years old. I put them to bed with their pull ups and let them know that they can stop wearing them whenever they want. I did that with day time potty training and they decided (both within a week of each other) that they didn't want to wear pull ups any more. And that was that. I think the same will happen with nighttime. When they're ready, they'll tell me.....

 

[lclark0621]

It is not lazy or not caring.

Your child is asleep.

Some kids just dont wake up at night when they have to go. They need more time to mature.

Back off & give her some space.

Soon enough she will start making it through the night dry or waking up dry.

Until then use pull ups or good nights. The more pressure you put on her & yourself, the harder it will be on her.

She wont go off to college wearing a pull up at night, I promise.

 

[MommyBryn]

DD is 30 months and we just recently conquered nighttime. She's been daytime trained since about 18 months but I've been too wimpy to do nighttime and outings. Want to know what worked for us? Just decided to go cold turkey one night and let her go to bed sans diaper (and no panties, either). When she doesn't have ANYTHING on she NEVER misses the potty, but occasionally when she'd have panties on she'd have accidents. So that one night was the last night she wore diapers to bed! We let her go to bed nakey 3 nights in a row (no accidents) and from then on she started wearing panties to bed and has never once had an accident! That's how we did outings, too...just went cold turkey one day (happened to be the ONE day we were away from home from morning to night!) and she never once has an accident!

ETA- for what it's worth, we also do cloth diapers and casual elimination communication from early on, but that really only played a part in her daytime potting learning.

 

[dijid]

Before you potty trained, was your DD ever dry when she woke up in the mornings? If her diaper was never dry, then you may be dealing with primary enuresis. I have this problem with my almost 5yo. Her body lacks either capacity, hormone or connection between the bladder and brain to signal "wake up". Right now I don't do anything about it. She is to the point where she has randomly had a few dry nights, but I know that if she still isn't dry at night by age 7, I will use a bedwetting alarm.

I know this because my almost 9yo still has bedwetting issues. She conquered things with the help of a bedwetting alarm when she was 7. But we still have to periodically re-train her with it. Her problem is that she's just an incredibly deep sleeper. Even wetting the bed didn't wake her up.

Another thing that may be a culprit is sleep apnea. Does your DD snore at night? If so, the interruptions in the sleep may prevent her body from decreasing urine output. I had a friend whose DD's bedwetting ended when she got her tonsils out.

Good luck, be patient and if you're really bothered, talk to your ped.

 

[motherofautumn]

Mine too! She was potty trained during the day at 2 1/2, and has been making it through the night since May. Her "issue" was physical -- she slept HARD. Her body would wake up while she was mentally still asleep. We would limit her nighttime drinks (and try to avoid any liquid consumption after 7 pm), have her go potty before bed, and then wake her up when we went to bed to have her go again. After about 7 months of that, she could wake up enough to go without us reminding her. And now we're pull-up free!!!

 

[crisi]

Please, please, please - she is not lazy, she probably does care.

I wet the bed until I was twelve. Please do not make her feel any shame about this. Some kids just do - and for a long time. Try the suggestions above, keep them in pullups (how I wish their had been pullups 30 years ago! It would have saved my mother endless loads of laundry) and be patient.

 

[pntsmom99]

Hi,

My DD who is 9 has encopresis & enuresis. My daughter is managing her encopresis really well but still has lots of wetting accidents. We've managed to get a handle on her nightime wetting...for the most part by limiting her drinking after 6pm, making sure she goes potty before bed and by waking her up and taking her potty between 10:30pm-11:30pm. As long as she is taken late at night, no accidents.

If we forget, I can guarantee we'll be washing sheets in the morning.

 

[chloe770]

I also just recently went through this with DS5. He was waking up 3 or 4 morning per week dry, so I decided it was time to get rid of the pull ups. The first thing I did was order sheet protectors from One Step Ahead. This way when he did wet the bed during the night I just removed the sheet protector and didn't have to change the sheets until morning. After about 2 weeks of changing sheet every couple of days, he started to go to the bathroom to pee or was making it thru the night. I think something just clicked with him and he got it. Good luck.

 

[disneymarie]

Sorry for the off topic...

Any advice or suggestions for getting DD4 to use the potty at night? She hasn't had an accident during the day for 6months and uses underwear all day. But we are still using pullups for bed.

I honestly don't know if she just isn't ready or is lazy and doesn't want to get up or if she just doesn't care.
We get her to go before bed and try to get her to go first thing in the morning (there is lots of "but I don't have to). She does have a tendancy to just lay around in bed after being woken up in the morning.

She has made it a few times and we made a big deal about it. She was very proud but never 2 days in a row. We've told her if she makes it 3 nights in a row, she can go without a diaper.

Considering giving her a shot the night before the next sheet changing day.

I don't want to use threats and haven't really pushing the matter, but she just turned 4 and it seems like it is time.

Meanwhile, DS4 one day just decided he was ready and hasn't had a problem.

Any thoughts or suggestions?
Thanks!

Could this be a bed wetting night thing. My 4/5 yr old was the same way and ended up with sleep patterns not sleeping well snoring, We had the tonsils adnoids out and then she stopped wetting the bed. The older son did wet until about 6.
The other two were nearly always dry, no bed wetting, maybe one time each.

We watched how long before bed a drink, woke to take to the bathroom, and then son out grew it.
Dianne

 

[02AggieGirl]

My DD was potty trained at 2.5, but she wore diapers at night until she was 4. Literally the day after she turned 4 she just woke up dry and has ever since. I worried about it too, but finally just let it go and figured it would happen. It did! So I say just be patient.

ETA: We tried reducing the amount she drank at dinner and nothing before bed. We made her go to the bathroom before she went to sleep and even tried to wake her in the night to make her go. Sometimes she wouldn't even wake up. None of that worked b/c she just wasn't ready. It was ridiculous of me, really!

 

[K and K's Mommy]

My DD was potty trained at 27 months, but she did not stay dry at night until about 5 1/2. At her 4 year old appointment, my doctor told me not to worry about it. He did tell me a lot of what other people have already posted. At 5 we still were nighttime wetting so he told me he would now recommend a potty alarm. I forget what it was called! About 3 months later she stayed dry, and we've never had an accident! My doctor said there is a medicine that helps, but he will not prescribe it until at least 7.

Don't worry. Use a pull-up so everyone is not stressed out.

 

[kopmom]

I agree with some of the others. My ped told me that it is something that happens naturally and cannot be "trained".

My dd who is now 7 was a very heavy sleeper and was day trained at 2.5 but wore a pullup till she was 5.

My ds who is 4 was potty trained day and night at 3 with no accidents. He did not want to wear a pullup to bed and he either hold it or gets up and goes during the night but he is a much lighter sleeper then my daughter.

I would just wait and it will happen on its own. I also agree most Dr do not worry till the age of 7

 

[crisi]

I would just wait and it will happen on its own. I also agree most Dr do not worry till the age of 7

Even at seven, there isn't a cause for worry - almost every outgrows this - though some people as late as their young teens (there are a few adults who have bedwetting issues, but its VERY rare). There weren't alarms or medications when I was a kid, but I - and most people like me - eventually outgrew it. The issue becomes that around seven, sleepovers start - and other opportunities for it to become a social nightmare. At that point, it MIGHT be worth medicating or trying an alarm or something - although even then its a parental decision - I'm a little more hesitant than many to medicate something.

 

[jnsma]

Thanks for the feedback.

A few responses to questions or items:

On the lazy comment: She likes to lay in her bed even after her brother gets up. No big deal. But when she comes out, we take the pullup off and ask her to use the potty. Occasionally I get... "but I already peed in my diaper"

We also went through a span not long ago on nights when she didn't want to go to bed, she'd complain "I have pee in my diaper". Well, that touched a nerve of a) you are just saying that to get out of bed b) you could have gone yourself (getting up to pee is allowed and encouraged) and c) you don't seem to mind in the morning when the diaper is FULL.
She's not stupid, sometimes it is hard to tell when she is playing us.

She is a very sound sleeper. I don't worry about apnea with her. DS maybe. Me yes definately.

I don't think we are pushing (yet, hence the post), and I'm not sure we are really ready for cold turkey unless she brings it up, then it would probably be a one day at a time to see how it goes.
Middle of the night changes aren't much fun. DS normally wakes me up by touching tickleing foot and I know the day isn't starting out well when the first thing he doesn't touch me but says "Daddy, can I tell you something?" (No, go tell Mommy )

Thanks again for the feedback.

 

[Disney1976]

Thanks for the feedback.

A few responses to questions or items:

On the lazy comment: She likes to lay in her bed even after her brother gets up. No big deal. But when she comes out, we take the pullup off and ask her to use the potty. Occasionally I get... "but I already peed in my diaper"

We also went through a span not long ago on nights when she didn't want to go to bed, she'd complain "I have pee in my diaper". Well, that touched a nerve of a) you are just saying that to get out of bed b) you could have gone yourself (getting up to pee is allowed and encouraged) and c) you don't seem to mind in the morning when the diaper is FULL.
She's not stupid, sometimes it is hard to tell when she is playing us.

She is a very sound sleeper. I don't worry about apnea with her. DS maybe. Me yes definately.

I don't think we are pushing (yet, hence the post), and I'm not sure we are really ready for cold turkey unless she brings it up, then it would probably be a one day at a time to see how it goes.
Middle of the night changes aren't much fun. DS normally wakes me up by touching tickleing foot and I know the day isn't starting out well when the first thing he doesn't touch me but says "Daddy, can I tell you something?" (No, go tell Mommy )

Thanks again for the feedback.

With the first issue, the only thing I can suggest is that you don't let her linger in bed, but have her go to the potty as soon as she gets up. Truthfully though, I think that's something all kids do. I know with my former stepson, if we didn't take his diaper off right away in the mornings, he'd use it for that "morning pee" ; then again, I can honestly say it never bothered me because I knew he wasn't waking up dry anyway, the diaper was already wet, so really how much of a battle did I want to make over this? Because he had already wet during the night, it was more like a few drops than anything else. Is your daughter waking up dry, and then using the pullup as soon as she wakes up instead of the potty? In that instance, not letting her linger in bed might be your best bet.

With the second issue, maybe you should put the pullup on right before she climbs in bed (if you aren't already). Again, I think a lot of kids once they have a diaper/pullup on will just use it for its intended purpose, after all, that's what they did for most of their young lives! So, if she takes a bath before bed lets say, she can wear underwear while brushing her teeth, reading stories, etc., then just before she gets in bed, she should try to use the potty once more, then put the pullup on.