I've lived with diabetes most of my life, first with my father and then I was officially diagnosed about 10 years ago. Plus, my wife is diabetic. It's been a struggle, but here are a few things I've learned:
1. The best way we've found to diet is to use Weight Watchers. Their point system allows you to select foods based on calories, fat and fiber. I have found this system to be a bit more preferable than the dietitian because it allows you more flexibility. Plus, I've personally never had luck with dietitians. One told me I was the ideal weight, another told me I needed to lose 30 lbs and cut back to 1200 calories per day (I'm 6'1" 200 lbs. I could lose some weight, but I'm naturally a more muscular guy). It's pricey at first, but once you get the swing of it, it makes dining choices better. Also, there is a helpful website, Dottie's weight loss zone, to help with eating out and point values.
2. Splurge once in a while. Sticking to any eating regimen too long will burn you out. As a diabetic, I must admit sugar is like a drug to me. Sometimes I have to give in and just adjust my medication later.
3. Be careful to avoid the "sugar-free" trap. I see you've already taken note that "healthy foods" are not always such. A lot of the "sugar-free foods" end up substituting carbs for sugar, so in the long-run they will raise your blood sugar more.
4. Learn to "read" your body. Since I grew up with a parent that was diabetic, I learned to tell just by temperament if my dad's blood sugar was off or not. Keep in mind that if it is high, you'll not only be tired but also very irritable. When he was in a bad mood, I would just ask what his sugars were. He'd check and sure enough he was high. I do it now, too. Also, try to see how you feel when you're low. Some people cannot tell, but I can because I'm shaky, disoriented, my heart races and if it happens at night, I'll wake up from a sleep.
5. Don't let it get the best of you. I guess a good way to describe this is that I work with a bunch of diabetics and they all have their testing equipment out and act like they're going to pass out and start foaming at the mouth because their blood sugars are 180. Well, for starters, most of them will chow down on the "sugar free" stuff all day long or eat like it's their last meal, then make a big scene of it. I take an entirely different approach. I watch what I eat (which is REALLY hard since there is no diabetic friendly doughnut) and try not to advertise that I'm diabetic, unlike the drama queens I work with. My co-workers all know I am because they have wondered why I eat a lean cuisine meal and a banana every day for lunch instead of eating "like a man", but I try to make diabetes just a small part of my life, not like some people that want to use it to define their life.
6. Get support from people around you. Fortunately, with my wife being diabetic she has to watch what she eats, but since you have kids they won't have the same dietary restrictions you might. Still, I've found it much easier to take the temptation away by reducing junk foods and such. It won't be fun, but the kids will learn to adapt.
Among other things I changed, I minimize milk because of the lactose in it, but drink fat free or 1%. I won't use salt on anything (hypertension being a complication associated with being diabetic), I have learned to appreciate boca burgers and other "meat substitutes" (fat and calories are greatly reduced), I've learned to substitute ground turkey (
Walmart sells a 1 lb tube of 93% lean) for ground beef (again, fat and calories, I eat more chicken and lean meats, I avoid cheese as much as possible (not fun, but adds calories and fat) and try to eat lower calorie, higher grain foods. Another complication associated with diabetes is cholesterol, so the fewer animal products the better, including eggs. For breakfast I often will eat a "better start" English muffin that is sold at walmart. Only 100 calories and although not as pleasant as a real muffin, at least fills me. I use Brown & Brummel's yogurt spread instead of butter and some sort of reduced calorie jelly.
The thing I struggled with the most at first was that other than being irritable and tired, I didn't know how bad being diabetic was. There wasn't pain involved... However, about 5 years ago I nearly lost my right eye to an infection that was exacerbated by high sugar and about 5 months ago a tiny infection from an ingrown toenail resulted in my big toenail actually falling off in a matter of weeks.
