OT--need to vent about school

[ampc3]

ok, sorry for the OT here but I am soo mad right now, I think there is smoke coming out of my head!
Ok so we are planning on moving this summer to a different county, we wanted to start touring school etc before school lets out.

So I called to try and set up an appointment for next week, (we are about 1 1/2 hours away) Nope they can't do next week, b/c of the CRCT Testing ok, I understand that I guess. However the person I spoke to was less than accomadating and just not very nice!
ok so we push it back to the following week, then I ask if we can meet with the Prinicpal or assist, b/c we will have some questions. pause....

"Well she doesn't really do that, if she met with every parent I gave tours to, she would never get anything done!" ok shock first of all at the response then her tone of voice was not friendly AT ALL!

Now I sortof understand what she is saying, but I am sorry isn't that her job and the role of the prinicpal to be available to students and parents!I was just caught so off gurad by this! Are we being unreasonable here? Do prospective parents not normally want to meet with administration?
We would never move to an area with out seeing the school and TRYING to meet with the principal if we could.
It makes me right now want to completely write this area off!again sorry for the vent, I am just so mad. I wonder if the principal really knows what this lady is saying to people! or if she is the one telling her to say it!:

 

[Hope73]

I am a substitue teacher and I applaud you for being so interested in your child's school. Where we live that is not a common thing to request at all but I know that you would have been given the royal treatment and toured by the principal himself.

I may question that disctrict. I would find out more about the school or talk to another parent in the school.

 

[tw1nsmom]

Yes, that attitude would twerk me too. However, it may just be that person. Our kids go to a wonderful little public school. Almost all the people (including the principal) are warm, lovely people. The most difficult, moody person to deal with is the school secretary. I often wonder if they put the least pleasant person out on the front line to scare people away.

If you want to talk to the principal I would either insist on making an appointment through the less than pleasant person, or I would go online and find the principals Email. I would be careful how you word it though. Maybe something along the lines of,

"Ms. X has been so helpful in arranging a tour of your school for us. I understand that this is a busy time of year for you, but we would really like a chance to meet with you and have a few questions answered. We're very active in our children's education and look forward to continuing that at their new school."

If he/she still won't meet with you I would make sure that you're comfortable with that school. Another option if they are truly straight out busy, would be maybe they could answer some of your questions via Email. I would be a little hesitant, however, about a school where the principal wasn't available to meet with parents.

 

[meandtheguys2]

While I see your point, wouldn't it be better if the principal and assitant spend their time running the school, rather than being tour guides? Surely there is some sort of open house, isn't there?

 

[ampc3]

I see your point as well, but if the pricipal is unwilling to take time to meet with parents b/c they take time away from her busy schedule or are just viewed as being a pain, then I think it speaks volumes of the administration and how the school is run.. And there is ALWAYS a nicer way to say something, I just spoke to another school to make an appt, and the reaction was COMPLETELY different! The lady I spoke to could have said everything much different of like the other poster said ,she could have said she would be happy to answer your questions via email or over the phone etc... She was just like ah no SHE doesn't do that!
and as far as the open house those are in the begining of the school year, we are moving over the summer.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I see your point as well, but if the pricipal is unwilling to take time to meet with parents b/c they take time away from her busy schedule or are just viewed as being a pain, then I think it speaks volumes of the administration and how the school is run.. And there is ALWAYS a nicer way to say something, I just spoke to another school to make an appt, and the reaction was COMPLETELY different! The lady I spoke to could have said everything much different of like the other poster said ,she could have said she would be happy to answer your questions via email or over the phone etc... She was just like ah no SHE doesn't do that!

I totally agree on the delivery.

 

[PlutoPony]

Principal wouldn't likely meet with you at our schools either, there are so many kids coming in that it would take up a lot of their time. Our schools are large (elementary 900, middle 1700) so the principals truly don't have the time to spend an hour or two with new students I'm afraid. Plus, if they met with you they'd set a precedent for meeting with every new student to the school - all the kindergarten parents, and all 6th grade parents at MS. In elementary school, one of the secretaries would likely take you around the building; they are probably a parent too and frankly would give you the best info about the school. At the middle school, the guidance dept. handles this type of thing and they don't do tours during the school year until you're enrolled and it's your first day or something like that. Part of this is security - parents are not allowed back to go past the office/guidance area. There are open houses and orientations before school starts, and those are a great opportunity to not only view the school but meet teachers which is more important the principal IMO.
Hope things go well with your move!

 

[Stick People]

Just my opinion - but it sometimes feels as if there is an epidemic of unprofessionalism sweeping across the nation. I have been treated much the same way - as if I had cooties - on more then one occasion lately.

I wonder if anyone out there actually knows how to deliver bad news with tact!

Don't back down - show up in person and ask to speak with her if that's what it takes. - GOOD LUCK

 

[DawnM]

Hmmm....it may just be that school. We have a couple of schools near us that REFUSE to give any tours, ever. They said they get 100 requests per month to see the school and they just can't honor that or they would spend most of their time giving tours. It is because we live in a very good school district and people come from all over who are "thinking of moving" and just want to see the schools first. I understand that, but I also see their point. If they have 900 people to give tours to, that is 5 tours per day....that really would be a full time job.

Dawn

 

[ampc3]

I know, if you think about it there is usually ALWAYS a nicer, better way to say things some time, maybe she was just having a bad day (I hope) I see everyone's point as well.. I am just starting to think we are the only ones who ask this sort of stuff? werid for us I guess..
All these open house , orientation ideas are great, but that doesn't help us in moving over the summer when we are basing our house buying decision on THE SCHOOLS!
The more I think about it the tour is the most important thing to us, which doesn't seem to be a problem. I guess if we have specific questions noone can answer we will just try the email route.
If you knew the reason why we are moving and the school we are coming from, I think you would understand why it is soo important to us to pick the right school this time around! I totally agree with the poster about tact and just being nice! Like I said the other school I called the lady who answered night and day!

 

[Boncho]

This thread has taken me by surprise. My sons school encourages parents to talk to the principal and tour the school. I would not send my son to a school if I could not meet the principal. No matter how busy people are,they should take a couple of minutes to meet parents. ampc3 I don't blame you for being mad, I would be also.

 

[mrs.beast]

I teach in one of the best schools in CA. We do not do tours for individuals nor will our principal, who is amazing and loved by all, meet with prospective students or parents. He does tours personally once a month from March until the end of the year. He also does K only tours every Friday in March (I think) for those parents as a group. I have to say that he does not have time to meet with parents of incoming students. He is too active with the current students. We have almost 600 students and my principal knows every child's name and almost every parent's name also. He plays with the kids on the playground at recess. I have had 6 principals and he is by far the best. So, don't judge the school on the principal's ability to meet with you. Our school also has a parent committee through the PTA to answer questions. You should see if this one does also. We also have open house, in spring. Most schools have back to school in the fall and open house in spring. Open house is where most people shopping for school get info on our school.
Just as an FYI, we have an excellent secretary who i love, but parents constantly complain that she is not very warm and they do not like her. The kids love her though and she is amazing with them, just not the parents, which should matter the most.

 

[trayletha]

Yikes - I can understand your reaction to the tone and attitude you got from the secretary at that school. Ours is a very small school, and the principal meets with each incoming Kindergardener/ PreK family during the late spring and early summer- and any prosective incoming families during the year (with a limit of 10 a month). Part of the reason we chose this school.

Have you tried other ways to get information on the school - this site is really good, and you can sometimes find reviews by current attendees:

http://www.publicschoolreview.com

I hope that link works, good luck!

 

[Hannathy]

I'm in the minority but I don't want the administrator that I am paying $80-90,000 or so plus another 15 thous or so in benefits to be spending their time giving tours to every family who MAY NOT even be coming there a tour. I would think an aide or secretary or even a parent volunteer would be better suited for the tour and possibly a 3 minute meet the principal type situation. It isn't even like it would be if you were going there for sure. Then I still wouldn't want them giving tours but may schedule a short appointment if you have specific questions.

IMO you won't get the best info from the principal anyway, what administrator isn't going to say they have a great school and great teachers? Check the public records if you are concerned about academic standards and talk to real people- thru your realtor or a newcomers group in the community if you want a feel for the school.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Well OP I am on board with you. We bought our home in an area that has excellent schools. It is the reason we chose here. However- I did not grow up in this district nor did my dh. I know they are good schools from the school reports and from friends but I need to know a little more than that if I am going to send my children there. I called the school and had no problem making an appointment with the principal. At first the secreyary seemed a little taken aback but she was not rude. The principal was so nice and did not rush the meeting at all. She went over the curriculum, school policies and anything I asked her about. She is a Mom and was completely understanding of my concerns (this is my first child to enter K) and I felt much better after I met her. If she couldn't find the time to meet me I would have been really annoyed and would probably have considered private school. I just felt that if she couldn't make time for me now, what about if and when I had a real problem. JMHO.

 

[luvdiz2]

I may be wrong, but the OP didn't expect the Principal to take them on a tour, just take the time to answer some questions and meet with them to do this. Doesn't seem too "out there" for them to take a few minutes. Maybe e-mail some questions so he can be prepared and take less of his/her time.

I also agree with the delivery is important.

 

[srgibbs]

We send our children to private Christian school (HUGE Financial Sacrafice) but what you just explained is one of the many reasons why. In order to get in you MUST meet with the principal (both parents) and give your testimony in writing. We spent 2 hours with her learning all about the school, the programs, how everything works, what is expected out of children and parents, discipline, ect. ect. Had we not had that meeting I would be clueless going into it. I know there are some good public schools out there in fact we live in an area that is known for Great public schools but we just felt like the Christian atmosphere and smaller school worked best for our family.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

We are moving to a new school district during the summer also. I asked a question on this thread because I couldn't decide to keep DS in the Catholic school he is currently attending or switch him to the public school.

When I called the elementary school he will attend to ask about a tour the secretary was very nice. I asked if the tour could be on April 26 since DS is off from school that day and he could come also. The secretary did hesitiate and say it is take your child to school day so it won't be a "normal" day there. But when I explained that DS was very apprehensive about leaving his current school and I thought if he seen the new school he might feel more at ease. She was very accomodating and just reminded me the atmosphere will be more lax as well as the normal attendance will be down. I told her that was OK. We know people who send their kids to this school though and I know it has a good ciriculium andprincipal, so I didn't request a meeting with her. I may have been taken aback with the attitude and response the OP received also.

 

[KirstenB]

I bet the principal would meet with you at almost any point over the summer. Around here, there's tons of "end of school" stuff that starts in spring. Trying to get the kids ready for SOL testing, etc.

Whereas, over the summer, things are so much easier. Heck I've called the school a couple of times in the summer, and the principal is the one who answered the phone!

 

[perdidochas]

ok, sorry for the OT here but I am soo mad right now, I think there is smoke coming out of my head!
Ok so we are planning on moving this summer to a different county, we wanted to start touring school etc before school lets out.

So I called to try and set up an appointment for next week, (we are about 1 1/2 hours away) Nope they can't do next week, b/c of the CRCT Testing ok, I understand that I guess. However the person I spoke to was less than accomadating and just not very nice!
ok so we push it back to the following week, then I ask if we can meet with the Prinicpal or assist, b/c we will have some questions. pause....

"Well she doesn't really do that, if she met with every parent I gave tours to, she would never get anything done!" ok shock first of all at the response then her tone of voice was not friendly AT ALL!

Now I sortof understand what she is saying, but I am sorry isn't that her job and the role of the prinicpal to be available to students and parents!I was just caught so off gurad by this! Are we being unreasonable here? Do prospective parents not normally want to meet with administration?
We would never move to an area with out seeing the school and TRYING to meet with the principal if we could.
It makes me right now want to completely write this area off!again sorry for the vent, I am just so mad. I wonder if the principal really knows what this lady is saying to people! or if she is the one telling her to say it!:

Call again, and ask to speak to the principal. If the lady won't let you get through, call the Superintendents office. I can just about guarantee, you will get a meeting with the principal.