OT: Need advice - DD is being bullied @school

[luckey-lasvegas]

I need advise from teachers and parents. DD who is in the 4th grade is having a problem with a boy and a girl at school. The boy was in her class last year and while they didn't get along she was always able to ignore him. This year he has teamed up with a girl who has flat out told my DD I don't like you, you're a show off. I told my DD that not everyone was going to like her in her life and that she should do her best to be respectful to them and to ignore their teasing, which she has been successful with for the last couple of months. But now these two children are recruiting other children in the class to seperate my DD from activities and they are telling the other children in the class that she is saying things about the other kids (which is not true ). She is very sad but does not want to tell the teacher for fear of being labled a tattle tale. Any advise would be helpful.

 

[missymagic]

One of my DD's girlfriends had a siniliar problem. Our school the teachers are so kind and understanding. There are not too many that you can't talk to. This is a horrible age because the hormones are starting and these children do not know what to do or how to conduct themselves. Any way she called the teacher we have direct lines to our teachers and emails as well. The teacher was very understanding and had noticed somethings. She ended up addressing the who class without pointing out students. Layed it on pretty good and it seemed to help she didn't have any more problems that year. She never did tell her dd that she called. Good luck...

 

[SarahKate]

Well, you could do what I did around that age. A boy named John (I'll never forget his name, ever) bullied me aLL the time. I was very shy and tried my best to ignore him. Well, one day I had it, and I punched him in the face! We both went to the principal's office and while we weresitting there waiting for our parents to come, John asked if we could be friends - I said NO. When my mom came to get me, she found out what happened and had a smirk on her face.

Not that I would EVER condone doing this in your situation!

Seriously, I think you should address this with the teacher and maybe at least have her keep an eye on what happens in class. Good luck to you and your DD. I know how it feels to be bullied.

 

[Aliisa]

This breaks my heart If I were you I would speak with her teacher and let her know what is going on. She will be able to keep an eye on it and hopefully nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand. She doesn't have to use names, but maybe the entire class needs a talk about why we don't bully. Most schools today take this very seriously and have a 0 tollerance policy on teasing and bullying. Especially in recent years with all of the school shootings which in many cases was by students who had been bullied and tormented for years by other students.
Maybe if she has a best friend, have her over for a sleepover. I think having at least one really good friend on your side makes a big difference Give her a big hug and tell her how awesome she is!! Good luck- keep us posted!!!!

 

[Schmeck]

You need to get this stopped immediately. Go to the teacher, or the principal, but get it addressed now. There should be a policy in place at your school. Does your school have a student handbook, or parent handbook? Bullying should be addressed in that handbook.

 

[I'mNoPrince]

I would also drop a note or E-mail to the teacher or Admin if that doesn't work .

Your child is there to learn and can't do that to her fullest if having to worry about this we had and still have the same problem every once in a while with w certian child in DD's class .

It was the teasing and separating issues . As DD is a bit of a tomboy I let her tell the girl that I was going to give her permission to beat the girl into a pulp.It still flares up but the teachers are aware and DD really doesn't care that much.

 

[ggeorgiagirl]

As a teacher, I would not tolerate bullying in my classroom. Occasionally, a kid would try to bully others in the bathroom or playground. I would NEVER know it unless someone told me! They ALWAYS told because they knew that I would do whatever it took to get it stopped. I did find out that the really BAD bullies usually had bully parents. Those are the kids who would not stop bullying even if I caught them, called parents and sent them to the principal. In that case, ALWAYS go to the counselor! She/He can usually stop it if all else fails! Actually, go to the counselor and the teacher (a joint meeting in the counselors office). That way the teacher will be held more accountable! Some teachers just brush it under the rug...DON'T let that happen!

Good luck and let us know how it went!

Love,
Beth

 

[homemaker]

I understand how you feel as a parent with a son who has been bullied. Just the other day a couple a boys held him in the bathroom stall. When my son tried to go under to get out, they kick him and left a brush burn on his leg. I called the school as soon as he got home and told me what happened. This was on Thursday and they have yet to do anything about it. The assistant principle spoke to my son twice and has yet to speak to the other children. I am going to continue calling the school tell I'm sure they have done something about it.

If I were you I would call the school. Your DD has the right to be in school and NOT be bullied. Good luck, hope everything goes well.

 

[daisyduck123]

I'm a teacher. You've got to tell the teacher. She can take care of it w/o the other kids finding out that your daughter told.

 

[luckey-lasvegas]

Well, I wrote the teacher a letter and dropped it off at the office today. She emailed me back and said that she would address the situation, and that the young lady in question has already been called on the carpet for a similar situation. She said that she would keep it private and let me know how things progress. Thank you all for your advise !

I really didn't want to hire the body guard to kick some 4th grade booty .

 

[surfgirl]

I know this won't help this year, but when it is teacher-assignment time, can you request that she not be placed with this specific girl (or boy?) that is the problem ? (for next year) Since it has been 2 yrs ongoing now, they might be a little more understanding.... I know every school has a different policy, but just thinking down the road.

 

[natenapril]

My DD is on the 4th grade and was being bullied too. The girls was taking my dd's violin and running off with it. I called the teacher on that one and it stopped.

A few days later the little girl and her brother decided to start calling my daughters name on the walk home from school. My DD came home n tears.
Needless, to say I went and had a chat with the mom. She was not to happy with me but she needed to know her children were not being nice. She still gives me evil looks every time she sees me though

 

[kmccartney]

Please address this immediately with the school principal.

My DS who is now 12 rides a bus to and from school. He has a 50 minute bus ride every morning, and about 40 minute bus ride home. Last year my DH suprised our son and picked him up at school. DS was so relieved that his father picked him up that he ended up in tears. When DH asked DS about it, DS finally told us that three boys (all one year older then him) have been bullying him for almost two years on the bus, and it had recently turned to physical bullying. For years I had told him to ignore other kids like that and they would leave him alone.... well obviously this didn't work and he had been suffering the abuse. The very next morning my DH was in the school office meeting with the principal. The bullying came to an immediate stop. This took so much stress off DS that he instantly became a different kid, so much more relaxed. There has not been any problems since.

 

[disneysfab5]

I had a very similar situation last year with my daughter who was also in grade 4. I would set up a time to talk to your childs teacher. My daughter's teacher could not believe this was going on in her class room and on the playground with out her knowing. She went to the principle and had a meeting with the boys parents. He is now not allowed to talk to my daughter at recess and will never be in her class again. This boy was very popular and many kids were mad at her for telling on him, however her true friends stuck with her and its all but forgoten this year. It is sad that this is happening at such a young age. Good luck with your situation.