OT - Moving to a Bed

[jcc0621]

Let me start off with an apology becasue this is a little long winded.

DS is 3 1/2 and last week we finally moved to a toddler bed. We started the week before Easter and the 1st couple of days were fine and now we have run into THE PROBLEM. When bedtime comes we do our normal routine (bath, teeth, potty (sometimes success, sometimes not), read a story and tuck him in. When he was in the crib he was fine with this. Now, after we tuck him, we start to go about our normal routine (packing lunches, etc) when all of a sudden he is out of bed and roaming around upstairs. He won't go to sleep until me or DH go in and lay on the floor next to his bed. Has anyone else run into this when making the switch? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. DH and I are at our wits end.

 

[brymolmom]

Everyone has different opinions on this...but IMO I would stop the laying on the floor thing NOW, before he comes to expect it. The good thing is that he's old enough to understand. I would say something like 'This is the last night that mommy/daddy can do this. After 8 (or 10 or how long it has been) days in a new bed, you get the light on in the hall and mom and dad right out in the kitchen. And you need to stay in your bed and rest.'

If he gets out of bed, walk him back to bed (no talking, no drinks of water, no anything). Continue walking him back to bed each time he gets out. Same thing on the next night - just walk him back to bed. If it doesn't get significantly better after 3 nights of this, personally, I would start with whatever punishment works for him. As in - every time you get out of bed you get one checkmark on the paper - every checkmark is one movie/minute on computer, etc that you DO NOT get. OR - you can put a treat he likes in a jar and every time he gets up - one of the treats is taken from the jar.

Just be FIRM right now. Decide what you want it to be like and stick to it. The extra effort you put in now for a few nights/weeks, will be repaid to you in making it SO MUCH EASIER for the future. I know lots of parents who have gone to bed with their kids for years. That's totally fine IF IT IS WHAT YOU, the parent, WANT TO HAPPEN. But if it's the kid calling the shots, that's not a good situation. Personally, I need the time after the kids go to bed to do dishes, pay bills, post on DIS . So I could never do the go to bed with the kids until they fall asleep routine.

Good luck!

 

[debit34]

Sounds like a little sleep training is in order. We switched my dd to a twin bed when she was 2.5 and that was just a few months ago. We had similar problems. Initially, we just had to keep putting her back in her bed at night when she would get up - over and over again until she started staying in there. She got better and used to the situation. We tried putting a gate on the door but that really freaked her out, that works for some though.

For awhile there, she was getting up in the middle of the night like it was morning. She'd come over to my side of the bed and yell "GOOD MORNING MOMMY". I would just keep telling her it's not time to get up yet and walk her back to bed. After many times of doing this she understood. We still have the problem of her waking up very early in the morning but she just comes into my room and if it's past 5:00, we let her cuddle with us.

Things will get better eventually but in a way it is like having a newborn to sleep train again. Good luck!

 

[CastleCreations]

I believe in cold turkey with everything. Diapers, bottles, sleeping in a crib. When I moved my kids (all 3) would get up in the beginning, and just be firm, and say it's time for bed, and either usher them back in their room or physically put them in bed. I didn't make any other conversation or talk to them. I wanted them to know that Mommy was finished playing for the night. It is bedtime and that's it. After a few weeks, they begin to get the picture and just stay in bed. But whatever you decide, I hope it works for you. Lisa

 

[Tigger&Aidan]

This is why we are still in a crib now - I'm afraid this is going to happen! I have such a good sleeper now that I don't want to mess with it. We'll be giving it a try in the next month of so and I plan on doing what most of the other posters reccomended - right back to bed with no discussion or play. I've seen this on Super Nanny or Nanny 911 before - where the kid got out of bed a zillion times and every time they had to put him right back. Eventually, he figured they weren't going to give in (or he got tired!) and it worked.
Good luck and I hope you can find something that works for you!

 

[nessz79]

With our first (now 4), we waited until he was 3 so that he could understand what we told him. It was kind of funny, because in the beginning he didn't seem to know that he could get out of bed- he'd still call for us if he was ready to get up in the morning.

However, he does now get up when he's supposed to go to bed. We just usher him back to bed. Make sure everything is taken care of before he goes to bed- potty, etc. so there are no excuses available. And then just be consistent.

IMHumbleO, I wouldn't lay next to him. He's old enough to probably reason with.

 

[Barbers2005]

Dd had this problem when we switched her to a toddler bed. She was 2.5, but we didn't really have a choice b/c she was climbing over the crib rails. We tried sleeping on the floor next to her, which worked ok, but such a pain. We gave up on that and put a baby gate across her doorway. Then we'd tuck her in bed and come back to take a peek every 15 minutes or so to make sure she wasn't playing instead of sleeping (try to do it without being seen). Sometimes she'd sleep in bed, sometimes crash on the floor (we just moved her into the bed). Eventually she got the hang of it.

 

[jcc0621]

Thanks for all the tips everyone....

 

[aroyer]

I am so glad to come across this thread! Our DD had no problems when we switched her to a big girl bed at 2.5. She got out of bed once- her first nap in the big girl bed and I just put her back in bed and she never did it again. Up until a few years ago, would call to us if she needed to get up to go to the bathroom!! (Boy did we have her trained!) However, DS (almost 2) is going to be another story all together. I can already tell he is not going to transition as easily. I do remember hearing about the just walking them back to bed without conversation, it was good to refresh my memory on that! Thanks!

 

[CampbellScot]

Totally agree with the previous poster who said "STOP" the laying on the floor thing.

Take a page from Supernanny...every time he gets up, take him right back to the bed, put him in it and leave the room. Don't talk to him, don't give him a drink of water, nothing. Every time he gets up, put him right back in bed. It make take hours the first night, but you have to be consistent. It gets easier every night and he WILL get it. Just don't cave to the "tactics" of crying or "needing" something. (Actually Supernanny does the "good night" the first time they get up and then goes to silence after that. It really does work wonders as long as you are consistent)

Your son just needs to know that no matter what he does, he ends up in bed. Once he realizes that y'all aren't messing around, he'll go right to sleep. He's searching for a boundary. You just need to give it to him!!!

good luck!!! You can do it!!!

 

[WantToGoNow]

We switched my dd to a regular bed 1.5 years ago - she was 17 mos. at the time. We've had no problem with her staying in bed until the last month. She goes to bed fine, but then 30 minutes or an hour later I will notice the light on. I go in and she's playing (sometimes in bed, sometimes not - tonight she eating a chocolate bar in bed) -- and big brother is usually sleeping (they are in bunk beds - she's on top). I simply go in, tell her to lay down, and turn off the light. This has become part of our nightly routine - now I just check earlier to see if the lights on.

I had problems keeping ds5 in his bed when we moved him from the crib to a toddler bed. It took a great deal of patience before he was staying in his bed -- and now he doesn't even get up in the night to go pee.

 

[sskem96]

I moved my kids out of a crib at 15 mos. because I was afraid they'd climb over the crib rails and get hurt. I never left them alone while they were still awake though. I always read and sang to them until they fell asleep, even when they were still in the crib, so we continued it when they moved into the toddler bed. They were usually asleep within 10-15 minutes, which was a lot less work and pain for both of us than taking them back to their bed umpteen times and leaving them in silence. Sorry, but that doesn't seem very loving to me. JMO

 

[DISNEYFOS]

I agree with the other posters that said stop the laying on the floor thing.

Not sure where it came from but I heard a quote "start as you intend to go on" I try to go by this as much as possible. My daughter was 2.5 when we converted her crib to a toddler bed. Same bedtime routine of reading books, singing lulaby and then nightnight. I'd say it took about a week or two of just putting her back in bed. "No, its time for bed now" "Get back in your bed, please" I think we also used bribery, every night she stayed in bed until morning, she got a check mark on her chart. If she did it all week she could get a prize at the store.

Now, once we put her to bed after the bedtime ritual, she looks at her books until she falls asleep.

 

[drivencrazy]

How are things working out??

I am almost wondering if it is easier to move them to a big bed sooner rather than later.... I have 4 kido's all in big beds now, but we moved them all at a rather young age...

#1 was put in a big bed at 14 months (we stayed out of state for a few months w/daddy as he was in tech school for the Air Force.) They offered a ratty old crib for us to use, we went w/ the new queen size bed instead. She did great.

#2 was climbing out of her crib by the time she was one...... didn't want anything to happen being on tile floors so we put her in a big bed right around the time she was one. Never had any problems.

#3 he probably would have stayed in a crib for as long as we would have let him... but my mom bought (and paid way to much) for the toddler size race car bed. He was a pretty big boy (really tall for his age) and I was worried he wouldn't get to use the race car bed long at all... so around 14 months we put him in the race car bed, then around 2 he went to a twin bed.

#4... she just turned 2 in December. We had some friends that were in need of a crib so I pulled her out a bit sooner than I would have probably, but she was like 18 months. She has always been a good sleeper (6-8 hours when we first brought her home!) so I didn't want to mess with a good thing... again no problems. Just a few nights ago she did come into our room and ask if she could get up. It was like 1 am so I said No and that she needed to go back to bed. She did!

But I feel for you, my friend is having the hardest time with her little one and she is at a loss of what to do. So I have been reading and filling her in on ideas. She moved her almost 3 year old to a big bed and she isn't wanting anything to do with it! They went and bought new sheets... and nothing is working.

What can you do, they are all so different!

Good Luck!

 

[Minnie824]

My DD just turned 3 and has been in a twin bed since 2.5 yrs old. The first night in her bed she was fine. After the second night, she was wandering around in the am. After the third night, she went and woke her sister up in the morning. That night we put a gate at her doorway with the door left open. I told her it would stay there unless she stayed in her bed. This lasted about a week. She REALLY did not like the gate. After that week, we've never had to use the gate and she doesn't move out of her bed at all. Just stick with whatever you do and don't give in to just one time of laying on the floor or whatever.

 

[brymolmom]

I moved my kids out of a crib at 15 mos. because I was afraid they'd climb over the crib rails and get hurt. I never left them alone while they were still awake though. I always read and sang to them until they fell asleep, even when they were still in the crib, so we continued it when they moved into the toddler bed. They were usually asleep within 10-15 minutes, which was a lot less work and pain for both of us than taking them back to their bed umpteen times and leaving them in silence. Sorry, but that doesn't seem very loving to me. JMO

I'm interested in knowing with this method...how old were they when you were able to stop doing this (ie: when you were able to send them to bed without being asleep before you left the room).

I do think it's a little harsh to say that parents who choose the alternative aren't very loving...but I am interested in new approaches and how this one ended up working for you. DId you have to stay with them for a month, a year, do you still go to bed with them until they are asleep?

 

[jcc0621]

Actually all, WE DID IT! DS threw me and DH out of his room the other night when the lights went out and hasn't asked us to stay since......We started leaving him a few minutes at a time by himself (had to get something, etc). I guess he realized he was okay and kicked us out. It think this may be the only time I will ever be happy about him telling me to GET OUT!

Thank you all for your responses and support. It is much appreciated