OT - Mom of DD(2) HOW DO I GET HER BACK IN HER OWN BED?

[Hoopfamily]

We had the same problem when we moved to a new place. We put a pack & play at the foot of the bed and let her sleep there for about 2 weeks, then made the transition to her room. got her out of our bed and seemed to work well for us.

 

[Quincy]

I know it's a long process. My dd has always slept with us, I was so paranoid when she was born. She is now 6 and she sleeps in her room half the night. I take anything. I never believed in forcing her to do it. I also could not deal with the crying. Also my husband never cared and thought she won't want to be with us forever. Her lovey item was my arm, so nothing I could buy her worked. We started spending a lot of time in her room during the day and sadly put a little tv in her room for her to watch a movie at night. (with time restictions) Most of the time she would fall asleep watching the movie. If she doesn't, then I sit at the end of the bed until she's asleep. This all just started really working this school year. It's a process. My son has picked up on the fact that she is in our room and has been wanting to sleep in there too. If all else fails then we wait until they are really asleep and move them. We usually get a few hours with out them, sometimes longer. I just keep hoping at some point it will be all night. I think there are some people out there who really don't mind and then others who are so against it, and let you know. Either way I feel to each his own. Everyone I know with kids has had them in their bed at some point, most of them not as long as me. We are moving in the right direction. Good Luck!

 

[susancl]

Healthy sleep habits happy child is a wonderful book!

Yes, this is a great book!!!!

 

[loriandmatt]

i am probably in the minority here, but i never had either of my children in my bed with DH and myself. my grandmother smothered one of her babies that way. she was a very heavy sleeper apparently. DH always has been as well and i just never wanted to risk it.

having that happen so close to home, i just never even considered it. when DS (who is now 11) and DD (who is now 2yr and 3 months - so i can relate to the age of the DD of the OP) are/were sick of had a bad dream. DH or myself would comfort the kids in their room and then leave once they were calmed down or back asleep. if they were sick and we wanted to keep an eye/ear on them we used the video and audio baby monitor. this did mean for many a sleep deprived night for one or both of us. we both work full time outside the home too, so we both had to be up at 6 for a full day at high stress jobs.

the end result is two kids who can't/don't want to sleep in anything but their own beds.

great for the 90% of the time that we are at home. but a bummer on vacation when we would rather not have to lug along a portable crib for the 2 year old. We used to camp in our camper alot, but have been unsuccessful in getting her to sleep in the camper without her crib.

we are giving it another shot (sans porta crib) later this month. here's to hoping that she is just darn tired enough at the end of the day to lay down with me and go to sleep in that camper bed.

 

[disney-super-mom]

We had this problem with our oldest. So we took it one step at a time and this is what we did.

First and foremost, you need to get her out of your bedroom and into HER OWN bedroom. She must become comfortable with the surroundings of her bedroom, and by having her sleep in your room, even if it's on the floor, it will never happen. Have her sleep in her toddler bed, and you or your DH sleep in the twin, in her room. That way she won't be alone while getting used to her room and sleeping in her room. You may have to sleep in her room for quite a while for her to be comfortable on her own, but at least she's in HER ROOM and in HER OWN BED. That's the most important thing here. Eventually, she'll be comfortable enough to be in there on her own.

Now, our son had a horrible time falling asleep no matter what we did. Finally we found something that worked - watching a video/DVD. Now, I know that many parents disagree with letting children fall asleep to a video, or even to allow a TV in a child's room, but let me tell you, it worked like a charm. We'd put in one of his favorite videos, and within 10-15 minutes, he was out like a light! It still works to this day, and he's now 7. The reason we gave in and allowed it is because one, it gave him something to look forward to when going to bed, and two, watching a video relaxes him. He's not laying there in the dark wondering about what the shadow on the wall is, or what the squeaky noise outside the window is, or if there's monters under the bed, or if that kid at school is going to bite him again, etc... It's easy for us adults to read a book until we're sleepy, but for kids who don't read...well, you see what I mean.

And of course, once the child is asleep, and the TV is off, it's always nice to have a nightlight.

Anyway, that's what we did to get our DS out of our bed and into his own bed, in his own room. It was pretty painless, and it worked, for us anyway.

Good luck with this no matter what you decide to do.

 

[badblackpug]

loriandmatt: You and I are in the same minority. I have never allowed the kids to sleep in our bed. Once your baby gets used to sleeping in a bed, not a crib, vacations will be easier. I think I read somewhere you can rent or borrow bed rails?

The closest I have come is a "rainy day" thing where I let the kids pile in the bed in the afternoon to watch a video. (they love the huge king-size, with lots of pillows)

I am the mean mama. I do not allow TV's in the kids rooms. I am of the mindset that the TV will dull their creativity, I would prefer the kids play with toys and etc. rather than watch the box. Now don't get me wrong, they watch TV, but in the family room, where we can more closely monitor the programming and the amount watched. (that is where the family computer and video games are, too) I may relent on the TV in the room thing once they are teens, but I will think about that later.

As far as the reading thing goes. Each night we read to the ones who can't read yet. For those that can read...they can "stay up" an extra half hour to read in bed. A great way to encourage reading (our school requires each child to keep a reading log, signed by a parent. They have to have 20 mins. of independant reading a day)

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Honestly- as long as everybody is getting sleep I say bring them in bed with you. I do not believe in crying it out. Some kids will sleep with no problem in their own beds while others just don't. I do however believe in routine. That is something that has always worked for us. You will find out what works for you, but keep in mind that I am sure you don't know any adults still crying to sleep with Mommy! I wish you many nights of peaceful sleep!

 

[Love the Mouse]

Well...last night was the first of many I hope. She FINALLY slept in her bed, along with mommy of course. She slept really well for the first 4 hours or so. Then when we went upstairs to bed, all of the sudden the "mommy" started. I went in and slept with her for most of the night and she slept till 7am.

Each time she got up and I wasn't there, she just said, "come momma" and climbed right back in bed, as long as I was right behind her.

We do have a routine each night and we keep to it (except on vacation at Disney) but that is only a couple of times a year.

I just hope that last night was the start of something good. We made sure to praise her big time this morning and she also got a balloon to celebrate for sleeping in her room.

I was surprised that she slept in there at all. She didn't want to go to sleep at all (in my bed or hers). She fell asleep in my arms (after crying herself to exhaustion) and I just carried her into her room and into bed. My big surprise was that she actually stayed in there all night.

As far as the TV in the room, I am against it as well, but I seriously considered it in the last couple of days. I just want her to be comfortable in her bedroom and want to be in there when it comes time for bed.

Here's to another night in her own room.

Michaela

 

[Pirate&Princess]

Hate the lock idea!!
DD's are 5 & 8 and they both slept in our bed at one time much to the dismay of mother-in-law's who told me they would be in my bed until they were adults!!

If she has a toddler bed and you have a twin mattress than you are already set up for what we did!

When I was pregnant with my 2nd we knew we had to get the 1st outta there! (2 1/2 at the time). The twin mattress was made up like a bed and put on the floor next to her and she considered it "permanent" so didn't think I was leaving. Those are some of my best memories, because during those nights, we made up her very own bedtime story titled "Princess Bailey" (her name). We added onto everynight, she loved and would fall asleep as I told it over and over, sometimes adding variations!

I would leave once she was asleep and if she came to our room in the middle of the night, no matter how tired I was, I got up and went back to the mattress. Each night, she stayed asleep a little longer! By the time her sister was born, she asked if the crib could be in her room instead of the nursery. We now have a 2500 sq ft house with two guest rooms, because my daughters still love sharing a room. They picked out their twin beds and their Lizzie McGuire bedroom stuff. They consider it truly their room.

Gentle, loving and nurturing will make it more pleasant for all, and a fond memory, not a traumatic one. I didn't care how long it took, I wasn't locking her in or letting her scream out for a few weeks! Too me, it was about her well being, not ours!!

 

[lovetheworld]

Well...last night was the first of many I hope. She FINALLY slept in her bed, along with mommy of course. She slept really well for the first 4 hours or so. Then when we went upstairs to bed, all of the sudden the "mommy" started. I went in and slept with her for most of the night and she slept till 7am.

Each time she got up and I wasn't there, she just said, "come momma" and climbed right back in bed, as long as I was right behind her.

We do have a routine each night and we keep to it (except on vacation at Disney) but that is only a couple of times a year.

I just hope that last night was the start of something good. We made sure to praise her big time this morning and she also got a balloon to celebrate for sleeping in her room.

I was surprised that she slept in there at all. She didn't want to go to sleep at all (in my bed or hers). She fell asleep in my arms (after crying herself to exhaustion) and I just carried her into her room and into bed. My big surprise was that she actually stayed in there all night.

As far as the TV in the room, I am against it as well, but I seriously considered it in the last couple of days. I just want her to be comfortable in her bedroom and want to be in there when it comes time for bed.

Here's to another night in her own room.

Michaela

I am not for the TV but how about some music? Even my 4 year old reminds me if I forget to turn on the "night night music". This is also great for vacation...my husband has the "night night music" on is iPOD. It is familar and soothing. I have the Disney Lulabye music and the Disney Princess Lulabye- She may like this as it is all the slow princess songs. I have had the music playing in there rooms since the day they came home from the hospital...they have never stayed in our room. I know that this is a challenge and must take a lot out of you at the end of the day....hope this will help you out! From one Jersey Girl to another....I am just 10 min down the road!

 

[MSSANDRA]

The music thing brought back a funny memory from when DS was a baby. He was premature and spent 3 mo in ICU.We kept a soothing tape player (DS is 14 so no CD's) in his bed. The nurses played it 24/7 as it kept him so relaxed. Fast foward to his comming home. We leaned real fast that the tape lasted exactly 23 minutes and then clicked off. It clicked and he would scream. Forgot they are awake 24/7 in the ICU. it took us about a week to wean him off his music!!! I am for what ever works as I am the one that had a child that nothing worked on!!!!

 

[tanyaandallie]

Hopefully things will continue to go well for you and your little one. If not, I'd try again in a few months. If everyone is getting sleep in your bed and she is really struggling to sleep alone, I'd move her back in with you. I have a good friend who has been co-sleeping with her dd since birth. Her dd is now a few weeks shy of 3 years old and is transitioning to her own bed. They have tried a few times in the past it's been unsuccessful. This time it seems to be going great. It may be that your little one is just not ready.

 

[badblackpug]

The music thing is great *showing my age* My parents used to let us load like 5 45's onto the record player to listen to while falling asleep. I think some nice, soft, soothing classical would really do the trick.

.....and a true Jersey Girl would have mentioned what turnpike exit she lived off of! If she could remember, what with all the brain damage from the fumes from Aqua Net white can, used to style her "big hair" in the '80's!

 

[kaysmommie]

My DD is 2 years 4 mos. and has been sleeping in our bed for a little while now. When she started climbing out of her crib, we converted her crib into the toddler bed. Unfortunately the bed rail that I bought didn't fit onto the crib/toddler bed, and she fell out. I think that really scared her. So, we went out and bought her a toddler bed with the rails on the bed. She has slept in it once since we bought it and I can't seem to get her back into her room.

Now we have purchased a twin size mattress, hoping to entice her into the "big girl" bed, and I thought I had her last night and then a no go.

I tried "The Nanny" approach of kissing her goodnight, tucking her in and walking out of the room. If she got up (which she did), I took her back in and right back to bed. I did this about 12 times and finally didn't know what else to do with my DD...screaming and shaking uncontrollably, crying and clinging onto me for dear life.

I try to get her to nap in her room, but she is unconcerned about naps...to her they seem to be a waste of time. Trying to get her to take one is a chore in itself. If she does take one she is up all night, and when she doesn't she is asleep by 7:30pm.

Any suggestions? We have a king size bed, but it's getting crowded with her in it. DH and I are at a loss and have no idea where to go from here.

Please help if you have gone through this, going through this, any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

She also just kicked the bottle 2 weeks ago, but doesn't seem very bothered by it. She hasn't even brought it up of even asked for it.

Michaela

I haven't read the other posts yet but MY DD did this and we let her sleep with us. Now she is 6 and still comes into our bed during the night or won't even sleep in her bed at all. It is very squishy and MY DH want our life back! I don't know what to do. sHe says our rooms are too far away
(split bedrooms) but we have and alarm and I even had it out on my kids bedroom windows. DS2 sleeps in his crib but sometimes cries for us at night. I think I have to put my foot down but don't want to break her heart as she likes to cuddle with mom and read books in bed. We are alos thinking of moving DS into a Cars bed in a month or 2. In other countries little kids lseep with their mom's, that's just how it is. Here we expect the kids to be independent. Good luck and I'm going back to read some suggestions.

 

[100AcreWood]

Wow, my hats off to you for struggling with a 6 year old!

Our 4 year old dd has been waking up in the middle of the night for several months now. We finally put an inflatable mattress in our room and she is only allowed to sleep on that - not with us anymore. We explained she was getting so big there wasn't enough room. She was fine with the "special bed." Now this week we started implementing new rules. When she calls we'll go and sit with her until she falls back to asleep but no coming into our room anymore. For some families co-sleeping works but not for us (not being judgemental here).

We're seeing progress slowly but it's been a tough week with lots of interrupted sleep. She woke up three times last night for example. I'm hoping we're on our way to returning her sleep patterns back to normal. Good luck to everyone! At least this is a common occurence!

 

[100AcreWood]

I'm still in the trial and error process but one thing I read is explaining to an older child that everyone in the family needs a good night sleep and how sleep is important to us (health reasons, able to think, energy to play, etc.).

We also put up a sticker chart and if dd fills up the chart she gets to go to the build a bear store this weekend. She is excited at the idea so we'll see how it goes!

Good luck!

 

[jlsDisney]

We had this same problem. My dd almost always slept in our bed from the time we brought her home. By the time she was 22 months she was crawling out of her crib. I was nearly 9 months pregnant at the time and we just couldn't deal with her crying. It was killing me to hear her cry and I was already feeling guilty about having to divide time with a new baby and her. So, we tried sleeping on her floor for a week or two - that didn't work. Then we just brought her into our bed - for the next year. I do not recommend this. By the time we finally got around to forcing her into her own bed she was 3. The way we did it - bribery. Awful I know. We had begun by talking to her about sleeping in her big girl bed for a week or so, then one night she was asking to stop at the ice cream stand. I told her she could get ice cream if she promised to stay in her big girl bed all night. She promised and we kept her to it. When the time came, no she didn't want to do it. But we made her and, surprisingly she didn't cry that long. She did get up and we put her back.

The next night, I told her she would get a surprise if she slept in her big girl bed. She didn't want to, but again, we forced her. The next morning I let her pick out a new stuffed animal from a bag I keep. Each evening it got easier. I let her pick out one more stuffed animal, but that was it.

She is now 4 and still wakes in the middle of the night and tries to sneak into our bed. We still have to make her go to her own bed, which she does without a fuss. Sometimes, though, she's so sneaky and quite she doesn't wake either of us and manages to sleep in our bed anyway. It's cute and we don't really mind.

Incidentally, we learned from our mistake. The new baby, who is now 2, never slept in our bed. Has no bedtime issues at all and wouldn't even consider sleeping with us. She's much better than her sister about this and it has to have stemmed from us allowing the older child to sleep with us from the beginning.

 

[Robmom]

I'm glad she finally stayed in bed. My DS is 18 months. He slept all night in his crib at 2 months. He was such an easy baby. Then at 13 months, he got sick and I made the big mistake of bringing him into bed with me. It was the only way for him to sleep. I put him back in his crib and he was fine for 2 weeks. Then he decided he would rather be with me and would cry every night. I tried to let him cry it out for a few nights, but I couldn't take it anymore. My pediatrician scolded me and told me I have to get him out of it. I finally gave up and let him sleep with me. I can't move him when he's sleeping because he always wakes up. I'm hoping when he's a little older I can get him back in his room.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

My pediatrician scolded me and told me I have to get him out of it.

I am sorry but this drives me insane!!! Let me say that I don't care if you co-sleep or not. The thing that makes me so mad is when people and pediatricians especially scold a Mom for letting their kids sleep in bed with them. There is no harm in letting a child sleep in bed with their parents. It's not like they are going to be 20 cuddling in between Mom and Dad! It's like they want to tell you what to do because THEY don't like it. Well- how are the sleeping arrangements in my house affecting anyone but us? If my kids need to snuggle with me to get a good night's sleep and I get to sleep as well then so be it. I hate when Peds try to make you out to be a bad parent for that. Um excuse me- the Ped will not be up all night with my kids! I am not telling anyone what to do as it is a personal choice, but I just find it annoying when they try to make you feel bad for doing something that works for your family. Sorry to hijack but I couldn't help myself. Parents need support not scoldings.

 

[jodifla]

I am sorry but this drives me insane!!! Let me say that I don't care if you co-sleep or not. The thing that makes me so mad is when people and pediatricians especially scold a Mom for letting their kids sleep in bed with them. There is no harm in letting a child sleep in bed with their parents. It's not like they are going to be 20 cuddling in between Mom and Dad! It's like they want to tell you what to do because THEY don't like it. Well- how are the sleeping arrangements in my house affecting anyone but us? If my kids need to snuggle with me to get a good night's sleep and I get to sleep as well then so be it. I hate when Peds try to make you out to be a bad parent for that. Um excuse me- the Ped will not be up all night with my kids! I am not telling anyone what to do as it is a personal choice, but I just find it annoying when they try to make you feel bad for doing something that works for your family. Sorry to hijack but I couldn't help myself. Parents need support not scoldings.

But there are 8 and 9 year olds sleeping in bed with their folks. Fine if you want that, but as you can see, many people don't care for it. What was cute as a baby gets bone-tiring when they are a thrashing about preschooler or older.

I agree that it's easiest to never start co-sleeping if you don't want to do it for a really long time. As I stated earlier, we started it for a bit after we moved when DS was 3. Or should I say, DH started it, and a couple weeks later he was really sorry. It was a rough week or so, but being consistent helps, and laying down with them in their bed is far superior to keeping them in your bed. At least that way, one parent gets a decent night sleep.