OT Kids and internet

[DevilDuckie]

(Note: Some of you know what prompted this post. There is no need to get into that specific mess.)


Do your kids get internet access?
How carefully do you monitor them?
How old are they?
Do you use filters, censors or "whitelists"?



Curious about what sorts of limits people set- my kid is 10 and we're starting to need to make these sorts of decisions.

 

[canadianmom2three]

Well, my DS was 10 when he found his first xxx rated site. Let me preface that by saying he has absolutely no interest in girls, but he and a friend were being silly and decided it would be funny to type in b**bs and lo and behold, DH walked in to check on them and found them in front of absolute pornography. We went back through the history of that incident, and they had been typing in all kinds of dumb things, and apparently that was the first x rated site they had come across, so thankfully they didn't see that much, but what they did see was absolutely inappropriate in every way, and led to a big discussion, not only of internet limits, but of sexuality in general.......WAAAAY more than we thought we'd be discussing with a 10yo. We were always so worried about him not giong to violent sites, didn't think we really needed to worry about x-rated sites. That said, we still don't use a censor program or anything, the main computer came with a program that limits the kids sites they can visit, in terms of violence or explicit content, but the laptop doesn't so we have had big and numerous discussion about what sites are appropriate and why, and DH and I look through the history, and see what sites the kids have been at. We have moved the downstairs computer up a level, and no laptop in the bedroom when friends are over. I check in much more frequently when he is on the computer, especially when he has friends over. He has not been back to any sites of the x-rated variety, but it is a struggle to keep limits on all those gaming sites that seem to promote mindless violence, which we try to limit pretty strictly. Also we try to limit the sheer amount of time he spends on it, he used to wake up really early, like 5 a.m. to use the computer, and now he is not allowed it in the a.m. before school, I put passlock on the laptop, and DH set the main computer to deny the kids access in the weekday a.m.'s and we try to limit it after school to 1 hour or less, actually he times out on the main computer at 55 minutes, so I catch him trying to sneak onto the laptop sometimes.... Our other kids are 8 and 5, and they aren't really into the computer beyond occasional use for webkins for the 8yo and fisher price online games for the 5yo.

 

[Aliceacc]

Both of our computers are located in the basement, and for now both of the older kids are afraid to be down here alone. (My youngest knows no fear, but can't spell yet )

So for the time being we don't need filters, I can see the screen on the other computer from my seat here.

Their favorite sites are webkinz, club penguin, and some Disney dress up thing whose name escapes me at the moment. (edited to add: here it is: http://www.stardoll.com/en/dolls/590/Miley_Cyrus_2.html)

 

[Tam1067]

No electronic media (computers, video games, TV) during the week. On weekend, we limit depending on what's going on. I find that my kids don't go on there unless they have permission, so there's no need to lock or anything. I also limit them to acceptable sites. Our computer is in a public part of the house--not in the kids' rooms because I fear that if the kids had them in their rooms, there would be way too much room for trouble.

 

[holly7347]

My 5 year old gets on the computer to play Nick Jr. and PBS Kids games. We don't have any filters or programs on our computer to limit her access. But she can't read or type so I think we are ok for now. Our computer is wide open in the family room. Generally I'm in the room playing with DD#2, or doing laundry (right off the family room). But ocassionally I do go upstairs to start a meal or something.

 

[Mickeyherewecome123]

My boys are 4 and the only website they go on is PBSsprout.com. I have it set up in the favorites section of the computer,, so they know how to get onto it and play. I would say about 20-30 a day playing on the computer. There is no filter on the computer.

 

[graygables]

My girls (12 & 9) have a laptop and a desktop, but the laptop has to stay in the main living areas. They are homeschooled using a computer program, so they spend up to 2 hours per day just on school work. They spend a LOT of time on VMK at the moment (grieving its demise) and quite a bit of time on Webkinz. We have parental controls in place and they know they are not permitted to Google without supervision. They actually google quite a bit to learn about animals, but for the most part, stick with what they know. They have bookmarked websites they are allowed to visit (so no typing in web addresses). We check history frequently, but have yet to have a need to. Both of my girls have been allowed to be children for longer than most, so we haven't had the peer pressure that many do when it comes to internet. They know about MySpace and know that it's an "over my dead body".

We don't limit their time, but that's b/c they seem to find a natural balance of outside play, inside play, reading, school, computer, but since we're home all day, we have that luxury.

 

[Keara'sMom]

Well, my DS was 10 when he found his first xxx rated site.

We had a similar experience with our dd (now 11 but then 9)--curiosity led to some interesting viewing (nothing horrifying, but...). She was seriously restricted from online activity after that and had to earn that priviledge back. At this point, she has email with a good spam filter, and she goes on some "mom-approved" websites, such as webkinz, millsbury, and build-a-bearville (only on safe chat, though). I monitor her use pretty closely, and her time is limited. If she wants to search for something, I sit with her while she does so, although I really wouldn't have to anymore. Frankly, she prefers to play computer games that don't require internet, such as zoo tycoon, etc...

I have to say that I HATE chat sites for kids--scares me!!

 

[runwad]

I'm going thru this with my DD12. She has played all the kids sites in the past that have been previously mentioned on here. But now she asked if she can do Instant Messaging on AOL with her friends. I've set up the parental controls so that I get an activity report after she's off and it tells me how many emails and instant messages she's got and any sites she visits. She is also only allowed to visit age appropriate sites and is blocked from all others. Time hasn't been an issue because she doesn't have a lot of it w/school work and sports. But in the summer when she is home I will put a time limit on it and it will kick her off after said time. I'm thinking an hour. We use my work laptop and I love it...it won't let us download anything so no worries there. Kids want us to get a computer but I don't want to for this reason. I like that we can't do a lot on this laptop. Unfortunetely technology is going to be a part of her life, and I realize I have to let her use it and teach her the right way instead of just blocking her from everything. She's a pretty responsible and level headed kid but honestly I still don't like it. Oh and as it is now she thinks that on the activity reports it lists her emails and instant messages so I'll just let her go on thinking that for as long as I can. Figure it'll help keep her nose clean

 

[Stephres]

We have my computer in the kitchen so if the kids are on it (age 5 & 8) I am right there or in and out. The 5 year old uses to mostly to play games on Playhouse Disney but the older one has some different sites he likes to go on (mostly educational sites he gets from school). He does like to watch the line drawing animations on youtube and we have discussed that a lot of the stuff on there is not appropriate. I am right there with him when he is on that site.

 

[Liljam]

(Note: Some of you know what prompted this post. There is no need to get into that specific mess.)


Do your kids get internet access?
How carefully do you monitor them?
How old are they?
Do you use filters, censors or "whitelists"?



Curious about what sorts of limits people set- my kid is 10 and we're starting to need to make these sorts of decisions.

In order of questions asked:
yes

My son has been getting online since he was about 6 years old and from that time, I discussed many things with him and set guidelines for him. I have always educated him on many things we deal with in society and he has (luckily) done well. As for actually monitoring him - as he aged, I allowed him to be more in control of things. At first I had to assist him in learning how to get around. He's 13 now and plays online games, uses myspace and surfs on his own with his own laptop. He IS a very well rounded and mature kid and he is very much trusted, but he also knows that his parents are open minded as well.

He's 13 now

Nope, no filters or anything.

As for my newborn son, I plan to do the same with him. That all said though, I believe in doing what is best for the child and if my son was shy to talk to us, or if he was easily influenced or if he was comfortable with strangers, I would take different steps because protecting my child is the number one priority.

PS. I didn't read all of the other posts, and if I had and someone was on the other end of the spectrum, I wouldn't flame them so I expect no one will judge my more liberal and free style of parenting either! Peace!

 

[Kcross3625]

We have parental controls set up for DD10 thru AOL. She is only allowed to visit websites who addresses I have typed into the system (right now it is Club Penguin, Webkinz & VMK) I also get an activity report each day she is on the computer. If she has a school related project that she needs to research, then I will log onto my screen name and sit with her while she does her work. I honestly don't think she would purposely type in something "X-rated" but how many of us have clicked on a link, then clicked on another link and gotten to a page that is not where we wanted to be ? I think that is fairly common. Or typed in something that we thought was innocent and realized after the search results pop up that our words can have other meanings? I once did a search for Dick's Sporting Goods to find the nearest location and forgot to type in the "Sporting Goods" part. OOPS!

Kim

 

[dougsmom98]

All of my kids use the Internet. They are 2, 7, 7 and 9. I have been thinking that I might want to put on some parental controls. My boys use the Internet a lot to watch shows, play games, and search for things about their characters. They do go to You Tube and I know there can be some questionable stuff on that site. I think they might end up on something bad by accident. The computer is in the open and we can see what they are doing.

 

[Momvic5]

I have 3 children (6, 8, and 12yrs), and we have internet access. We had an incident happen several years ago that took my son to an x-rated site. He was trying to do a search on the population of men to women for history, and in the process, he went to a x-rated site. He did not see anything so horrible, but what he did see scared him. He came immediately and told my husband and me that something ugly was on the computer. At that time, the computer was in our school room (a back bedroom). The very next day, I re-arranged and the computer is now in our front room which is part of our living room.

I try to monitor my kids' usage of the computer, but it is almost impossible to watch everything. My younger two are not on the computer very much, and they have specific sites they go to, but my oldest is getting older and he is very computer smart and will often try to search a topic. He is not allowed to search a topic without my approval, but even with my approval and supervision, unexpected "things can pop up.

We decided the best thing for our computer was a filter. I purchased a yearly plan through Bsafe Online. It blocks sites that are R and X -rated and any site that is not rated. It also allows you to track all the sites that were visited on your computer, and they can not be deleted. If you have the password, you can override the block, but the site will still be documented. You can also set time limits as to when the internet will be accessable. It offers many options and can be set up to suit the needs of your family. Honestly, it is a pain for my husband and myself because we have to use the password override frequently, but for the safety of our family, it is worth it.

 

[ColleenG]

Our older two kids (6 and 4) use the computer rather frequently. My DH is very computer savy and has their computer set up so they just click on an icon to get to the site they want to go on. Pretty much all they go on is Webkinz, Disney, PBS Kids, and NickJr/Noggin. We have the computer in the family room so we can easily see what they are doing. DD (6) is in kindergarten and has a computer class once a week. Most of the work they do is online. So she is allowed to go to those websites. She is just starting to read so I'm sure soon we will have to start watching a little closer what she does. We have already agreed that there will be no computers in their bedrooms, only in public areas of the house. If I have to have a row of 4 computers set up then that is what we will do.

They don't even know what MySpace is, but my feeling is there is no way (over my dead body also) they will ever be allowed to use that site. I have never heard of anything beneficial to come of that site. It sounds like it's free riegn for pedophiles.

As of yet we don't have any filters but as the kids get older and more savy we will install them as well as explain to the kids that for all the good the internet has to offer, there is a lot of bad and scary stuff. I think the most important things are to talk to your kids about the dangers of the internet. If you wouldn't talk to a stranger in public, don't talk to them online because more than likely they are not who they say they are. And also as a parent keep a watchful eye and check where your kids are going online.

My biggest fear is that I can't keep up with the technology as fast as the kids can. Luckily my DH is up on all the latest stuff so he can hopefully keep me updated on the newest technology.

 

[Tammysue5]

No electronic media (computers, video games, TV) during the week. On weekend, we limit depending on what's going on. I find that my kids don't go on there unless they have permission, so there's no need to lock or anything. I also limit them to acceptable sites. Our computer is in a public part of the house--not in the kids' rooms because I fear that if the kids had them in their rooms, there would be way too much room for trouble.

We do the same... DD6, DD9, DS17, DS19... The girls pretty much stay to Disney,,,Webkinz, Things like that. DD9 took a computer safety class (free) at the library... it was great. She knows that at anytime something can pop up and she comes to tell us immediately. (I have no filters at this time as I have not had the opportunity to need them. The computer is in an open area, they know that I am frequently checking to "see how its going" and will look at history. Our house runs with the idea that if I need to use filters I will but until you give me a reason to distrust,,, we will keep it the way it is. Please do not get me wrong..... Every parent has to do what is right for their kids. We are the parents and must protect our little ones from those who are not so nice. So, do what you must to keep them safe.

 

[thegrimdwarf]

DevilDuckie, I'm developing a crush on you .

Our one computer is centrally located in the living room. I can see it from my kitchen and the family room. My 4 year old is allowed to play on a handful of sites - Nick Jr., PBS Kids, Disney, Noggin and one other that I can't recall right now. He's currently only interested in playing the arcade-style games, so if he happens to navigate away from them, a whole bunch of drama ensues until I return him to "his" site of choice.

Now, in a few years (or, at the rate he's going, a few months), when he becomes savvy enough to surf the web and inclined to do so, we'll definitely be locking down the system to keep him off of sites that allow him to interact with another person. Period.

 

[JaimeinWonderland]

Thank goodness none of my boys use the internet yet! When the time comes I don't think I will let them use the computer unless we are in the same room. I'm very paranoid!

 

[Momvic5]

My biggest fear is that I can't keep up with the technology as fast as the kids can. Luckily my DH is up on all the latest stuff so he can hopefully keep me updated on the newest technology.

I am in the same boat. It seems that kids these days are very computer savy. When I am having problems with the computer or internet, my son who just turned 12 will come in and help me. He is like his father ~ very mechanical and technical minded. A friend of mine has a 16 year old son, and she is a single mom. There is about 3 hours that he is home alone before she gets home from work. She felt pretty good about her son using the computer after school. She routinely checked his history and believed he was being very responsible. Come to find out, he was more computer savy than she knew, and he had been visiting "unapproved" sites and chatting with adults. He knew how to delete his history!! She was totally mortified!


What is scary about the computer is that so many things can be brought into your house with the touch of a key. I was looking for a recipe by Racheal Ray with my son when pictures of nude cooks appeared as a site option. I couldn't believe it. I was fuming because we were just looking for her morning show web site to get a recipe. My husband said that what we stumbled upon was like bait. It baits you into certain sites. It was at that point that I knew we had to have a filter. It is not a cure all, but it gives me the security to know that unless my kids are visiting appropriate and approved sites, they will have to seek me, my judgement, and my password before they will be allowed to visit uncertain sites. It has helped prevent "baiting" and accidental exposure to inappropriate sites.

 

[DevilDuckie]

My husband said that what we stumbled upon was like bait. It baits you into certain sites. It was at that point that I knew we had to have a filter. It is not a cure all, but it gives me the security to know that unless my kids are visiting appropriate and approved sites, they will have to seek me, my judgement, and my password before they will be allowed to visit uncertain sites. It has helped prevent "baiting" and accidental exposure to inappropriate sites.

Sometime when your kids are not around, go look at whitehouse dot org. It is NOT the official site (thats dot gov) and is a prime example of baiting. (It is not porn but is political satire whith profanity, etc. Not where you want a kid looking for info for a school project.)