OT - Is this ok? New neighbor kids...

[FlightlessDuck]

I dunno.

Maybe the 15 year old wants to be a teacher or something when she grows up. Maybe she had nieces that age she used to hang out with before she moved, or used to babysit kids that age.

Like someone else said, you should invite the whole family over for dinner or dessert or something. Get to know everyone a little. Maybe ask the parents about why the 15 year old wants to hang out with your little ones (but don't do it in a way that would make them defensive...).

 

[tmarquez]

Thank you everyone!

I've read all your posts ad thought about the situation a lot. I don't think she is doing anything "bad". I just find it odd that she would want to play with them (only because when I was her age I would have much rather sat in my room listening to music or something).

I'm sure it is very hard for her being new and not knowing anyone. There are no teens in our neighborhood...just younger kids. I'm sure she is mad they moved...who wouldn't be. She is a shy, quiet kid and seems a little immature for her age. But she is a nice and polite kid.

I probably won't be inviting her parents over. I met her step-father and he was really not a "warm" person at all...never met the mom. They do not allow the neighborhood kids to play inside of their house...so whatever.

I think I felt weird because when I was in 2nd grade my mom hired a teenage girl from our neighborhood to babysit me. The girl offered me pot. I asked her what it would do to me. She said it would "make all the blood rush to my head", which sounded very scary...so I didn't do it. Instead I helped her open all the windows to air out the house before my parents got home.

Anyway, I had a talk with all the kids yesterday to make sure everyone was aware of the house rules.

 

[mickeylove2]

I don't see anything wrong with it. My DDs are almost 9 & 7 and there is a girl,14, who lives across the street from my old house and she used to play with my girls all the time. I loved it, she loved it, my girls loved it. She would do little crafty things with them, beading, iron on kits, tye dying shirts that kind of stuff. They would play video games together, ride bikes, swing- anything really, she helped them with their homework or girl scout projects. I miss her and so do my girls. I almost looked at it as free babysitting, I didn't have to worry about what they were getting into, or where they were or who was around them. Her stepdad is a police detective and her mom is a good friend of mine so I had no worries when my girls were with her. It was nice that I could focus on my school work and know that my girls were in good hands and having fun.

 

[mickeylove2]

Thank you everyone!

I've read all your posts ad thought about the situation a lot. I don't think she is doing anything "bad". I just find it odd that she would want to play with them (only because when I was her age I would have much rather sat in my room listening to music or something).

I'm sure it is very hard for her being new and not knowing anyone. There are no teens in our neighborhood...just younger kids. I'm sure she is mad they moved...who wouldn't be. She is a shy, quiet kid and seems a little immature for her age. But she is a nice and polite kid.

I probably won't be inviting her parents over. I met her step-father and he was really not a "warm" person at all...never met the mom. They do not allow the neighborhood kids to play inside of their house...so whatever.

I think I felt weird because when I was in 2nd grade my mom hired a teenage girl from our neighborhood to babysit me. The girl offered me pot. I asked her what it would do to me. She said it would "make all the blood rush to my head", which sounded very scary...so I didn't do it. Instead I helped her open all the windows to air out the house before my parents got home.

Anyway, I had a talk with all the kids yesterday to make sure everyone was aware of the house rules.

I do not allow any kids in my house unless I know the parents really well. You don't really know what could be said by these kids or their parents. Just the same, I don't let my kids in other people's houses unless I know the parents well. I would not be offended if my kid was not allowed in their house.

A little story about my reasons for this. A few years ago, I knew someone who went through a huge legal battle. He was 18 or 19 and was outside in the front yard with his buddy and they were drinking beer listening to music about 11 at night. He lived on a back road, no traffic but lots of houses.

These 2 girls were walking home from a house up the street- his neighbors about 3 houses down. They were 13 or 14. They stopped to chit chat with the 2 guys, they could tell the girls were on something they told them they better get home it was already late. 1 of the girls said she was gonna be sick so the guy took her inside to the bathroom, she threw up, he walked outside to his buddy and the other girl. He told them the girl was getting sick they needed to get her home.

They waited a few minutes but she never came out so the 3 of them went in to check on her, she was passed out on his couch. The got her up and outside and took her home, the guys didn't want to get them in trouble so they just walked them up to the porch and the girls went in. I know, I know, they should have gotten the parents up.

The next morning, the cops showed up at the guys house and he was arrested for statutory rape and other things. He spent some time in jail, this legal battle went on for about a year and a half. The girl eventually admitted that she made the whole thing up because she didn't want to get in trouble with her parents for going to a party and having sex with her boyfriend.

The evidence against the guy- her DNA in the bathroom, puking and urine, and her hair on the couch cushion.

His suffering- terrible custody battle with his ex, lost his job, time in jail, lost his car and house, $$$$ big money for lawyers, had his name drug through the mud to where he couldn't even go get gas without somebody being nasty to him.

So, nope, no kids in my house!

 

[naomi78155]

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but does anyone remember the new from a couple of months ago where a little girl went missing (maybe 9 or so)? It turns out that her best friend's older sister (teenager) had lured her into the woods and killer her.

I hate to be an alarmist, but I am very protective of my kids.

The girl could be very nice and well meaning, but I tend to be extremely cautious.

 

[QVCshopper]

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but does anyone remember the new from a couple of months ago where a little girl went missing (maybe 9 or so)? It turns out that her best friend's older sister (teenager) had lured her into the woods and killer her.

I hate to be an alarmist, but I am very protective of my kids.

The girl could be very nice and well meaning, but I tend to be extremely cautious.

Wow. That is Debbie Downer.

PS - I found it ironic that everyone said it would be OK if the girl was being paid, yet the OP had a bad experience with someone her mother was paying... Just saying.

 

[Zeebs]

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but does anyone remember the new from a couple of months ago where a little girl went missing (maybe 9 or so)? It turns out that her best friend's older sister (teenager) had lured her into the woods and killer her.

I hate to be an alarmist, but I am very protective of my kids.

The girl could be very nice and well meaning, but I tend to be extremely cautious.

Goodness, does anyone remember the little girl who choked to death on a grape, got run over by a car, fell down the stairs and died, was molested by someone at church/cubscouts etc.

The percentage of all these things is very very small but how many people stop their children doing stuff just incase the worst will happen.

Teach your children well, (which the OP seems to be doing).

To me the one of the worst things in the world is for my children to grow up thinking everyone is out to get them.

Kirsten

 

[poohfriend77]

I have always loved kids and spent a lot of time babysitting (both for pay and volunteer/just helping family friends) as a teen. Maybe this girl is trying to show that she is good with kids because she wants to be a baby-sitter. OP said she seems shy, so it's unlikely she would ask them outright if they would hire her.

I agree it would be a good idea to talk with her mom, since OP hasn't met her. Mention that the teen seems to enjoy being with kids, and ask if she has babysitting experience. That would open the door for her mom to speak up if it is an issue of a developmental delay or something.

 

[Becky2005]

And I have a friend who would be very hurt by that 15 year old boy comment (her sons are 4 and 16). Some families have large age gaps between their kids and the older ones are used to younger ones. And the poor girl would be probably really upset knowing there are a bunch of women talking about her online.

It kind of stinks to have boys. No matter what they are looked at as evil. It's the post like Mickeylove2's that scares me to no end, girls learn quick they can get away with being manipulative & it works.

My DD is 15 and I could see her playing with little ones. She has a 6 year old brother and those 2 actually get along better than she does with the older 2. She also loves the babies though -- if there is a baby in sight she wants to hold the baby. She pretty much is the church nursery babysitter & people are surprised when they see her without a little one attached at her hip.

 

[Ava]

I went to a very small private school for high school that was K-12. Since the school was very small, all the kids knew each other regardless of age. (It was also a performing arts school & some of our arts activities had a broad age range in one class.) When I was about 16-17, I was friends with a group of girls who were 9-12. They looked up to me & wanted to spend time with me, and I genuinely liked hanging out with them. We didn't get together much outside of school, but we did go to the movies or the mall together a few times. I also had friends my own age & older, who I obviously had a different type of friendship with than I did with these younger girls. I guess it wasn't weird at my school for kids of different ages to be friends, since the school was small. When I was 17, one of my best friends was a 14-year-old boy. I'm sure that probably sounds weird to a lot of people, but we got along well & had fun together. I even stayed over at his house a lot, and trust me nothing "romantic" was going on - we're both openly gay now, lol.

Anyway, OP, I think this girl is probably just lonely, maybe a bit immature for her age. Or maybe she just really does like children, or would like to babysit for you but is too shy to ask. As long as she knows & respects your rules for your kids, I don't think there's anything wrong with the situation.