OT In A Big Way - Potty Training!?!?

[scanne]

I've been working with my DS4 for the past 5-6 months (yes months!) to potty train him. This past Monday I told him that there would be no more pull-ups - all underwear - and he has to tell me when he needs to use the potty. Well, this hasn't exactly "worked." He's had 3 major accidents with #1 and still refuses to sit on the potty for a bowel movement. I can't tell you how many pairs of soiled underwear I've washed this week.

So is he just not ready? Am I not doing the right thing? He won't tell me when he has to use the potty. I put him on the potty every hour and a half. He starts Pre-K in 2 weeks and has to be fully trained. I am stressed beyond belief! I need some strategies. Can anyone help? I am totally at my breaking point! Thank you.

 

[MyZoeJane]

Awww.. poor mama! Hang in there! I kept my DD (2.5) in her diapers until she was keeping the diapers dry for long periods of time. After a couple of weeks of her being in diapers but keeping them dry by using the potty, THEN I got rid of the diapers. But at age 4, maybe your DS DOES need the "extra push." Does he have any developmental delays? If he's capable of understanding a rewards system, I would create one that he's excited about. For my own DD is was the promise of dinner with the princesses at WDW in October.

But dont be too hard on him for ust a few accidents. Even my DD who was keeping her diapers dry for weeks had a few accidents the first week in big girl panties. The key is to stick with it and WATCH HIM... Don't let him get too involved in things to the point where he is distracted. If an hour has gone by and he just drank some milk, tell him to sit on the potty... then praise him up one side and down the other when he uses it!

Good luck!!!!

 

[Natalya]

I know what you are saying. I had the same problem with my son. He was 3 when I started potty training him. He was trained to Pee in the toilet relatively easy but he refused to go poop on the toilet. To the point that he would sob and sob.

I was using pull ups at night but just underwear during the day and he would wait until bedtime, when I put his pull ups on, to go poop. Then he would just go in his pull up.

It didn't help that my FIL (who watches him while we are at work) encouraged him to go in his pull ups. He would say..."oh, you have to go poops?...Here, and he would put a pull up on him and say, ok, now go."


So...what I did was...I bought a child's potty seat. Its a little small but did the trick for us. I brought it in to where a TV was and I allowed him to watch TV while he was sitting on the potty trying to go. After a while of doing that he started to go regularly in the potty seat.

Then, after he had that mastered. I bought a kids toilet seat cover that I found at Walmart. It is a white padded seat with a hard plastic bottom. It just rests on the regular toilet seat. I got that because his butt was too small for our normal toilet seats and this closed up the gap to allow him to sit comfortably.

Of course, at every stage, when he actually went poop as he was supposed to, I praised him and made a SUPER big deal about how wonderful it was that he is going poop on the potty. Big hugs and smiles...etc.

Don't yell at him, no matter how frustrating it gets. I know....I spent about 6 months trying to get him to go before I finally did the potty chair in front of the TV thing. The TV just distracted him and let him relax, if you don't allow your kids to watch TV, then a DVD movie would be fine too. I tried reading him a book while he was on the potty but that didn't help my son.

The good news is that once he started catching on...it was a quick transition for us and he figured it out quick. He will be 4 in November and is now completely potty trained...even at night.

I did have some soiled underwear days but really, it seemed like that phase didn't last long. Cleaning the potty chair out is gross but in the end it was worth it to get to the prized "going in the regular toilet like a big boy".

Now, the only help I have to give him is to lift him onto the toilet and to wipe his butt.

My son is going into preschool in September and I hear ya about the stress of getting him trained before then. That was my ultimate goal...I just accomplished it about a month early. PHEW!!!

You can do it...and your son WILL catch on. I know it seems right now like he will NEVER go to the bathroom in the toilet but he will. And then you will look back and say, "did we actually go through all that?????"

 

[Natalya]

Oh, I see you're having a bit of trouble with the pee part too.

I'm not sure how your son is being trained...but mine started out going pee in the regular toilet standing up. I tried the cheerios thing (you put some cheerios in the toilet and have them "aim" to hit the cheerios in the toilet with their pee.

I also, asked him CONSTANTLY if he had to pee. Literally, I would say "Alex, do you have to pee?" and if I didn't get an answer I would get his attention and ask again. I required him to answer me. Probably every 15 minutes or so I would ask him until he actually said yes and went.

Maybe asking him is better than just putting him on the toilet at a specific time. Then it requires them to think about it and understand what it means to have to go to the bathroom.


On another note...we are also staying at the GF in October 2006.

 

[gris gris]

DD learned by not wearing pull ups either - she soiled plenty of undies. I was never hard on her, just said well maybe next time you have to go you'll go on the toilet. She was rewarded with m&m's when she went. She eventually just started to go on the toilet. She didn't like to wear pull ups to bed because she liked the way the undies felt and decided she was too much of a big girl for diapers.

I wonder if your son senses that you're stressed about the upcoming pre-school deadline?

Good luck - we just had a baby boy and everyone says it's much harder to train a boy.

 

[taraprather]

Good luck - we just had a baby boy and everyone says it's much harder to train a boy.[/QUOTE]


I've heard this also, but my son was SO very easy. He was potty trained at 13 months! My daughter was the one that was hard. She is 2 1/2 and we've went 2 days so far with no accidents, and she's wearing panties!

 

[gris gris]

Good luck - we just had a baby boy and everyone says it's much harder to train a boy.

I've heard this also, but my son was SO very easy. He was potty trained at 13 months! My daughter was the one that was hard. She is 2 1/2 and we've went 2 days so far with no accidents, and she's wearing panties!

Glad to hear this!! Everything my daughter has sone so far was done with no issues - potty training, getting rid of the bottle, moving into her bed, etc.....I feel like my new son is going to be a nightmare and do the opposite!! Good to know maybe it's not a "boy thing"! Congrats to your daughter!

 

[Disney4Drew]

DS was potty trained and then regressed, so I totally feel your pain. Now, he is fully trained and have had no issues at all since he starting pooping on the potty again. He would pee, but he would poop in his pants all the time. I put him on the seat backwards and he felt much safter. I don't know why, but it totally worked for us. Also, you make think this is weird but here goes....I would say "you get mad mad mad when Mommy wants you to poop! You tell Mommy NO! You get mad and say poop get out of my body!!" He pooped that night after lots of talking about how mad he was and has gone ever since. We also got him a cake and had a Happy Poop Day party the next day. He still talks about it....and the best part was he thought it was all his idea to poop, LOL!! Whatever works....

 

[Not so Dumbo]

Both of my ds were potty trained at 2.5. I tried a bunch of different techinques for my first ds and nothing worked until I just told him no more diapers and gave them all away. Once he figured out I was serious he cried and protested. I made him wear underwear with plastic covers over them to hold the "wet" in. The plastic cover is the key. They don't like to feel wet. At first I started out making him sit on the big potty once an hour just to try(he would sit backwards on the potty. It was easier for him to get on and off). It only took a few accidents for them to figure out how yucky they felt. I think they were totally trained in under 2 weeks and didn't need to use the plastic pants anymore. This worked for my second ds also and he is a VERY strong willed child.

 

[Manda]

Bribes, bribes, bribes... and lots of them. That's the only thing that worked for DS and it had to be a good bribe to make it worth it. We used small candy bribes originally to get him peeing on the potty, but it was a long, hard road to get him to poop on the potty, too. We just got over that hump in the last few weeks. I bought a bunch of small gifts (like party favor items and matchbox cars) and wrapped them in Spider-Man paper and sat them in a basket on the back of the toilet. Didn't even mention it until he noticed and then I just casually said something, "Oh, those are for when someone puts poopies in the potty." Like I really didn't care whether it was him or not. LOL. He thought about it for about a week. Eyed the gifts, touched the gifts, considered the gifts. Then, finally just broke down and pooped so he'd get to open one.

 

[KJMAX1]

Ive had a lot of experience training and all I can say, its not whether they are a girl or boy, but if they are easy going or stubborn. At least thats my experience. We used the thick underwear, with plastic diaper covers as well. When I had a child who was stubborn I would give a reward system, right now its Disney Dollars, and would take them whether they had to go or not consistently for 3 days in a row every 30 mins. Once they stayed dry for 30 mins, I would move it out to 45 mins, until they learned to hold it until that time. If you really think he is just being stubborn, within reason I would just remain calm, and act unaffected by his actions, and tell him he must sit on the potty 10 mins to try each time. Id use a timer sohecanvisually watchsomething. I offered my kids a book while on the potty. Pretty soon when they saw I was consistent they became disinterested in trying to control the situation and would finally just be trained. I totally sympathize with you on the preschool thing. We have a 2 yr old starting in mid September, so we have had her earing Disney Dollars, and plan on taking her at WDW to the bathroom as a fun thing! Hopefully she will be trained by the time we get home!!

Good luck, just stay strong and act like it doesnt bother you!!

 

[Natalya]

Ive had a lot of experience training and all I can say, its not whether they are a girl or boy, but if they are easy going or stubborn.

Absolutely. It doesn't really matter whether the child is a boy or a girl. My first son was SOOO easy to potty train. Within 2 days he was potty trained just by me showing him what to do. He only had one night time accident and no underwear accidents.

I said to myself "shoot, why do they make such a big deal out of potty training? It was such a breeze. I don't understand the problem"

Then my second son came along and how surprised was I when I found out how difficult it is to really potty TRAIN a child. Especially when the adults are not on the same page. (as in the case with my FIL until I really freaked out with him).

So, the moral of the story is that every child reacts differently to all aspects of childhood...even when they are from the same parents. It all depends upon their personality.

I am significantly older than my half sisters so I remember their potty training experiences. One of them used to poop under the dining room table on the floor because she didn't want to use the toilet , the other took to potty training like it was nothing.

So, the good news is that this too shall pass. You guys will work it out...and your next one might be easier to train.

 

[wrighter]

My DS, 3, falls into the "stubborn" category. The pee part actually came fairly painlessly (but I can only now say that in retrospect.) I set aside a week where I vowed not to leave the house and focus on potty training. I didn't even put him in underwear, just let him be naked from the bottom down. The first day he spent getting used to the feeling of "having to go." The second day he definitely knew when he had to go, just couldn't get there every time. By the third day he had it down, and I put the underwear on. (Just a note here: if there is pee to clean up, use a diaper!! Those things will soak up every last drop!!!)

I also made this huge posterboard thing - it was ridiculous but he loved it. I cut out pictures from one of his Dora coloring books and made a huge "map" - basically a pathway of stepping stones to the top. Each time he peed in the potty, he got to put a star on the pathway, and he got a few M&Ms. He totally went for it. Once he got all the way to the top he got a backpack -from The Wiggles. I know, I know - I caved to the merchandising gods!! But it worked. Now the poop thing is a whole other issue - he refuses to go on the potty. And after cleaning up one too many poopy pants, I just decided to roll with it for now. He asks for a pull-up when he needs to go, and I have been disinclined to push it. Although I LOVE the PP method of putting the little presents in a basket on the potty - my DS would totally go for that!!! Thank you PP!!!

Good luck!!! I have been told that first born boys are the hardest to train, also. But I'm guessing my DD will prove me wrong.

 

[LegoMom3]

.....
So is he just not ready? Am I not doing the right thing? He won't tell me when he has to use the potty. I put him on the potty every hour and a half. He starts Pre-K in 2 weeks and has to be fully trained. I am stressed beyond belief! I need some strategies. Can anyone help? I am totally at my breaking point! Thank you.

First of all, if YOU are stressing, HE is picking up on that! Does he HAVE to go to Pre-K?? Just curious cause I know some parents need that due to work schedules (and that's fine, of course), but I know others who just want them to have a "head start" so to speak with school.

I've seen 3 boys through potty training and all 3 were different. Only one of them trained before the age of 4, though - not meant to discourage you but simply that boys CAN take longer! I'm sure I put many a bald spot in my hair in all my frustration!! "Slow and steady wins the race," as they say. Don't stress with him, don't punish him, and be consistent with whatever route you choose to go with.

Praise, praise and more praise!!!!!!!!

 

[lovesmurfs]

My son's daycare really got them trained (3 I believe). He's laid back personality wise and is just easy-going.

My daughter (now 7) wasn't totally trained until 4 or 4 1/2 (day) and we use nighttime pullups until she was over 6. We STILL have some nighttime issues (she's a heavy sleeper). I didn't push it because of her personality (VERY strongwilled--my MIL, having 40 years of teaching school under her belt, says she's the most strongwilled child she's ever met) and I figured she wouldn't go to kindergarten with diapers, so heh!

I hadn't thought about it before, but their personality did have a lot to do with how they did...

 

[momz]

we are working with my soon to be 3 year old on this very thing. he is the most stubborn child. (i'm sure some of you have children who could challenge him on stubborness). I know he can control his urge to go. the other day, he emptied out his toy box and peed in it (thankfully he emptied it first). if that's not a sign of being ready, i don't know what is. i told him that it is not ok to put his potty in there, and i took the box, away, now all his toys are on his floor. (what a mess). now, we have a reward system. he really likes to play outside in the evening when the neighbors are out as well. if he stays dry, he can play. any accidents and he stays inside. yesterday he faced the consequence, today he was dry and got to play. let's hope it works.

 

[seven dwarfs]

I have six kids all under the age of six. All were potty trained by two years old. My twins were my first. I was having a time and someone got me the book "How to Potty train in one day"? or "Potty Training in one day" (can't remember which name). I don't remember who wrote it (I believe a DR) but it is the best. It worked and I used it for all of my kids. My last baby turned two in January and was trained by her birthday. I am not going to tell you it was not hard, It was. And I have washed my fair share of undies but it worked. If you want to know the authur I will try to find the book and let you know. This book teaches once you go to undies there is no turning back. It is so good though and it worked wonders for us. I will add two of my kids still wet the bed. I hope they grow out of it soon. The other four are dry all night. Good luck.

 

[rt2dz]

I have not read most of the replies, but try that book "Potty Training in a Day". I have friends who swear by it. It is really meant for those 3+ potty training, but that is what you have so it should be no problem.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

At age 4 (and assuming no physical or learning disability), he is physiologically capable, so it's a matter of control for him. My oldest son was very resistant, but when he transferred from a toddler class to a preschool class (where children were expected to be potty-trained, and if they had an accident, the child cleaned himself up), suddenly he was trying really hard! I honestly think he just didn't like having to clean up the mess himself, was perfectly content as long as someone else had to do it.

We had plenty of accidents that first week of class (I think he was testing the teacher and his parents), but they gradually tapered off. Even at age 5 he would have an occasional accident. He would still have to take off his soiled clothing, clean himself (we have those little bathroom wipes), and re-dress himself.

 

[Kahana-ri]

DS is 2.5 and we just started potty training this past month. At this point we ask if he has to go potty before he takes a bath each night, so far so good. In a few weeks we are going to talk with his school and ask for them to see if they can get him to go during the daytime as well. This is our first child, so this is new territory for us. We just decided to give DS the option to go when he was ready.
Just wanted to share and to wish you luck!