You just brought up two big issues with 'hate' crimes. First, proof. How do we know what the motivation was? When the Atlanta child murders were going on between 1979-81, that was widely thought to be 'hate' crime, because the victims were all black. However, the person convicted of the crimes, Wayne Williams, was himself black! But maybe he was self-loathing, so who knows? Hate crime? Hard to say. Certainly, it was a grevious crime, so why can't it be prosecuted strictly on that basis?
Second, I'm troubled by this 'ranking' of motivations. Take the recent attacks on the homeless by various groups of bored/disturbed youths. If Group 1 said it was sex/race/sexual orientation-neutral, and was merely seeking to beat the heck out of the first homeless person found 'just for kicks', is Group 1 inherently 'better' or 'less wrong' than Group 2, which was deliberately seeking a gay/black/female/jewish/whatever person to assault? Personally, I find both groups reprehensible, and both should face equal punishments. Most versions of hate crime legislation differentiates among classes of victims in ways I find unconstitutional.