OT - How do you handle families over the holidays?

[PatricenPete]

DS is our only child and the only grandchild for both of our families, so he is undeniably spoiled. I tried putting at cap on it for his birthday and it worked out pretty well.

Christmas is another animal altogether......

Everyone wants to do this, buy that, give this, take that.....It is all enough to make my head spin.......(Where is a gun shooting smiley when you need it?)

I was planning on asking the grandparents to put money into his savings account and maybe buy him only a toy or two - am I pushing it? I mean, quite frankly, he is MY kid, shouldn't I have final say and what he gets or doesn't get?

 

[Livie's Mommy]

We are in the same boat as you. DD is the only grandchild on both sides, for now anyways. She is also one out of only 2 great-grandchildren, so the grandaunts and granduncles go crazy, too! Don't know what to tell you. We have told our families not to go overboard, but they always do. You certainly have a right to tell your family not to go crazy on the gifts....but in my experience, they probably will anyways!!!

 

[SqueakyMouse]

For 8 years, our older son was not only the only grandchild but also the only great-grandchild (with 3 great grandmothers and 1 great grandfather still living). Every one of his relatives enjoyed spoiling him! In addition to all the toys he had at home, he also had many duplicates at each grandmother's and great grandmother's homes. He brought a lot of joy to everyone, and they made some very special memories for him. Yes, dh and I worried about ds being spoiled; but our worries were needless. Ds is a great kid with a strong sense of "family."

One day when I was whining about how everyone spoiled ds, my great grandmother said, "Think about how YOU will feel when you're a grandparent. I'm sure you will want to spoil your grandchild, too." So true.

On a side note: We've had to buy very few toys for our younger children due to all of older ds' hand-me-downs.

 

[jorodopo]

My DH and I are only children so we are in the same boat. We have started specifically requesting gifts that don't take up space. One set of grandparents get the annual zoo pass and the other set gets a museum or the aquarium pass. We've done this with Disney on Ice and also with sports/theatre tickets for birthdays. They still tend to get the kids one or two toys but since the passes are kinda pricey it seems to keep the "things" to a miniumum. Each time we go to the zoo, etc we remind the kids that these trips are due to their grandparents and take pictures to send as thank you's.
Happy Holidays

 

[100AcreWood]

My DH and I are only children so we are in the same boat.

Ha! Us too! My Mom is the major offender here. My In Laws only buy presents at Christmas and birthday with a little candy at Easter. So they keep in line with what they did when dh was little. My Mom and Dad on the other hand do more than Santa and us combined! Last year it was 15 presents for Christmas. Not to mention all the stuff for birthday, Easter, and everytime she sees her which is once a month or so. I spoke with her a month back about settling down this Christmas and so far she has responded favorly. We agreed to 2 big presents and 4 small ones. I explained that I understand it's her right to spoil and my dd is the only grandchild but she is also becoming very ungreatful since she gets so much stuff!

The funny thing is I brought home a foam piece from work than came in a computer box and she has played with it more this week than any of her expensive toys! She really used her imagination. It was everything from a tray, golf club, and bridge!

 

[KeepSwimming]

How do we handle our families over the holidays???!!!???

With a dart gun and a bottle of tequila, of course! Doesn't everybody?

 

[bopper]

I would explain the situation...saying that you, and both sets of grandparent's are getting gifts...each person doesn't have to get him all his gifts. Perhaps they would consider getting him a little less and putting some money in a 529 plan for him for college? If you do get a lot of gifts, have him play with some, and hide the others in the closet for a while. Then in February, get some of them out. Voila! New gifts!

 

[Nevergrow'nup]

We had the same trouble with MIL and FIL. We would have them buy annual passes to zoo, aquariums, etc. We thell them to "buy memories" not forgetable toys. Time spent with them is more important than anything under the tree. We have done the same now that my children are older (12 and 15) We "buy" them memories, trips to WDW, US/IOA, SeaWorld, the Christmas show in NYC, etc. The time we spent together is priceless.

 

[isla bonita]

Try to avoid them as much as possible. LOL It's family they are supose to make you crazy!

 

[kellyg403]

How do we handle our families over the holidays???!!!???

With a dart gun and a bottle of tequila, of course! Doesn't everybody?

Jack Daniels here!

 

[Mom to Jordan]

Well this year at least your child will not have a clue. Just do not let him get overwelmed during opening, say thank-you and then quitely put about half the gifts up for later. Put your foot down on safety issues such as toys that may contain choking hazards or go aginst your values such as toys guns, and then let them go hog wild. You child will have no clue who gave him all the stuff so that's less for you to buy!!
If you get the change give hints of stuff that you want him to have. Think long term. Kids grow so much at that age and he will be ready for more advanced toys by summer. If he gets them ,just put them back and pull them out when he is ready for them.
You might have to deal differently when he is 4 or 5 and you want to interject some values such as being too materlistric but for now just be glad he is so loved!!!!

Jordans' mom

 

[lovewdwdvc]

Well, the only bit of advise that I have for you is to "count your blessings." It is wonderful that you are raising your child in an environment of love and committment. Enjoy the gift.

Oh ya, enjoy the other gifts too. Let the grandparents get the joy of giving. Teach him to respond appropriately and remember that the Benevolent Society (or other charity) will greatly appreciate any donation of slightly used toys.

 

[ladyariadne]

I like the idea of putting money into a college fund. If they don't want to do this, well just enjoy the gifts. With your child's age, he will quickly grow out of the toys he is currently getting. As he grows out of them, you can donate them to charity.

I suspect that when your son gets older, this problem will take care of itself. At about 6 years old, the toys get MUCH more expensive and the grandparents are more likely to give a smaller number of gifts. Once they start dropping $50 each on video games, the number of gifts will significantly slow down.

Elizabeth

 

[princess-rn]

We are the same way...only grandchild on both sides. I dont' think it's unreasonable to ask for $$ to put in a college fund or savings account. We "suggest" to our parents that they buy DS (3 yrs old) one or two toys that they think he would like and then if they want to do more (which they always do) give us the $$ so we can put it into his savings and/or college fund. Both sides really seem to enjoy doing that. They see it as no matter what happens they are helping finance his future.

 

[tjmw2727]

We delt with this when my dd's were born - and it is frustrating.

I spoke with my sister about my concerns and she about hers. She LOVED being "Auntie Yes" and until she had kids it was just as much for her as it was for the kids. Dear MIL felt the same way, in my case asking them not to give or to give money would have hurt their feelings and taken the fun away from them.

I did what someone prior suggested and after the holiday/birthday I put some things aside for a rainy day. When the girls got older I started suggesting arts and craft supplies - fun to buy and fun to make something for the giver - and you can never have to much!

Now that the kids are older its better, they get things like gift cards esp the movies or bookstore and AC more etc. Arts & Craft stuff is still a big part of their holiday/birthday. Since they are now earning allowance and buying many of their own things they realize the value of a gift card and are truly appreciative. The museum or zoo pass is a terrific idea!

FWIW, kids can be spoiled without material things and kids with more can be great kids - not at all spoiled. I always remember our pediatrician telling me that fruit spoils when it is left alone not when it is taken care of. I try and teach the kids to appreciate what they do have, give back and be thankful.

Good Luck
TJ

 

[laurietg]

I am not in your situation, but I was a child who was spoiled by grandparents. I don't think it did any harm. I can understand your feelings of being overwhelmed, and you probably sense it in your son. On the other hand, you are the parent, and that is where your son will learn his values. Being spoiled on holidays will just be great memories for him when he is older. My advice is to relax and enjoy it.

They say to choose your battles with your kids. I think the same goes with other relatives. This may not be one you want to tackle!

 

[scouthawkk]

How do we handle our families over the holidays???!!!???

With a dart gun and a bottle of tequila, of course! Doesn't everybody?

Ours is a squirt gun (ok, one of those big canon types) and a bottle of vodka

Actually, my problem isn't so much with the grandparents (although, MIL keeps coming up with some strange gifts, even after asking for what she should get DS). My problem is more with DH! He seems to be reliving his own childhood, and buys everything for DS that he was never allowed to have Drives me bonkers! Even with rotating things out for a later date and time, he still has things he never plays with...only daddy does

 

[pooh4evr]

Our DDs are the only grand and great grandchildren on either side so they definately get more than they need too! We have started telling my siblings to get/pay for things like gymanstics and dance classes (one session). We also have a "master list for Christmas, we list all of the things the girls want or need (maybe about 15 each) and then divide them up between us, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts and uncles that way we can tell them something the girls really want and there are no duplicates. I know it sounds like alot but they have gotten things like the gymanstics classes, sleeping bags, personalized kid size luggage (that we took to WDW). I also have 4 siblings, DH has 1, our parents and all of our grandparents. We are very lucky and our DDs know they are too!