OT: help with hair twirling 3 year old

[bzzymom]

DD is 3 and had very long pretty hair with natural curls until 6 weeks ago. She began twirling her hair at night and she broke off hair by her ear on the left side. My hairdresser tapered her hair around her face and cut her hair to her shoulder blades in the back. It is still pretty, and has the curl. She still twirls, but it hadn't had any breakage. This morning she woke up with a major twirled, knotted up mess. I put detangler in it and got a little bit of it out. I called my salon (my gal doesn't work on Thursdays, but I figured out that someone else could help me) and they said to try putting some conditioner on it to try to soften it up. It is still on. It is like she tied it in knots. I am thinking about cutting her hair short, but I fear that she will loose the natural curl she has and the shorter I go, she will still twirl.

Has anyone been through this with a child? If so, what did you do?

 

[dsnymomof4]

Speaking as a lifetime hair-twirler myself, I don't think anything you do is going to stop her from twirling. It is a habit and my DD6 has inherited it from me. She used to twirl it so tightly around her finger that it would get stuck in her hair. I would go in to check on her at night and her finger would be caught in a tight twirl. Now, she doesn't twirl it so tight, just twirls to keep her hands busy. Sometimes, DH will point out that I'm twirling and I didn't even realize I was doing it. Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

 

[Nanisashi]

My dd4 has long curly hair, I have tried so many conditioners and detanglers, I haven't found a magic one yet. I try to comb it out some before her bath, then some while she has conditioner on, then the rest once I get her out of the tub. Its a long process, but curls are so pretty. I have the same fear about '"losing the curls" once she gets her hair cut, so I'm willing to take the extra time.

 

[2cutekidz]

It's possible that the shorter you go, the curlier it will get. The weight of her hair might be pulling the curl straight. Either way, curly or striaght, your daughter will be just as beautiful!!

 

[mickeylove2]

My DD6 has curly hair down to her waist and I always put a leave in conditioner in after her bath at night and put a loose braid in it...she doesn't twirl, just slides all over the bed, if I don't braid it she gets HUGE knots all over and it takes forever to get them out in the morning.

 

[bumbershoot]

Only thing that stopped my mom from hair twirling was EXTREMELY short haircuts. She was twirling her hair as an infant...most irritating unconscious habit ever, IMO (and for awhile I was a hair-chewer! ewwwww...).

The hair, well, long curly hair is going to go easily into dreadlocks anyway, so twirling or not you'd likely be dealing with this anyway! My mom wouldn't let me grow my hair long for just that reason. So either brush it out all the time, allow for that one little part to get twisted, or lose the long hair on her...

 

[jensen]

I recall what made me stop twirling my hair at the age of 6... an older woman I know told me that if I didn't stop twirling, my finger would get caught in my hair and it would have to be cut off... I don't mean to condone scaring a child, but I still have all my fingers and all my curls.

 

[Mommy2Lots]

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[karenTX]

My oldest daughter used to do that, too and even gave herself a shiny bald spot at two years old. LOL. What I did is buy her a blanket with lots of fringes on it. I would put that ion her hands and she played with that instead. A large doll with yarn hair or curly hair also works. Whatever you use, use the same thing every night.

My son had the same problem. I gave him the blankie. It seems to have helped. He never got to the point of balding or breaking hair.

Hope that helps.

I'm currently dealing with this too but dd isn't twirling her hair, she's pulling it out and rolling it into little balls. It started after a few really BAD doctor appointments, blood draws, tests, etc. Her ped said not to worry, it's self soothing, she'll grow out of it. But it got REALLY bad on top. It was so bad, a woman stopped me at Target to ask what type of cancer my dd had!!

We tried the blankets and dolls...none of that worked, she didn't like any of them in her crib at night. She'd throw them out. After talking to her ped again, first he suggested putting a sleeping cap/hat on at night, that lasted all of 2 seconds. Then we tried suggestion 2, putting lightweight socks on her hands at night with safety pins attached to the sleeves of her pjs. This she had no problem doing, in fact she gets mad if we leave them off for a night. Her hair is growing back slowly but hey...it's growing back!!

Maybe you can give this a try if she'll let you! HTH!

 

[ksumn1]

My DD did this for awhile. Now she's switched to sucking on her hair EEWWW!I gave her a fairly long piece of ribbon to play with and it's helping. When I see her with her hair in her mouth I remind her to use her ribbon. I honestly think it's something she'll grow out of. Or at least she'll stop knotting it up when she twirls. I used to do the same thing.....twirling, chewing hair, biting nails, and finally I settled on hair twirling. I don't even realize I'm doing it most of the time. Maybe try to find a doll like Mommy2Lots suggested. Or a blanket..anything to keep her hands busy and out of her hair. Good luck!

 

[solferino]

It could be a need of something to do with her hands and having some really cool hair to play with just makes it convenient.


the therapy shoppe has cool little gadgets for kids who are fiddlers. Maybe one of their toys would be something that would work for her.

 

[squirrel]

My niece has really curly hair too. Luckly she hasn't started the habit of twirling. I think that your child will outgrow the habit. Make sure you give her something to keep her fingers busy with at night (is it just at night?) I like the ribbon idea and blanket.

I would also either braid her hair or put it into pigtails and then add more hair elastics going down each one. Hopefully then she won't be able to get to the hair to twirl.

I hope some of these ideas help. As for conditioner I know my sister liked a product called Baby But (may have another "t" on the end I'm not sure) she got it from our sister who works at a hair salon. It cost too much for them to get it just for her, so she doesn't use it anymore.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Maybe she just twirling the hair because the knots are really bugging her? When I'm nervous I'll pull my fingers through my curls mindlessly and tons will come out... not that anyone would notice because its so thick but still, it is a lot.

Having long curly thick hair myself I can only say that in order to get the awful knots out I use about 1/3 cup of conditioner every day. I wash my hair then saturate it in conditioner as I wash off. By the time I'm done most of the knots are relaxed and I pull my fingers through the knots with my head upside down... sometimes the knots come out in small chunks but everyone I know with curls has the same thing so I figure thats just how it goes. DD has the same problem so I do the same for her and at 8 she is finally getting the hang of it. Also, it is absolutely necessary that I put our hair up in scrunchie pony tails every night otherwise the morning knots are unbearable, even for 1/2 bottle conditioner. FYI, because I use sooo much I go with the Pantene conditioner knock-off made by Wal-mart.

Also, pool chlorine has made DD's hair an absolute nightmare for the past month. I've been supplementing the regular conditioner with Love Potion #9 and it seems to calm it down.

Good luck with the beautiful curls
Mine aren't easy but I wouldn't have it any other way

 

[suffolkprincess]

I am a terrible hair twirler from way back (I think I started at around 7 or 8 years old) and I have thick curly hair that I wear long (because if it is short its a moppy distaster!) I am, even as we speak, twirling my hair. Its my thing, its all about self soothing and I only ever quit doing it when I was a smoker. (Then I never twirled and never bit my nails... now I don't smoke and I am biting my nails and twirling.) My MIL suggested meds for my fidgeting, but its not worth that in my opinion. DD4 has begun to twirl some, too, and what has helped with her has been to tell her about the time I made such a bad knot that I had to get a short haircut. Since she got a short haircut from her cousin last year (sigh) she is pretty motivated to avoid another one. She does still twirl, but not as tightly-- and she has thick waves, not curls so the snarl issue is not as bad.

I second everything that you have been told about avoiding the knots. Braids are a really great way to control the curly hair without flattening it while avoiding frizz and knots. I really like the Curls Rock line by bedhead, but its pricey, so I have been using Garnier's curl products and having really nice results. DO NOT OVERWASH HER HAIR. Seriously, if it is thick you only need to wash once or twice a week. I wash once a week in winter and twice in the summer. I *rinse* and condition daily, but shampoo only once or twice a week. The curly hair just needs the oils on it to keep it healthy and help avoid frizz and knots. I know it sounds crazy, but its true.

 

[kldmom2000]

This is the struggle I've had with my 4.5 yr old DD for years now.... we tried cutting her hair into a bob @ chin length and she still did it. There were times I'd be on the highway and she'd be twisting her hair and get her finger wrapped so tightly that it would be turning blue!!! I'd have to pull over and try to untangle the mess... needless to say, there have been many instances where I've had to snip off a chunk of her hair because the knots are so bad

Her hair is now about shoulder length because she wants long hair so badly. I try to put it in ponytails/braids to prevent the really bad tangles and that seems to help a bit... I also remind her whenever I see her doing it that if she continues to do it, we'll have to shave her head and she'll stop... but then unconsciously start up again shortly thereafter

Good luck to you!!!!

 

[bzzymom]

Thank for the suggestion. I was able to get the tangle out after leaving conditioner on for 30 minutes. She did break off some of the hair though.
I have tried pony tail, braids etc. She gets it all undone. I tried putting her hair in a ponytail this am before going to the baby sitters house, and the left side is too short to get pulled up in the pony tail, so I tried a barrett to hold that side of the hair back, and she took it off in the car. So, she is lopsided. We have doll that she sleeps with that has long hair, but she doesn't mess with the dolls's hair. I will keep at it though. The last resort will be cutting her hair short.

 

[jennifer293]

I think it is a hereditary thing. My DD3 is a twirler and so am I. My mom twirled her hair and so did her mom. I don't know that you can stop it. I am constantly touching my hair anyway, but I twirl it when I am bored and the same seems true with DD3. I guess it is better for her to twirl her hair than to chew on it..YUCK!!! I know a few kids that do that.

 

[NotUrsula]

Put leave-in conditioner in it and french-braid it close to her head while it is wet. You should be able to leave the braid in for a couple of days at a time.