OT Help! Considering quitting job to be SAHM.

[momoftwodisneykids]

If you quit would you be able to substitute? Maybe that could help offset your costs some also. Is your husband supportive? I would think that would really help also!

Here in Florida, they do not pay subs (even certified teachers) jack squat. Plus my husband subbed for a year before getting a job and said it was like the first day on the job everyday, plus the kids treated the subs like garbage. I would rather work prn nursing a couple of days and week and I would make more than subbing 5 days a week.

Joanne

 

[minniemee]

I can definitely relate! I quit my job as an RN last June to be a SAHM. My husband got a new job making more money and I jumped on the chance to check out of the working world!
So far it's been great. I have 2 boys, 6 and 14 y/o. They love that I can be there for them so much. When I worked I had to be at work at 5:30am, so I never got to bring them to school. Now I bring and pick them up everyday. It's been fantastic. We did have to cut back on alot of unnecessary spending though.
The kids got to public school now instead of private. And we eat out alot less. We all get less clothes, gadgets, and extras, but I think it's paying off for the kids well being!
Good luck Joanne and I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have! Our annual income is probably now 15,000 less, but we are not suffering by any means!

 

[momoftwodisneykids]

Don't forget about health insurance. Do you currently insure your family through your job, or through your husband's job? If you quit your job, and wish to continue through them for health insurance, it will soar, about 4x what you're paying now. Check into your employer's Cobra plan, its a shocker! And don't think you can just buy insurance on the open market. If you have any previous existing conditions, and your psychiatric considiton would be considered pre existing, you either could not get insurance at all through many plans or the premiums would be very expensive with a rider that would exclude any pre existing conditions, for an extended period of time or forever.

Don't just assume you can get insurance simply because you need it! If you stay on your husband's policy you should be ok! Good Luck

To another poster, yes my DH is totally supportive. In fact, it was him who told me my health and happiness was more important than the job.

As far as health insurance, I was paying $276/month ($3312 over 12 months) for my kids only (the charter school I work for paid my portion) and it is crappy insurance that won't pay anything until a $300 deductible is met. If I am not working my son would qualify for Medicaid (DH is his stepdad) or Healthy Kids, as my ex-husband is disabled. I checked into an individual BC/BS plan for my daughter and I really good plan is only $57/month (she has no health problems that we are aware of) and it even covers urgent care and prescriptions. If I go on DH's plan it would be $4061.40 over a one year period, but he has OK coverage with prescriptions and office visit/urgent care copays that aren't too bad. Overall, it should be about $120 more per month for health insurance but with my prescriptions covered (one GENERIC is $140/month) it would probably even out.

We are crunching numbers this weekend before I put in my notice, just to make sure we are not over looking anything before I make it final.

Thanks for bringing up the health insurance issue, as this is something I will need to work on in the next couple of weeks.

Joanne

 

[eeyorethegreat]

OP I am glad to hear you are under the care of Docs. Please please keep them involved especially since you have considered suicide. It sounds like your DH is willing to be supportive of whatever makes you get well. It sounds like you are really looking at these changes in a positive and realistic way. I wish you all the best!!

 

[Mickeyherewecome123]

I see you are a pug fan. We have two little fur babies ourselves, Pugsley and Mugsey (affectionately called Moogie since my DD couldn't say Mugsey when we got him). They are the best at helping to cheer me up, as they don't judge me and love me no matter what.

Joanne

Hi Joanne,
Yep, we have a Pug, her name is Lacie Lou (we call her Lou Lou) She is such a good girl and like you, she also is a breath of fresh air in my life.

Praying you figure out and make the right decision for you and your family.

Fran

 

[wii fit mama]

My husband was very stressed out a few years ago and blamed it on his job. After he quit he thought he would magically get better but only got worse. Eventually, he agreed to see a psychiatrist who helped him with medicine and counseling. That was five years ago and he still stays home and we are doing great but it took awhile to recover financially. Our 13 year old DD is doing fantastic in all ways. I am glad you are already seeing doctors who can help you now and wish you the best of luck.

Will you get health insurance from your husband's job when you leave? That is a huge expense.

 

[lucigo]

Here in Florida, they do not pay subs (even certified teachers) jack squat. Plus my husband subbed for a year before getting a job and said it was like the first day on the job everyday, plus the kids treated the subs like garbage. I would rather work prn nursing a couple of days and week and I would make more than subbing 5 days a week.

Joanne

That works too. I'm an at home medical transcriptionist, something else you might consider with your medical background.

My DH graduates from UWF in December and will be hoping to get a job as a middle school math/science teacher. Here in the panhandle they have cut our budget and are making administration work as subs so there aren't many sub jobs available.

 

[summerrluvv]

Well, since your children are both in school during the day, is it possible to just get a p/t job doing something else so you are home when they get home? Or subbing?

 

[mickeygaga]

In your earlier post you said that your work as an RN was less stressful. I am an R.N. and have worked PRN for most of the time. I will pick up a night shift once or twice a week. I have the flexibility to say when I want to work, and I am able to be home for the children. I sleep when they go to school and I never work two shifts in a row to keep it easy on me. I honestly feel like I barely work but am able to bring home $25G a year. Also, you have so many choices of hours. I hope you find peace and I wish you all the luck in whatever choice you make.

 

[momoftwodisneykids]

In your earlier post you said that your work as an RN was less stressful. I am an R.N. and have worked PRN for most of the time. I will pick up a night shift once or twice a week. I have the flexibility to say when I want to work, and I am able to be home for the children. I sleep when they go to school and I never work two shifts in a row to keep it easy on me. I honestly feel like I barely work but am able to bring home $25G a year. Also, you have so many choices of hours. I hope you find peace and I wish you all the luck in whatever choice you make.

Thank you so much for all your support. I knew this would be the right place to come. Since I am taking off tomorrow, I will probably apply at the local hospital (I used to work there about 7 years ago) for a prn RN position. Their website says they have prn openings for Mother-Baby which is what I used to do, so maybe this will work out after all. I will just need to find out what the minimum work requirement is (if there is one), as I want to be off school when the kids and DH are off, including most of the summer.

Joanne

 

[SarahKate]

You've gotten a lot of really great advice. I agree w/ OP's that you should try to utilize the skills you already have and just work per diem. In addition to the inpatient setting, what about doing in-home nursing?

There are a lot of things you could do with your skills, it's just a matter of being creative. Someone mentioned medical transcription - with your RN background, that could definitely be a possibility if you are good w/ typing (quick AND accurate).

With your teaching background, maybe there's something you could do with that.....maybe training?

I am going thru this very same thing with my job. I've worked in education at a big hospital since 1995 and am tired of it....mentally and physically. I'm leaving the day before Thanksgiving.....the day AFTER Thanksgiving is my b-day and a Disney trip (already paid for!). Very exciting but scary. I have an opportunity to teach some training courses from December thru the end of March & 2 or 3 days a week (and not for entire days, about 6 hours) & be able to make what I need to get by financially. I'm marketing my new biz so I'll devote a lot of time to it and hopefully be well off the ground by the time the training classes end. I'm not doing it to make lots of money (of course THAT would be nice if it happened), I just want to have time.....for my family, for me, etc.

I am excited to GET to do something vs. HAVING to do something.

 

[tinker&belle]

In January I had a similar post about wanting to be a sahm. I have to say, I did not have the anxiety like you posted about when I shared, but I was a teacher and I had MAJOR anxiety dealing with the Principal and parents. Nothing was ever good enough. Tack on the new baby and the fact when I came back from maternity my principal was strongly pressuring me to take more new responsiblities (which would have been fine, but the way she went about it while adjusting to a new colicky baby was overwhelming) I was VERY anxious.

I wanted to be a SAHM before the baby but didn't think we could afford it. After all of this, we crunched the numbers and with taxes and daycare I discovered I was bringing home 500 a month! We made some adjustments to the budget, saved about four months of my salary to make an emergency fund and I quit my job. I have never looked back.

I found a part time daycare I can work a few hours a week and my DD can go. It is a nice way for me to keep a foot in the door, but I don't have the stress of before. I love it.

To be honest, now that I have quit working our priorities have changed. I miss having extra money all the time, but I love my life now.

We have found the less we are in stores, the less we feel we need.

Hugs to you and hope everything works out for you.

 

[Beherenow]

I became a SAHM a little less than 9 years ago. Now that my children are both in school, I am having a terrible time restarting my career. The quality time I spent with my children is priceless, and it is the trade-off I made. Since this will be changing your spending habits, perhaps you should alter your lifestyle for a few months to make sure the lost income really won't be missed. I tend to agree with the people saying you might want to look into other work options first. Becoming a SAHM is no guarantee that you will be happier. Good luck with your decision.

 

[tmccullough]

Coming from a former full-time worker to a SAHM for going on 13 years now, it can be done. I'm glad to see your husband is supportive. My husband also suggested me quit and stay home and the difference in absolutely every detail of our family life is amazing!! When I worked, even the minor details of life became difficult like having dinner on the table every evening, taking care of the kids with homework, baths, etc. I am happy to say that all 4 of my daughters are in school and no, I don't plan on working. We've adapted so well. We went to one vehicle (brand new by the way - just purchased our third new vehicle last week!)and my husband bought a motorcycle a couple years ago and he's able to take that at least 7 months out of the year as we live in the northeast. You will learn as you go from other SAHM's you meet along the way about ways to cut your expenses. We have no cell phones but my husband only works 5 miles from home and the business he works for has one he uses at work. We recently bundled the phone, cable & internet to save money. DD16 picks up babysitting occasionally which teaches her responsibility and keeps us from having to pay for all the social outings! We do eat out at least once a week (sometimes 2)but still is cheaper with the groceries. We actually qualify for the girls to get reduced lunches at school so for 40 cents a day, they get a hot lunch. We bought a woodstove insert years ago to supplement the heat and have had to buy wood some years but are lucky enough to be given wood at times = free heat! I close with saying that I can honestly say that I'm waaaay less stressed than when I worked full-time. I really think the part-time nursing position sounds like the best option at this point and then you can see if it works for your family to cut back even further or stay there. Good luck!

 

[FoundMyPrince]

I've stayed home with our children for 10 years now. We went from two teaching paychecks, to one. You've gotten much advice from this board already and my two cents probably won't help much more.

However, you will save some money by not working. I think I read that you spent $1000 in August in eating out? Wow - that's a chunk of your paycheck! If you decide to stay home, perhaps you can cook meals at home (I make a monthly menu for our family so we're not looking at each other at 6 o'clock wondering what is to eat). You won't spend as much on gas driving back and forth to work. You won't spend as much on clothing for the classroom. You won't spend money on supplies for the classroom, etc!

We decided in March (10 yrs ago) that I wouldn't return to the school the following year. From March until my last check in August, we paid off debt and put the money into savings. We "lived" off one paycheck to see what it would be like. It was amazing to us that it really didn't hurt! We just had to retrain our thinking and how we looked at our bank account.

 

[mrsklamc]

Is income the only requirement for medicaid in your state? I was on it for a time as a child and my mom had to document fairly regularly that she was actively looking for work. But maybe your anxiety will qualify you for disability and that won't be a concern.

 

[fkj2]

You sound as though you've pretty well made up your mind to quit. Is there any chance you could stick it out long enough to save up a couple months of expenses as a cushion?

I had worked as a nurse for years, and was pretty good at it although it was never the career of my dreams. My mom suffered stroke related dementia and I quit--because I couldn't get out of work on time after the 8-hour shift--to get home and deal with things there. Her course lasted far longer than I thought and by the time she passed, my certifications had lapsed. I'm trying not to go back to nursing but I've had to make some drastic lifestyle changes. Eating out is a rarity. The last movie I saw was on New Year's. I do without a lot of things and I rarely buy anything that isn't discounted by 60-75 percent. I have a favorite thrift shop.

While I cared for my mom, I learned the joys of crockpot cooking. I baked nearly all of our homemade "treats." (Making pie crust is much easier than it seems.) I have some indulgences; a couple of dogs, cats, and horses. The horses provided me with enough work to substitute for a gym membership. I too had enough to be depressed and stressed about but people do what they think they need to in the best interests of themselves and their families. When I first entertained the idea of becoming a stay-at-home-daughter, I worked with the accountant who, based on the interest rates at the time, felt my mom's financial situation would make my quitting to care for her work. Within a few months, rates dropped and I burned through cash like an auto company.

From some of the (wise) counselors I've listened to, try living on your husband's income for a while, maybe six months or so, while you build that cash cushion, and use the time to plan where you can cut expenses and make adaptations to your lifestyle.

Good luck with it all.