OT: Having another child...

[Camping Griswalds]

Funny! Tha'ts one of the reasons we decided to only have 1! We figured with just one-the parents are still the majority and can't be outvoted

That is a perfect idea...maybe should have thought about that before #2 and well I guess #3 as well

Now if there is ever a post about having only children, you should add that comment on!!! Looks like it works for single children and multiple children!!!! I will tell you that now that we have 3 that there are definately days when we ARE outnumbered!!! Little rascals are very good at "divide and conquor"

 

[2diamonds&a~gem]

I suffer from the should we have another or not debate as well. DH says: Just let me know when I am needed. (It took us 2.5 years with DD, I think he is refering to the trying to get preggers part of being needed.) DH is the middle of three brothers, all three years apart. I was an only child until I was 16. And now have a brother 13 and sister 12.

As of now, I am still undecided and using BC.

But, I have always thought... I will not regret the other kids I have, but I might regret not having other kids.

Too bad this isnt as easy as chosing where to stay @ WDW.

 

[mjkaferle5]

We went from having one to three (twins) and added a fourth.

After having one we were thinking the same type of thing - How are we going to handle three children now? But the funny thing is you worry and worry and in the end you just adjust!! Now we have four and I could never imagine having only one!!

God has blessed us so much and I am thankful everytime I look at or even think about our wonderful boys!!

Just the fact that you worry about being able to handle another child tells me you will be great parents!! It shows that you care and that is the number one rule!

 

[ahutton]

It is different from 1 to 2 kids, you don't have (or have very little) alone time. If that is something that is important to you, be aware. DH and I are both only kids, it was an adjustment but we LOVE it. For us, 2 to 3 kids was not a bad adjustment, but DS is a little sweetie pie - very calm and laid back so he goes with the flow well. Good thing, his sisters have some pretty strong opinions!

Our kids are 26 and 34 months apart (DD, DD, DS). When pregnant with DS my oldest (she was almost 5) inquired about getting a door on my tummy so DS could come out. It turned out I needed a C-Section - so the door explanation was a good one, and it didn't stress her out, or our 2nd DD (who was almost 3). The "door" was why Mommy couldn't pick them up for a while, but we did lots of snuggling.

We do make individual time for each of the kids with us, in fact I alternate weekends on who gets to go grocery shopping with me. We also have let them do special things with my parents (like WDW trips) which help them with those special feelings.

It isn't easy, but it is wonderful!

 

[Blondiex46]

very difficult answer. My oldest is 3 years older then the second and the second is 4 years older them the third (the third is 12 years older then the 4-5,lol)

Anyway, 3 years was very tough cause my son was "different" which turned out to be ADHD and my 2nd was not, my third was. Anyway, again, don't know if their is a perfect age, you want them to be close, but not too close that one can't be a baby for the length of time that you think it should be, in order to feel special. Not sure if it all makes any sense, but I think that it is an individual decision based on the individual child, but also, your family has to come into it.

 

[bags6490]

I have 3 girls. 6, 2 and 1. Was a big adjustment for me to go from 1 to 2. I felt guilty, at first, that I was taking time away from my oldest (We had other emotional issues to deal with because middle daughter has down syndrome). I got over that when I saw how much oldest loved her little sister. Going from 2 kids to 3 kids was the hardest though. Just going from having 1 parent for each kid to one of you always having 2 has been hard. My 2 youngest are only 54 weeks apart, so that made it even harder. Oldest adores her baby sisters but needs her own quiet time too. Make sure you can still find time to do things with your oldest without baby coming along. When my husband was in Iraq, I would get a babysitter for a few hours so my 6 year old and I could go shopping, see a movie or just go out to eat together. She loves our special time together and so do I! I wouldn't trade being a mommy of 3 for anything, but it is a BIG adjustment for everyone from having just one. Just depends on what works for your family.

 

[Fellowship9798]

Very interesting thread as it's very timely for me. I just found out (literally 3 hours ago) that DW is pregnant again. Our first child is 10 months old, so they'll be close in age. It's good news, but I can't help thinking "What have we gotten ourselves into so quickly again?" The initial shock is just hitting now. Glad I bought our DVC membership a month ago since I probably would never have laid out the cash any time soon knowing what I know now!

Good luck to all those expecting. (I think I'm the only male posting to this thread).

 

[Alysa]

Subscribing to this great post - expecting a surprise ds in one month - dd is 3 in Feb. Thanks for the reminder about the gift for dd and the sibling class at the hospital. Funny - I thought I was the only person in the world who was crazy enought to worry that I wouldn't have enough love for two. DD was sooo hard - I am hoping ds will be laid back and easy going like his daddy. A girl can hope! We are also going to disney in March - crazy, I know but we had booked a whole family trip for 15 of us and I didn't want to let everyone down. I am envisioning a lot of time spent at the hotel - happily we have a two bedroom so there will be lots of room.

 

[zalansky]

Hi everyone!
I just had my 2nd baby, I have a DS who turned 3 on Dec. 28th and my DD was born on Sept. 10th. So they are almost 3 years apart. Even though the pregnancy with her was very much planned, when I did get pregnant I remember standing over my son sleeping in his crib (yes he still did at 2 years old) and crying, thinking I was somehow robbing him of something by having another baby. I worried on and off throughout the pregnancy that I would never love the new baby like I did my son, like many new mothers do.
At some point I realized that I was not taking anything away from my son, but instead I was giving him the gift of a sibling. Sure, they will have their spats throughout the years but I know I adore my siblings and I can't imagine not having any. We constantly talked about his baby sister while I was pregnant, to make him feel included.
When she arrived, I fell in love, madly in love with her just like I did with my son. It is really true when people say you have enough love for both of your children, you'll see. Now, I won't paint a rosy picture and say it has been easy and I am sure everyone has different experiences - but mine has been rough. The days are getting better though! In the beginning I was overwhelmed by the work of two kids. Where in the past, one of us would take care of our son (ie: give him a bath, put him to bed, etc.) and the other one of us could kick back and relax....those days were gone! No relaxing is to be had around here. Add to that getting up several times and night and then dealing with a very energetic almost 3 year old, all BOY in the morning....not my idea of easy. It took a while to get into a routine and I am still working on it.
Also, I decided to become a stay at home mom after this pregnancy, and being home all day with the two kids, when my son wants alot of attention and the baby NEEDS attention has been hard to juggle some days. I did have to go back to work for a few weeks for my 401k match and I was actually relieved to get out of the house some days. I am not June Cleaver. This has been all work, hard work... much harder than working outside the home.
I do know that as my DD gets older it will get easier. I know that in the not so distant future my kids will rather play with their friends than be seen with me and I will long for the days that they were this little again.
I love being their mother and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Can I just get a temporary second set of hands???
About the baby gift - the pediatricianin the hospital told us that it is a great idea to give a present to the older sibling and say the baby brought this for you. We did it and it worked out great. Great idea.
Good luck to all your new mommies to be and the ones trying! Post some baby pics when they are born!

 

[1of6]

My first 2 are 22 months apart. I did not feel bad about what I was doing to #1. He was getting a sister to grow up with. I did feel bad for her. She would never have me all to herself like he did.

They are now 9 & 7 and the best of friends. Yes they fight but they love each other so much!

They were 4 3/4 and almost 3 when ds was born. They played with each other while I tended to the baby.

#4 pushed me over the edge. When she was born ds7 was in 2nd grade, dd5 was in K,and ds2 1/2 was in speach class 2 days a week first thing in the morning. It was really hard to get everyone up and out the door by 7:30 after having bad nights.

This is what we have learned:
having 1 baby is hard.
baby #2 was an easy "baby stage" (they eat and sleep and ride very well everywhere in their carseat. It is no big deal to shop, eat out, anything with the baby-the 2yo is the one with issues!)
DH thinks going from 1 to 2 was the biggest leap. I did everything for #1 (except some diapers) Now he had to help while I was busy with the baby.
#3 came and we went from 1 on 1 to zone defense!
#4 came and we had a lot of activities to drag her around to. (soccer for 2k, dance class, ccd at church, speach class where parent stays and participates...) I joked with pedeatricion at a well check when asked if she was sitting up yet and I said I'm not sure, she's always strapped in her car seat!
I would not change a thing!!!!!!! Although it is always loud in our house.
By the way they are ds9, dd7, ds4,dd2

 

[java]

Very interesting thread as it's very timely for me. I just found out (literally 3 hours ago) that DW is pregnant again. Our first child is 10 months old, so they'll be close in age. It's good news, but I can't help thinking "What have we gotten ourselves into so quickly again?" The initial shock is just hitting now. Glad I bought our DVC membership a month ago since I probably would never have laid out the cash any time soon knowing what I know now!

Good luck to all those expecting. (I think I'm the only male posting to this thread).

CONGRATULATIONS!!
We worried with number 2 (we had a son that was 3 when she was born) we prepared him as best we could and she "bought"him a big red firetruck from the hospital that he LOVED. One of my favorite video moments when he opens it and goes to her and gives her a kiss and says "thank you baby" that is their first real interaction! Well then 2 was a piece of cake so we thought let's have another. And we didn't have number 3 until my dd was 5- Then surprise surprise number 4 came along when number 3 was 2- Got all that? So as much planning as we tried we to do it happened the way it was meant to happen and we rolled with it all. Good luck to you all. I wouldn't have it any other way.