OT:Crazy family feud

[RMulieri]

Uh... that's part of being a parent. You walk the floor in the middle of the night with the colicy baby. You are out of bed and down the hall in half a second when the kid has a nightmare. Nobody *likes* it we just "man up" and DO it because that's what parenting requires.

If I'd been told that the father was home I would not have cancelled all my own plans to babysit. He made those babies, he can watch them once in a while.

UH..I am quite aware what it means to be a parent.So no need to point that little nugget out to me.

I am a parent too and have been up many many nights.The only thing I am saying is that as a nightshifter it is not easy,and I can understand why maybe she did not want to bother her Dh.An emergency is a different reason.There have been many instances that my Dh will have my neighbor watch DD while I sleep because I am coming off shift.There are days I get only 3hrs sleep between nursing shifts so I can take care of my DD.If I had to "man up" as you put it every single shift I work because I mad e my daughter and that is what a parent does, I would either a)die in a fiery car wreck or b) kill a patient because I am tired.I am not dismissing the fact that both parents should chip in equally.Merely offering a defense or an explanation .If Dh was say, playing a video game and refused to watch the kids I could see being a little more po'd

 

[eliza61]

UH..I am quite aware what it means to be a parent.So no need to point that little nugget out to me.

I am a parent too and have been up many many nights.The only thing I am saying is that as a nightshifter it is not easy,and I can understand why maybe she did not want to bother her Dh.An emergency is a different reason.There have been many instances that my Dh will have my neighbor watch DD while I sleep because I am coming off shift.There are days I get only 3hrs sleep between nursing shifts so I can take care of my DD.If I had to "man up" as you put it every single shift I work because I mad e my daughter and that is what a parent does, I would either a)die in a fiery car wreck or b) kill a patient because I am tired.I am not dismissing the fact that both parents should chip in equally.Merely offering a defense or an explanation .If Dh was say, playing a video game and refused to watch the kids I could see being a little more po'd

Sorry Gotta go with DevilDuckie on this one. I'm was also a shift worker when my kids were little, regardless to whether you work morning, noon or night, whether you work at home or on the moon. Those kids are her DH's responsiblity. They were days when dh & I swore we would never get another moment of sleep and my friends are still amazed that I can sleep at a drop of a hat, in any noise (a little skill I developed) We became experts at power napping way before it was "chic". tough noodles if he doesn't want to get up, who does?

Op, stick to your guns. Your first priority is and will always be your family. Yeah it's cool to help out but this situation can go on forever. People buy these mcmansions thinking they can hang in there for a while not realizing how hard it is to do this for 20-30 years.

 

[sunnyday123]

I do see your point, but until you work nights you really can not relate.I have been a night shifter for 10 years.Trust me short of the house burning down, I do not like to be disturbed.A night shifter still does not have normal sleep and it is EXTREMELY HARD on the body.Would you want to be woken up at 200am and told you have to stay awake and coherent to watch your kids .I do agree that for a Drs appt , maybe he could have gotten up for a little while, but as a fellow night shifter I can also see his side of things.

I think her point is that she isn't the one working nights, and it's not her family. It sounds like a pre-scheduled Dr's appointment, so really the problem is the Mom not making prior arrangements. She knows Dh works nights. She knew there was an appointment. My ex wouldn't "watch" ( hate that!) our DD so I could go to the grocery store, Xmas shopping, etc. So I made do, but I would not have made someone else rearrange their schedule.