OT - Considering delaying kindergarten.

[disney_family_1247]

I totally agree about finding out about your local K. I've heard of these wonderful places that still offer 1/2 days filled with imagination and fun. That's not a reality where I live (Louisiana, which ranks 49th in education in the country). My nephew started K in a "great" school district that is actually on level with the rest of the country. He was there for over 7 hours a day with one 20 minute recess. He came home every day with a folder full of worksheets he'd completed that day. That's not something I want my children subjected to.

I forgot to mention that several credible studies have indicated that kids aren't cognitively ready for sitting at a desk kind of learning until they are around age 9...

 

[Sazuburns]

The US schooling system seems very different from the UK one! In a nutshell, the school year runs from 1st September-31st August (although there is obviously a summer break, usually from mid-late July until beginning September, although Scottish schools break up and go back earlier).

Most children start nursery (preschool?) here during the school year they will turn 4, so they could be anything from only just 3 years to nearly 4 years when they start. This year is a short school day and is all about preparing them for school by socialising them. There is no obligation to send them during this year, but many parents do as the nurseries are often attached to the schools and there is a larger chance of getting them in to the school if they have attended the nursery.

'Reception' year is for children who will turn 5 during the school year, so again, anything from just-4 to nearly-5; parents have a legal obligation to ensure that their child is receiving an education by the school term after they have turned 5, whether this is done by sending them to school or by home educating. A child who turns 5 in the term at the very end of the school year and whose parents choose not to send him/her until they have to, will therefore start the next term by going straight into Y1 (missing Reception altogether) unless there is a specific reason to be kept down. Similarly, children tend to stay with their own year group unless there are exceptional circumstances.

During the Reception year, the children do a lot of play-based learning, but they also learn to read using synthetic phonics. My younger son who was 5 in March has just finished his Reception year, and can read simple books.

Y1 (ages 6-7) and Y2 (ages 7-8) are Key Stage 1, and Years 3-6 are Key Stage 2, with this being the end of Primary school (aged 10-11).

Obviously, in the earlier years, the children who are young for their school year may be at a disadvantage, but the teachers all provide differentiated work for the children, according to their needs, and teaching assistants will often work with small groups of children within the class of 30.

It sounds to me like your son is ready in many ways, and as far as the dressing himself goes, being with a group of children who are doing things for themselves may spur him onto being independent. On the other hand, if you are really concerned that he isn't ready, you should trust your instincts. It is worth finding out what they do in Kindergarten, what age range they will have next year, and speak to his Pre-K teacher again to ask why she thinks he is ready.

S x

 

[Girly_Qs]

How much preschool exposure has your ds had?

My dd (now 4.5yo) began preschool just before she turned 3 (a half-day program, 2 mornings a week. This past year (as she turned 4) she went 3 days/wk (again, 1/2 days). She starts our state sponsored Pre-K program in a couple weeks and will be going 5 days/wk for a longer day (6.5hrs - which inlcudes a mandatory hour of 'quiet time' in addition to lots of play time). She would be *devastated* not to start K on time - she's been begging to go 5 days/wk since about 1/2 way through her very first preschool year (but that's just my child).

Personally, I guess I'd homeschool before I truly 'held back.' If you feel your (the proverbial 'your' not directed specifically at OP!) child is not ready to learn in the way your district teaches, it doesn't mean they're not ready to begin schooling. Then again, I'm a firm believer that *everyone* homeschools (whether they acknowledge/maximize it or not)!

 

[Tikicampers]

Personally, I guess I'd homeschool before I truly 'held back.' If you feel your (the proverbial 'your' not directed specifically at OP!) child is not ready to learn in the way your district teaches, it doesn't mean they're not ready to begin schooling. Then again, I'm a firm believer that *everyone* homeschools (whether they acknowledge/maximize it or not)!

Do you mean homeschool for K and then send into first? I wasn't sure. As a current K, and former 1st teacher, I would caution against that. First grade teachers expect the kids to come in knowing how things work at school. I spend a huge part of my year, simply teaching the children the daily routine at school. This would be very hard to do at home, esp since a parent would likely not know all of the school's routines. I think it would be very hard for the child to start out first grade not knowing them.

 

[Girly_Qs]

Do you mean homeschool for K and then send into first? I wasn't sure. As a current K, and former 1st teacher, I would caution against that. First grade teachers expect the kids to come in knowing how things work at school. I spend a huge part of my year, simply teaching the children the daily routine at school. This would be very hard to do at home, esp since a parent would likely not know all of the school's routines. I think it would be very hard for the child to start out first grade not knowing them.

That's a very good point. I'm not sure exactly how I'd approach it. Mainly because I'm confident it's not an issue I'll face - my dd has had 2 years of preschool 'routine' now and will have a year of Pre-K under her belt before she starts K, so I'm confident she'll be ready - not only in terms of academics and socialization, but also in terms of understand what sorts of things (following instructions, listening, lines, etc) will be expected of her. I should also say that her birthday is smack in the middle of the year (cut-off wise) so, it's never really been a consideration of ours (my dd#2 is several months from the cut-off date, but from the sound of it could end up being one of the youngest in her class . . . I'm okay with that). As such, it's a tough one for me to broach.

You make a very good point though. I believe that school is about so much more than 'book' learning, and that that begins (perhaps is even more important) in these early years.

 

[3jsmommy]

To the UK poster actually your school system sounds very similar to ours, except for the summer vaca. dates & titles of course.
To the OP my son (April baby) just finished K. & it is a very long day & much different than when I attended! He is reading "learn to read" books & adding & subtracting, he is pretty shy, but came out of his shell & matured alot this year, he was ready, even though the adjustment to full day wasn't easy at first (tears in the morning exhausted at the end of the day) he was a pro by June.
My second son will be 5 in Jan. our cut off is Dec. 1st If it was Feb.1 I wouldn't think twice about delaying K. He simply would not be ready this year & I would have no reservations waiting a year. It is a much better alternative than struggling to keep up or being left back. He'll have the benefit of being more mature for sports, social situations & academics...I don't see the negatives in waiting for the child.
My third DS is a Sept. babe we'll have to see about him...good luck w/ your decision!!

 

[splashmtnfan]

I would say go with your gut, not what you think other people will think of you. My personal experience has shown me that boys do not do as well going to school at an early age. Most of our schools here have special before-school tutoring programs for June/July/August birthdays because the success rate just is not in the numbers. Our cut-off date is Sept. 1, my DD is 7 going on 8 (August 23), and going into second grade GT program. I did not really "hold her back" I just was a Montessori teacher when it was time for her to start kindergarten and had a wonderful opportunity for free-tuition for her to do her kindergarten year at the school where I taught. So anyway while doing her K there I realized how socially she seemed "shy" in that type of setting and realized she needed more exposure to other children. She would probably have been fine, but she is very tiny for her age and the other children seemed to run circles around her on the playground. Bottom-line, if I had not witnessed this I would have sent her to first grade after the Montessori school and she probably would have adjusted. My instinct however, told me NO! I sent her to K the next year at public school.
P.S. She really was supposed to be a late Nov./early Dec. baby but was born EXTREMELY premature, so actually if she had not had the complexities of being born early and the struggles she went through I would not have had to make the choice anyway she would have been born after the cut-off and that would have been that!
I say go with YOUR GUT and do not worry about what anybody else thinks.
DH 41 ME 41 DD 7

 

[SplashMountainMama]

I agree with others that have said you have to take other factors into consideration besides birthdate when making a decision like this. It's generally true that girls are ready earlier than boys and those with earlier birthdates are ready earlier, but the key word is generally. I've taught kindergarten and I know that when discussing a child's difficulties or advanced abilities teachers will often make comments like..."Well, he's a December baby (meaning late)" or "He's a February baby (meaning early". There are also many circumstances where children do not fit the mold. Just because your child is older by birthdate doesn't necessarily mean that he/she will be the biggest, brightest, fastest, etc. in their class or vice versa. There are always going to be children who struggle through school regardless of how much you may hold them back.

I also really dislike when I hear children or their parents claiming to be bored because they are so much more advanced than their peers. IMO, a truly gifted child usually won't be bored in class because these are the kinds of kids who thrive on learning through observation, research and internal stimulation so they can find things to do without constant teacher direction.

 

[Tikicampers]

I also really dislike when I hear children or their parents claiming to be bored because they are so much more advanced than their peers. IMO, a truly gifted child usually won't be bored in class because these are the kinds of kids who thrive on learning through observation, research and internal stimulation so they can find things to do without constant teacher direction.

I have heard so many teachers say this, and based on my experience it holds true. When I think back to all the really smart kids I have had, they all seemed engaged no matter what we were doing. They were able to bring whatever we were doing up to their level (ok, I may have helped a little, but not much).

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

My sister had a similar problem, but her son was 2 days too young to start kindergarden so had to wait a year. Academically he did well, socially not as well due to the fact that he was bigger than the other children in the class (and he WAS quite tall for his age)so everyone, both in school and in the community at large seemed to expect him to be more mature and advanced than his actual age. It caused him quite a few problems and frustrations...

 

[Girly_Qs]

I also really dislike when I hear children or their parents claiming to be bored because they are so much more advanced than their peers. IMO, a truly gifted child usually won't be bored in class because these are the kinds of kids who thrive on learning through observation, research and internal stimulation so they can find things to do without constant teacher direction.

Oh, I found *plenty* of things to challenge myself "without constant teacher direction" - that's precisely WHY one of them wanted so desperately to put me on Ritalin!

Delaying so that a child can perform *at* grade level is one thing, delaying in an effort to have them artificially perform 'above' grade level is another entirely, IMO.

I have a similar problem to pp's sister - my 4.5yo is very tall (Daddy's 6'5") and hyperverbal (don't worry, I don't think she's Einstein, I just also know that most 4yo's aren't into palindromes). As such we get *all* sorts of dirty looks when she behaves like a (perfectly age-appropriate) 4yo - since they're *sure* she's 5 or 6.

 

[Princess-in-Training]

Hi everyone! OP here!

We have decided to send him through another year of preschool. Maturity-wise, we just don't think he's ready for kindergarten. It's all-day here, and he'd be expected to sit and do work on his own, and he's just not ready for that. Plus, the class will have >25 kids - the teacher will not be able to give him the extra attention that he'll need. Socially and emotionally, well, he's just behind his peers. Spoke to our school, and to his preschool, and I think, for him, it will be best to wait another year.

So, I'm going to start the process next week to register him for Pre-K. Thank you all SO MUCH for your input!! I greatly valued it and read each and every one!

 

[Nanu57v]

I'm kind of sleepy and didn't read all the responses, but research has shown that any benefits gained by delaying school start are evened out by 3rd grade. So basically it won't matter by 3rd grade whether you start him or not. Personally, I LOVED being one of the youngest in my class. I LOVED that I graduated at 17 where most others were 18. I felt like I was achieving more at a younger age. Some people aren't like that, but that's just me.

 

[Nanu57v]

Oops sorry, just read your decision.

 

[MontyMontyMOnty]

Thanks for this thread!
We have just made the decision to hold our 5yo back for "one more year". We had been on the fence, but I think it is the right thing to do. She just turned 5 a few days ago, and is just socially not ready (shyness and relating better to younger kids).
We are in another of the low end education states (Yay South Carolina #50 out of 50 for education! Way to go! (not).
Anyway, because of that, we don't send our kids to the public school--class sizes are huge, and there are constant problems.
Our private school has worked with us in making this decision, and she is in a PK4-5 class group, all kindergarden prep, and 6 of the 12 kids will be 5 before Oct 1, so I think it is a good choice for her.
We have really agonized over this (who wouldn't--we all want the best for our kids!), and the posts here have been most helpful

 

[jckdisneybound]

I guess my first response is, if people think the cut off dates are too early then they need to get the school board to change them. If a child meets a cut-off date, then how can they be early?

My experience. My DD turned 5 last Sept 10th, the cut off date for K was Oct 31st. She had attended 3 y/o preschool 2 mornings/week and 4 y/o PreK 5 mornings/week. She attended K last year. We moved down to FL, where the cut off is 9/1. She missed the cut off for first grade by 8 days even though she attended a public K. School board said she had to do K again. OK whatever, for all the reasons people stated above. I was a young starter for K, I turned 5 early Nov. I remember being in K and school being hard, not liking school, I always had to work harder than the other kids. I also need to mention was I started puberty in 6th Grade. I cannot image my daughter being like me and being in 4th grade if she did K again.

School wise my DD is NOTHING like me, catches on easy, LOVES school and is very bright. They are putting her into 1st grade, will I regret it 5 years down the road, maybe. But we will deal with that when it comes.

Oh btw, I have a 50in, 70lb almost 6 year old. She had just turned 2 and I would get snide comments of how come she wasn't potty trained, same with why aren't you in school today when she was 3 and 4.