OT - cellphone at what age??

[TashaRVT]

Hey everybody!
So here's my situation: dd's 11th bday is coming up quickly (Sept 12th), we have NO clue what to get her!

DH wants to get her a cellphone,

I think she's too young. What does everyone else think?? Sound off!!

 

[ilovepete]

I had one when I started driving at 16, so it does seem young TO ME but it seems like kids are getting them younger and younger. Maybe a prepaid one, and she can pay for the extra minutes herself after the ones you get her run out? Then maybe she wouldn't be on it ALL the time.

 

[rjan67]

When she is old enough to buy one and pay the monthly bill.

 

[Northstar]

If you get her one, make sure it spends night time in your custody. And tell her you'll be looking through her texts and call records.

I think it's too young to have unlimited access to her very own cellphone, but not too young to have a cellphone to use away from home and in her leisure time. Just my opinion.

My DD age 12 doesn't have her own phone yet but she and her dad share a cheap prepaid known simply as "The Phone." She takes it when she goes to the mall or movies with a friend, to sports practices, when she rides her bike around the neighborhood... but I put my foot down about taking it to school. Darn kids are supposed to leave them in their lockers but they're texting all day under their desks.

 

[Debbie]

My daughter got a pay as you go for her birthday in March. She turned 16. Until then, when she needed a cell (at the mall, going to music lessons etc) she used her Dad's. She asked me to buy a $20 monthly card instead of her allowance (saves me $$ ). Of that $20, she puts $10 text plan on and the rest is (expensive) talk time, which she rarely uses. She has never had to top up her phone beyond that allowance. Minutes roll over, I believe. IMHO an 11 year old does not need a cell phone.....especially at school!

 

[treehugnmama]

I personally worry about the health risks associated with cell phone use. The studys have proven increased risk of brain tumors. The good news is kids are mostly texting so that lowers the risk as the phone isn't beside the brain. I know we can't reduce all of the risks that are out there but for THIS reason I am trying to postpone the cell phone for as long as I can.

 

[dancin Disney style]

I also have an 11yo that wants a cell. She has been asking for 2 years because some of her friends have them. I have always said no but if she needed one now I would let her have one. My conditions for 'needing' one are things like walking home alone after school. Which she does not and probably won't until at least grade 7. She has bugged me so much about getting a phone that I have said she can have one when she is 13...which will be grade 7.

She will be getting a prepaid and will have to work for the money to buy the minutes.

I very much agree with the PP that mentioned having custody of the phone at night and looking through the text messages. I look at my DD emails all the time...funny, she deletes from her inbox but not the delete folder It will probably be the only time that I will have a leg up on my kids with regard to the computer. She also doesn't realize that I read new messages and then mark them as unread. She was only allowed to have the email with the condition that I have the password and that I will be going in there to look around. You have to keep them a tight leash. If given any opportunity they will get themselves in trouble. My DD thought she had me fooled...she asked for a Facebook account and I said no. She did it anyway....and lied about her age to get on. She was told on by her older sister who saw the name in the friend finder.

 

[BELLEDOZER]

I have a problem with kids having cell phones at a young age, simply for the point do they really need it to keep in contact with their friends. I don't have a problem with getting the kids a computer when they are 11 or 12, a simple one that I can keep an eye on to help them with their homework, but unless they can come up with the money to pay the bill every month, my answer would be no. I thinks with kids that age it's more about the pier pressure issue in that if their friends have one, then they have to have one in order to fit in.

 

[sjsjbrook]

I waited until it was neccessary. My DD was 14 and going into grade 9. She was taking the city bus for 50 minutes everyday to and from school and I wanted to be able to get a hold of her or her to be able to get a hold of me if something came up, like she missed a bus.

If she didn't have to go that far to get to school I don't think I would have gotten her one. All she does all day is text her friends and thanks to texting she has tennis elbow and tendonitis in both her arms.

 

[BitsnBearsMom]

Personally I don't believe in cell phones for kids - unless there is a good reason - such as a long city bus ride to school or a long walk to/from school. My ds' is 16yrs old and he still doesn't have a cell phone - we share mine. He takes it when he's doing the long bike rides, going out with his friends, heading off somewhere he's going to be on his own. I just don't see why any 11yr old (or 12, 13, 14yr old) needs a cell phone. If it's to talk to friends most houses have a home phone and/or internet!!

Why not look at some special lessons for her birthday - or a special outing somewhere she's always wanted to go!

 

[sean-1966]

OK, I'm not a parent and it definitely looks like I'm in the minority but I don't have a problem with a kid having a phone. I think it's just another was for the child to stay in touch with the parents, "Hey the movie was longer than we thought and I'll be a little late." That sort of thing. Once a child is mature enough to realize that you get X amount of minutes a month and that's it he or she should have one. I think of it as a parent communicating to kid thing not a kid communicating to kid thing. But, like I said I'm not a parent so I'm on the outside looking in.

 

[DisneyRookie2007]

WAY too young.

My 16 year old daughter wanted one when she was younger. Now that she's working part-time and can afford one, she doesn't even consider buying one - go figure

 

[dancin Disney style]

OK, I'm not a parent and it definitely looks like I'm in the minority but I don't have a problem with a kid having a phone. I think it's just another was for the child to stay in touch with the parents, "Hey the movie was longer than we thought and I'll be a little late." That sort of thing. Once a child is mature enough to realize that you get X amount of minutes a month and that's it he or she should have one. I think of it as a parent communicating to kid thing not a kid communicating to kid thing. But, like I said I'm not a parent so I'm on the outside looking in.

We're talkin about kids that are in the 9-11 range. They are too young to be out with friends at movies and things. I think most will agree that when the kids are old enough to be out on their own that is when they will have a cell phone.

I can tell you from experience that they way you feel towards parenting issues it very different when you are in the middle of it than when you are not.

 

[magickingdommommy]

I think it depends on what she is going to use it for.

I bought a pay as you go one for ds when he started high school (grade seven). He doesn't really use it to call friends (only a few texts). I put $100 on it and it lasted him a year. They took out the pay phones at his school so he uses it to let me know if he has to stay after school for a practice, or if band has been canceled so I can pick him up earlier. And I can let him know if I am running behind schedule and will be late picking him up.

Now he wants to buy a new fancier one, but I have told him that he will have to wait until he can afford it and the monthly fees - so it won't be 'till he gets a job.

 

[Mickey's Best Girl]

When she is old enough to buy one and pay the monthly bill.

Exacty what I was going to say. My DD got one when she was 16 and employed. I"m not paying those bills too!

 

[Disney_Mama]

My DD got her's when she turned 12. We got her the phone but she paid the bills with a paper route. At 12 she started to go to the mall with her friends so it was very nice to be able to get ahold of her when we needed to. If she is not going anywhere alone I don't see the need for it.

 

[AndyMcV]

I have a problem with kids having cell phones at a young age, simply for the point do they really need it to keep in contact with their friends. I don't have a problem with getting the kids a computer when they are 11 or 12, a simple one that I can keep an eye on to help them with their homework, but unless they can come up with the money to pay the bill every month, my answer would be no. I thinks with kids that age it's more about the pier pressure issue in that if their friends have one, then they have to have one in order to fit in.

I fully agree with this. I think part of the problem is some parents inibility to be a child's parent instead of being like a child's friend. They cave to a constant "I NEED a cellphone!!". Do they REALLY need a cellphone or is it because 1 or 2 of their friends have one? Perhaps I'm a little old school but really does a 10 or 11 year old child need a cellphone? IMHO, I don't think so.

 

[vacation_junkie]

Hey everybody!
So here's my situation: dd's 11th bday is coming up quickly (Sept 12th), we have NO clue what to get her!

DH wants to get her a cellphone,

I think she's too young. What does everyone else think?? Sound off!!

We bought one for our son at the beginning of the school year last year when he was 9. It was not bought to chit chat with his friends everyday... its was to call us only.
It came in handy the first day when the buses were running way behind. His teacher called me from it.
He has strict rules with it. He knows it is not to come out of his back pack at school or on the bus.
He goes to daycare a few days a month and he calls me when he arrives at daycare. Gives me peace of mind that he arrived fine. He has made a couple of calls with my permission.
I like it because if he's at a friends down the street I can check up on him, and call him when its time for dinner...etc.


What about an ipod touch! My son uses his every day!

 

[irisesareblue]

When she is old enough to buy one and pay the monthly bill.

I agree !! That is what we did with our two girls - when they were 16 they each got a "pay as you go" cell phone that they paid for with their own money. Then, when they were 18 and able to sign their own contracts, they got their own cell phones on a plan. I think it teaches them responsibility, however, they often borrowed my cell if they were going out with a friend and needed a phone to contact me.

I was also oneof those parents who had the computer out in the living room where I could see whatever they put on the screen.

They are 20 and 22 now and by their own admission, glad I was so strict with them. I was just glad not to have to pay the cell bills other parents I knew were paying

 

[Belle599]

This is a hard question! I don't have any children, but if I did I would imagine that it would give some peace of mind being able to contact your kids at all times.

That being said, I was never given a cell by my parents and I got my first phone when I could pay for it myself - I think it was pay as you go b/c that is what I could afford from my min. wage job as a teen.

For those teens who sign a monthly contract I hope they know that a cell bill can show on your credit report. So it could be a good way to build a credit history perhaps.

Lots of good points in this thread!