OT: Can you share your best kid appropriate joke?

[mouseketeer_mom]

PLEASE!!!! I'm begging! My kids seem to be in a joke telling phase and they know exactly three!

I'm desperate! My little comedians need better or, at least, additional material.

These are the one we seem to repeat 12 to 15 times daily...

Child: Why did the orange only make it half way up the hill?
Me: Hmmm, I don't know. Why?
Child: 'cause it ran out of juice!

Child: What do you call a snail on a ship?
Me: Hmmm, I don't know. What?
Child: A snailor!!!!

Child: Knock, knock
Me: Who's there?
Child: Banana
Me: Banana who?
Child: Knock, Knock
Me: Who's there?
Child: Banana
Me: Banana who
Child: Knock, knock
Me: Who's there:
Child: Banana
Me (in a dramatic, exasperated voice): WHO'S THERE?!?!?
Child: Orange
Me: Orange who?
Child: Orange you glad I didn't I say Banana?



Help! Do you know any kid friendly jokes?

 

[Luv Bunnies]

What's purple and does magic tricks?

Merlin the Grape!


Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because Colonol Sanders was chasing him!

 

[LISAVWL]

knock-knock
who's there?
susie lou
susie lou who
I didn't know you could yodel!


knock-knock
who's there?
justin
justin who?
justin the neighborhood, thought I'd stop by!


can you tell my kids are into knock-knock jokes? DD loves the Doodlebops!

 

[tacomaranch]

What do you call a dear with one eye?
Good eye dear (idea er) or bad idea r

What do you call a dear with one eye and no legs?
Still a good idea r' or bad idea r'

 

[DVCLiz]

Why does a hummingbird hum?

Because he doesn't know the words....

 

[LoveMyBoys]

Why did the computer go to the doctor?
- Because it had a virus

Why did a cookie go to the doctor?
- Because it was feeling crummy

 

[LorlovesStitch]

Knock-Knock
Who's There?
Boo
Boo Who?
Why are you crying?

Knock-Knock
Who's There?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Cargo beep beep!

What does a gingerbread man put on his bed?
Cookie sheets!

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!

Hope these help!!! Believe me, I know there is nothing worse than kids repeating the same joke over, and over, and over......

 

[belle&beast]

My DD loves this one:
Why did Tigger look in the potty?
He was looking for Pooh!

Maybe not as kid friendly as I thought...

 

[JESW]

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

 

[jnordan]

My now four year old tells this joke constantly:

"What did the negative rooster say?"

"****-a-doodle-DON'T!"

 

[jnordan]

I've been edited!

 

[LaraK]

(point to your nose)
Question-"what's this?"
Response-a nose
Question-"how do you spell it?"
Response-n-o-s-e
"no! you spell it i-t"

Sorry, this is a family classic!

Knock knock
who's there
Ila
Ila who?
I love you

What's black and white and red all over?
the newspaper

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

This could keep you busy for a while . . .

http://www.ahajokes.com/kids_jokes.html

This site has knock-knock jokes with almost every kids' name in it - fun!

Lots of other sites come up if you search on kids' jokes. I do this to put notes in DD's lunch box. I don't have any particular site bookmarked - just whatever pops up on the day I search.

 

[PrincessParty]

Q: Where does a ship go when it's sick?
A: To the dock.

 

[disneyfanfamily]

Why was the baby strawberry sad?

Because his mom got in a jam....

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

My DD loves this one:
Why did Tigger look in the potty?
He was looking for Pooh!

Maybe not as kid friendly as I thought...

I just read this to my DS7, he thinks it's the funnies tthing he ever heard!

I've found that until kids are old enough for jokes of a decidely... ahem, "adult" nature, nothing is funnier than bathroom humor.

 

[princess stich]

This one is my daughter's favorite!

What kind of nut doesn't have a shell?

A doughnut!

 

[CRSNDSNY]

What is black and white and goes, "Boo boo boo"?

A cow with a cold.

 

[LISAVWL]

I just heard another

knock-knock
who's there?
voodoo
voodoo who?
voodoo you think you are?

 

[GatorGal]

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.