OT: Can I just vent please?

[stitchlover]

This thread is soooo old but I thought I would update you, in case anyone is interested. I just received a phone call from my mom that she found our daughter's iPod Touch in her car earlier today. DD has saved over $200 towards purchasing a new one. She doesn't know that it has been found. We are waiting for her to get home from NYC (school trip) to tell her.

 

[DisneyCrazyX5]

Glad it was found, maybe my son will finally find his red gameboy soon too.

 

[Mrs D]

Wow! I can't believe it was found after so long. I bet she'll be thrilled!

 

[cm8]

This thread is soooo old but I thought I would update you, in case anyone is interested. I just received a phone call from my mom that she found our daughter's iPod Touch in her car earlier today. DD has saved over $200 towards purchasing a new one. She doesn't know that it has been found. We are waiting for her to get home from NYC (school trip) to tell her.

 

[mdvlprof]

Glad ipod was found. $$ can be used for the next thing she loses.

 

[dalt01]

This thread is soooo old but I thought I would update you, in case anyone is interested. I just received a phone call from my mom that she found our daughter's iPod Touch in her car earlier today. DD has saved over $200 towards purchasing a new one. She doesn't know that it has been found. We are waiting for her to get home from NYC (school trip) to tell her.

ask your mom if she happened to find an internet reciept for a 7 day pass to UNIV-IOA in there too. it MUST be somewhere

 

[MomlvsGoofy]

This is strange I forgot about this post. Update I found my daughters Ipod in her desk drawer under some old school papers. Looks like she just pulled the papers out of her backpack and shoved them in the draw not realizing the Ipod was in the middle. So after 7 months she can finally use all those Itunes cards she received as gifts!

 

[mommyceratops]

My 2DS and I have been going through this and they are A LOT younger. It mostly seem they break things. The first thing was only $5 and I made them replace it. It was easy for them to do. Now I dread when something expensive breaks.

I have a friend who takes a "tax" out of her kids allowance and puts that money to the side and when they break something/loose it. It comes out of that money. Then they have to loose that savings. I am sure there is something they get when they do not use the money. Not sure how it all works, but I thought it was clever.

I am guilty of replacing things too. It is hard. But let her go with out for awhile and she might catch on.

 

[disneyholic family]

Can I just take a moment and vent about a completely off topic subject?

My 14 year old daughter is going to do me in. At some point in the past month she has lost her iPod touch, paid $300 for that approximately a year ago. I have torn the house apart looking for it and can't find it. We don't let her take it into restaurants so I know she didn't leave it somewhere like that. There are a few things that really make me mad...one, I'm tearing the house apart by myself. She isn't really looking all that hard. The other thing is she has mentioned to us at least 2 times that of course we will be purchasing a new one. We have told her both times no, we will not. Her answer is "But why? It's not my fault." I would like to know WHOSE FAULT IS IT THEN? I told her that 50% of my decision to not replace it is that she keeps saying it's not her fault. That she isn't accepting any responsibility.

Then yesterday she left her cell phone at a friends ($165 cell phone) and then when we went to the Mavericks' game last night we got to the door to go back to the car, looked at her and no winter coat ($100 winter coat), she left it back at the seat. When my husband took off to go back to the seats to look for her coat I told her you need to be more responsible with your belongings. She looked at me and said I told you I wouldn't remember to keep up with it. So basically blaming us for not keeping up with it for her.

Yes, the last two items were recovered but still! I put in the prices of everything to show that in the last month that child has either lost or walked away from $565 worth of belongings. I don't know what to do. Last year when we were at WDW her cell phone fell out of her pocket when she was sitting down at AK and that had to be reported lost/stolen and replaced. Thank goodness the AT&T sales guy talked me into insurance on that. She wants me to carry her cell phone, her camera and an autograph book in the parks and I have told her I've done that for 4 years, I'm done. If she wants all these items in the parks she will need to start carrying a backpack. But I have to say I'm scared to death that she is going to lose it all the first day.

So does anyone have any suggestions, words of wisdom, anything? I feel like she is 14 years old and at some point she has to take some personal responsibility but I think it's going to kill me first.

unfortunately, my 25 year old daughter still has a tendency to misplace (lose) things - it drives me INSANE!!

 

[peanut1967]

If the phone is about safety then replace it with a cheap one, in the UK we can pick them up for £15, cheap but it does the job.

The ipod is not essentail and if she wants another...tell her christmas is comming and to put it on her list.

Or tell her once she saves 3/4 of the money for a new ipod then you will contribute the rest.

The coat, well I would no longer be buying her expensive coats, look in the sales.

BTW my daughter was around the same age when she lost her phone, and I didnt buy a new one, I gave her one of my old ones, and I dont do the all singing all dancing ones...she was not best pleased and it was a while before Christmas. lol

Angie

 

[polineedyan]

Can I just take a moment and vent about a completely off topic subject?

My 14 year old daughter is going to do me in. At some point in the past month she has lost her iPod touch, paid $300 for that approximately a year ago. I have torn the house apart looking for it and can't find it. We don't let her take it into restaurants so I know she didn't leave it somewhere like that. There are a few things that really make me mad...one, I'm tearing the house apart by myself. She isn't really looking all that hard. The other thing is she has mentioned to us at least 2 times that of course we will be purchasing a new one. We have told her both times no, we will not. Her answer is "But why? It's not my fault." I would like to know WHOSE FAULT IS IT THEN? I told her that 50% of my decision to not replace it is that she keeps saying it's not her fault. That she isn't accepting any responsibility.

Then yesterday she left her cell phone at a friends ($165 cell phone) and then when we went to the Mavericks' game last night we got to the door to go back to the car, looked at her and no winter coat ($100 winter coat), she left it back at the seat. When my husband took off to go back to the seats to look for her coat I told her you need to be more responsible with your belongings. She looked at me and said I told you I wouldn't remember to keep up with it. So basically blaming us for not keeping up with it for her.

Yes, the last two items were recovered but still! I put in the prices of everything to show that in the last month that child has either lost or walked away from $565 worth of belongings. I don't know what to do. Last year when we were at WDW her cell phone fell out of her pocket when she was sitting down at AK and that had to be reported lost/stolen and replaced. Thank goodness the AT&T sales guy talked me into insurance on that. She wants me to carry her cell phone, her camera and an autograph book in the parks and I have told her I've done that for 4 years, I'm done. If she wants all these items in the parks she will need to start carrying a backpack. But I have to say I'm scared to death that she is going to lose it all the first day.

So does anyone have any suggestions, words of wisdom, anything? I feel like she is 14 years old and at some point she has to take some personal responsibility but I think it's going to kill me first.

Been there, done that. In our case, after having a psych exam it was determined that the things you are describing are symptoms of ADD. I would look into that.
Secondly, as a parent, words only go so far. Most often, words do not reach a 14 year old. They dont understand the value of money, at all, period. SO, for us to use the 'do you know how much that cost?' never worked at all. If anything, it promoted guilt and shame, not direction.
Our psychologist also talked about emotional stock. When kids are given things as gifts, they have no stock in the item, it has no worth beyond its use. Its expected.
We have made sure that anything we would be upset about losing because of monetary value will, A)be partially paid for by the child, and/or B)will be given as a reward, predetermined, never spontanaeous, for an achievement.
But as I tell my wife when she pours their drinks as toddlers, "only give them what youre willing to clean up" and that bodes true here, as well. If the kids have no stock in the item, we only spend what we're willing to throw away..

 

[Jitzy]

This thread is soooo old but I thought I would update you, in case anyone is interested. I just received a phone call from my mom that she found our daughter's iPod Touch in her car earlier today. DD has saved over $200 towards purchasing a new one. She doesn't know that it has been found. We are waiting for her to get home from NYC (school trip) to tell her.

This is strange I forgot about this post. Update I found my daughters Ipod in her desk drawer under some old school papers. Looks like she just pulled the papers out of her backpack and shoved them in the draw not realizing the Ipod was in the middle. So after 7 months she can finally use all those Itunes cards she received as gifts!

I'm glad that the items were found! Stitchlover, I am looking forward to hearing her reaction to the ipod being found. Also, it's funny that it was in the grandparents car all this time. I thought they looked for it. Must have really been wedged in between the cushions!

 

[makelab]

This thread is soooo old but I thought I would update you, in case anyone is interested. I just received a phone call from my mom that she found our daughter's iPod Touch in her car earlier today. DD has saved over $200 towards purchasing a new one. She doesn't know that it has been found. We are waiting for her to get home from NYC (school trip) to tell her.

maybe you should "forget" to tell her it was found, let her buy a new one, then tell her, and then you proudly claim "It was not my fault!"

what's good for the goose.....or however that saying goes.

i was reading the original post, and i try to apply the golden rule to situations like that. if my kids don't care, or refuse to accept responsibility, then neither do i. it is really tough sometimes, but i think they are slowing getting it.

 

[stitchlover]

I'm glad that the items were found! Stitchlover, I am looking forward to hearing her reaction to the ipod being found. Also, it's funny that it was in the grandparents car all this time. I thought they looked for it. Must have really been wedged in between the cushions!

Her dad correctly predicted her reaction. He held the iPod out in his hand and you could see her processing what she was seeing then this look of disappointment on her face. She was really excited about the rumored new iPod Touch in September. We told her she is more than welcome to purchase the new one when it comes out. It's her money, she can do what she wants. We shall see what she decides to do.

 

[stitchlover]

I am bringing this thread back out because I have ANOTHER update. Well she decided to go ahead and save her money to buy the new version that was just released. She wanted the 32GB and had saved $250. So as part of her birthday present last Sunday we said we will cover the rest. So we went and bought it last Sunday. Last night I knocked it off the kitchen counter when I lifted her jacket up and it dropped on the hard floor and shattered the glass. This story never ends!!!

 

[EDuke98080]

I am bringing this thread back out because I have ANOTHER update. Well she decided to go ahead and save her money to buy the new version that was just released. She wanted the 32GB and had saved $250. So as part of her birthday present last Sunday we said we will cover the rest. So we went and bought it last Sunday. Last night I knocked it off the kitchen counter when I lifted her jacket up and it dropped on the hard floor and shattered the glass. This story never ends!!!

Aw I am so sorry that happened.

 

[dmccarty]

I am bringing this thread back out because I have ANOTHER update. Well she decided to go ahead and save her money to buy the new version that was just released. She wanted the 32GB and had saved $250. So as part of her birthday present last Sunday we said we will cover the rest. So we went and bought it last Sunday. Last night I knocked it off the kitchen counter when I lifted her jacket up and it dropped on the hard floor and shattered the glass. This story never ends!!!

Oh MY!

Did your daughter say it was your fault?

Tis life.

DW and I were having a disagreement about letting the kids buy iTouches. They had saved their money but the DW thought the kids were too young to spend that much money on something easily broken or lost. I figured that it was as good a time as any for them to learn to be responsible. And with iTouch money at stake it would be a quick lesson if the lesson was needed.

DW was very firm that we should not do this so we told the kids no. Our oldest spent her money on a big Buzz and Woody toys, clothes and some other stuff. Grrr. She would have been better off with the iTouch.

The kids kept nagging though and the DW gave up. The youngest had enough money to buy but the oldest had spent most of her money. They got the iTouches but there is a piece of paper on the fridge keeping track of how much she owes on the iTouch.

So far they have not lost the iTouches for long. A week or so seems to be the longest the iTouches were missing.

They are missing a cheap cell phone.

<sigh>

Later,
Dan

 

[AWHOFAN]

You know the answer. Get her the least expensive items always that are not required by law, food, and shelter and education parent have to pay for. Then get her a J-O-B it will stop when she has to pay for it. A $300 I pod is more than adults with a job can afford. I see $20-80 at most like mine. Sometimes as parents we get our children what we want not what the CHILD needs. I’ve messed up too. Relax it will change over time.

 

[Iwant2BAprincess]

threads like this are why I am trying to change my oldest DS now. He is almost 9 and would leave his head if it wasn't attached to his body. He is a habitual offender of leaving his lunch box-nothing has worked, till now. The last time I told him I had had it so I was going to find the cutest pinkest lunchbox I could and that is what he would be using whenever he forgot his lunchbox. He didn't believe I would do it. Well, I came home with a Tink box with rainbow colors and glitter and yes he has had to take it to school twice, but only twice in the last 8 weeks where he had been leaving it about 3 times a week-so maybe this will help him learn since there is a personal consequence involved for him.

 

[bits-n-pieces]

Being a teenager who has lost 2 sweatshirts (one was returned), I realize that if I lose it I will be buying my own, or going without one.

Tell your daughter that if she loses her phone she will not be receiving another one from YOU.

If she loses her coat, tell her she will be receiving the cheapest ugliest manliest coat you can find.

That ought to scare her into holding onto them

HAHAHA! We have both the "coat of shame" and the "Lunchbox of shame" in our house. We keep them incase DD's forget either at school, which being 8 and 11 happens from time to time but, not as often anymore when they know they must wear or take either of the ugly alternatives.

Good luck to you!