OT but need opinions of other moms

[Imhere]

The kid is 10.

If it were me I would just consider it a 10 year olds joke gone bad.

Big offense can be taken at the smallest slights or mistakes.

When I was 10 I might have tried that joke on someone too, but I can guarantee a parents job loss or poor financial situation would not have occurred to my 10 year old brain.

It was a joke not a personal insult from a 10 year old.

 

[supersnoop]

I think it's common to attach a gift card to a box so it looks like something else. I remember doing it with tapes and cd's when I was growing up. You could always tell when a cassette was wrapped up, so people would box them up to make it look like something else.

Maybe there was a bit of a joke here, too, but, if the card was taped to the outside of the box where it was plainly visible, I don't think it was intended to be mean.

 

[TravelMommy]

in question the benefit of the doubt. I have no question in my mind that they are universally disliked, it appears that it is for a reason. Sorry, but a 10 year old and his parents should know better. I feel this was totally mean spirited. And if these people do not have the emotional intelligence to tell how hurtful this would be, I certainly would not want to associate with them. It is tough when kids learn a lesson like this so young, but there are mean people out there and if someone has mean behavior, perhaps they are not a good choice as a friend. Hope everything goes well with the job search and your son!

 

[drcmk]

I think it is entirely possible that the parents did not know that the boy had wrapped up his old Xbox box. Kids can be sneaky. Maybe that is why he wanted the box back, before his parents recognized it was missing.

One way or another, the only classy thing to do is to make sure your child learns from this experience never to play this kind of joke on someone else.

 

[mhsjax]

I want to give the poor kid the benefit of the doubt.

Unless you see other issues of meanness or bullying, I would see this one instance of the kid trying to be funny. A harmless prank.

My kids are 13, 11, and 9. They (on their own w/o my input) would totally think of this. Here's their thought. "I have this plain Jane gift card to give" Wow! Here's a snazzy way to wrap it (xbox box) Imagine what my friend will think when he opens this!!!

My 13 year old asked for my old iPad box. She put a notebook in it with an "I" scribbled on the front. Wrapped it up and gave it to her "boy" friend for Christmas (not allowed to have a boyfriend... he's a friend that happens to be a boy)

His parents got a little weirded out that a girl might have gave their son an iPad for Christmas. However, the boy thought it was the coolest thing ever! In fact he liked the prank so much he plans to regift it to someone in the future... because its funny.

My daughter made the gift because she thought it would make her friend smile. They joke around.
She imagined the shock & speechlessness, and the moment he would get the joke.

At no point was she thinking about her friend's parents or their economic status. She was just excited to see the shock on his face, and hoped he would appreciate the joke.

In her case, joke was appreciated.

In your case, if it wasn't appreciated, I guess you or your son can ask for an apology.

But I wouldn't write a kid off as being mean, only based on this one instance.

Not the same situation as the OP explained. The parents knew that they couldn't afford an X Box, and to give him a gift in that box was beyond tacky and if my kid even tried to do that, I would give him a very quick and not very pleasant lesson on having feelings and manners. It was rude and there is no other way around it.

 

[disneychrista]

I think it is entirely possible that the parents did not know that the boy had wrapped up his old Xbox box. Kids can be sneaky. Maybe that is why he wanted the box back, before his parents recognized it was missing.

But the parents would know that they only got him a gift card.

 

[cel_disney]

Not the same situation as the OP explained. The parents knew that they couldn't afford an X Box, and to give him a gift in that box was beyond tacky and if my kid even tried to do that, I would give him a very quick and not very pleasant lesson on having feelings and manners. It was rude and there is no other way around it.

I am sure thousands of children asked for Xbox and idevices that didn't get them for Christmas this year - regardless of whether their family had the money for it or not - the "I" pad joke would have been well received by almost all of them - whether they were 5 or 25...this Xbox box was just a joke - I mean - of COURSE a 10 year old couldn't get another 10 year old an Xbox for his birthday! But it was a way of showing him that he listened to the request about what he wanted but gave him 10$ for target because that's what was an appropriate gift...

It had nothing todo with rubbing it in that 'I have an Xbox and you don't -(I have two rainbow looms and you don't! I have skylanders Swapforce and you don't! I have a 3DS and you don't! Etc) that happened WEEKS ago when everyone returned back from Vacation...

Don't make this be a pitty party about your DH not having a job - focus on it being a joke and make sure that your son learns more about time and places for a joke...

 

[stsomewhere]

I am sure thousands of children asked for Xbox and idevices that didn't get them for Christmas this year - regardless of whether their family had the money for it or not - the "I" pad joke would have been well received by almost all of them - whether they were 5 or 25...this Xbox box was just a joke - I mean - of COURSE a 10 year old couldn't get another 10 year old an Xbox for his birthday! But it was a way of showing him that he listened to the request about what he wanted but gave him 10$ for target because that's what was an appropriate gift...

It had nothing todo with rubbing it in that 'I have an Xbox and you don't -(I have two rainbow looms and you don't! I have skylanders Swapforce and you don't! I have a 3DS and you don't! Etc) that happened WEEKS ago when everyone returned back from Vacation...

Don't make this be a pitty party about your DH not having a job - focus on it being a joke and make sure that your son learns more about time and places for a joke...

I agree. Especially if the giver asked the birthday boy what he wanted and the response was XBOX

 

[akcire]

I'm mean. I'd probably throw a second party titled friends not playing Xbox one. Then I'd invite the 9 non offensive kids over and have a second party without the box kid.

Kids like junk food and most like video games. I'd spend a hundred bucks getting them junk food and arrange to borrow enough tvs and gaming systems so they could all play together.

 

[2kidsForMe]

Our family likes a good joke as much as the next, and we aren't throwing a pity party because DH is out of work. I know the kid is only 10, but his parents were totally aware, no question. This is why I came on the board looking for other opinions, which I appreciate. I wanted to get some perspective. Of course lots of kids asked for an XBOX One for Christmas and didn't get it. That wasn't the purpose of my post. Anyway, as I stated before, there has been some weirdness with this family in the past, and they are not well liked. For example, she has boy/girl twins and gave a joint birthday party last year. Boy had his friends, girl had hers. On each invite, she noted if you should bring a gift for the boy or girl, along with a suggested dollar amount. (My son was invited by her son, but was asked to bring a gift for his sister). When asked why, mom said she didn't want the amount of gifts to be "unfair" between the twins, because they would be upset! So, gifting is a hot topic with this family anyway. We were all friends once, but I think we had better move on. Again, thanks for all of the replies.

 

[BLLB]

I'm sorry this happened to your son.

 

[dpswift]

I think that is was very rude and mean. It is hard enough for kids to go through a parents loss of a job. In fact I heard of a special needs child being made fun of on the school bus because the family had to downsize.

I however do feel that presents are meant to be opened at parties. Most kids put a lot into the selection of the gift and it means a great deal to them to see the reaction of the recipient.

 

[lauradis]

It was very rude. They are 10 so more then likely it wasn't done with malicious intent.

I wouldn't stoop to other parents level and get stupid or nasty unless ask how my son enjoyed gift. All bets would be off then.

This would be a really good time to remind son about good friends and jerks we know. Plus he is male I would want my husbands input on the proper male responds to this.

That's it, he will run into lots of jerks in life easier to learn under the guidance of loving parents.

 

[Ashlotte]

I'm not sure how I would react, but I wanted to ask about not opening gifts in front of guests. Is this a regional thing? I get that birthdays, showers, etc. are not about the gifts -- but where I'm from (New Orleans) and where I live (Florida), it would be considered rude to not open gifts guests have brought.

People do that where I live as well and I am not a fan. The joy in giving a gift is seeing the person open it and enjoy it. I think the not opening gifts at a party thing started so that the non-birthday kids didn't feel upset that they weren't getting gifts, although most people give party favors anyway. I think it is important for kids to learn the art and joy of giving AND receiving gifts, and taking this out of parties does not give them the chance to learn this.

To the OP, I think this was a poorly thought out gag that did not go over well. Although it was definitely mean and in poor taste, I don't think it was meant to be malicious. People that make jokes at the expense of others don't think about how it feels to be the butt of the joke, so I don't think it was done with the purpose of making your son feel bad. My guess is they honestly thought it would be funny. I probably would not say anything to the parents (especially since they knew about it), but would limit that friendship as much as possible. Sorry that happened.

 

[kirstenb1]

Kids do stupid things. So, I might let the kid off the hook, but not the parents. And I'll just say it....realizing everything on the DIS is regional. In our little rural middle class community, if I'm giving a gift card for a kid's birthday, it's $20. And that's very average. Our dd's have received all kinds of gifts and $ amounts. Everyone has a different budget, and oftentimes, the most creative and thoughtful gifts cost very little. But to give a $10 gift card stands out to me.

 

[tinkarooni]

In my opinion these parents are obnoxious jerks, and unfortunately are probably raising their kids the same way.

The bottom line though is that it is not the last time your son will have to deal with jerks. I would say nothing to the family and focus more on making it a teachable moment for your child. I wouldn't give them any emotional power over your family......show your son that behavior like that does not deserve the dignity of a response and you just can't control the behavior of other people, but you can control your response to it.

 

[GatorMomInNC]

Kids do stupid things. So, I might let the kid off the hook, but not the parents. And I'll just say it....realizing everything on the DIS is regional. In our little rural middle class community, if I'm giving a gift card for a kid's birthday, it's $20. And that's very average. Our dd's have received all kinds of gifts and $ amounts. Everyone has a different budget, and oftentimes, the most creative and thoughtful gifts cost very little. But to give a $10 gift card stands out to me.

I was thinking the same thing. I would be fine with no gift from a family that can't afford it, but $10 from a family that is , per the OP "well off". seems cheap.

 

[GatorMomInNC]

Our family likes a good joke as much as the next, and we aren't throwing a pity party because DH is out of work. I know the kid is only 10, but his parents were totally aware, no question. This is why I came on the board looking for other opinions, which I appreciate. I wanted to get some perspective. Of course lots of kids asked for an XBOX One for Christmas and didn't get it. That wasn't the purpose of my post. Anyway, as I stated before, there has been some weirdness with this family in the past, and they are not well liked. For example, she has boy/girl twins and gave a joint birthday party last year. Boy had his friends, girl had hers. On each invite, she noted if you should bring a gift for the boy or girl, along with a suggested dollar amount. (My son was invited by her son, but was asked to bring a gift for his sister). When asked why, mom said she didn't want the amount of gifts to be "unfair" between the twins, because they would be upset! So, gifting is a hot topic with this family anyway. We were all friends once, but I think we had better move on. Again, thanks for all of the replies.

THIS is obnoxious. Btw, what WAS the suggested dollar amount?

 

[luvsJack]

Our family likes a good joke as much as the next, and we aren't throwing a pity party because DH is out of work. I know the kid is only 10, but his parents were totally aware, no question. This is why I came on the board looking for other opinions, which I appreciate. I wanted to get some perspective. Of course lots of kids asked for an XBOX One for Christmas and didn't get it. That wasn't the purpose of my post. Anyway, as I stated before, there has been some weirdness with this family in the past, and they are not well liked. For example, she has boy/girl twins and gave a joint birthday party last year. Boy had his friends, girl had hers. On each invite, she noted if you should bring a gift for the boy or girl, along with a suggested dollar amount. (My son was invited by her son, but was asked to bring a gift for his sister). When asked why, mom said she didn't want the amount of gifts to be "unfair" between the twins, because they would be upset! So, gifting is a hot topic with this family anyway. We were all friends once, but I think we had better move on. Again, thanks for all of the replies.

The parents sound a little off, for sure. I still don't think I would encourage my son to end his friendship. I probably wouldn't remain friends with the parents but this would just be a last straw kinda thingv to stop trying.

I would let my son make his own decision about his friend. Sounds like the kid is just following mom and dad's lead.

 

[ICF]

I can see where a 10 year old would think it would be a funny thing to do to his friend.....

....However, the kids parents should have known better. It was mean of them to let their kid do it.