OT- bridal shower

[DISNEY4XMAS]

I am not sure if I sound envious or mad? But I was invited to a bridal shower for someone who eloped over 7 months ago. They the bride and groom are hosting a reception for themselves next week... that is fine ....I guess. But is it asking to much for the brides sister to be throwing her a a bridal shower this far out from when they got married. The couple went to Vegas and got married in Feb/ March or sometime around there. The bride and groom live with brides mom so it isn't like they need anything for a house... If I DO decide to go what do you give to the couple that have 2 children and live home with the parents??? BESIDES MONEY$$$$.
In our family almost all of us eloped and NONE of us had a shower before or after... Am I just being Jealous?

 

[teresajoy]

I would probably go to the shower anyway, but I would grumble about it before I went! I'm not sure what I'd give them though! I would have to say that the shower at this point is really not in the best taste, especially since they are also having a reception. It's pretty obvious they are really after gifts. I'm not usually one to put down baby showers or bridal showers, but this does seem a bit odd to me.

ETA: I was assuming that this was family or a close friend, if it wasn't, I would be much more inclined to not attend the shower.

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Yes this is a family member My husbands cousin. Also I forgot to mention that the bridal shower is a suprise for the bride she knows nothing about it!

I grew up in a different part of the country and it is not custom to have a bridal shower if it isn't your first marriage or you have eloped. Yes to me it sounds like they are looking for money whether it be them or her family. I grew up on Miss Manners book and that is a BIG BIG NO NO! I am still on the fence about going! Still not sure of a gift! If I don't go I will still send a gift Miss manners would say I had too!!! LOL

 

[Alesia]

If I don't go I will still send a gift Miss manners would say I had too!!! LOL

Actually, according to Miss Manners, you DO NOT have to send a gift if you don't attend. She and I are in agreement that you shouldn't give in to extortion.

 

[Minniemouse07]

My cousin and her dh eloped in December of 2005 and then had a traditional wedding ceremony (in a church) and large reception Thanksgiving weekend of 2006. She had a large bridal shower thrown by her sisters and nieces at her mom's (my aunt) house.

I didn't see anything wrong w/ it at all. We all had a great time. There was a beach theme to both the shower and the wedding (they eloped to Jamaica and got married on the beach there) with very unique touches and favors.

One of the cool things was that my cousin and her dh had their church wedding in the same church that her parents were married in!

 

[teresajoy]

Yes this is a family member My husbands cousin. Also I forgot to mention that the bridal shower is a suprise for the bride she knows nothing about it!

I grew up in a different part of the country and it is not custom to have a bridal shower if it isn't your first marriage or you have eloped. Yes to me it sounds like they are looking for money whether it be them or her family. I grew up on Miss Manners book and that is a BIG BIG NO NO! I am still on the fence about going! Still not sure of a gift! If I don't go I will still send a gift Miss manners would say I had too!!! LOL

It is a little different knowing it's a suprise. I was thinking when I read your first post that maybe the sister had always imagined she would throw a shower for her sister, and then pressured the sister (bride) into it. Now, I'm wondering even more if it was more the dream of the sister of the bride to do this. I can understand that, she might have felt a little cheated or sad that her sister eloped and she didn't get to do this for her, and wants to do it now.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that this might be more for the sister of the bride than for the bride! I know I would have been SOOO disapointed if my sister had went and got eloped and I couldn't throw her a shower!

 

[VAN]

My first instinct would be not to go ... send regrets, but no gift.

HOWEVER, if your ducking out would create a family rift, I'd go ... provide a token gift (restaurant certificate) ... and have a good time. Some things just aren't worth years of bad feelings.

 

[Frantasmic]

It sounds like you believe that only people who are married in a church should receive wedding gifts from friends and relatives.

Or, is it the time frame that has elapsed that is bothering you more?

Weddings can be religious or civil occasions and most people want to express their congratulations with gifts as our societal mores dictates.

That doesn't seem so wrong.

 

[Minniemouse07]

I should add.. dh and I were married in Jamaica while on a cruise. It was a planned destination wedding. We sent out an invitation 1.5yrs out to over 200 people asking if they wanted to come, and shared that we would have a celebration picnic upon our return.

We ended up w/ 20 family and friends on the cruise w/ us and two family members met us in Jamaica.

My MOH threw us a bridal shower 2mo before we left, and we had over 100 people at our picnic upon our return.

Was that in poor taste too?

 

[Alesia]

Showers come before the wedding. Receptions come after.