OT- Biting toddler at daycare- Help!!!!!- UPDATE

[barkley]

i have to echo those that say biting is not something 'most' kids do at some time or another.

i taught in toddler and preschools in a variety of settings, and honestly only ever encountered a biter once-he was a little guy who we worked with allot, as did his parents, but ultimatly for the safety of the other children his parents were told to find alternate arrangements.

neither of my 2 have ever bitten anyone.

as the parent of a child who was on the receiving end of 2 bites from the same child with no provocation (staff saw both, dd was sitting across the room and another toddler calmly walked over and bit her on the face on 2 occasions)-i can say that i have no issue with a child being removed from daycare if this habit can't be addressed and corrected. as painful as it may be to be told your child can no longer attend a daycare, i can assure you that it's equaly painful when your child has to have shots, antibiotics and treatment for a painful bite. it's even more painful as a parent to have that same child fearful from their experience cringe away from you when you try to hold them close and offer a kiss on the cheek

in the op's situation i would be questioning the daycare staff about why if they had already observed this little boys inappropriate behaviours they had'nt started addressing it before her dd reacted in this way.

 

[reginaastralis]

OP, they had to seperate my dd and her boyfriend this year as well. He was always holding doors open for her, pulling out chairs for her, asking him to sit by her ... it was really cute. BUT, like your daughter's beau, got to be a little "much".

They still see eachother at lunch/snack time and at the playground, but they are doing better now that they aren't in class together. Neither of them had to resort in bitting, however ... he would pour BUCKETS of sand in her hair daily. She'd be all wet with sweat and he would just DUMP sand. They gave her a bath at daycare a couple of times because of this. I told her to tell him to not pour sand in her hair, but she told me she liked it.

SIGH, young love.

 

[NemoMOm]

You are not the only poster to state this.....I just can't fathom this though.

Neither of my kids ever bit, & neither did any kids in their playgroups nor any of my kids' friends. The only time I've ever heard about biting is when I read it here on the DIS.

I agree, I was suprised by this. I run an at home daycare and none of mine bite except 1 and she is autistic so it is a way of communicating.

Also Op if she communicates really well could you not have her go to the teacher and inform them when she is being harrassed?

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

I was a biter!!! My parents said I was so frustrated that I couldn't express myself to my "evil" big sister that I would bite her anytime she started to pick on me. Well, my mom got very angry about this and said "Biting hurts." The next time my older sister picked on me, I pinned her down and started chomping on her hair, knowing that it wouldn't hurt her, but I still got to take my frustration out! I was inventive! Well, about 18 years later...I got a job at a daycare. The resident biter of the two year olds latched onto my finger with all his might. It actually took two other adult teachers to pry his jaws off of me and my finger just oozed blood! It horrified not only me but also the roomful of 2 & 3 year olds watching! What can I say....KARMA GOT ME!!!

 

[r4blessings]

Wow! Great idea talking to her and having her yell for help when her little friend gets too close! Sometimes all we need to do is give our children the tools for how to handle things like this, and they will follow through! She was, as you guessed biting out of self-defense, and while yes, biting is horrible, she was getting in trouble for defending herself. You just taught her how to handle the situation, so great job mom!

 

[workinmomof2]

My little one is a biter. He bites when he is tired, mad or frustrated. He mainly bites his big brother who I know will not share with him or will take toys from him. His only defense is to bite. He has done some whopper bites. We continually put him in timeout, have talks with him. Have talks with the big one, but it is continuing. I am so frustrated that I have it on the list to talk to the doctor about at his 2 yr checkup. Everyone keeps telling me that he will grow out of it, however, it has been going on for about 6 months and he seems to be getting more vicious.

 

[smylie1]

You are not the only poster to state this.....I just can't fathom this though.

Neither of my kids ever bit, & neither did any kids in their playgroups nor any of my kids' friends. The only time I've ever heard about biting is when I read it here on the DIS.

I agree. Neither of my DS's bit, nor have they ever been bitten. Maybe we're just lucky!

 

[Schmeck]

Everyone must also be aware that in this day and age, HIV and other diseases can be spread by a bite. If your child has been bitten, or has bitten another person and broken the skin, something much more horrible than a tooth mark might have been left behind. Hopefully the pre-schools are sensitive to this situation.

 

[DVCJones]

Everyone must also be aware that in this day and age, HIV and other diseases can be spread by a bite. If your child has been bitten, or has bitten another person and broken the skin, something much more horrible than a tooth mark might have been left behind. Hopefully the pre-schools are sensitive to this situation.

Hmmm, the daycare director did mention, that had she broken the skin, she would have had to request both children to go and get Hep. shots

 

[seashoreCM]

He mainly bites his big brother who I know will not share with him or will take toys from him. We continually put him in timeout, have talks with him. Have talks with the big one, but it is continuing. .

You (and the day care supervisor when at day care) need to be pro-active and separate the two and treat each of them fairly but put more sanctions on the one who is aggressive in each incident.

If you have wondered why there are so many rude people on airplanes, in theme parks, on the road, etc. much of the reason is lack of attention by persons in charge.

Disney hints: http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

 

[luvsJack]

My mother ran a child care center for several years. I worked as director and have had quite a bit of training in early childhood development. Any child development expert will tell you that biting is quiet common. No, every child does not do it, but it is still common, especially in child care. It is a defense for children. the other child is in her space--that's the way she feels whether the teacher, director or whoever sees it that way or not--that's the way she sees it. A 2 year old cannot put together being punished at 6 pm (or whatever time you take her home) for something she did that morning. We had biters in our center, but we never put a child out of our center for it. If the group is too large , the room to small for the group or if there are not enough toys to go around a child will bite. If a child is irritable because they are tired, hungry or feeling bad they will bite. The teacher for your child needs to stay close to your child or to the child she is biting and see what is happening--besides if she is close she can stop it before it happens. If she cannot stay close, maybe she has too many children in her group. In this state a center can legally have 12 2year olds in one class-that's way too many, but its the norm around here. We tried to keep it at no more than 6-9. And even then had an extra person with them at times that biting, hitting and such happened--like when going outside or coming in, meal times, etc. I do not think your child is going through anything but normal toddler behavior. And you are right on target as for why she is biting. She just needs to learn other ways to communicate with the other child. You said she is very verbal--so teaching her to use words is a great way. The teacher needs to be teaching all of the children how to use their words not their hands, mouths or whatever. We also had a child development expert to tell us that if a child is biting out of anger or irritability, to give them something safe to bite, a teething toy, washcloth or other soft item. They could get out thier frustration without hurting anyone, then afterwards the child would be rewarded for not hurting anyone. Don't know if this works, we never tried it. We did do things like making sure they class had little snacks so they weren't getting too hungry between meals, giving them plenty of rest time and making sure we somewhere in the room set up so that if a child wanted to be away from the other kids they could (still within the adult's vision) even if it was under a table with a blanket. We had several biters over the years (not at the same time, thank goodness!!), of all of them-only one still has anger issues. And believe me, biting was not the worst of it with this child!!