OT: Am I overreacting?

[vcr]

DD (13) came to me and while we were talking, she says (out of the blue) I can't tell any of ###'s secrets or they can sue me. I immediately asked what she was talking about and she said her friends parents had her sign a contract that she wouldn't tell any of theirs or their daughters secrets. When she saw how upset I was, she said but it works both ways, they won't tell any of my secrets. The she tells me the example the girls father gave her was that if she became a prostitute (CAN I REMIND YOU SHE'S 13) he wouldn't tell anyone. These are good drinking buddies of my DH, they supply him with free drinks, way too many lately, but that's another issue, and he sticks up for them always. When I told him about the "contract", I conveniently left out who it was and he flipped out ranting and raving, but the minute I told him who, he calmed down and said, "Well that's weird". I know these people are nudists (and I think swingers), and I have told DD before not to mention it at school, because it's not the girls fault. I think if they were worried about my daughter saying something at school, they should have talked to me or DH. I told my daughter that she could play with the girl (who lives across the street) but couldn't go in their house anymore. I also asked my DD's best friends parents if they were aware of their DD signing this contract, and they were upset also. Today my DD came home and said the girl isn't allowed at our house anymore and when I asked my DH, he said they were mad my DD couldn't come over and that I had informed the other girls parent. When I called the other girls mom, she told me that they told her they thought the parents knew (then why would they get mad I mentioned it?) and that it only involved their daughter (then why was it 2 seperate contracts, one for the kid and one for the parents)

I am so furious about them putting my DD in this situation and they really (especially the controlling husband) disgust me. I don't want anything to do with them and I don't want my kids around them either. I am also angry at DH for putting his drinking above our DD's safety and well-being. Thanks if you got through all this for letting me vent. Am I overreacting?

 

[Feralpeg]

That is totally bizarre. Of course, an adult cannot enter into a binding contract like that with a minor, so your DD doesn't need to worry about it. The fact that they even brought it up would be enough for me to distance myself from them. Too strange!

 

[Scurvy]

Of course you're not overreacting.

 

[wii fit mama]

You are not overreacting, this does not sound like the kind of family your dd should be spending time with. Although I agree its not fair to their daughter, you need to care of your dd first.

 

[pweyl36]

Am I missing something,but what is the contract for?

 

[TaraPA]

OMG! Distance yourself is all I can say!

To each their own - if they're swingers, nudists, alcoholics, whatever.....but by making your daughter sign that contract - that is just plain bizarre if you ask me. You are not over reacting, I would be totally freaked out (and a little skeeved too!)

 

[DISNEYFOS]

I think I would stay far away from any guy that would talk about prostitution with my 13 year old daughter. Thats nuts. DH needs to find a new drinking buddy

 

[katiebug86]

I think that is the most bizarre thing I've ever heard.

 

[lulugirl]

Strange people, I would keep my distance.

 

[melancholywings]

I don't think you're over reacting. A grown man talking about prostitution with a 13 year old girl, and asking her to sign a contract with them smells awfully pedo to me and a set up for a possible abuse situation. It doesn't matter what their life style is. If he can get her to do that, and try to hid it from you what's next?

 

[StephMK]

Nope, not overreacting at all & I would question their common sense if they're having a child sign a contract (and without parental knowledge). That is just plain odd & makes you wonder what all they are hiding.

 

[bellebud]

you're not overreacting at all! And I honestly wish your dh would find another 'drinking buddy'. That man (the friends father) is a total idiot at best, or is grooming her at worst. Geez!!! What is wrong w/ people today? There aren't enough stories on the news every single freaking day about crazy things happening - how can that man (and the mom!) not have any sense about proper boundries, etc. The fact they don't know what they did is weird and wrong is what would worry me more than anything. Please keep your dd away from them.

 

[Flashbaak]

You aren't overreacting. Nobody tells my child that they have to keep secrets from anyone, let alone sign a contract. What in the world.

aak

 

[Miss LD]

That's weird. Very weird.
If it were my child I'd not only say no more visiting their house, I'd also be demanding the contract to see exactly what it said.

 

[nessz79]

Very, very creepy.

Definitely keep her away. Don't let anyone get to you on that.

If DH doesn't agree, I'd say that your child's safety comes first, whatever that means for you and DH.

Someone discussing prostitution with a 13 year old and that they would keep it a secret? Nope, no way. Not ever.

 

[brockash]

DD (13) came to me and while we were talking, she says (out of the blue) I can't tell any of ###'s secrets or they can sue me. I immediately asked what she was talking about and she said her friends parents had her sign a contract that she wouldn't tell any of theirs or their daughters secrets. When she saw how upset I was, she said but it works both ways, they won't tell any of my secrets. The she tells me the example the girls father gave her was that if she became a prostitute (CAN I REMIND YOU SHE'S 13) he wouldn't tell anyone. These are good drinking buddies of my DH, they supply him with free drinks, way too many lately, but that's another issue, and he sticks up for them always. When I told him about the "contract", I conveniently left out who it was and he flipped out ranting and raving, but the minute I told him who, he calmed down and said, "Well that's weird". I know these people are nudists (and I think swingers), and I have told DD before not to mention it at school, because it's not the girls fault. I think if they were worried about my daughter saying something at school, they should have talked to me or DH. I told my daughter that she could play with the girl (who lives across the street) but couldn't go in their house anymore. I also asked my DD's best friends parents if they were aware of their DD signing this contract, and they were upset also. Today my DD came home and said the girl isn't allowed at our house anymore and when I asked my DH, he said they were mad my DD couldn't come over and that I had informed the other girls parent. When I called the other girls mom, she told me that they told her they thought the parents knew (then why would they get mad I mentioned it?) and that it only involved their daughter (then why was it 2 seperate contracts, one for the kid and one for the parents)

I am so furious about them putting my DD in this situation and they really (especially the controlling husband) disgust me. I don't want anything to do with them and I don't want my kids around them either. I am also angry at DH for putting his drinking above our DD's safety and well-being. Thanks if you got through all this for letting me vent. Am I overreacting?

No, your not over reacting at all. That is totally nuts. Having a chld sign a contract is completely weird in itself, but then the example about your daughter being a prostitute????? Are they crazy???? No you're completely sane, and I have no idea what to say about your husband, but you definetly need to stand your ground on this. And I'm going to say something, and it's not to freak you out, and I'm not saying that was the intentions of your creapy neighbors/friends or anything, but I work at a district attorney's office, and work with the special victims unit often, and I just want you to know that mind games like this for example is one sick way that predators start trying to control their victims, so please just be very careful. I think it says a lot that your daughter still came to you and told you about it, because she probably knew it wasn't right, and you're completely right that it's totally unacceptable.

 

[AUDramaQueen]

No, your not over reacting at all. That is totally nuts. Having a chld sign a contract is completely weird in itself, but then the example about your daughter being a prostitute????? Are they crazy???? No you're completely sane, and I have no idea what to say about your husband, but you definetly need to stand your ground on this. And I'm going to say something, and it's not to freak you out, and I'm not saying that was the intentions of your creapy neighbors/friends or anything, but I work at a district attorney's office, and work with the special victims unit often, and I just want you to know that mind games like this for example is one sick way that predators start trying to control their victims, so please just be very careful. I think it says a lot that your daughter still came to you and told you about it, because she probably knew it wasn't right, and you're completely right that it's totally unacceptable.

On this same line of thinking, have you sat down and asked your daughter what exactly they wanted her to keep a secret? I'm sure they were just trying to protect their taboo ways, but in case it's something more than that I would make sure she doesn't have anything to share about what might be going on with the daughter or, God forbid, her.

This is completely out of bounds.

 

[Nie0214]

No, your not over reacting at all. That is totally nuts. Having a chld sign a contract is completely weird in itself, but then the example about your daughter being a prostitute????? Are they crazy???? No you're completely sane, and I have no idea what to say about your husband, but you definetly need to stand your ground on this. And I'm going to say something, and it's not to freak you out, and I'm not saying that was the intentions of your creapy neighbors/friends or anything, but I work at a district attorney's office, and work with the special victims unit often, and I just want you to know that mind games like this for example is one sick way that predators start trying to control their victims, so please just be very careful. I think it says a lot that your daughter still came to you and told you about it, because she probably knew it wasn't right, and you're completely right that it's totally unacceptable.

^^

I don't even have kids, but the whole situation is way over the boundary of anything I would tolerate.

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

Uh - time for your DH to ditch his so-called buddy. Free booze or not, no man should be discussing prostitution with an underage girl. I agree with the other poster that said he sounds very pedo. You need to ask your daughter if anything has happened that she's been forced to keep secret.

 

[vcr]

Thanks for all of the support. I did have a talk with my daughter (she's been taught from a young age what to look out for and I think that's why she told me) and made her very aware that she is never to sign anything without our consent again and that she is not old enough to sign a contract. I am positive that nothing happened, as she never liked this man either and usually only went over there if he was out of town (he travels a lot) or her dad was there. I questioned her very specifically about the "secrets" and as far as she knew, their being nudists was the only one and they were never nude around her ever. She is very self-confident and has stood up for herself when this family accused her of being "mean" to their daughter and their daughter ended up caught in a lie. DH has only had 1 beer in the last 3 days and he's been grumpy. When things settle down, I do plan to have a long talk with him. My kids are no longer allowed over their even if their Daddy is.